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Well loyal readers I know it 's been a while since I last wrote for my good friend Indigo Retina, but my life has undergone some significant changes. I 've been a college boy for a few months. I ended a long-term relationship over the summer, and tried to get it back. Many times. I didn't go so far as to play Peter Gabriel outside her bedroom window, but then again her father isn't John Mahoney which greatly decreases the probability that such a plan would succeed. At this juncture, I 've accepted that we've grown apart and while high school was fun, we're both ambitious young adults with a geographic handicap. I may not be completely over her, fo r my heart still skips a beat whenever she signs online. So, I either have a heart defect or still bear a torch for that once-special someone. But this is an obscure humor website, not a live journal (seriously, dorkiest youth trend EVER. And I remember s lam books.)

I suffered another loss within the past year. Many will argue it 's not as significant, but I nevertheless lost my favorite television show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer . After watching religiously for about five years, Buffy went off the air last May. I said goodbye to clever dialogue, hilarious surprisingly deep British vampires, sexy nerds, metaphorical demons, and some of the best drama ever seen on television despite airing on the quality wasteland of UPN. Besides being angry they killed off my favorite characters (Spike and Anya for those of you keeping count), I was mostly satisfied by the finale, and thought the show had reached its natural end. I went back about my life as if nothing was wrong. Flash forward like , 7 or 9 months. I sat down th is weekend and watched a good portion of season 3 of Buffy on DVD. I caught an episode of it s sister show, Angel last week. And damnit if it all didn 't come pouring back. I've been in denial about how much I miss that show. Just like it sometimes pains me to think back on my senior prom, I was pained to think about the brilliant episode where Spike tells Buffy about the two slayers he killed ( "Fool For Love", episode 7 of Season 5, written by Doug Petrie, directed by Nick Marck, for those of you still keepi ng count). Both happy memories, but they both belong to those damnable closed folds of time.

While simultaneously mourning both the loss of a girl and a television show (which, oddly enough, was about a girl), I could no longer avoid the realization that the two both have so much in common that it 's ridiculous, nay, amazing! Over the summer, Indigo could sense my pain (though he never stated it outright) and lent me his 24 DVDs. I was skeptical at first, but fell in love with Jack Bauer and his sexy real time a dventures. I feared the vicious Ira Gaines, laughed at Dennis Hopper 's accent, and fell into a major depression after watching Teri die at Nina's hands. I became addicted, and gobbled down the first two seasons on the miraculous DVD format. I am proud to s ay I became a regular viewer about 4 months ago. I now await each week 's installment of 24 as I once awaited Buffy the Vampire Slayer .

With my first girlfriend, I got to have a lot of those deliriously happy care-free " we want to be together forever" exp eriences. I met her family and though I was initially intimidated, I grew to like them. We spent a lot of Saturdays playing Mario Kart, listening to AFI, not a care in the world. We shared three formals, eight movies, and countless hugs. We made out in a barn, for chrissakes. If that isn 't a scene from a montage sequence in a coming-of-age movie, I don't know what is. Likewise, Buffy was the first episodic drama I ever watched. It introduced me to allegory, recurring characters, plot arcs, revelatory flashb acks, and many other genre conventions I 've come to love. Don't get me wrong; 24 's great. I'm a little more secure in my masculinity now that I watch a show with secret agents and guns, but it will never take the place of the Chosen One and her rag-tag tea m of Wiccas and librarians. Similarly, I will date again. There will be other girls I buy flowers for and give AFI mix CDs to, but none of them will ever flash me the same grateful smile she once did. I may have great sex with 24 , but I 'll never have the s ame emotional satisfaction as when a 7th season episode of Buffy features a cameo from one of my favorite characters from the 3rd season.

(Humor me, readers, take a stemmed glass and fill it with a clear bubbly liquid.) Here's to first loves, whether they be beautiful, loving humans or hour long dramas with a strong ensemble cast and complex plot arc