Yellow Skies
By:Isis
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, or anything related to, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Joss Whedon and ME do.
**A.N.- I thought this would be the last chapter, but another one is on the way. :) Please review or email me any thoughts or suggestions. I do plan on starting another fic after this one is completed. Anyway, would like to know what I need to work on, and what are my strong points. Thanks:)
*Thanks to MadRog as always...she always finds time to help me, chat with me on the computer and be a friend, while keeping on top of her own fic.
Reviews: Thanks to all of you that have reviewed and kept me going. It makes me very happy!
Email: isis_fanfic@hotmail.com
Distribution: Yes, but please ask first, and let me know where it's going.
********************************************************************
This is rated:PG-13, but you can go to the site I share with my beta, MadRog, to read the NC-17 version. I just now had to delete the part that I couldn't have on here, and throw something else in, so I hope it works...it was done pretty fast.
You can review here or at the site.
At the index page, click on Isis and then go to Chapter 10
www.sunnydale-tales.com
*******************************************************************
-Chapter 10-
Change of Heart
*************
Buffy sat quietly, her mind trying to soak in every detail of her dream and the words her mother had just spoken. Tears eventually slipped down her cheeks, and her shoulders shook with each soft sob. It wasn't long until Spike was by her side.
"Buffy, what's wrong?" he asked, gliding his hand up and down her bare arm.
She looked at him with big, glassy eyes. He searched her over, making sure she was in one piece and nothing on her lovely body was visibly hurt. All he noticed was her trembling lip and the childish, sweet way she was looking at him; it was all he could do not to pull her into his arms. He was going to give in to that temptation, but Dr. Garrison chose that moment to walk in.
"Miss Summers, good, you are awake. I was hoping you would be. Is everything ok?"
Buffy wiped her last tear away, and smiled. "Everything is fine."
"Good. Well, things are going to be even better for you. You can go home in the morning. I don't know how, but your body had had remarkable healing in the short time you've been here. There usually aren't any circumstances that we would let a patient discontinue their antibiotics, but this time, I'll let it slip by."
Buffy was very please by this news, and it only gave her hope she could leave earlier. "Can I go home now?"
Dr. Garrison smirked. "Pushing your luck, aren't you little lady? Don't you think it's best you stay just a few more hours and get as much rest as you can?"
"I'm rested." She inhaled deeply and put on her most charming smile, trying to look as alert as possible. "See? All awake and ready for some homemade food."
Spike sat on the arm of the chair and chuckled from his perch. "Yes, luv. I've heard you're are quite the cook."
"Hey," Buffy said, then looked back at the doctor with puppy eyes. "So, is that a yes?"
He thought for a moment. "Only if you promise to call if any of your symptoms come back. If I had any thought there could be a relapse, I wouldn't even consider this option."
"So, that's a yes?" Spike asked.
"Yes."
After the doctor left, Spike gathered Buffy's things while she made phone calls. The first was to Xander, to request a ride home, and the second was to the house to say she'd be on her way, shortly.
Buffy pulled on her sneakers and was tying them when Spike mentioned he had to go back to his place, for a change of clothes and something to eat.
"But..." Buffy stopped what she was doing and looked up at him.
"But what?" Spike asked.
"Well...can't you come back to my place after?"
Spike thought he detected a slight whininess in her voice that reminded him of her younger half. "Yeah, Dawn may like to see me. Haven't had her bend my ear in a while." He waited to see what she'd say.
"Yeah, Dawn would like to see you. She likes you a lot, you know."
"I do know."
Buffy figured he must like having the certainty of knowing that, unlike how he had to question her own feelings. "Hey, I told you I like you." She stuck her tongue out at him, trying to be playful and make him forget how serious this conversation could turn.
Spike's eyebrows lifted and his forehead wrinkled up. "Don't do that, 'less you mean it."
Buffy rolled her eyes and went back to tying her shoe. "So, see you later then?"
"You can count on it," he said on the way by, then slipped out the door.
Buffy straightened up, a little smile blossoming on her face. 'I always do,' she thought to herself.
****
As the vampire burst into dust, Spike looked around for any other gits that wanted to test his strength. Yes, tonight he was up for a fight, and he wouldn't mind a few more baddies to satisfy his craving. Then again, any distraction took away from his getting back to the Slayer, with minimum minutes lost.
Deciding that the end result of kicking a demon's ass was going to be a whole hell of a lot less satisfying than the end result of what could happen later with Buffy, Spike made a dash toward his crypt. He hoped, beyond hope, that things were about to take a turn for the better. As in, 'I'm desperately in love with you, Spike,' better. Signs so far were indicating that that was the road they had been traveling down the last couple of days. It was Willow, though, that would tell him as to whether this would be a dead end, or not.
Spike finally saw his crypt and slowed down. He hadn't felt this giddy in a long time, and his optimism was slowly being resurrected by the minute. He bit his bottom lip, as he pushed his door open.
Confusion stopped him in his tracks. "Harm?"
"Spike!" Harmony said as she ran up to him.
Spike put his hands on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. "What are you doing here?"
Harmony's bubbly nature didn't notice his not so happy attitude. "Oh, ya know. Just passing though." She shrugged her shoulders. "Well, there is like a few people looking for me, but I thought I could stop by and say hello." She waved her hand. "Hello." Now she was rubbing her hand over his chest. "Did you miss me?"
"Harm, I thought I wouldn't have the displeasure of seeing your ass again."
Harmony had to stop to mull that statement over. "I...I thought maybe you had your fun with the Slayer and by now would be missing what you had." She turned so her ass faced him, and then gave it a little slap. "Remember how you-"
"Harm!" Spike walked away toward the fridge, not the least bit interested. What he had had with Harm now looked like innocent fun, after what he had experienced with Buffy. She knew how to do things that drove him wild, and on top of that, he loved her.
"But Spikey, you know I can't stay away from you. I think of you all the time." Harmony cuddled up to his turned back. She slid her hands up his outer-thighs and onto his butt.
"Hey! Watch it." He shooed her away with his flailing arms. He hadn't noticed before, but she was scantly dressed, and what she did have on was see through. "Come prepared, did you? You must belong to the 'Lingerie For On The Run' club."
Harmony gave a devious smile. "Never know what may pop up." She looked down with displeasure. "And for the money I spent, you would think it would have come with a thong or something." She looked back up, daring him to take notice of what lacked underneath her red getup.
Spike had no desire. "Harm." His tone was threatening, but then his voice softened. "You don't have to sleep with someone to get their approval. Or a favor, for that matter. If that's what it takes, maybe you should reconsider."
Harmony looked confused. "But you always..."
"I know." Spike looked away after he cut her off, then looked back at her. "And it was wrong. I used you, and I treated you like you didn't matter."
"So, are you saying there isn't something wrong with me? Because I always felt I could only get your approval if I..."
"No, pet. It was me. I'm sorry." He didn't bother to mention that yes, she was quite the ditz. That was neither here nor there.
Harmony crossed her arms around herself, almost like she was trying to cover up. "Spikey." She made a soft ohhh sound. "That's the sweetest thing you've ever said."
Spike picked up his bag of clothes and blood. "Listen, I have to go. But if you need to stay the night, to be safe and all, you can. Just be gone by morning." He could see a question in her eyes. "Yes, Harm, I still love her."
Harmony shook her head, that she understood, he guessed. "Bye, Harm."
****
Buffy sat on the couch watching as her hungry friends devoured the take-out food. As good as it was, she didn't feel like eating as much as she thought she would be capable of. A few excuses went through her mind: the bad taste of hospital food lingering in her mouth, shrunk stomach, past the hungry to nauseous stage, I'm in love...the last one made her almost choke on her soda. What? No way, she told herself. But there was no way around it, the possibility had entered her mind and she could no longer deny it. It was the truth. All the symptoms were present: the queasy stomach, fast heartbeat, sweaty hands, and she didn't need to call the doctor, because she knew it had nothing to do with her previous illness. 'Nope,' she thought, 'Self Diagnoses: Love Sick.' The realization amused her, more than put her off, though she was a bit scared of the notion. 'Then again,' she thought, 'at least if it was going to happen, it happened with such a hot, strong, unbelievable in b--'
"Buffy, you are glowing. What did they put in those veins of yours?" Xander asked, bringing her back to the here and now.
"Huh?" she asked, looking around, thinking the sound of his cup being place on the table was the front door clicking shut. Disappointed, she sighed. 'Where the hell is he? If he doesn't show up here, I'm going to go find him and kick his ass...no, no more ass kicking. Then I'll tell him it's not polite to keep a woman waiting...then I'll tie him up and torture him by grabbing-' Buffy jumped up. "Spike!" she said as he came in. Then she sat back down, noticing everyone had raised an eyebrow at her outburst. She let her eyes roam over his body, which was leaning against the doorframe surrounded by his cocky aura. Her eyes lingered on where his hands hung, his thumbs hooked through his belt loops. 'mmm...remember what we did with that belt, Spike?' She looked up and saw that he was watching her, and she wondered if he had read her mind. Looking away quickly, and trying to hide the color that had burst into her cheeks, she grabbed some chips. Why was she blushing? Maybe it was because her friends were watching so closely. Yes, but also because now things were different, she reminded herself. Sure, the chemistry that bounced between the two of them had always been there, but now, for the first time, love was no longer a one-way street. Things were certainly going to be more complicated than ever.
"Hi, Spike." Anya said. "Can I take your coat? And are you hungry?"
Spike looked at her like she was wacked. "Ummm, no, and not hungry really. Brought some blood with me, so I'm all set."
"Oh, ok," she replied with her chipper voice. "I'm trying to work on manners. Xander gave me a book on things I need to work on."
"Nothing to work on, pet. I like your...ways."
Anya smiled. "Thank you." She turned to Xander. "Did you hear that?"
Xander rolled his eyes. "That coming from a handicapped demon to an ex-demon."
Willow came back into the room with some extra chip dip. "Hey Spike, I didn't hear ya come in. Why don't you come help me for a second?"
Spike followed her into the kitchen, looking behind himself to make sure nobody had trailed in after them. "So, let's have it," he said, trying to keep his voice low. Anticipation gripped his dead heart. What if it was the spell that had the slayer acting all wonky toward him? Then he'd have to do the noble thing and have Willow undue it. Then what would he do?
Spike looked at Willow and noticed the joyful demeanor she had just had a moment before, was now replaced with a passive attitude. Maybe it was foreshadowing, or a hint of what she was about to say. He swallowed hard with fear that his hope was about to be popped like a little pea.
After Willow put a couple of dishes in the sink, she sat on a bar stool and laid one of her hands on an old, brown book. "Well, it took me a while to find it, but I did find the spell you were talking about."
Spike tried to read her face, to prepare himself for any bad news. But then his brain registered her next sentence had begun with, 'good news', so he tuned back into her voice.
"...is, is that the spell didn't work. He had like threee more sentences to say, plus he needed some of the demon's blood to pour over the stone. You didn't mention him having any."
Spike tried not to smile. He really did.
Willow knew then, by his smile and the way his eyes glistened, that he truly cared for her friend. She touched his hand. "Spike, that doesn't automatically mean that she loves you though. It just means if she does, it's because she wants to."
Spike nodded to say he understood her, then followed her back in and took a seat by Buffy, who was fidgeting with a throw pillow. He let himself recline into a relaxed position. No need to let the girl know everything in him was tight with excitement and heightened hope. His mind jumped around trying to figure out why she had been so much more caring toward him, if it wasn't the spell. Could she really have changed that much in the time he had been gone? He wanted to believe she could have, and maybe she actually had reasoned that her feelings were in fact feelings of lo--. 'No, hold on there mate, no need to let your boat of hope float just yet,' Spike reminded himself. 'Don't cast your line, till you're sure the girl is willing to bite.' He! He mused at his analogy, cause he knew the girl liked to bite.
Dawn smiled at the two and decided to have a little fun. "So, Spike, what's with the bag? Spending the night?"
This took Spike a little off guard. Buffy had asked him to come over, but what had made him think he was staying? "Ummm...I just, just thought-"
Tara piped up. "I told him he could bring his laundry over, anytime he felt the need."
Spike smiled mentally. Saved by the witch.
Xander gave a short, sharp laugh. "So, in other words, we won't see him very often."
"Very funny, Harris."
Tara was definitely the nice one of the group. Her face was gleaming as she spoke to him once more. "So, still having those cramps, Spike?"
"Cramps?" asked Buffy, looking confused.
"Ah, yeah." Spike said. "I've been fine, thanks."
"So, you've found out the cause?" Oh, this was pretty funny, Tara thought to herself. Spike was squirming all right.
Spike grabbed a buffalo wing and shoved it in his mouth so he wouldn't have to answer.
Tara got up, but kept talking. "Did you try ice like I suggested? I heard it can make them go away pretty fast, but I also heard if you stretch it out and rub it with something warm, it tends to feel better."
"What are you talking about?" asked Dawn.
"Nothing," came Spike's fast reply.
"Oh," Dawn said, then grabbed a DVD. "Anyone wanna watch?"
Buffy started picking up the mess around her. "No. It's getting late."
Dawn grabbed a Fortune 8 Ball off the shelf from behind her. Fine, if everyone wanted to sit around like bumps on a log and leave her out of their mysterious blabbering, she'd lighten things up. She started to shake it, but then Anya grabbed it out of her hand.
"What's this?" Anya asked, eyeing the ball curiously.
"Obviously you need to work on not being grabby. It's rude."
"It's rude? How so? Does it say bad things?"
Dawn rolled her eyes. "No, it tells your fortune. You ask a question, shake it, and then read what it says in that little window."
"Oh...ok,' Anya said with childish enthusiasm. "Do you see lots of money in my near future?" She shook it and then looked in the window. "It says, 'maybe.' Well, that's not good." She shook it again, but Dawn said she couldn't do that, unless she asked a different question.
Anya looked at Xander and then down at the ball again. "Will I have an orgasm tonight?"
Dawn grabbed it out of Anya's hand. "Ewww...I don't want to know the answer to that."
Everyone gave a small chuckle. Dawn decided to play it up. "Will Buffy?" she asked, and then began to shake the ball.
Buffy jumped to her feet, embarrassed. "Give me that." She took it from her sister.
Dawn crossed her arms. "It's not like we don't all know about Spike, Buffy."
Buffy turned toward Xander, than Willow and Tara, questioning them with her eyes. They all shrugged innocently. How the heck had her sister found out?
Spike was astounded that they all knew. 'Bout time Goldilocks admitted that she tasted the porridge,' he thought, then wondered if she had also admitted she liked it. Chances were more in his favor now, and he winked at Buffy when she noticed his smug smile.
"Will Dawn be going to bed now?" Buffy asked the ball. "Oh, surprise, surprise, it says, 'most definitely.'"
"Ah! You didn't even shake." Dawn complained.
"I don't have to. I have the infinite knowledge of when you are about to bring your ass upstairs."
Dawn reluctantly said goodnight to everyone, and headed up to her room.
Tara stopped her. "Wait. Buffy, Will and I were just talking. How about you let us take Dawn to a late night movie. It will give you some time alone."
"Oh, Buffy, can I?" Dawn squealed.
Buffy knew Tara meant alone with Spike. The thought made her heart go all crazy again, but it was a good kind of crazy. "Ok." Being around him may be a little less uncomfortable when they weren't around. She only hoped she didn't regret her decision.
Willow got up and grabbed her jacket. "We'll try not to be out real late," she said to Buffy, with a wink. "Xander, don't you have that thing to do?" she asked him, trying to emphasize her question by making certain facial expressions.
"Thing?" asked Anya, clearly not getting the hint.
Xander patted her knee. "Yeah, that thing, remember? That we have to do tonight."
Anya's eyebrows met in confusion, then relaxed, as she seemingly understood. She leaned in toward him, but was still audible to the others. "Ooooh, that thing that we are not supposed to talk about in front of Dawn. Sex, right? "
"Ah, guys, I'm right here." Dawn said, befuddled by Anya's lack of common sense.
"Oh, right." Anya said as she jumped up from her sitting position, pulling Xander up with her. She made her cutest face at him. "That's so sweet, you told them ahead of time we couldn't stay late cause you wanted to get me home in bed..."
"An." Xander said sternly, pulling her out the door. "See ya later, Buff."
Buffy could only stand still as everyone scurried around her, grabbing their belongings, and picking up left-over food as quickly as possible. Since when did Xander want her to be alone with Spike? If her mind hadn't of been so busy digesting the fact that she was once again feeling the girlish giddiness that she had lost long ago, she may in fact think more in depth about the perplexing change in the relationship between her only two guy friends. But for now, it made no difference. Who was she to challenge a good twist in fate, anyhow?
Dawn gave Buffy a quick kiss on the cheek. "See you later. Bye."
Buffy closed the door behind her friends, and then went to sit down by Spike. Her hands roamed over her skirt and then came to a rest, folded in her lap. Why was she so nervous? It wasn't like he was a stranger. It did all seem new to her though.
Buffy took some quick peeks at him out of the corner of her eyes. 'And look at him... all relaxed with not a care in the world. Well...wait...why is he being so quiet? Spike is never quiet.' It unnerved her. It wasn't like she didn't already know how he felt about her, so why the change of personality?' His voice startled her from her thoughts.
"Not worried about your friends being out so late?"
She gave him a crooked smile. "Oh, no. They can handle themselves. Xander will probably drop them off at the movies, and then they will either get a taxi, or bum a ride from someone they know. Dawn usually runs into people she knows there."
He turned to face her more. "No patrolling tonight?" 'At least that would give my hands something to do besides itch to grab you,' he thought.
"No. I don't think I'm up to it. Tomorrow night for sure though." Buffy got up and started looking at the things around the living room, like she hadn't seen them a million times already. Pictures, nick-knacks, books, her reflection...wait...was that a misplaced hair? She smoothed it back, hoping he didn't notice.
"So," she said, trying to steady her heartbeat when she looked at him. "Want to go sit out on the porch with me?" It was too quiet in the house. At least outside the breeze or a car going by would fill in some of the quiet moments. What was that called? Comfortable silence? Echk, this was not comfortable at all. It was more like, 'I feel like I'm going to puke, and why did I let them leave me alone with this...this...totally hot...'
"Buffy?" Spike asked, concern evident in his voice.
"Huh?" She looked up from the piece of pizza crust she had been studying. 'Oh God, he just caught me daydreaming. Way to go, Miss Smoothy Pants.' "Yeah? What?"
"I said I'd like to."
"Huh?" asked Buffy once again. 'What did I ask him to do?' Buffy tried going over the last minute in her head. 'Did I say something out loud while thinking...of his yummy...'
"What did I ask you to do...with me?"
"Buffy, are you ok?" he asked as he went to touch her forehead to see if her fever was coming back. She looked kind of clammy.
Buffy jumped back at his touch. "I'm fine. Just a little sick to my stomach I guess. Probably just something I ate."
"You asked me to sit outside with you."
"Yes. Yes, I mean I would like that. You, me, sitting."
Spike looked at her through narrowed eyes, then shook his head. "Come on, then."
They went out and sat on the top step. Spike pulled out a cigarette. He was quite nervous himself, and if he dared guess so, Buffy was also. It was kind of funny seeing the slayer reduced to a stuttering mess, all because she was alone with him. And to think, this moment was finally here, the moment he knew that Buffy may have finally shifted on her pedestal and looked at him eye-level. But what did this mean? She just looked at him as a friend? An equal friend, but nothing else? He wanted to believe her fidgeting fingers, and darty eyes, were a hint of something more.
"Buffy, haven't been out here since..."
"Since you left."
"Buffy, I'd never leave you. That...that was a last resort. But don't think of it as leaving, think of it as just giving you space." He touched her head gently, pulling her hair out of her face. He slid the pad of his thumb down her check, then hooked his finger under her chin to turn her eyes toward him.
Buffy couldn't look down any longer, and lifted her eyes to his cool-blue ones. Something within her flared, and she felt like everything around her had fallen away. "I missed you."
Spike pulled his hand away and just let himself sink further into her doe eyes. "I missed you, too."
"I missed you during patrolling, mostly. I got used to you tormenting me with your snarky remarks." Buffy smiled and looked back down at her hands. "And watching you fight. The way you move...it's incredible"
"In what situation, luv?" Spike asked, obviously enjoying the opportunity to tease her.
"Hey guys." A voice came, and the two looked up to see Clem walking toward them. Buffy was glad of the interruption.
"Hi Clem, what's going on?" asked Buffy.
"Thought I may find you here, Spike. What's up with the blonde nut at your place?"
Spike rolled his eyes. Just what he needed to come up. "Harmony."
"Harmony?" Buffy asked, more than curiosity stabbing at her.
"Yeah, Harmony." He saw the questions in her eyes. "When I went home earlier, she was there. Guess she was running away from some blokes, and stopped by to say hi."
Clem sat down on the grass. "Well, I was staying there, like you said I could, and she just shows up out of the blue and tells me to leave. Says she's staying there now. And the nerve she has; she sent me out the door without a chance to get any of my snacks. Oh, and my movie. Now it's going to be overdue and then I'm-"
"Clem, don't worry about it. You can get your stuff tomorrow."
Clem didn't stop. "And the nightmares I'll be having. She had so much skin showing."
Buffy's head was reeling. Harmony, staying at his place? Why? 'Oh, like I don't know the answer to that.'
Buffy stood up. "Ah, ya know, I'm not feeling too well, and so I think I'm going to head to bed. You guys have a nice night. I'll be seeing you, Spike." She tried to hide her anger. How could he say he loves her and then fuck that blonde, empty-headed twit. Well, then again, he hadn't said he loved her in quite some time, so maybe he no longer did.
Buffy shut the backdoor behind her and ran up to her room. Her bed bounced as she flung herself on top of it and buried her head in her pillow, trying to drown out the sound of her crying. Shit, this was definitely jealously she was feeling, and jealousy, she knew, was the cherry on top of her 'I'm in love with Spike' cake. This was exactly why she was scared; love involved too many feelings, and too little control.
She felt the bed move and her body tilted more to one side. Great, Spike. Her body felt ridged, and hot. Not in a good way though.
Spike touched her shoulder. "Buffy. I'm sorry. It was hard to get Clem to leave." He tried pulling her up. "Buffy."
"Go away, Spike."
"Dammit, Buffy. What the hell is your problem?" Spike asked, his temper flaring. He got up and started pacing.
Denial Buffy, 'I hate the world' Buffy, and 'I'm going to stake you' Buffy, he had experience with. But this new jealous version of Buffy he had no idea how to deal with. Did it take his usual insightful, strait up self, or a softer side? He didn't know.
"My problem?" she sat up, tears falling down her face, which was now a flustered red.
Spike sat back down. "Don't cry." He said softly, wiping her tears away. "I don't know what I did or said wrong. If it's Harmony, don't be upset over that."
"Yeah, like I don't know what you two were doing, while I was sitting here waiting for you." She spit the words out at him.
Spike couldn't help but smile at that comment. Maybe he was heading in the right direction after all. "Didn't know you'd care, slayer."
Buffy's mouth fell open. He didn't want to hear whatever was going to come screeching out of it anytime soon. He knew how mad she could get. "Buffy, I didn't do anything with her. She wanted to. Well, I should say, thought she had to, in order to get me to let her stay there. I explained to her that that was the old me, and that she could stay there tonight, but had to be gone by morning."
Buffy raised an eyebrow. "The old you?"
Spike leaned in closer. "Yes, the me before I fell in love with you." He touched her nose with the tip of his finger, to lighten the mood.
"I feel like such a doof." She said, making a little pout lip.
She believes me? That wasn't so hard. Guess that means she trusts me, too, Spike thought with wonder. Wow. Spike looked at the girl he had loved for so long. Her sudden onslaught of shyness and her trembling lips made her irresistible. He moved in and gently pressed his lips to hers. At first he thought he felt a slight resistance and didn't know whether to back off, but then he felt her hands pull him closer. He cupped the side of her face, and used his other hand to hold her against him. Buffy moaned his name, and he reacted by pushing her back onto the bed.
Buffy let her hands roam over his back, feeling the muscles as they jumped beneath his skin with every moment. His full weight was on top of her, except for this chest, which was slightly raised, due to his arms holding him above her. His lips felt cool and soft against hers, although at the same time, it was an extremely intense kiss, full of emotion. She couldn't stop saying his name, anytime he allowed her a breath. 'If I wasn't in Heaven before, then I sure am now,' she thought.
This was different than before, somehow. It seemed untainted and not controlled by lust. Yes, the attraction was still there, the deep wanting, the hungry touching, but it was...ok. And she knew it was because of her. She finally had her heart in place and in check. Free. That is how she felt.
"Spike?"
"Hmmm...Yeah, Buffy?" He asked between the nibbles he was placing on her throat.
"Just incase you are wondering-"
Spike stopped, and looked at her. His heart almost beat with hope.
Buffy looked into his eyes."I love you. I'm in love with you, Spike."
"Finally came to your senses, did ya, luv?" Spike said, teasing, but then let the impact of her words hit him.
Her face slightly twisted, and he noticed she was getting a little teary eyed. He closed his own eyes for a moment and then placed a kiss on her forehead. His eyes met up with hers again, right after. "Still love you, as always." Swallowing, for some reason, had just become harder to do.
"I know," she said, affectionately touching his face. It felt good to know that, instead of questioning him, or accusing him of it not being real. How she must have hurt him all those times.
"Spike, I'm sorry for any time I hurt you."
Spike didn't say anything, but the expressions that washed over his face told her that that meant a lot to him. He went back to kissing her, and she let herself relax once more in his arms. The moment he had contact with her body, she swore it felt so good; she wanted to claim it was on some kind of spiritual level.
His lips pulled at hers and his familiar taste brought back a flood of memories. How she loved his smell, and the way he touched her like he had no business doing so. She supposed he still felt that way, and would take him some time to get used to the idea she felt him worthy.
Things were getting pretty hot, but Buffy wasn't sure if she was ready to take it any further. "Spike, I don't think that-"
"K, luv... believe me, just holding you against me is a blessing. Well, if a vampire could be blessed, that is." Spike pulled her closer and she snuggled up against him, her head resting on his chest.
Buffy thought for a moment. "You are stuck with me, you know."
"And I wouldn't have it any other way, but I'm sure, given our history, you already guessed that." Spike rolled onto his side and ran his fingers through her hair. "If any bloke messes with you, I'll snap off each of his fingers, one by one."
"Oh, how sweet." She said, sarcastically. Actually, while his cocky attitude was one of the things that gave him such an allure, she was glad he also had a sweet side. Even if he expressed it rather oddly at times. She smiled to herself, and then thought during the silence that followed.
"What are you thinking about?" asked Spike, his fingers stroking the outside of the arm she had leisurely hung over his stomach.
"Just wondering about the future."
"Hmmm...and what are you wondering?"
Buffy sighed. "Can you promise me everything is going to be ok?"
Spike tilted his head, trying to look at her. "I'll take that as a joke, Buffy."
Buffy laughed a little, not caught off guard by that comeback. She knew he couldn't.
Spike moved his fingers down her arm once more and then threaded them with hers. " I can't promise you tomorrow, let alone the future. Unforeseen circumstanced love to muck up promises, luv."
"Was that supposed to make me feel better?"
Spike bit his lip, playfully, before doing the same to hers. He kissed her sweetly. "I'm devoted to you, Buffy, I'm not going anywhere. I love you and you love me. That's all there is. That's all we need."
Buffy felt content for the first time since she could remember. She let herself take in the feeling of his body so close to hers, and his arm protectively holding her close. Here he was, in her bed, her room, her house. Something about the security and certainty she felt at that moment made her relax into the first stage of sleep.
TO BE CONTINUED...