Part 62
Jack's departure with the nurse left a decidedly divided room. Daniel and Graham stood to the right of Phil's bed while Rosa, still crying, and Jaheed, now watching the two men with a cautious stare, remained on the left of the bed. Philip, asleep and seemingly unaware, separated them.
The anthropologist crossed his arms over his chest as he dipped his face and asked, in a low mumble, "What happened?"
Graham shot his father a hateful look as he hissed back in an equally low voice, "My father happened, that's what!"
Daniel frowned and looked over at Jaheed but he was unprepared for the level of hatred he saw in the older man's black gaze. Deliberately turning from the scorn, Daniel scanned his ex-lover's face as he asked him, "Are you alright?"
"Fine," the lieutenant lied, his eyes still riveted on the man on the other side of the room.
Biting his bottom lip, Daniel nodded then sighed out through his nose. "You don't have to lie.. not to me," he whispered earnestly.
Graham did a double take, finally turning to meet the concerned blue gaze. His face softened considerably as he looked at his ex-lover. "Thank you," was all he said. Daniel reached out to pat Graham's arm in an affable manner.
"Why do you not take your filth outside where it belongs!" Jaheed hissed as he rounded the foot of the bed and stomped over to the two men. Vehemently he glowered at Graham then shot Daniel an uncaring glance before glaring at his son once more. "Subjecting your brother to such things!"
"I beg your pardon?" Daniel asked, genuinely bemused and none-to-pleased by the inference Jaheed was making. The father gave him a cold pass then said, "You should not be in here. This is the room of a sick man. He does not need your kind around him."
"My kind?" Daniel stammered then ignored Graham as he tried to smooth things over by placing a hand on his forearm.
"Because of you we will not see grandchildren!" Jaheed ignored the incensed anthropologist and addressed Graham, in Arabic, once more; "If you were normal, we would have a chance. Now, our chance lies dying in that bed."
"Pardon me?" Daniel said, shocked by the father's hateful words.
"No, please, Daniel," Graham said in English before he threw a pleading look at his mother on the other side of the room. Rosa hesitantly approached the argument, hovering behind her husband, in time for Daniel's next outburst.
"No, I won't be silenced!" He snorted indignantly as he squinted his eyes in accusation. "Surely this is about losing a *child*, more than it is about losing a grandchild?"
"I will lose both when Philip dies." Once more the dark eyes moved onto Graham. "If it were you, I would still have a chance for a grandchild.."
Graham rolled his eyes and pushed his way passed Daniel and out of the room. Dumbfounded by the savageness of Jaheed's words Daniel turned to follow Graham but swung around to the parents once more.
"You didn't really mean that, did you?" He said - his face filled with bewilderment as he tried to fathom the level of hatred between the father and son. Stammering softly, and tilting his head, Daniel said, "That you wished it was Graham and not Phil in that bed?"
The older man simply met his eyes in a cold stare then he turned and went back to Rosa's side. Daniel shook his head as he stepped backwards, then he turned and left the room, unable to believe what he had just heard.
Jack suddenly entered the room, his face a picture of confusion as he looked over at the parents consoling each other in the corner. He went up to Philip's side and saw that his lover was asleep. Turning to pick up his book, he sat down in the chair again, and flicked the pages open. His thought were not on the words, though, but on the look on the faces of the two men who had separately left the room moments ago. Because Daniel didn't even glance his way before taking off after the distressed Lieutenant, catching up with him part way down the corridor, swinging him around and bowing to look into the down turned face before he pulled the smaller man into an engulfing embrace, Jack knew better than to even ask what had happen. Instead he occupied, or pretended to occupy, his time with his book, refusing to even talk to the family again.
*
Daniel slowly eased back from the embrace, peeling himself from Graham's smaller frame. He tilted his head in order to check on the bowed face.
"I'm sorry," he told him, still feeling the sting of Jaheed's words in the heat of his own cheeks. Graham, seemingly awkward now that the embrace had ended, stepped away from Daniel as he scrubbed his hands down his face roughly.
"Grae, are you okay?"
The pain-filled dark eyes didn't look at him. Instead he just blinked then looked at the ground. "Fine."
Daniel reached out and touched his shoulder. "Look at me!" He tugged him to turn around. "Look at me," he said earnestly, touching his fingers to the corner of his own eyes. Graham turned to look at him and saw the genuine concern behind the glass shields.
"No, I'm not," he answered more honestly this time. Daniel closed his eyes slowly as he nodded.
"My brother is dying in there and my father wishes it were me..." The words ended abruptly in a tearless sob.
Softly, Daniel whispered, "I know.."
"How am I meant to feel?" Graham cried out, clasping his hand into a tight fist before dropping it to his side and pounding his thigh with it as he shook his head miserably.
"I know," Daniel repeated, just as softly as before then he bit his lips together as he guided the distraught man to the side of the corridor, freeing up the main thoroughfare for a gurney to get by.
"I wish it were me too," Graham mumbled now as he lowered his face and rubbed his palm across his eye.
"Don't say that," Daniel said, his voice still soft but this time stronger.
"Why not?" The younger man snorted as he looked up. "Would sure sort out a lot of problems!"
"And create a whole mess of other ones," Daniel told him sincerely.
The lieutenant gave a derisive snort as he said, "You, of all people, can say that?"
Wetting his lips quickly Daniel told him gently, "Probably because I'd miss you the most."
The almost-black eyes looked up at him, unsure what he was reading in the fine features of the anthropologist.
Daniel sighed and looked down the corridor towards the front entrance. "Let's .. let's go for a walk..." he suggested.
"I can't. I don't want to leave Phil," Graham argued, backing away from him.
"You've got the pager on you? I'll get Jack to page us if there's any change, how's that?"
Reluctantly Graham nodded. Daniel patted his shoulder as he said, "Good, well you wait here and I'll just go and tell him." The lieutenant's dark eyes held Daniel in place for a heartbeat then the younger man gave a joyless smile as he nodded. Daniel turned and walked away, back towards the room.
*
He entered the room - the sound of mumbled voices and the beeps of the monitors greeted him as he let the door close on its own. Jack was silent - slouched in his chair with his head back against the headrest, his eyes fixed onto the motionless man in the bed and his forgotten book opened on his lap. When he sensed Daniel's approach he turned and looked up at him, concern sparking in his eyes.
Daniel gave the parents a quick glance but they were in some kind of silent argument, hissing in low tones at each other. Placing his hand on Jack's shoulder he leaned down and whispered, "Will you page Graham if anything happens? We're.. going for a walk. "
"Oh?" Jack's brow shot up. Daniel met the unasked question with pursed lips and a sharp shrug. Jack nodded then patted his friend's thigh. "How is he?"
Daniel pursed his lips and shrugged. "He'll be fine. I think he just needs some.... air."
Jack saw the flare of color in Daniel's cheek, and the tension in his throat and jaw. He jerked his head towards the door and the two men left the room together. Out in the corridor he asked, "You wanna tell me what the hell happened in there when I was gone?"
Daniel crossed his arms over his chest as he looked directly at his friend. "He basically told Grae that he wished it was him in the bed and not Philip."
Jack growled and rubbed his hand down his face. "Holy shit!" He said, his voice sharp but not loud.
"I know..." Daniel said with a soft laugh, totally bewildered by the fact that a father could despise his son so much over something so unimportant. Jack looked at him.
"God, I feel like a heel!"
Understanding that Jack was again referring to the treatment of Graham over a year ago he shook his head and said, "Don't."
"Yeah, but," Jack sighed. "A father like that..."
"Doesn't deserve children," Daniel said flatly, hate-filled eyes boring through the door to Philip's room. Jack looked at him in surprised and was sure that the only other time he'd seen such a look in Daniel's eyes was when they were face-to-face with Apophis. He couldn't argue with the sentiment though. He agreed with it.
They were silent a moment then Jack said, "So this walk.. ?"
"He needs to know someone cares about him, Jack. That's all."
Looking past Daniel's shoulder, Jack saw the lieutenant waiting against the wall further down, his foot hooked up to rest against the wall, his head bowed. He focused on his friend's face once more as he said, "I think you're right about that." Patting Daniel's arm affably he said, "I'll page you.."
Daniel nodded then stepped back before turning to go back to Graham. Jack watched as the two men fell into stride side-by-side then he turned and pressed the door to the room open again.
He went up to Philip's side, watching for indications that the young man had woken at all. There were none. He reached for his book and fell heavily into his chair once more, hooking his leg over its arm.
"They have gone?" Jaheed asked bitterly, unseen because of the bed between them.
Jack stared at the slight lump in the bed that was his lover's legs. "For a walk," he said, as he flicked his book open then mumbled, sarcastically, "He won't leave Philip to do anything *stupid* like sleep or eat or anything!"
"He should not be here!"
Jack's eyes clamped shut as he bit back his natural instinct to leap over the bed and tell the contemptible man that he had no rights to treat anyone like that. Part of what stopped him, of course, was his own guilt that he had been just as bad, at one point. Despite protestations by Daniel that he was nowhere near as bad, Jack still felt the guilt, hard and heavy on his shoulders. Flicking the pages so hard now that he managed to tear one or two, Jack seethed in silence at having to go the next few hours, or days, with these people and not being able to attend to Philip like he wanted to.
He closed his eyes and thought of a time - back to when he took Philip to his home for the first time. Even after a year the memory of the awkward moments flared his cheeks but a smile still kissed his lips as he shifted in his chair and let his head loll back, remembering how odd it was to see this young man in his house. Subconsciously Jack sighed dreamily as he recalled the image of Phil standing in his bedroom that day; his well-fitting clothes highlighting his gorgeous body, a bottle of beer in his hand and a charismatic smile on his face...
Now Jack's throat constricted as he shifted awkwardly in his seat once more while the sting of tears that could never fall prickled the backs of his eyes. His eyes clamped shut tightly as he tried to not recall that face anymore - it only caused him too much pain and he didn't have the luxury of giving into his grief at the moment.
He coughed and forced his eyes open, focusing on the man in the bed, still asleep. Gone was the glow and plumpness of the attractive face and in its place was tight, shiny skin, scarred with red, dry patches and covered in a thick black beard.
He slowly became aware of the soft argument that the parents were trying to keep to themselves. Words of hatred wafted across the sick man's bed, vile words that described Graham in a very unflattering light. Unable to keep quiet any longer, Jack said, after a few moments, "You know, Graham's not a bad person.."
"You will not discuss him," came the abrupt response.
Jack bristled slightly as he lifted his chin in order to see across the bed to the top of the head of the man over there. "Beg yours?"
"I will not discuss - him - in the presence of my son."
"Oh, fer crying out loud!" Jack muttered as he got to his feet. Leaning against the bed, he stared at the father. "Graham is your son, too! He deserves your respect!"
"Respect!" Jaheed spat aggressively. "He deserves nothing!"
"He's your son!"
"He is *not* my son!" the flinty man said, shooting a harsh look at his wife. "My son lies dying in this bed!"
"Are you telling me that Graham isn't your biological son?" Jack frowned, suddenly wondering if he'd stumbled upon some family history that might explain the hostility between Jaheed and Graham.
"He is!" the mother wailed loudly, bringing her hands to her shame-filled face.
"No son of mine!" the man hissed vehemently, hovering over the wailing woman menacingly. Jack started around the bed when he thought that Jaheed might hit her, but the man moved away, throwing his hands in the air as he went to the window.
"He is your son, Father!" She said timidly.
Racing over to her again, Jaheed hissed as he lifted a hand into the air. "No_son_of_mine!"
"Hey. HEY!" Jack raced around the bed now, putting himself between the two of them and holding his arms out, to keep the irate man away from the cringing woman. "Stop it!" He yelled, holding Jaheed at bay then shoving him away. Clearly there was no shadow on Graham's heritage - more's the pity, Jack thought. This was just another classic case of father unable to accept his son was gay.
As his anger riled within him Jack found himself holding his finger up as he stepped back and said, "You don't deserve Graham!"
"What would you know!" the emotional man said to him. "You do not know what it is like to be a father.. to see your child rip out your heart when he grows up and stomps upon your wishes.. ridiculing your beliefs and ways of life.."
"Well, I had a boy!" Jack protested, about to launch into his spiel about Charlie.
"You? You are a father?" The mother interrupted him in a high, surprised voice. Jack glanced at her and realized that she had pegged the relationship between him and Philip already, but had said nothing. He slowly tore his eyes from the understanding gaze and gentle smile on the woman's tear-streaked face.
He blinked as he shrugged then said, "Had. I can tell you this! If he'd come to me to tell me that he preferred the company of men, I'd have said good-luck to him..."
"You have a son?" Jaheed asked.
Jack nodded and lowered his voice to say, "And I'd have given anything to have watched him grow up."
"Where is he? Is he with your wife?" Rosa asked.
"No," Jack said, softening his tone even more as he looked at her. "He's dead. He died years ago.." Then he turned his attention to Jaheed. Tapping his fingers to his chest he said, quietly, "But he will always be my son - here!"
"Graham is.." Jaheed began to say but Jack cut him off.
"Your son is a fine officer and a credit to the United States Air Force. You should be proud of him!"
There was a long silence and Jack thought that he might have finally gotten through to the headstrong man. Jaheed's mouth worked a moment, but no sound came out. Jack relaxed his shoulders even more then gave the mother a quick look, then a double take, as he saw she was watching him closely.
Jaheed's hot words drew Jack's attention from the woman's dark eyes. "I cannot be proud of a man who lays with men! Men should have friends... like you!"
With overwhelming disappointment, Jack bristled once more as he prepared himself for the next round. Jaheed continued, unabated, "You are a good friend to my son?"
"Of Graham's?" The colonel asked.
The look of distaste returned to the dark, sharp-featured man. "Of Philip's."
"We are good friends." Jack nodded as he avoided the mother's eyes now.
"This is what Graham should seek! A manly friend!" Jaheed said, pounding his chest with his fist. "Instead he has 'boy' friends!" He turned from the bed and spat. "Like that long haired.."
"Hey!" Jack held his finger up once more. "Daniel just happens to be *my* closest friend. I'd watch what I said, if I were you.." The look in the lighter brown eyes left Jaheed with no doubt that Jack meant what he said.
"Your friend?"
"Yes, and he is not Graham's boyfriend, for your information!"
/Not yet/ Jack added to himself.
"He makes me sick!" Jaheed said then amended it quickly with, "I am referring to my son! Not to your friend..."
Cocking his head slightly and dropping his jaw as he traced his tongue over his back teeth for a second, Jack paused then said, "Your son *is* my friend, too."
The two men stood almost chest-to-chest over this argument, Jack inches taller than Jaheed. Finally the father said, "He is not a man!"
Jack's eyes narrowed as diverted his gaze. "Listen, you are making oh-so many assumptions here," he told the outraged man. "The biggest being that I know *anything* about your son's sexuality."
"How could you not!" the father squawked, riling up once more. His eyes were now bulging and the veins in his throat stood out against the red skin as he flung his hand towards the door and yelled, "He looks it!"
Jack frowned. Never, in the whole time he knew Graham, did he think the young officer 'looked' gay. "Looks it? Listen Jaheed, accusations like that could end up causing your son a lot of trouble if the wrong people were to hear you! If you get my meaning?"
"I do not need to get your meaning! Graham causes his own troubles. Everything about him-" Jaheed screwed his face up with hatred as he said, "everything he does tells people he is - what you call them? Queer! That he is not a man! That he takes it like a woman.."
"That's it!" Jack threw his hands in the air and went over to the door, pulling it open as he swept his other hand in an indication to go. "I want you to leave."
"We are his parents, we do not need to leave!"
Jack looked at Rosa and arched a brow. She turned to her husband and touched her hand to his arm.
"I would like to leave. I would like to go and have a drink, please, Jaheed."
"You go. I'll stay."
"No," Jack said, pointing directly at him. "YOU go. She can stay if she wants to!"
"You have no rights to kick me from my own son's room!" Jaheed said, digging his heels in. Rosa gripped his arm and tugged him with her to the door.
"We will be gone a little while."
"Take your time and I mean that!" Jack said, pushing the door in the hope that it might slam into Jaheed's ass on his way out - unfortunately it was on a self-closer and didn't shut quickly. With the unbearable man from the room now, Jack inhaled deeply and flung his arms around, releasing the tension in his arms and shoulders. As he was rolling his head he heard, "'Ack."
Rushing to the side of the bed, he looked down at the eyes that seemed he hadn't seen opened in a long while. He helped Phil lift the mask off his mouth far enough to talk.
"Hey, baby .." He said, his voice soft and velvety as he touched his fingers to the damp forehead. He could see Phil's eyes trying to find him, but realized that although they rested on his face, they never focused on him.
Phil's mouth worked a moment then, almost out of sync with his dry, cracked lips, he murmured, "Home?"
Dropping his chin to his chest, Jack sighed and said, "Not at the moment, Philip. I know you want to go there.."
"Soon..."
"I know baby, but they want to leave you here, a little longer, so that you're stronger, that's all.."
Phil's eyes widened a fraction as his head shifted faintly from side to side. "Dy'g, J'ck.."
Jack's throat closed up and after a moments pause, he nodded. "I know, baby.." he said, sitting on the edge of the bed and lifting the frail hand into his own. Reaching down he brushed the back of the small, leathery hand against his cheek as he whispered, "I know.." He placed a kiss on each knuckle before straightening back up. Phil's eyes didn't even attempt to track him any more, they just stared off into the corner of the room.
"It would be too hard at home, anyway, babe. Your parents are here.."
"K'ow.."
"Kinda hard to explain that then, wouldn't it? I suppose I could have the spare room made up properly and say you're my house mate.."
"No..." The long fingers twitched in Jack's palm. "Tell..."
"Tell?" Jack frowned. "As in.. Tell them? About you? Us?"
The dull, dark eyes blinked slowly.
"No. I won't do that to your memory, babe.."
Phil's eyes fluttered as they closed then his mouth barely moved as the word "now," whispered off his lips.
"Now? You want me to..? Oh, God, baby, now I know you're flipped!"
"Yea..." A faint smile flittered across Phil's wrinkled lips a second then he started to wheeze quite badly. Jack carefully replaced the mask and smoothed his hand over the dark hair.
"I think your mom knows already.." He confessed as he fussed with the elastic around Phil's ear, making sure it didn't fall into the red, sore-looking rut that it had made across the top of the ear. The young man blinked.
"And, ah, I'd hate to say this but I don't think your father and I are getting along too well. Probably won't be inviting me to dinner on Father's Day.. at a guess... So that saves me buying a tie with which I'd probably just want to strangle him with anyhow.."
Phil shook violently as he coughed and Jack knew that was because he'd laughed at his comment. "Sorry, baby.." he mumbled as he eased him back into the mountain of pillows behind him and reached for the nurse's bell. All the time he soothed the distressing man with gentle words and soft touches. The nurse quickly entered the room and said, "I was just about to come in here." Looking at Jack she said, "Time for his treatment.."
"What about his coughing?"
"I'll treat that too, don't worry," she said with a confident smile. Twisting to the machine beside her she unclipped the plastic tubing and held it in her hand. "You might like to wait outside."
She was right and as if to prove it, the colonel's eyes quivered at the thought of the 'treatment'. Philip was on regular observations and suctions - which meant inserting a tube into his lungs to help alleviate the build up of mucus in there.
Reluctantly Jack released his coughing lover and turned to go, in time to hear the sound of the machine start up. As the door slowly closed he heard the sound of suctioning.
*
He was waiting in the corridor for the nurse to leave and as soon as she came through the door he stopped her.
"I want to take him home."
"I'm not sure that you can, Mr O'Neill. I'm sorry.." She said, shaking her head.
"Get me Doctor Frasier on the phone. Tell her I want permission to take him home.. Now!" Jack's voice quivered a little then he sucked back a deep breath before sighing out heavily. The nurse easily saw his distress and reached out to touch his shoulder.
"I'll place the call, but I don't think it's going to do any good. Without regular care, Philip will drown in his own.. Oh.." She realized that Jack was well aware of the consequences of taking Philip home. "The Doctor would never sanction that," she said sadly.
Jack nodded solemnly then shrugged. "Wanna bet? This.. " He said, pointing to the room. "He's not happy and I just.." He swallowed back the rest of his words. Words that implied he wanted this to end, not for him, but for Philip. Scrubbing his hand down his face he gave a loud growl as he said, "Just.. tell the Doc, eh?"
The pretty nurse nodded and went back to the nurse's station while Jack went back into the room. Philip's eyes opened slowly and again looked at Jack without really seeing him. The older man lowered the side of the bed and sat down, gently picking up Phil's frail hand again and holding it in his own. How large his hands looked against the small, leathery one. Gently he stroked his fingers along the protruding veins and down to the fingertips.
"I've asked for you to go home.." He said, and then watched Phil's face for his reaction. The younger man's hand twitched in his own.
"You know what that will mean?" Jack asked, wanting to be sure he did. Again Phil's fingers moved against Jack's palm. Soberly lifting the hand to his mouth, Jack kissed the curled fingers tenderly. Tilting his face he rubbed the hand against his cheek as he looked down at the tears trickling from Phil's red, dull eyes now. "I love you, Philip.."
The parched mouth opened slowly then, on a soft breath, Jack heard, "Jon'than.."
Closing his eyes he lightly rubbed his lips against Phil's hand as he finally allowed the tears to come. He kissed Phil's hand repeatedly, and then gently prised it open to press a kiss to the palm.
Phil's fingers felt the wetness on Jack's face and he said, "Hun..?"
"I'm okay.." Jack whispered hoarsely as he reached out with his other hand to touch Phil's cheek. "I'm okay baby.." Leaning down he kissed the cold cheek softly. Phil's hand left Jack's grasp and lay across the older man's lap and Jack fitted himself as best he could to Phil's body for a hug. He nestled his face against the young man's neck and gave a soft sigh. "I'll be okay.."
Closing his eyes, Phil gave into the warmth of Jack's embrace.
<End of part 62>
Stories on this page are the property of Nessessitee and Slida. Please do not copy these without the written permission of the Author. All Rights are acknowledged for MGM, Gekko and Stargate Productions as to the Copyrights of the characters within this story and no infringement on the copyrights are intended. For the Bombshells Series the character of Philip Simmons is entirely the creation and intellectual property of Nessessitee and Slida.
While the performances given by RDA and MS help to fuel the author's desire to write for their characters in a niche that she feels is present on the actual show, the portrayal of their characters in loving relationships in no way reflects the Author's opinion of the men's private life, nor should it be construed in that manner.