Part 17
The next morning Jack cursed under his breath as he tossed the burnt toast into the kitchen sink. He picked up his cup of coffee and noticed a slight shake in his hand, but he wasn't surprised. He felt like shit, so naturally his body was fatigued as well. Closing his eyes he knew he needed more rest but after getting home from Daniel's so late, he laid in bed, tossing and turning - sleep evading him completely. He reached for the phone on the kitchen wall and dialed the base. He was put through to Hammond and told him, swiftly, that he wouldn't be in that day and promised to arrange a house-call with Doctor Frasier so that she could assess his fitness for duty tomorrow.
After replacing the receiver he put two more pieces of bread into the toaster and then stood over it, making sure it didn't burn again. He adjusted the tilt of his head when the pressure behind his eyes grew too much then he twisted and sneezed loudly, before groaning and rinsing his hand under the stream from the faucet. The toast popped up and he tossed the crispy bread onto the counter but he'd suddenly lost all appetite. His tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth and every time he swallowed it was like sharp little prickles all across the back of his tongue and down the back of his throat. Deciding he'd probably not be able to swallow the toast anyway Jack left it in favor of his hot drink, and shuffled off to bed.
With a slight cough he moved over to close his heavy drapes, enveloping the room in darkness. The only light spilling into the room was from the hallway's sunlight.
*
He was in twilight sleep when he heard someone in his house. Struggling to roll over he turned onto his side to face his door. A shadowy figure stood silhouetted in the doorway.
"Phil?" The call was raspy and weak - vocal cords too inflamed to allow proper speech.
"Jack?" The bed dipped and Jack felt a hand brush his forehead. "You're burning up, hun."
"Cold's worse.." Jack snuffled as he rubbed his face into his pillow. Philip slipped down the bed, lying beside him. Gently he brushed his fingers through Jack's hair.
"I called by last night.."
"At D'niel's.." Jack said, grimacing as he swallowed. Philip pressed his finger against his lover's dry lips.
"Shh, don't talk. It's okay, hun. Let me do the talking."
Jack closed his eyes and Philip moved his fingers to gently stroke the bristled cheek.
"I'm sorry I walked out on you. I've never done that before. It.. it was childish and I should have stayed and talked this through with you." He reached over and lightly kissed Jack's cheek. With his lips still brushing the skin, he whispered, "I love you."
There was a soft murmur from the almost-asleep man.
"And you love me, so we'll work this out, okay?" His finger trailed around the creases in Jack's ear. "I was just backed into a corner, hun. You know what it's like to be backed into a corner?" He barely paused for a response as he bit back his tears, brimming in his eyes. "It's scary. So much of what I'm going through, what I'm feeling at the moment, scares me. But please, Jack, please - don't give up on me. I love you.." He kissed his cheek again, leaving his own tears on the hot skin. Jack murmured again but he was fast asleep now and unaware of the younger man's confessions. "If being away from you these past two days has taught me anything.. it's that I can't bare the thought of living what's left of my life without you.." He trailed his finger down the crease in Jack's cheek then down the side of his throat. Jack mumbled something in his sleep as he nuzzled into his pillow.
Philip continued to trace the outline of the bulk beneath the sheet then he flattened his hand over Jack's shoulder and sipped his arm around his body to pull him into a semi-embrace. Pressing his lips to Jack's temple he trembled as he sucked back a noisy breath through his nose. "Please stay with me.." He cried softly.
He pulled back and saw that Jack was now asleep. Unsure of how much he'd heard, Philip gave a slight smile then released the sleeping man. Jack rolled onto his back and turned his head away, all the time he breathed noisily through his mouth as his nose was blocked. Philip rolled himself off the bed, wiped his sleeve across his eyes then left the room. He didn't bother to stay, instead he went straight to work.
*
When Jack woke hours later he was alone again. He turned over, wondering if he'd imagined Philip coming home at all. Flopping back down into bed, he pressed the heels of his hands onto his eyes, trying to relieve his blocked sinuses.
He had woken up because of the dream he was having. The dream started out reliving an actual conversation that they'd had, months ago, as they laid tangled together on the sofa. For Jack it was as if he was hovering over the two of them now, watching them talking together…
His heart was racing hard in his chest as he recalled that strangely calm conversation. What was making him so uptight was ‘why’ he was recalling it - now – and in so much detail.
The ending of the conversation was different in real life. When they really had this talk they kissed tenderly then Philip got up at the end of it and made them both a hot drink. In this dream… well it took a turn that he *would* have liked to have seen happen in real life…
===
The two men were snuggled together on the sofa, Jack cradling his smaller lover back against his chest. Philip played with Jack's hands, gliding his long fingers over the tanned skin as they talked.
Jack began the conversation solemnly, "You know, I was doing some reading today,.."
Phil smiled and looked back at him. "Another hard day at the office, dear?" he teased. Jack gave a slight smile but the conversation he was gearing up for left him little to be happy about.
"I did some surfing of the web.." He continued and the tone alone alerted Philip to the serious nature of the conversation.
Settling himself against the wider, softer body, Philip looked at the hand he was fondling as he mumbled, "oh, yeah?"
"I was surprised to read that being HIV positive didn't mean you had AIDS.."
Philip frowned and twisted his neck to look back at Jack again. "No, I know.."
"Oh.."
"All it means is that I've been infected with the virus HIV and I now have positive Anti-bodies to it in my blood..." he spoke softly, and Jack was amazed how calm he sounded. He shifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed the back of Phil's hand lightly, which bought a smile to the younger man's face.
"You make it sound so simple.."
Phil shifted to look at his lover more easily. Sitting up, he laid one leg across Jack's thighs and tucked his other knee to his chest so that he could lean his chin onto his knee. "Maybe I'm naive, but from my research, I could be well for many, many years..."
The older man frowned. "But you've has a cold for a very long time now..."
Philip shrugged. "So? Maybe it's hay fever. Daniel's sniffing a lot lately, too."
Jack stared at him a long moment, not wanting to bring up the fact that Philip's cold was more a nagging cough that wouldn't go away. "Maybe," he muttered and looked down at his hand that was rubbing the thigh in his lap. Philip reached forward and lifted Jack's downcast face then smiled at him.
"I'm living with HIV remember... I'm not dying of HIV and I'm certainly not dying of AIDS.."
Jack shrugged then whispered through a tight throat, "What's the difference?" Then he realized how that sounded and clarified, "I mean, between HIV and AIDS? I've done all this research and I still can't get that straight in my head.." His hand waved about by the side of his face, indicating confusion.
Philip seemed to think about that a moment then entwined his hand with the one Jack was rubbing his thigh with. He brushed his thumb across the older man's palm as he spoke, "It's quite technical..."
Jack quipped, "It's okay, I'll try to keep up!"
Phil smiled then shrugged, "Okay, well, I've got human immunodeficiency virus.." He saw the slightly glazed look in Jack's eyes and added, "or what's better known as HIV.”
Jack nodded so Philip continued, “Basically, it means that I contracted a virus, from John, that suppresses my good blood cells, my T cells.. It's killing them off, slowly but surely..."
There seemed to be no emotional involvement for Philip. Jack was amazed he could sound so calm about it, and could talk to knowledgeably on the subject, until he realized that his lover was a librarian and probably researched the disease quite thoroughly.
"So what's AIDS then?" Jack shrugged and added, "I mean I know it's that.... acquired.... Immuno.....thingy..."
Philip smiled then said, straight-faced, "That's the technical term for it, hun.."
Jack smiled then brought their joined hands to his lips again. "I knew that!"
"Us laymen know it as acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.."
Jack simply arched his brow, which made Philip laugh again. He leaned forward and placed a light kiss on Jack's lips then he pulled back. The colonel sighed before cupping the back of Philip's head with his hand and pulling him back towards him, their lips meeting and parting gently as their tongues danced together. Pulling back slowly, Jack's eyes had lost all their humor as he searched the face before him in the dim light.
"But you don't have AIDS?"
"Technically, no," Philip said, sitting back again and resting his chin on his knee once more. "AIDS is caused by HIV, because the HIV reduces the immune system down until it’s no longer effective – ergo; a ‘deficient’ immune system.. Okay?”
Jack nodded. “Immunodeficiency. Got that.”
Philip smiled gently at him. “And we know that the disease is ‘acquired’ or gained somehow – via blood or in my case, probably semen.... so it’s acquired immunodificency syndrome. and that's when AIDS occurs.."
"Pretty fine line.." the older man mumbled and Phil agreed with a shrug.
"And no doubt I'll get there - one day - but not if I look after myself now. I could live a healthy life for years, Jack. I could out live you..." he said, placing his hand over his lover's heart then he wet his lips quickly and sighed as he looked down at the tags lying over the top of the t-shirt Jack was wearing.
"I hope you do," Jack said quietly. Philip looked up into the soft brown eyes then he gave him a teary smile.
"I don't. I couldn't go on if I lost you, Jack.."
The colonel swallowed hard then reached around Phil's head and pulled him closer again, kissing his temple lightly then his cheek then his lips.
Now this is where Jack should have realized it was just a dream, for what followed did not happen in their reality. They kissed and Philip went to make them both a hot drink. The sex did not happen, nor did the conversation about ‘missing each other’ happen for back when they had this conversation they were still enjoying sex together regularly.
Jack rolled onto his side as he allowed his bleary mind the opportunity to conjure up the dream for him once more….
They both pulled into a frantic, desperate kiss - involving very roaming hands.
The younger man gasped into Jack's mouth as he felt the hand slip into the front of his pants. He sucked his stomach in to allow Jack room to touch him and he whimpered the second the seeking fingers swiped his hardening shaft. Jack sighed in return, it had been too long since they'd been intimate. The colonel's other hand quickly unfastened the jeans, giving his fingers more room to play.
Philip assisted even more by pushing his pants all the way off his rump, then awkwardly pulled them off his legs while never losing contact with Jack's mouth or tongue.
Jack heard the soft whoosh of the item of clothing hitting the carpet and he moved his hands down Philip's back and onto his bare rump. The younger man gave a thrust as the hand spread across his butt cheek and gripped him firmly.
"Jack, Please..." he whispered lasciviously as he broke the kiss, rubbing his face against Jack's mouth then ducking under the stubble-covered chin to nibble his throat lightly.
"Anything you want.." Jack mumbled in return, his voice slightly strained by the angle of his throat.
"In front of the fire," Philip said, slipping backwards off the sofa and holding his hands down to him. The colonel looked up at him, standing before him in a shirt and a sweater and no pants. He smiled as he allowed his good-looking lover to guide him off the sofa and over to the fireplace.
Philip knelt before him and Jack's hand immediately went into the long dark hair as the younger man divested him of his pants as well. Then Philip rubbed his face against the shaft like a cat marking his territory. Slowly his tongue slithered out, lapping at the still dry tip before he widened his jaw and engulfed Jack's entire cock with his mouth.
Jack enjoyed the younger mouth feasting on him for a while until the tingles across his butt and up the backs of his legs grew too intense. He knew he would come soon and wanted to give Philip some pleasure before he lost the urge. He looked down at the face tilted up at him. Philip looked so young like that, down around his groin, his lips swollen and his eyes ebony and large in the firelight. Slowly the colonel sunk to his knees, both of them ignoring the cracks as the knees bent. Jack cupped the handsome face in his hands as he smiled. "I've missed you.."
"I'm sorry..." Philip nudged his face against the hands. "I've missed you too."
Jack leaned towards him, their mouths seeking the other hungrily again. They knelt before the firelight, kissing and fondling each other through their layers of clothing while their naked shafts caressed in secret. After many breath-sapping kisses Philip pulled back, tossing his head back as he gasped lightly for air.
"Our position?" he asked and Jack smiled. It was nice to think that they had a position. He let Philip do the moving, and soon the librarian had turned away from him, his knees and calves tucked between Jack's own.
The older man placed his hands on Phil's hips, noticing how much sharper they seemed to be. The thought vanished almost immediately however as he gently pushed himself between the tightly clamped thighs.
Philip gave a soft cry as Jack's groin pressed up against his rounded butt. One of Jack's arms tightened across the narrow body, gripping Philip across the abdomen as he slowly rocked in and out from between the warmth.
Jack's head was spinning; it felt so good to be with Philip after so many weeks of no contact. He kissed the younger man's neck repeatedly while he concentrated on the incredible feelings growing within his body. Instinctually his hand came up and cradled the heavy shaft. He squeezed it tightly and felt the jerk right through Phil's body at the intimate touch. As slowly as his own rhythms were, Jack began to massage the cock until he felt the familiar twitches build within Philip.
"That's it baby.." he whispered into the little ear.
Phil turned towards the voice, "God.. Jack.. this feels so good!"
On the next thrust in, Jack rubbed his public hair against Phil's butt, knowing how much of a turn on it was for Philip to have someone behind him like that. He was rewarded with a muffled cry as Philip began to start to twitch.
"That's it babe.. give it up.." Jack said, his own voice growing unsteady.
Philip pushed back, grounding his rump into Jack's fuzzy region.
"Jack I want.. I want you to...." He gulped, his throat too dry to talk more.
"I know.. I know.." Jack whispered, his other hand slipping down the front of Philip, changing hands with the one tiring now. He knew exactly what Philip wanted. He wanted to do it to. He'd long to enter that body, to know what it felt like to be engulfed deep inside his gorgeous mate, but he couldn't risk it with a condom even. The stakes were just too high!
Philip's head rolled back and Jack covered the exposed throat in kisses as he started to twitch uncontrollably now. He bit Philip's skin lightly as he shuddered, his hand poised momentarily on the shaft, making Philip aid him with his own hand. Soon they were both shuddering out their loads, Philip's shooting out and splashing against the stone hearth while Jack's slicked the hot thighs and dripped in a white glob down the inside front of Philip's leg. The younger man reached down, scooped up the viscous fluid and sucked his fingers into his mouth as he gave a deep throaty chuckle while Jack's tongue traced down his throat. Together then knelt back, Philip effectively sitting in Jack's lap as the older man continued to kiss the back of his neck tenderly.
"Wow," Philip said with a happy laugh. "That blew my mind..!" He looked over his shoulder at his lover.
Jack raised a brow slightly. "All accomplished while we were still half dressed." His hand went to slide under Philip's top but the younger man moved away at the same moment, crawling onto his knees then standing quickly. Holding his hand down to his lover he chuckled, "Yeah, we could get away with reading the news on television dressed like this."
Jack slowly climbed to his knees, hearing their groans of protest as he stood once more. "Except I think that smear of white at the corner of your mouth might just give us away..."
Philip immediately lifted his hand to clean up the stain but he found nothing and noticed the smile on Jack's face now. With a grin he suggested, "coffee?"
Jack smirked and nodded. "Sure. Should I put my pants on or is this informal?"
Philip stepped away then groaned as he parted his legs and looked down at the matted wet hair. "Yuck!" he sighed, and then hobbled none to gracefully down to the bathroom while Jack reached for his pants.
==
Now Jack laid back in his bed, his body shaking from the exhilaration from recalling the dream and the cold wreaking havoc on his system. He rolled over and tried to fall back to sleep, hoping that he might relive the dream once more. As he lay there though, sleep evading him again, he began to wonder why his mind had dredged up that conversation. Was he trying to tell himself something? Was his sub-conscious telling him that the things that they were discussing in that dream - the very essence of their conversation - were what was wrong with their relationship now? That Philip was no longer HIV positive - but now in the stages of AIDS?
Before he could ponder that thought anymore, Jack fell asleep again.
End of part 17
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.