|
|
|
Le Pen Is Mightier
Than The Sword
Recently, the French people
were shocked to find that they had voted for right wing extremist Jean-Marie
Le Pen and had allowed him to beat Socialist Prime Minister Lionel Jospin
in the first of two rounds of presidential voting in France. May
5 marks the second round of votes, and because he knew he'd probably get
trounced thoroughly by current President Jacques Chirac, Le Pen agreed
to do an interview with a little known French current affairs website named
Indigo Retina's Site O' Stuff. That's right, we've got the French
xenophobe right here and boy is a mouthy one. Here is a transcript
of that interview.
IRSOS: Sir, I'm not sure that'll help your campaign. LP: Let's face it Didier, my boy. The French people got completely trashed last week and voted for me. At first I was in denial of this fact, but then I remembered I was in France. IRSOS: If you hate the people of France so much, why do you want to be their President. LP: I think that's pretty self-explanatory. IRSOS: ...........how? LP: Because I say so. IRSOS: Moving on, you've said you would pull France out of the European Union should you become President. What the hell's your deal? LP: Have you SEEN the Euro?. Clown money is what it is. IRSOS: Clown money? LP: Yeah, you know, money used by clowns to buy....I don't know....whipped cream pies and small but spacious cars. IRSOS: Is that the only reason? LP: But of course not. I also don't feel like dealing with that little (expletive deleted) monkey (Spanish Foreign Minister Josep) Pique. Thinks he's so great with his country currently holding the EU presidency. Well, I think not. IRSOS: Now, a spokesman for (British Prime Minister) Tony Blair has said about the upcoming election "We trust the French people to reject extremism of any kind." (At this point, Le Pen went into hysterical laughter) LP (wiping tears of laughter from his eyes.) Oh, Didier, you should warn me before subjecting me to that kind of hilarity. IRSOS: What are you implying? LP: No extremism in France? That's like saying no ignorance in America. IRSOS: Now, wait a minute... LP: Don't get me wrong, Mr. Sassufit, but France and extremism have been brother and sister for quite some time. Take the French Revolution. Hell, take your pick. We've changed consitutions almost every 30 years since 1789. IRSOS: You've got a point, but moving on. You've said that you would get rid of all foreigners, most especially those from North Africa. How do you respond to accusations that you are a xenophobic maniac?
LP: A miscalculation. IRSOS: Man lands on the moon. LP: Something to do before "Star Wars: A New Hope" IRSOS: The ancient Romans arrive in Gaul, modern-day France. LP: An invasion. IRSOS: The Normandy Invasion, June 6, 1944 LP: A tea party. IRSOS: The Crusades LP: "Must See TV" IRSOS: The French Revolution LP: May 5, 2002.if I win. IRSOS: No doubt. Some interesting answers in there. LP: You know under my system, you as an American journalist wouldn't be here right now. IRSOS: This interview is over. Quite a politician, this one is. He just throws out the minority vote altogether. That's a new approach, I'll give him that. It's like a Grand Wizard in the KKK running for President of the US and expecting the African American, Jewish, and Catholic vote. Oh, those crazy Francers!
|
