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Dispatches
from the End of Western Culture
We see them everyday. Little news stories that make us shake our head and say "Have we as a culture sunk that low?" The inevitable answer? Yes. Yes we have. Here at Indigo Retina' Site O' Stuff, we thought it might be a good idea to document Western culture's final death throes by taking actual articles and excerpts from articles off of various news websites (because we don't read regular print) and show to you, the reader, what a sad sad state we are actually in. We give you: Dispatches from the End of Western Culture. Enjoy. Airline Halts Plan for Lip-Shaped Urinals Mon Mar 22, 7:57 AM ET NEW YORK (Reuters) - Virgin Atlantic Airways on Friday scrapped plans to install bright-red urinals shaped like women's open lips at New York 's John F. Kennedy International Airport , saying it had received complaints they were offensive. "Virgin Atlantic was very sorry to hear of people's concerns about the design of the 'Kisses' urinals to be fitted into our clubhouse at JFK Airport . We can assure everyone who complained to us that no offense was ever intended," Virgin spokesman John Riordan said in a statement.  Riordan said the British company received several dozen complaints from people and groups including the National Organization for Women after its plans for the urinals had been made public. NOW had posted a message on its Web site urging members to complain to Virgin chief Richard Branson. "I don't know many men who think it's cool to pee in a woman's mouth, even a porcelain one," said NOW President Kim Gandy on the group's Web site. The urinal, designed by a Dutch company, was the idea of a female designer. Riordan said Virgin was surprised by the negative reaction to the plan, part of designs for the lounge, built to pamper first-class customers. McDonald's Fries Cost $10M NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - McDonald's Corp. said it would pay $10 million to Hindu, vegetarian and other groups more than a year after a Seattle lawyer sued the fast-food chain, alleging it failed to disclose the use of beef flavoring in its French fries. The world's largest restaurant chain said it "sincerely apologizes to Hindus, vegetarians and others" for improperly describing its fries and hash browns sold in the United States as vegetarian after it began using vegetable oil to help reduce cholesterol in the early 1990s. McDonald's first apologized for "confusion" about beef flavoring used in the fries in May 2001 after Seattle lawyer Harish Bharti sued the company, accusing the chain of deception in its claims of cooking fries in 100 percent vegetable oil. At the time, company officials said a small amount of beef flavoring was added during potato processing at the plant, but that the French fries were cooked in vegetable oil at the restaurants. Oak Brook, Ill.-based McDonald's said it was not required by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration to reveal the use of beef flavoring, and that it didn't use the substance in fries sold at restaurants in India or predominantly Hindu countries. Hindus abstain from beef for religious reasons. The settlement is not the first McDonald's has paid out to customers. In August 1994 a jury found McDonald's coffee was unreasonably dangerous after a woman was burned when the coffee spilled on her lap. California Officals Seize Man's Pet Hippo SAN DIEGO, California (Reuters) -- California fish and game officials areee investigating a San Diego-area man who kept a rare 500-pound pygmy hippopotamus as a pet in his suburban backyard for at least a decade, a newspaper reported Saturday. Surprised state officials seized the female hippo, believed to be 12 to 15 years old, from Arthur Stehly, a resident of Escondido, who has more than 100 animals living on his property, including emus, peacocks, geese, goats and ducks, according to The San Diego Union-Tribune. "I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw it," state game warden Zeke Awbrey told the newspaper. "No one expects to find a giant hippo living in someone's backyard." The newspaper reported that officials were investigating Stehly for allegedly not having a permit to own a hippo. --From Indigo Retina: Yes, that's right, apparently you can actually get a hippo permit.-- It said officials seized the animal in late January after a tip from a real estate agent showing a nearby home. Neither the hippo's owner nor fish and game officials could be reached for comment. The hippo is now at a local div align=center for wild animals and would be shipped on June 1 to a refuge in Florida that houses other pygmy hippos, the newspaper said. The animals, found along streams, forests and swamps in West Africa, number between 2,000 to 4,000 in the wild. Neighbors in Escondido, about 30 miles from San Diego, said they had known about the hippo for years but had never seen it, the newspaper said. "I know he used the hippo manure on his garden," said Bill Ritcher. "It can smell pretty dang bad." Grammer takes 'Rat' role NEW YORK (AP) -- Kelsey Grammer is taking a second job in television -- as an animated rat. The "Frasier" star's production company is making a new cartoon, "Gary the Rat," that will debut on TNN next year. Grammer will provide the voice of the lead character. Gary is described as a New York attorney so evil that one day he wakes up and he's no longer human. "He becomes the most sought-after lawyer once it is discovered he is actually a rat," Grammer said Tuesday. The cable network is hoping to launch a prime-time night of cartoons next year. It has acquired the rights to "The Ren & Stimpy Show" and hopes to persuade its creator to make more episodes. Also in production is "Stripperella," a cartoon from "Spider-Man" creator Stan Lee that features Pamela Anderson as a stripper who moonlights as a superhero. ------From Indigo Retina: (On a side note, can one really be a stripper and moonlight as a superhero? Don't the two jobs have conflicting schedules. Another thing, if you're a stripper, don't you think that you would already be so morally bankrupt as to not care about crime, and hence not become a crime-fighter. (Sigh) I think too much.)------ TNN is the former Nashville Network that, since its purchase by Viacom, has repositioned itself as a network for young men. It is debuting two other new series in the fall: "Oblivious," a game show where contestants don't even know they're playing, and "Slam Ball," a basketball game played on trampolines.Britney Spears: The Video Game LONDON, England (Reuters) -- She was tipped as the new Madonna when she burst onto the music scene four years ago. Now U.S. pop singer Britney Spears is challenging Lara Croft for her cyber-babe crown. Spears has been transformed into a virtual pop princess -- complete with leather cat-suit, flowing locks and ample cleavage -- for her first assault on the video games market. Programmers at U.S. games maker THQ Inc. say "Britney's Dance Beat" offers adoring fans the chance to perform with their idol, if only in a virtual world. "Audition to Britney's most popular songs to see if you can keep up with the other dancers," the company says on its website (www.thg.com). "If you're really good, you'll get access to exclusive video and concert footage." Designed with the help of Spears, the game will be available for PlayStation 2 in May. Versions for Game Boy and Xbox will follow later in the year, the company said. Dutch Hostages Safe As Gunman Dies "Dutch public television said earlier it had received a statement from the hostage-taker in which he said he was resisting "manipulation by sellers of widescreen television sets" who were guilty of "creative nonsense." Negotiators had been in regular contact with the man, armed with an automatic weapon and a handgun, during the course of the day, police said. A case the gunman had brought into the building was being examined by a bomb squad." "The tower, which dominates the city's eastern skyline, once served as temporary headquarters for Dutch electronics firm Philips before the firm moved to another building nearby. Local television reports indicated the man may have chosen the wrong building." Virgin, Playboy Talk Content Deal "Richard Branson's Virgin Mobile is in talks with Playboy to offer customers soft porn...Mobile phone companies, which spent more than $100 billion buying high-speed mobile phone licences across Europe, are desperate to recoup much of their investment and many have come to the realisation that porn is one of the biggest successes of e-commerce." "Virgin Mobile, which has more than 1.5 million British customers, launched a range of adult services on Valentine's Day this year. Its "Flirt Alert" service allows mobile users the opportunity to send "hot" or "fun" anonymous text messages." More to come. Stay tuned!
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