Although the failure of the XFL brought a sobering blow to the supporters of extreme televised sports, several forward (or backward, depending on how you look at it.) thinking people have come up with variations of other activities that are taken to an extreme level. Let's take a look.

Extreme League Baseball (XLB)

Description:
Teams face off with spiked bats, acid-coated baseballs, and the desire to keep from striking out...permanently.

Winners get:
...to go home in one piece.

Losers get:
...several pints of blood taken from them forcibly.

Network:
UPN

Probable Sponsor(s):
Larry's Acid-Coated Baseballs Inc.
Big K-mart.

Already Outlawed in:
48 states

Extreme Miniature Golf

Description:
Players have 10 minutes to get through 18 holes with several slow, obnoxious, large families in front of them.

Winner gets:
...Free hot dog and soda in cafeteria.

Loser gets:
...to do it all over again, only this time in 5 minutes.

Network:
UPN

Probable Sponsors:
Ernest Borgnine
Modell's Sporting Goods

Already Outlawed in:
The European Union

Extreme Chess

Description:
Perhaps the slogan says it best:
"Real knights, real pawns, real rooks, real pain"

Winner gets:
Chess set signed by IBM's Big Blue.

Loser gets:
Checkmated, so to speak.

Network:
UPN

Probable Sponsors:
IBM
Milton-Bradley
The British Government.

Already Outlawed in:
Organization of American States, Australia

Extreme Accounting

Description:
Balance the budget of a small South American nation in 20 minutes or less...or else.

Winner gets:
Microsoft Office XP

Loser gets:
Microsoft Office XP

Network:
Lifetime

Probable Sponsors:
"Alliance of Extremely Financially Deficient Small South American Nations" (AEFDSSAN)

Already Outlawed in:
Member nations of the "Alliance of Extremely Well-Off South American Nations Opposed To Competition, Phew" (AEWOSANOTC, P)

XFL II: Australian Outback

Description:
16 teams form and break alliances as emotions flare in the middle of the Australian continent. Every episode, one team is shamelessly betrayed for ratings when they are voted off the continent, and in the end, the team that walked around naked most of the time will most likely win.

Winner gets:
...To leave

Loser gets:
...Torn apart by a passing kangaroo.

Network:
Sci-Fi Channel

Probable Sponsors:
The passing kangaroo
AOL-Time Warner

Already Outlawed in:
Australia

Extreme "Bob Patterson"

Description:
Bob Patterson rapes a bagel while eating Julia Roberts and killing the Pope. You heard me.

Winner gets:
A very spent bagel.

Loser gets:
A very spent Bob Patterson

Network:
ABC

Probable Sponsors:
Bob Patterson

Already Outlawed in:
All God-fearing nations

(This one courtesy of Fuv Ma' Poppin. I'm not taking the heat for this alone, no sirree.)

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