alemembers1

Landru - The history of Landru is a bizzare and sordid one. Diablo 2 still isn't out, the levels of stupidity on the Diablo suggestion forums have reached critical mass. Most of the old members have been lost. Incubus reX has long since disappeared, claiming he was going to California to claim the head of GFrazier. In desperation, Pixie and Dixie enter the debauching world of mouse porn. Even the members of INFERNO have moved onto Icewind

Pixie and Dixie - Though Pixie and Dixie claim that their long successful career in show business ended when their agent screwed them out of their deal, we have recently learned they were fired by Hana Barbara for threats against their co-star. "They scared me," said Mr. Jinx in a candid interview. "They said they were gonna fuck me up and I believed them. Sure, they're adorable on camera, but backstage...I still can't get the

nightmares out of my head (sob)."

Pixie and Dixie soon sunk into drink, and were thought lost, until they resurfaced later, firm disciples of Farnam's Way. They now claim their only purpose in life is to spread the message of frothy goodness; however, this source has learned that they still maintain unsavory connections with a Hong Kong cheese ring. "They're so cute, and they say the darndest things," says Mounopano, ALE's resident mad scientist, "But man, once they get a few thimbles of whiskey in them, watch out."

Dale. With his last moments of sanity slipping away, Mounopano creates a massive robot to go back in time and try to stem the tide of idiocy before it gets out of control. He makes it run on a fusion reactor of beer molecules, and names it Landru. For awhile, Landru follows his mission, confounded when people call him a 'bot.' It is only when Landru succumbs to peer pressure and tries alcohol that his embedded memories return, and he joins ALE. He has become a very respected member (owning to his giant plasma cannons). He is also a rather bitter member, owning to the fact that it was a fleshy meat ball like Mouno who created him. Of course, he continues his prime directive, believing that once his mission is completed, he will cease to exist and will travel to a peaceful oblivion. He also occassionally tries to murder Mouno, for bringing him into a world so full of idiots. Naturally, Pixie and Dixie are also trying to murder Mouno, after they found out that in their alternate future, they became millionaires off the royalties of their hit porn movie. "Meeces Peeces." Landru's most often heard quote besides "another moron with an inane post," is, "Yeah? Well I can shoot fire and turn into a god damned jet, what can you do?"

Incubus reX - No one in ALE really gets Incubus reX. When I inquired how he joined, Shaidar's only response was, "I don't know, he just sort of stumbled in one night brandishing a rusty ballpeen hammer, and threatening that if we didn't give him a drink he'd start tearin' da shit down. He seemed like good ALE material."

Incubus seems to live for mocking people. "Oh, he's down right mean sometimes," Shaidar said later, "I remember when Optimus found out that the deed for the Brooklyn Bridge was a fake. Poor guy, he just cried and cried." Incubus reX will occasionally add valuable knowledge to a conversation before slipping back into his usual state of bitterness. Most of the ALE members just laugh and say, "That's our Incubus," to which his response is usually, "Shut your damn cake holes!"

When I inquired into Incubus reX's past, surprisingly, Pixie and Dixie shared some facts. "He's wanted by InterPol," said Pixie. "Yeah, for impersonating a rabbi," interjected Dixie. "Really, that does not seem to be a serious crime," I responded. "Well, it wasn't until he started doing circumcisions," Dixie shuddered involuntarily, "Let's just say he was ...undercutting the competition." Incubus reX's current mission in life involves "figuring out how to get Big Brother off my back" and "getting a god damn opera written about me."