GREAT WISDOM
> > > > > >
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
> > > > > >
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
> > > > > >
3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
> > > > > >
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
> > > > > >
5. No one is listening until you fart.
> > > > > >
6. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.
> > > > > >
7. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
> > > > > >
8. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a bad example.
> > > > > >
9. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
> > > > > >
10. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
> > > > > >
11. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
> > > > > >
12. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
> > > > > >
13. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat & drink beer all day.
> > > > > >
14. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
> > > > > >
15. Don't squat with your spurs on.
> > > > > >
16. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
> > > > > >
17. Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.
> > > > > >
19. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
> > > > > >
20. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it in your pocket.
> > > > > >
21. Timing has an awful lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
> > > > > >
22. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
> > > > > >
23. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side & a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
> > > > > >
24. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
> > > > > >
25. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
> > > > > >
26. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
> > > > > >
27. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
> > > > > >
28. We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.