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| ALEe Members |
| Billy Boney - After his harrowing feats in the Caribbean, Billy was forced out of the swashbuckling career by more progressive minded pirates like Black Beard and Long John. "Yaargh!" says Billy, "I could've mopped the floor withthe lot of them, but they all had their ISO 9000 compliancy, and O.S.H.A. was gittin on my arse." William Boney decided it was time to retire form the business and grounded his ship. Luckily for him, he grounded near the ALE pub, and has become a member, primarily because he |
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| Dark Magus - Dark Magus is one of the most powerful magicians in the world. Unfortunately for the world, he is also its biggest drunk. Drinking and magic do not work well together. Aside from turning himself and other various ALE members into farm animals, he has often inadvertently opened portals to hell, created mutant man-eating sea urchins, and worst of all, resurrected PK dwarves. The other ALE members take it in stride, with only the occasional comment from Incubus or a |
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| tek-missle from Landru. Bigun, however, considers Dark Magus the best thing that ever happened to him (owning to his extensive collection of pornographic tarot cards). "He is after all, the only one here who can magically pull a keg of beer out of his hat," said Cronus. "Yeah, and besides," interjected Pixie, "We've put up with far worse stuff coming out of Mouno's lab." Dark Magus's most often heard quote is "Dammit, I'm a magician, you call me wizard one more time, I'll kick you in the nuts!" |
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| "likes a good sea grog." Many other ALE members were thrilled to see him come, especially when he started burying treasures around the pub. "We were really happy to see him come," says Shaidar, "Until we found that his 'treasure' consisted of only old TV guides, and Junior Scholastic magazines. The bastard had done all the word searches, in pen no less!" Billy now makes money in his part time jo of making illegible maps to his various hoards, and scaring old ladies and children with grisly pirate stories, most of which involve him dying in the end. |
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| Anonymous). "What I don't understand is, if he's against all these stereotypes, why where that goofy green cloak, and carry that long bow all the time," said Shaidar. "Its part of our fucking culture moron, do people automatically expect you to go put on a turban and chant just because you're a prophet?" responded Veldrane. "But I do where a turban, and I do chant a lot," Shaidar cut back. Then Veldrane began screaming: "Down with the oppressor!" which basically ended the interview. |
| Veldrane - Veldrane is the most activist members of ALE, championing his cause for Elves and Elf Advancement everywhere. "I am sick of stereotypes," says Veldrane, "Everyone thinks we either prance around making toys and fixing shoes, or we hide out in forests smoking dope and talking to trees. Well, I'm here to tell you, that's not true!" Veldrane is an active member of of N.A.A.E.P (National Assn for Advancement of Elven Peoples) and the B.E.A (Big Ears |