|
|
With the beginning of every year, people everywhere resolve to do something over the year to better themselves, even if they resolve not to resolve anything, therefore creating a paradox that wipes out the universe. Well, even Indigo Retina has things that he has to work on this year. Here are his top fifteen. 15) Create at least 3 more fictional characters and/or hypothetical sitcoms. 14) Discover the 119th element. 13) Make Brendan Frasier pay for all of his wrongdoings. 12) Kick ass in the supermarket line, oh yeah. 11) Only take for granted those things that expressly allow it on the package. 10) Knock off the stalking. 09) Get "Friends" cancelled. 08) Re-pitch "Friends" to NBC, only with monkeys as the twenty-something chums who get into wacky and loveable, and often guest-star-studded, situations (can you say "Monkey Clark Duncan"?!) 07) Review the movie "Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones" fairly and warmly if it kills me. 06) Give new meaning to the word "damnfastic" 05) Write at least 2 strongly-worded letters to the House Sub-Committee on Foreign Affairs, because they like that sort of thing. 04) See at least one movie about time travel this year, attempt to create actual time machine so that I can go back and erase existence of said time travel movie(s). 03) Replace MSNBC's Chris Matthews (of "Hardball" fame) with silverback gorilla to see if anyone notices. 02) Remember to take into account the O'Reilly Factor 01) Finish the "Election of 2020" column before the actual Election of 2020 happens. Well, there you have it.
|
