Part 61
It was at least half and hour later when Janet entered the room to check on her patient. Instantly she was surprised, and mortified, by the yelling between father and son who were standing in the far corner of the room, both crimson-faced and both with arms flailing about their heads as they argued passionately in a foreign language.
"Hey!" She yelled over the top of their raised voices and then, in her best authoritive voice, she hollered, "HEY!" Instantly the fighting ceased and both men looked in her direction. "What is going on in here?"
"Dr. Frasier, these are my parents," Graham said, breathless from the argument.
The flinty doctor looked over at her patient and saw his distress as he shifted his eyes onto her from above the mask.
"I'd say it was a pleasure to meet you," she said tersely as she turned back towards Jaheed, "but you've clearly upset my patient with your arguing. Would you mind taking it 'out' of this room? In fact, take it out of the hospital altogether. This is no place for squabbling!"
With brisk steps, she crossed the room to her patient. As she looked down at Phil her whole face softened considerably, an action Rosa noticed. "Hey Phil, how's it going?" She asked as she checked his monitors and readouts.
He lifted the mask from his face and mumbled, breathlessly, "Same old, same ........old." She laughed lightly then helped him back on with his mask.
"Well, you rest up and I'll be back in fifteen to check on you again." The minute she turned from him her face hardened and she glared at the two men once more before leaving without another word to them. As the door swung shut, Jaheed looked at Graham.
"See what you have caused!"
"I didn't start this, you did!" The younger man bit back tiredly.
Phil rolled his eyes to the ceiling, wishing Jack would return and throw the both of them out of the room.
"None of this would have happened if you took better care of your little brother!"
"I didn't make this happen!" Graham argued, unwilling to get into the argument again with him - mostly because it would upset Philip too much.
"You did not care for him. He was too young to leave home but he wanted to be with you!" Jaheed sneered, casting a venomous look at his elder son.
"He wanted to get away from you!" Graham muttered then looked across at his brother. Shaking his head, he stepped away from Jaheed and went to the bed. "I'm sorry. I can't stay here..."
Phil blinked slowly then closed his eyes as Graham brushed some black hair from his forehead. "I'll go for a walk. Anything you want? Anything I can get you?"
Phil held a trembling hand up, indicating for Graham to come closer. The older brother leaned down and heard the faint whisper, "Jack." He straightened up and nodded.
"I'll see what I can do. You rest! I'll be back as soon as I can."
Phil nodded slightly then started a coughing fit that had him gasping uncontrollably for air despite the mask of pure oxygen. The bronchial spasms made the machine alarm and before Graham could even turn around a nurse had rushed into the room to check on the patient. Graham held his breath as he watched his brother struggle for air. Part of him thought about contacting Jack, the other part was scared to leave Philip's room - just in case. He was rooted to the spot and as he watched the nurse deftly deal with the screaming alarm, eventually hitting it off when she was satisfied that Philip was relaxing with the increased meds. Graham looked over at his parents - huddled together also frozen at the thought that Philip was so near to death.
Tears stung the backs of Graham's eyes now as he watched the nurse gently wipe Phil's parched mouth with a damp cloth. She spoke to him in low, soothing tones and wore a gentle smile on her face while dealing with him. Carefully she eased him back against his plumped-up pillows then asked if he wanted the television on. Feebly he moved his hand to indicate no to her and she nodded before she told him she would be right outside if he needed anything. Slowly he blinked his eyes and she gave him one more gentle smile before turning and leaving the room.
Phil's family gathered around the bed, Graham on the opposite side to the parents. All three peered down at the weak man and Graham reached out to brush back some strands of black hair from Phil's eyes. Phil's eyes tracked slowly to find his brother and then they narrowed, very slightly, as he tried to give his sibling a smile. Graham's eyes filled now and the first tear - of distress, of grief and of pent up anger and frustration at their father - rolled down his cheek, splashing onto the back of Phil's parched hand resting on his chest.
Philip shifted that hand up and, despite the shakes, removed the mask enough to whisper, "Don't."
Nodding and sniffing back the rest of his tears, Graham tried to give his brother a strong smile, but it wavered on his lips before dying out completely.
"You rest up. I'll see what I can do about your request.."
Into the mask, Philip whispered, "walk.... First..."
"Okay." Graham nodded, wondering if Philip wasn't in a hurry to see Jack again because the colonel really needed the break - he'd been at the hospital since the day they brought Phil in. Daniel had been supplying Jack with his necessities and clothes, while taking his other ones home to the laundry for attention later.
Graham looked across the bed to his mother. "I'm going for a walk."
"Your brother needs you here," Jaheed told him harshly.
"My brother accepts that I need a walk," Graham said simply before going out of the room.
Philip looked up at his parents then his eyes slowly lolled shut as he rolled his head away from them. They remained at his side for a few moments before finding some seats and sitting down, prepared to play the waiting game.
*
Sam stretched back as she yawned.
"Are we keeping you up, Sam?" Daniel asked with a faint, tired smile. The blonde woman smiled as she settled into her seat again.
"Yes, as a matter of fact." She checked her watch then said, "I might go and find Janet then see if she'll finally come home.."
Jack didn't lift his face from where he was sitting, staring into his cup of coffee as he mumbled, "She's incredible.."
Sam smiled. "You're telling me?"
Jack looked at her then gave a wisp of a smile, as he said, "Preaching to the converted, aren't I?"
Sam laughed as she patted her C.O's arm. "I know what you mean though. She's a little more committed to this case than others, I must say."
"If it's too much for her," Jack started to say but Sam cut him off with, "Sir, wild horses wouldn't stop her from seeing this one through. Philip means a lot to her, did you know that?"
Jack's smile tugged sluggishly at his lips once more. "Kinda gathered that."
"And so do you," she told him. He stared into her bright blue eyes as he nodded slowly.
"Thanks, Carter.."
She gave a sad smile now, unsure how to handle the desolate man. With another quick glance at her watch she said, "Teal'c. Did you need a ride back to the mountain?"
"Yes. I do," he responded, finishing up his glass of milk.
Sam nodded then got to her feet as she said, "Okay, let's go find Janet then I'll drop you back at the base."
The large Jaffa stood up and looked at the remaining two men, sitting opposite each other at the small cafeteria table. "We will take our leave of you now."
Daniel raised his face and gave his friend a slight smile as he crinkled his eyes. "Thanks, Teal'c."
"Yeah," Jack mumbled as he finally lifted his face. "Thanks- both of you. For coming.."
Sam rubbed his shoulder before jerking her head towards the door. She and Teal'c left the others to their coffees.
*
Now Jack and Daniel remained in the empty café, drinking cold coffee and too absorbed in their own thoughts to talk.
Finally Jack leaned down, resting his head on his folded arms.
"You okay?" Daniel asked, but already knew the answer.
"You know, Danny," Jack sighed as he sat up again, "I've really been a hell of a lot better."
The anthropologist nodded empathetically.
"What am I going to do about them?" Jack moaned. "I know they're his parents and they have every right to be here-"
"But now you'll never get time with him alone.."
"Exactly."
"Well, given the circumstances.." Daniel started then suddenly lifted his eyes to the ceiling when Jack gave him a quick glare. True, it might have been tactless to bring up the fact that Philip was near death, but then again, it was the crux of the argument too. With a sigh, Daniel continued, "Given the circumstances, maybe telling them the true nature of your relationship might not get the same reaction.."
"You're kidding, right? You saw that man in there. I thought he was going to rip Grae's head off! What the hell were they fighting about?"
"Graham hates his father talking to him in Arabic, especially around his friends."
"Why?"
"From what I was told his father used to speak in Arabic in front of all his school friends when he'd bring them home. He'd ridicule them and laugh about them while they were in the same room as him."
"Nice. Pulled wings off flies too, no doubt."
"One night Graham and a boy he did have certain feelings for - I think his name was Simon - they were in his room, but they weren't doing anything - when Jaheed burst into the room and started abusing the both of them for being gay. Apparently he called Simon lots of names and the kid was so scared out of his wits that he ran away. Apparently that was the first night Jaheed ever hit him, but it was so bad that he couldn't sit down the next day."
"Jesus!" Jack hissed.
"Next day at school Simon wouldn't talk to him and he and his friends teased Graham for being Gay for weeks afterwards."
"How old was he?"
"Quite young, about twelve I think."
"Twelve? Jesus!" Jack sighed and shook his head.
"So from that day on Graham's hated it whenever his father spoke to him in Arabic - especially in front of his friends."
"Twelve? Who the hell does that to a kid of that age?"
Daniel rolled his eyes and shrugged. "Apparently he did. It wasn't the only time he hit Graham either, from what I was told."
"When did Grae tell you all this?"
"Actually he didn't. Philip did. One day as we sat in the living room sharing the Saturday paper while Graham slept in his room."
A shadow came over Jack's face. It was strange to think of Philip and Daniel being closed friends at a time when Jack didn't even know Philip existed.
"Grae rarely spoke about his parents and if he did, it was mostly Rosa he mentioned."
"How can a father hate his own son?" Jack groused as he gave a loud sigh.
"Culturally speaking, many parents become estranged from their children due to religious and sexual differences.."
Jack looked at him then said, "It was Rhetoric, Daniel!"
"Oh," the younger man formed the word slowly.
Jack gave another growl and rubbed his tired face. He watched his suddenly forlorn companion and reached out, flicking him on the arm with the backs of his fingers. "What's up?"
"Would you have treated Charlie that way?" Daniel asked.
"Nope. No way," Jack said, then shrugged before adding, "But I'm coming from a different angle. I understand things a little differently than Jaheed does."
"But you were right earlier. What kind of father treats his son like that. The hatred.." Daniel shook his head as he sat back in his seat, pushing his coffee away as he folded his arms over his chest. "So did you ever come out to your parents?" He asked his friend in an attempt to change his mood.
"Agh," Jack scratched his cheek then said, "No." With a quick jerk of his head he told Daniel, "Think of Jacob Carter and General Hammond rolled into one package *and* in a pissy mood then multiply that by ten, then add an Irish accent. You have my Dad."
"Ouch," Daniel commented then added, "I did."
Jack's brows shot up towards his hairline. "And they said?"
"Not a lot. Just told me to be safe and wished me luck."
"Wow! Maybe that's because you weren't really their son?" When Daniel looked up at him, Jack quickly added, "I mean, it didn't reflect on the father.." He shrugged.
"Suppose not," Daniel said through a heavy sigh. "I think I was just lucky. I never really appreciated what it would have been like to come out to parents who weren't so understanding."
"Oh, I think you have *some* idea," Jack said cagily, almost in a sing-song voice. Daniel frowned so his friend shrugged. "Think about it, Danny. About a year and a bit ago - you came out to a very crotchety 'dad'."
Daniel took a moment then he smiled slowly, but without humor. "I don't recall coming out to you, Jack, and I doubt very much fathers have trouble dealing with their son's admissions for the same reason you had trouble dealing with mine.."
"Yeah. Yeah," Jack mumbled and waved his hand as if dismissing that thought quickly.
"But, ah," Daniel nodded. "I think you've stumbled onto something there. No wonder Grae feared you so much, and believed you when you threatened him.."
"I never threatened him!" Jack said in his own defense.
"Perhaps not physically, but you played all the right mind games. Can you even imagine what Graham must have thought you could do to him? Given Jaheed as an example? You played all the right mind games, all right, and you had no idea of the sorts of hoops his own father had already put him through."
"Yeah," Jack snorted derisively. "One of my finer moments!"
Daniel looked at his depressed companion. "Well, you've made up for it over the year."
Jack nodded, taking little comfort in that thought, and then he shrugged. "Just tell me one thing, Danny."
"What's that?"
"I wasn't ever as *bad* as Jaheed is - was I?"
The younger man took a moment then shook his head. "Maybe not."
"'Maybe' not?" Jack queried the less than absolving comment.
"What do you want, Jack? Absolution? Well, I forgive you. Grae isn't the sort to hold a grudge, so you're probably forgiven there too."
"Ya think so?"
"I know so. I spent five months of my life with him, Jack.."
"That long?" the older man queried in surprise.
"Yeah. That long. So I know that Graham wouldn't deliberately hurt anyone. In fact, it was him who stopped Philip from coming out to them because he knew that Phil was the favored son. He knew what that would do to them.. and to Philip." After a pause, Daniel sighed heavily and muttered as he lifted his cup to his lips, "If you ask me, he cared a little too much about hurting a lot of other people's feelings."
//Obviously not yours!// Jack thought to himself before looking up and seeing how crimson-faced Daniel had become during his passionate rant. "You okay?"
Daniel blinked as if realizing everything he'd just said he'd just said out loud. He looked around them quickly as he put his cup down again. "Oh, yeah, I was just.."
"Getting all protective of Simmons," Jack observed, watching his friend as he fondled his drink.
"No," Daniel said, staring down into his coffee like it held the answers to the universe within its blackness. With a soft laugh, aimed at himself, he muttered, "guess I was, huh?"
"Something you're not telling me, Danny?"
After careful consideration Daniel shook his head. Jack wasn't so convinced. "Sure?"
"We're not about to be come in-laws, if that's what you're implying."
Jack arched his brow then shrugged. "Worst fates.."
Daniel titled his face up to look at him. "Do you mean the me and you part, or the me and Graham bit..?"
Jack held his gaze as he gave a deliberate shrug.
Daniel shook his head and said, "I just... I have a different perspective on things - now."
"Now as in tonight? Or now as in..now?"
"I just think seeing first hand what Grae's had to put up with -I find it hard to blame him for.. being.."
"Flighty?" Jack offered. The blue eyes lifted to meet his.
"Flighty," Daniel said with an agreeing nod, then the younger man inhaled deeply, blew out the breath as he arched his brow high, wrinkling his forehead as he said, "It does help me understand why you got to him so much.."
There was a long silence then Jack said, "Well, I'm sorry."
The golden brow furrowed as Daniel concentrated on a mark on the tabletop then he slowly lifted his chin and looked Jack in the eye. "I don't think I'm the one you need to say that to."
"Yes I do. I completely misjudged the kid.."
"Kid?" Daniel asked with the wisp of a bemused smile as he looked back down at the mark. "He's older than Philip."
"He's younger than me, that makes him a kid," Jack said gruffly as he lifted his cold drink to his lips and swallowed the contents, then mumbled something along the lines of 'who needs to buy iced coffee when you can make it yourself' as he put the cup back down again.
"Jack," Daniel said in a cautious tone.
"What?" Jack asked, staring at the top of the bowed head.
"About Grae.." Lifting his face again, everything Daniel wanted to ask was in his features for Jack to read. The colonel's eyes narrowed as he looked at his slightly flushing friend. Daniel went on to say, "I gather you don't.. still.. hold the same feelings about.. well.. ugh, about me.. or about .. *cough* him.. and I was wondering.."
A smile crept across Jack's face slowly. "With my blessings."
Daniel met his gaze once more with a surprised gape. Gathering his thoughts quickly he said, "I'm not sure I'm after your blessings, exactly, I just don't want you getting all out of hand .. if.." He finished the hesitant conversation with a shrug.
Jack tilted his head slightly as he asked, "Do you care about him again?"
As if that thought turned Daniel's stomach over, the younger man squirmed in his seat while he kept his eyes averted. "No, not really.. Oh, I'm not sure.."
"You wanna know what I see?"
Daniel looked at him. "What?"
"I see 'Yes' written all over your face!"
"Well, it's good that you don't do the transcribing off pictographs then, because what's all over my face is not so much that I care about him again - but that.. I don't think I ever.. stopped."
"Ah," Jack said with a nod. Casually, he said, "Have you told him this?"
"It's not easy," Daniel argued softly.
"Course it is. Take him for a walk, tell him how you feel."
"The timing is lousy." The young man shook his head.
"You'd make Phil's day if he knew you two were together again. He's always wanted it."
"Well, actually, I thought he wanted us together," Daniel told him, blinking quickly.
With a shrug, Jack said, "Well, that too, but he'd settle for you and Grae."
"No, I don't think it's wise I start anything with him, not at the moment."
"Then be his friend," Jack instructed him.
"That I can do, if he'll let me."
"And getting back to your original thought, I don't think telling ma and pa hot-heads in there that Phil's not what they think he is will do anyone any good."
Jack watched as Daniel shrugged and rolled his eyes then he added, "Least, not in a way that will make Phil's last days easier to cope with. I know that means Graham bears the brunt of the abuse, but to be honest, I won't let that happen to Philip and from the little I know of Jaheed, I'm not sure he can forgive even Philip for something like that."
Daniel conceded that with a reluctant shrug.
"Speaking of," Jack said, gathering himself and getting to his feet. Daniel looked up at him then quickly stood as well.
"Yeah, we should get back.." he said in a quiet voice. As they exited the café Jack flung his arm across Daniel's shoulder and gave his friend a tight squeeze.
*
While they were walking back down the corridor Jack and Daniel saw nurses and doctors rush towards Phil's room. Soon the gut-wrenching sound of the alarm reached them and Jack broke into a sprint within a heartbeat, leaving a confused Daniel in his wake.
As he skidded into the room Jack saw the scene around the bed. The nurse, who had so easily comforted Philip last time, seemed to be struggling to get his breathing under control.
The Doctor looked down at the pallid face and spoke in low tones to the nurse, "What's his status?"
"DNR," she told him, indicating that on Philip's files was a Do Not Resuscitate request.
The doctor nodded gravely then put his stethoscope on as he listened to the young man's hacking coughs. "No point in giving him adrenaline then," he stated and the nurse shook her head. "Okay, up his morphine by 5 cc's. And arrange for an alcohol rub. His temp's spiked to 101!"
The nurse nodded as she said, "It's been steadily increasing all day," casually like she was discussing what he had for dinner as she passed over the file for the Doctor to make the necessary adjustments. The doctor kept his head down as he left the room and then the nurse quietly left as well; soon returning with a fresh, damp cloth that filled the room with the stringent smell of alcohol.
Jack watched as his lover, bone weary now and wearing a mask once more, laid motionless as the nurse attended to him. She swiped his bony shoulders with the damp cloth, and then trailed it down the partly opened pajama top, revealing the ferocity of the wasting syndrome to all in the room. The skin over Phil's chest was pulled tightly, sinking into the shape of the ribs beneath and etching the outline of the skeletal frame dramatically. Jack observed the horrified stare of the parents as they saw, for the first time, the real damage to their son. Rosa turned away from the bed, her face contorting as tears filled her eyes once again. Jaheed's mouth dropped open as he watched the nurse wipe the brown-speckled skin. Jack stepped up to the side of the bed, gently pushing the cloth from the chest and meeting the nurse's eyes as she looked at him in surprise. Seeing that he was now doing up the buttons on Phil's top, she nodded her understanding and twisted to put the washcloth back into the plastic bowl on the bed table.
"If he continues to remain hot though, you'll have to administer this to him - despite his audience," she told him, pointedly but gently. The colonel nodded.
"So, is anyone going to tell me what happened?" He asked in a low voice.
"His temperature's climbing up, which is to be expected at this stage.." She curtailed the rest of her sentence, leaving off 'of the disease' because she read something in Jack's quick stare that told her that not everyone in the room was aware of the patient's full medical history. "And he had an apnea episode. That's the third time in the past hour that his alarm has activated," she went on to tell him as she gripped the cold metal side rail in both hands and met Jack's gaze straight on.
"What causes that?"
"His inability to breath," she said, then saw Jack's questions within his clouded eyes. With a jerk of her head she led him from the patient side and out into the corridor.
Jack felt more than apprehension as he stood beside the tall nurse, meeting her eye-to-eye as she explained to him, "Basically Philip's having trouble breathing, despite the mask."
"Which means?"
She stared at him a long moment then shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you that."
"Oh for crying out loud!"
"It's the doctor's place."
"The damn doctor was just in there and didn't tell us a thing!"
"I know, Sir," she said, sounding genuinely regretful. "But I can't tell you anything."
Jack didn't need her to draw him a picture, though. He could hear for himself that Phil's chest was getting more and more congested, his breaths sounding more and more shrill with each intake. Going over to a seat in the hall he sat down heavily and pushed his hands through his short hair.
"He's dying, isn't he?"
It took him a moment before he could bring himself to look up at her face. There was no answer there, though, just compassion.
"You can knock once for yes, twice for no," he mumbled when she didn't respond.
"I'm really sorry, Mr O'Neill...."
"Sorry for what? Sorry that he's going to go tonight.. or.. just sorry..?"
When he met her eyes again he saw a caring smile within them. "He's quite tenacious. He's been low before and we though he wasn't going to pull through but he did."
"When was this?" Jack asked.
"Last night. It's on his records. It was not long after dinner."
"Thanks for telling me," Jack grumbled.
"You were there, Sir," she said, again with the slight smile. He held her gaze a moment then nodded.
"Just cos I was there, doesn't mean I knew what was happening!" He said quietly.
"I know," she said compassionately then added, "If it's any consolation, I believe he'll pull through."
"Can I take him home?"
"I'm not sure.."
"He wants to die at home."
She nodded then tilted her head. "I'm not that sure he's that aware of his surroundings anymore though."
Jack nodded. He had to agree. Unless people came right up to him, he didn't seem to know they were there.
<end of part 61>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.