Wandering 
Part One: Lost...
by Ina-chan
First Posted Online:  July 25, 2002
History:  Ina-chan's first Yukiru Fic

                The summer breeze ruffled gently through her hair. She always had affection for summer.  She used to enjoy the leisurely walk through these woods. If it were another time, she would be walking side by side with him.

But that was another time… long, long ago. The truth is, now, she shouldn’t be here in the first place. She was supposed to stay away. That was the contract she agreed on ten years ago.

Her freedom… 

                /“You can go anywhere… anyplace you want. Do anything you want. Study in college. Won’t your MOTHER be proud of that?”/

Her memories…

/“I even won’t ask your memory to be erased. That will be my gift.”/

Their happiness…

/“Do you think you’re making things better by staying around them? You’re simply giving them false hope. The more they are attached to you, inevitably, at the end, the more you will end up hurting them.”/

In exchange…

/“So before that happens, why don’t you take the initiative and…/

For just one simple thing… 

                /…go away.”/

                She closed her eyes and instinctively wrapped her arms around herself as she braced against the chill that automatically ran down her spine when those memories plagued her. Then silently scolded herself.  

                That was a long time ago, she was still a naïve child then. She’s older now with a ten years’ worth of confident experience. She left that life behind the moment she agreed to that contract with the devil. And now… specially now… it was useless. She was no longer bound to him. With that, she let out a defeated sigh and smiled upon realizing the irony.  

                She’s definitely changed from when she was seventeen. Back then, she would have been mortified to death at the idea of herself thinking disrespectfully of someone, specially if that someone had already died. Her younger self would definitely not break the promise she made. The truth is, she almost didn’t. Even though some time had already passed since that person had died. Despite of what she felt in her heart, she still never mustered enough courage to defy that promise. It took ten years and of all the reasons… a stupid business trip… to get her to set foot back in Japan .  

                Back then, her naïve younger self didn’t believe that all the misfortunes felt by those who came before her would actually happen to her. She innocently had complete faith in the goodness of people around her, despite cruel appearances. She didn’t realize, until too late, that she wasn’t immune. That she too was vulnerable to feel inexplicable fear… and pain.  

                “Wondervoll! They seem to be growing very well!”  

                The cheerful voice followed by a hearty rumble of laughter nudged her out of her reverie. Her eyes widened in horror as she realized exactly where she was. His voice had changed now. It was much more deeper, definitely more adult. But deep in her heart, she knew there was no mistaking it.   

“Momiji-kun…” She whispered inaudibly, closing her eyes at the pleasant warm rush of her memories.  

Though she did venture into this territory out of the need to satisfy her nostalgic hunger, she didn’t intend to wander close enough to run into any of them. Of course, Momiji-kun was the last person she expected here. Part of herself wanted to break through the bushes and give the young man a surprising hug, just like the number of times he himself had done to her when they were younger.  But the stronger illogical part of herself screamed in horror, begging her to turn tail and run before it was too late. Just as she was about to follow the latter, she heard it… Though it too sounded deeper and more adult, it still had that soft yet attention-grabbing quality to it… his voice.  

“The strawberries would be ready soon… I think.”  

She felt her heart stop as she held her breath, afraid to make a sound… As if hypnotized by the sound of that voice, she slowly took a few silent steps forward and tried to peek through the shrubbery and bushes. Momiji was standing by him, his back to her, admiring the fruits of his cousin’s labour. He had grown so tall that he almost covered everything from her sight. She dared to take a few more steps, inching to steal a view of what she so desperately wanted to see. Then angrily wiped the river that started to flood her eyes just as she finally caught sight of him.  

It was a sight that she has seen many times before in the past. He was kneeling and lovingly tending to the patches of vegetation of their secret base. Had it not for the sharper and older angles on his face, it would almost seem as if time had stopped for him. He looked just as beautiful as he had been when they were seventeen. A frown of concerned lined on her forehead at the realization that he looked somewhat thinner and paler than she remembered. She craned her neck and took another step to get a better view, when her foot slipped on a hidden rock, and the next thing she knew she tumbled clumsily on the ground in an undignified heap. She silently swore under her breath as she quickly got on her knees to brush the dirt and grass that clung to her clothes.  

“Who’s there?”  

She froze and held her breath, willing that neither men would come to investigate where she was… willing herself to magically disappear. But things in her life rarely went the way anyway. Before she knew it, she found herself staring at a very surprised brown pair of eyes.  

“To…ru?” Momiji said aloud in surprise  

What else could a person caught red-handed do other than say…  

“I’m sorry!”  

… and run like the wind.  

She flew through the woods as fast as her feet could carry her, ignoring the twigs and clumps of vegetation that scratched the exposed skin of her limbs and her face.  Silently praying that neither men would attempt to pursue her.  

“To-ru!! TO-RU!!

 However, it is instinct after all, to pursue persistently something that’s beyond your reach.  

“TO-RU!! WAIT!! PLEASE!!”

 And Souma Momiji was known for his damned persistence.

 “TO-RU!” He called one last time as she felt his hand latch onto her wrist.

 “Imsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorryimsorry!!!!” She blurted out loud uncontrollably.

 If it were another time, both of them would have probably burst out laughing at the absurdity of the situation.

 “To-ru? What’s wrong? It’s just me!”

 If it were another time, hysterical tears wouldn’t be running down her face.

 “I’m sorry Momiji-kun! Please let go. I have to go. I’m not supposed to be here!”

 If it were another time, she wouldn’t feel so afraid…

 “TO-RU!” He sounded frightened as well. He sounded desperate to reach through her hysteria as he grasped her by the shoulders and shook her firmly.

 She stopped as she saw his own tears threatening to spill out from his eyes. She bowed down her head in shame and lightly rested her forehead on his chest, “I’m sorry Momiji-kun. I’m so sorry.”

 “Then please… please don’t run away anymore,” Momiji whispered over her head, “Please don’t go away again… at least for now.”

 “All right, I promise,” She whispered back, a sense of relief washing over her as she continued to let him loosely hold her as he did many times before, “I promise that I won’t.”

 “Momiji?” Another voice called out from the near distance

 Momiji instantly straightened up, almost causing her to loose balance and fall into him, “Verdammt, I almost forgot!”  

 She looked at him, a little confused at sudden change in demeanour. She turned around and saw HIM. He was standing a short distance away, as if afraid to intrude. He was just as she remembered him, standing shyly with that nervous pose of his, slightly leaning to one side with one arm crossed over the other. He looked almost exactly the same but…  

                “It’s okay Yuki, it’s only To-ru!” Momiji called out reassuringly  

                …but…  

                “I’m sorry…” she began nervously  

                …but somehow, she must have had a feeling then and there that there was something different…  

                “I’m sorry I ran away,” she continued, wiping the wet corners of her eyes with her fingers  

                …something in the way that Momiji suddenly put a hand on her shoulder and gave her a comforting squeeze as if to steady her…  

                “I’m… sorry… too,” He echoed uncertainly as his expressive grey eyes seemed to search hers

                …something in the way that he looked at her.  

                “Momiji?” Yuki turned to his cousin as if to ask for assistance, “Is she someone we know?”  

If it were another time…

 Continued on Part Two: ...Searching... 
 

Author’s squawk:

Waaaaa! I can’t believe I actually finished this chapter in one sitting! ^_^. Anywayz, inspiration has once again hit Ina-chan. I normally don’t do continuation fics, but I’ve been playing with this “what if scenario” since I wrote “Defying Heaven” but I just never figured out what to do with it until the latest developments starting from chapter 58 inspired me! I don’t think its very original, since I’ve read several fics playing with the similar idea with Tooru in Yuki’s position.

But this one’s short and sweet. This is going to be another 3-parter like “Defying Heaven”. Don’t worry, its already finished in my head. It’s just a matter of getting enough concentration to sit down and curb my poor attention span to type it out. Hopefully, you guys will find it just as interesting! ^_^. Well… its 1:30 AM and I  gotta go to work in the morning! ^_^.

Ja!
Ina-chan