Wandering 
Part Two: ...Searching...
by Ina-chan
First Posted Online:  July 26, 2004
History:  Ina-chan's First Yukiru Fic

                At first, she thought it would be strange. However, she was proven wrong the moment she stepped inside Shigure’s house. It almost felt like stepping into a pair of old, neglected, but comfortable slippers. It was familiar, but at the same time, it still needed some getting used to again. She couldn’t help but gape in surprise at her surroundings. It’s just that from how she remembered the inhabitants of the house, everything looked so… clean.

                 “A housekeeper from the main house comes every day for a few hours to help cook and clean,” Momiji remarked from across the low table, reading her thoughts from the expression on her face, before giving a teasing side-long glance at his silent cousin, “otherwise, between Yuki and Shi-chan, the house wouldn’t last a week!”

                 The other man only replied with reverent silence, eyes closed, and hands folded solemnly on his lap. Though she couldn’t help but notice the slight twitching on the mouse’s right eyebrow. She laughed, despite of herself.

                 “Yuki-kun still hasn’t changed, has he?”

                 Like everything about him, it was subtle. But she saw it nonetheless. The way his eyes slightly opened as if suddenly caught off guard, the way the muscles on his jaw slightly clenched, and the way his hands suddenly tightened into fists before relaxing into a somewhat defeated stance. Without warning, he rose to his feet, nearly banging his shin to the hard table edge.

                 “Yuki… kun?”

                 “I’m tired, I think I’ll go lie down for a bit.”

                 She watched him wordlessly cross the room and disappear into the hallway with great concern. Reverting to the old playful relationship she had with Momiji was effortless. Yuki, in the other hand… He acted like a completely different person. The words he uttered earlier disconcerted her. Yet at the same time, she felt like a schoolgirl again, feeling utterly self-conscious in the presence of her high school prince. The walk back to Shigure’s house was awkward, despite Momiji’s cheerful attempts. At the same time, Momiji was unwilling to give any hint of explanation for his cousin’s odd behaviour. She anxiously turned to the younger man immediately, who simply let out an exasperated sigh.

                 “He’s just being moody. Leave him alone for a while and he’ll be okay,” Momiji stated with a playful smile, as he reached out and caught her hands in his, “Well, it’s his loss for leaving. It just gives me more time to have you for myself.”

                 “Haaaa, Momiji-kun! That was amazing!” Her eyes widened in admiration, “That was really smooth.”

                 “EEEEH!? What’s that supposed to mean?” Momiji shrank back in mock hurt outrage, clutching his chest as if she stabbed him right at the heart

                 “I’m sorry,” She burst out laughing again, “It just that, it feels strange to see Momiji-kun act so grown-up. The change just caught me off-guard.”

                 “Well… we all have to grow up sometime. But still, some of use didn’t change that much. To-ru is exactly how she was ten years ago.” Momiji replied, dropping into a more serious tone, “Only more beautiful than I remember.”

                 She felt the smile on her face start to falter after his hearing his words. Her heart throbbed painfully in her chest as that illogical part of her self started to laugh sarcastically in her head. She wanted to deny it out loud. To scream…

                 /No, Momiji-kun, you’re wrong./

                 “Hmmm…” She forced her lips into a coy smile

                 /That girl has gone a long time ago…/  

                “If Momiji-kun continues to speak in that way…” She leaned forward, just close enough to make him conscious of his personal space  

                /…way back at that time when she agreed to that contract…/

                 “…I might just start to fall in love with you.”

                 /…and sold her soul to the devil./  

                The blonde young man blinked back at her in stunned astonishment, and immediately let out an embarrassed cough in an effort to hide his attempt in increasing the distance between them. Of course, not before turning several shades deeper than a ripe tomato. “Aaah, I give up. There’s no way I can seriously beat a counter like that.”  

                She let out a hearty laugh accepting the young man’s haughty retreat, “So what happened to everyone since?”  

                “Shi-chan got dragged by his manager to some week-long convention earlier this week,” Momiji began with an amused laugh, “He calls now and then to check on things, but mainly just to whine on how boring the convention is and how unfair life is to him in general. He’s supposed to come back tomorrow. He will be thrilled to see you… you will be staying a while to see everyone, won’t you To-ru?”  

                She chewed on her lower lip nervously, seeing the young man’s hopeful expression, “I suppose… we’ll see. I’ll try to see if I can make arrangements with the hotel and…”  

                “Hotel!?” Momiji exclaimed in horror, “Nonsense! Why waste a perfectly good night staying in a hotel when you can stay here and spend time with us? Shi-chan kept To-ru’s room exactly as how she left it. You can stay in your old room, just like old times. You will spend the night here with us, won’t you To-ru?”  

                “But Uo-chan and Hana-chan…”  

                “And Haru is coming over tomorrow as well. I suppose Harii is coming with him to check on Yuki, too. And since Shi-chan is coming back tomorrow, Aya is sure to come over as well. They’ll all be hysterical with tears when they see you again… well, maybe not Harii…”  

                “Momiji-kun…”  

                “I can round out Kisa and Hiro, and I’ll call Gura-nee tonight… she knows how to track down Kyo and drag him back here kicking and screaming if she has to. Everyone will be so happy to see you well. So you will stay, at least long enough to meet everybody again, won’t you, To-ru? Won’t you?”  

                “Haaa…” Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead before letting out a defeated sigh. This was one battle she knew that she would inevitably loose, anyway. If his persistence can’t persuade you, it was simply a matter of time before it tires you down into helpless submission, “Momiji-kun… eto… I don’t think there’s a need to make a big deal out of this and bother everyone...”  

                “Sie haben sich geirrt!!” Momiji’s voice boomed, that she literally jumped back at the intensity of his emotions, “To-ru, it is a big deal! You accept a scholarship to a school in overseas 10 years ago, then five years later that happened…”  

She could only watch him silently as his face fell, his expression looking almost like the child she remembered as his voice slowly faltered into a whisper… “The last letter… you said… that you accepted that person’s marriage proposal, the next thing we hear, the plane that you and your fiancé were supposed to be in…”   

She closed her eyes, letting the grief she knew everyone felt… letting her guilt for allowing it to happen, wash over her, relishing the young man’s silence as she waited for that inevitable question, she knew that he will ask.  

“Why? Why To-ru? Why didn’t you let us know that you were still alive?”            

She clasped her hands together as if to pray, before tiredly resting her forehead, her voice was a hoarse whisper, “I’m sorry, Momiji-kun. You don’t know how much I am.”  

/“Do you think you’re making things better by staying around them?”/

                “I was ill at the time, and I couldn’t travel with him so he went without me.”

                /“Do you really think that you can help them?”/

                 “I was selfish… I was grieving… I tried to bury everything with work.”

                /“You’re just giving them false hope.”/

                “I forced Hana-chan and Uo-chan not to let anybody else know…”

                /"The longer you stay with them…"/

“And.. there were…other many various things involved… that I can’t talk about.”

/“…the more they will be attached to you…”/

“What I did was unforgivable…”

/“…inevitably, at the end, the more you will end up hurting them."/

“That’s why… that’s why I think you shouldn’t make a big deal out of this.”

 The silence that hung on the air was so thick, that she literally felt like she was going to choke and drown in it. She unclasped her hands and covered her face, to catch and hide the tears that once again threatened to spill from her eyes.  

“Did you know…” Momiji began softly, breaking the deafening silence, “…how Yuki felt about you?”  

“Momiji-kun… don’t…” She begged  

“When you left… and when that letter arrived announcing that you were getting married… everyone felt so sad and so angry. It felt like you were being stolen away from us. But Yuki… Yuki kept on smiling… and laughing... acting like nothing was wrong.  I was so angry with him for doing that. Then he scolded me. He said that we should think of what’s most important. And what was most important is that To-ru is happy. And To-ru wouldn’t want us to feel that way because of her.”  

“Momiji-kun, please…”  

“When everyone thought that you died, Yuki carried on that way… smiling and laughing because that was what To-ru would have wanted.  None of us ever realized how hard it was for him, until he started to become physically ill. But still, he kept on trying until his body refused to obey his will. I remember how he would literally force himself to eat only to have his body reject all his efforts.”  

“But now, looking back at all that’s happened… I think I understand it now,” Momiji paused, letting a sad smile to touch his lips as his mind’s eye visited that memory, “I think that Yuki believed that all he had left of To-ru were his memories of her. He was constantly afraid of falling into despair and having that taken away from him that he basically fulfilled his own prophecy.”  

 “Yuki was dying. So to save him, Akito ordered the inevitable.”  

“Akito-san ordered Hatori-san to erase Yuki-kun’s memories of me,” She stated the obvious blandly  

“Yes, but…” Momiji nodded, once again smiling that sad smile, “But Yuki was able to do the unthinkable. He resisted. Harii tried and tried, but Yuki’s will was stronger and resisted. Yuki would rather endure all this pain and suffering rather than loose his memories of you. But that also meant that we would be forced to watch him waste away. We couldn’t let it happen. That’s why… that’s why…” The young man paused as his voice started to fail him.  

“Oh no,” Her eyes widened in horror, the tears she was holding back trickling generously down her face, “Oh God, no…”  

“That’s why… Harii erased all his memories.”

Return to Part One: Lost...  
Continued on Part Three: ...Found  

Author's squawk:

Two down, one to go. This fic idea is really bad for my sleep. This chapter kinda dragged on longer than I expected. But I hope it wasn’t boring. ^_^. I just had to put that thing with Momiji! But hey, won’t Momiji and Tooru make an interesting couple, too? Haaaah… if I wasn’t fixated with Yuki and Tooru, it would be interesting to develop that.

Anywayz, thanks for everyone who gave feedback on part 1. I’m really enjoying writing this, so I hope you guys feel the same way. ^_^. Now if only a certain person, whose name shall remain unmentioned, who wrote certain exceptional fics about a certain FURUBA trio camping out in the mountains… or the trio dealing with a consequences following a valentines day letter… and yes! The consequences of being discovered by a fashion magazine… would also get inspired and write more of them certain fics… ^_^.

Ja!
Ina-chan