Steven from "Undeclared"	Marshall from "Undeclared"	Ron from "Undeclared"	Dr. Frasier Crane from "Frasier"	Tom Green (in anything)
	Woody Allen	Darren Silverman in "Saving Silverman"	Ben Sobel in "Analyze This"
		As long as we're at it, the entire cast of "Off Centre"

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Wow, that turned out meaner than we thought it would.

Oh well. 

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And now, a haiku for Valentine's Day 

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Saint Valentine's Day
Would be way way better if
monkeys ran the show.

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And now, a special Valentine's Day message
from Principle Weatherby 

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Sacrifice.  That's what it's all about.  War is about sacrifice

Oh, wait, is this the Valentine's Day special?

Damn.

Umm...well, here goes folks.  As you know, the ladies are all over me.  They love my moose antler hat and my wacky Hawaiian shirt.  So, you may be thinking, "how does he do it?"  Well, my friends, I will tell you. The following is the list of essentials for any successful lady-killer.

1) Appearance--You must appear, and you must have matter.
    A) Mousse
            --No, not the chocolate kind, silly-willyy!<
    B) Shined shoes
            --Or boots, if you happen to live south oof the Mason-Dixon Line (Where's the love, South Carolina!?)    
    C) An Audi
            --Don't worry you Volkswagen owners
           --Toyotas are fast becoming acceptable foor taking your date from Arby's to minigolf.
    D) Bowtie:
            --Crotch position preferred, but neck is accceptable.
2) Diction--Huh huh, I said "dic"
3) Excellent timing
    A) Wit is preferred, dry wit is recommended.
4) Close personal ties to a hot British pop-star
    A) Members of or anyone affiliated with S Club 7 not eligible.  Offer void in Kansas.
5) Close personal ties to an American pop-star
    A) Can you date without personal ties to an American pop-star?  Of course, but I wouldn't recommend it.
    B) Eurthymics not included.

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