By: Irish Flare
“Don’t leave me! Please Josh stay! Don’t leave me with them!”
I, Amanda walked down the dirt path; my arms weighted down by the basket of potatoes. I hated potatoes they were the reason Josh left. He had seen our real mother die because of them and he didn’t want to wait around for it to happen again. It was a long time after the famine swept through Ireland but the traces of it were still visible. You could see the skeletons of the people who tried to leave this awful place but didn’t escape and fell victim to the disease as the other people did. I stopped at a small pond and looked down into the water, my reflection showed a scrawny girl, with dirty hair and dirty face. I continued on so I wouldn’t see the real me. My arms felt like bricks when I finally reached our rundown cottage in the country, about a mile and a half from town. I was in charge of getting the food and exercising the horses. Horses were my only way of escape; at least they were for a while. Two months before I boarded the ship to Ellis Island, we lost our steeds to a rotten man, who had tricked my father in the game of poker. I became like the un-living just like the people in the famine before they died. My body was there but I couldn’t feel it, I would go into trances and stare off into space. I started to drink, smoke, sleep with guys and cut myself. My friends started to get scared and avoided me thinking I had the plague. My father embarrassed at how I acted put me onto a ship to send me to my only living relative, Eric Denton, in Brooklyn New York. My father and his wife didn’t even give me a hug as I climbed up the steep ramp and they left unlike all the other families waiting to wave off their loved ones. As we sailed away everyone was on the deck, well not everyone, everyone but me.
“Why Josh? Why? He hated me, he only wanted you!”
For the next week I hid in my room, only responding with a nod or shake of a head, but nothing more. I ate half my food then hid the bread in my bag so I would have food in the Immigration building. I found it likely that I wouldn’t make it passed the medics on the island. But when I arrived that day. I out of everyone else in steerage knew how to speak English, and I made it passed the other people faster. At the medics I had some problems, I had an open cut that I had received on the ship when fell and it was still open and slightly infected, they were hesitant to let me pass but a gentleman of 6 feet with brown hair and brown eyes, convinced them other wise and they let me go with him. He took me outside to another boat the lead me towards a huge big city. I was so scared, so horrified at the sight of the huge city that the man had to pick me up and carry me on to the boat.
On the boat my hands were practically glued to the bar. The man found amusement out of my timidness and he laughed.
“Oh you find this funny? I don’t! So stop laughing!” I snapped my Irish accent crisp and clear.
“Oh Amanda, I see you can talk, you had me worried for a minute there, your father didn’t say anything about a retarded child so I was scared that I had picked up the wrong one.” He smiled. I shot an angry look at him then looked back at the floor. I began to get sick and I ran to the side of the boat and threw up my lunch. In the process of running to the side of the boat I ran into a boy with a weird accent.
“Hey watch it goil!” he cried but still moved. The man with me before began to talk to this boy as if he had known him for years.
“Yes Spot, this is my niece, quite a mouth on her to.” He laughed. The Spot fellow smiled and fingered a thin rope on his neck. I caught a glimpse of a key as I walked back to the man.
“Denton, if she needs a job, youse can send ‘er to us in Brooklyn, we got some perdy good newsies dere now.”
“Sure Spot, pick her up tomorrow at 7 stay in Brooklyn, but no Manhattan right now, after Snoddy saw a picture of her he was like when am I going to meet her? I want her to be comfortable, so she should get used to the harder places like Brooklyn, Bronx and definitely Queens before she goes somewhere easy.”
“Shoah Denton, what evah youse say.” Spot smiled. I my eyes lingered on his smile but looked away before he could look at me.
“So I see youse down paintin’ da ocean a different coloah?” laughed spot.
“Shut up, like you never done something like that!” I said coolly as I turned towards Denton.
“When will be there?” I asked feeling nauseous again.
“We are hear now.” Said Denton as he pointed behind me. I turned around and gasped in amazement. I had never seen anything so huge. The building were everywhere, they were huge. I watched in awe as Denton grabbed my few belongings and walked towards the ramp. We walked off and Spot followed us.
“Josh! Please come back! I’ll kill myself, I will!”
After walking through crowds of people we came to a carriage. A beautiful chestnut horse was waiting hitched up to a carriage. Denton placed the bags in the carriage and Denton opened the door. Spot held out his hand to help me up into the carriage. I took it and climbed into the carriage with hesitation. I had never had the pleasure of riding in a carriage, I always had to walk or ride. Spot sat down beside me and Denton across from me. I looked out the window as we began to leave and we headed deeper into the huge city.
“Look what you are making me do! I hate you Josh! Why are you leaving me with him!”
We stopped by the docks and Spot got out.
“T’anks Denton, I’ll see youse guys tomorrah!” He called as he started to turn away.
“Bye Spot.” I called as he walked away. He stopped and turned around, he smiled and waved. I actually smiled, well sort of, it felt weird but I smiled. I smiled, for the first time since Josh left.
"Don't worry you will see him again." said Denton as he watched me try to get one last glimpse of him.
"Why?" I asked confused.
"You have to get a job and until I can get one in the office for you, you will work as a newsie, you will start tomorrow, Spot will pick you up at seven." said Denton as the horse came to a stop. He helped me out of the carriage and we walked up to a huge house. (Its not huge but compared to her old cottage it was huge.) I walked inside the house and Denton walked up stairs.
"Here this is your room." He said walking into a small room with a huge window that looked out onto the street. A small bed was against the far wall and a small dresser with a mirror was against the left wall. Next to it was a small desk. I couldn't believe that it was my room.
"Welcome to Brooklyn, I now you had it hard in Ireland, don't worry, I'll take care of you. Dinner is a six then you can do what you want. But don't go outside unless I am with you or Spot is. Brooklyn isn't the best place to be out by your self."
Denton left and I walked over to my bed and lay down. I felt so tired and weak and in minutes I was asleep.
When I woke up it was dark out. I looked at a small pocket watch that was on the dresser, four AM. I hit my forehead; damn I had forgotten to eat dinner. I shrugged my shoulders then walked back over to my bed and climbed back into the bed and fell asleep again.
"I hate you! If you leave I swear I'll kill myself! I swear Josh! Don't leave me!"
"Wake up Amanda, It's 6:30, Spot is going to be here in 30 minutes." said Denton as he pulled back the covers. I rubbed my eyes and looked at Denton. I couldn't see any Irish in him, and the fact that he was my Uncle was pretty surprising too. He smiled. I sighed and climbed out of bed. I walked over to the dresser and brushed my hair and tied it up with a piece of string. Denton had laid out a skirt and shirt for me to wear. I ignored them and walked downstairs, Denton followed me, as we ate breakfast he watched me carefully making me uncomfortable.
“Just like your mother, what a beauty. Once you get more fat on you, you will be as beautiful as her.”
“You knew my mother?” I asked surprised. He nodded.
“What an intriguing woman she was. Always happy, her smile would light up a room…” he said, the doorbell rang and Denton went to answer it. Spot and another newsie were there. Denton let them in and I crept back up the steps and watched them carefully.
"Hey there Spot, Bandit." Said Denton, he turned around to introduce me but a confused expression crossed his face when he didn't see me. Spot smiled and pointed up the stairs, Denton looked to where he was pointing and smiled as he saw me sitting there on the steps.
"Come on Amanda, it's okay they don't bite." he laughed. I sneered at him.
"Hold on a sec." I called down and I returned to my room. I pulled out a small liquor bottle, took a sip and put it back then pulled out a few cigarettes and placed them in a hidden pocket and walked back out of the room and to Denton and Spot. Spot looked over me and his expression changed. He knew something. Denton kept smiling and pushed us out the door. I walked next to Spot and kept my eyes to the ground. He walked for a few blocks before he turned and walked up a ramp. He bought 100 papes then handed me like 20, Bandit bought 50 and then left us. Spot walked again and I followed. He explained how to sell the papes and so on. I listened and followed his example and I sold too. By 4 o'clock our papes were gone and he started to walk. All day he didn’t talk to me. He still had the expression on his face whenever he looked at me. I avoided his glance. Instead of leading me back home he took me to the docks. The docks were deserted. He walked to the end and sat down. He motioned for me to sit to.
"Youse know I ain't stupid,” he said as he opened his last pape.
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"I know you went to get a drink this morning' I ain't stupid, I know what dat stuff smells like. Denton just stupid he don't realize stuff like dat." I wanted to punch myself for letting him catch me. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a cigarette, and a match. It didn't matter if I hid it; he would find that out to.
"Damn goil, youse smoke to?" he said a frown across his face. "What else do youse do?" he asked, putting his paper down.
"I smoke, drink, gamble, steal, I used to sleep with people um that’s about all." I said covering up my forearms, so he couldn't see the horrible scars from cutting myself.
"Why did youse do dat?" he asked, with a blank look, he looked to my arms which I tried to quickly cover up. Then he got a confused look on his face. I ignored it them answered his question and put in the cutting to.
"It started after my brother Josh left, he said he hated our stepmom and our dad, so he saved up his money bought a ticket and told me he was coming here, I tried to make him stay, I did anything, and I mean anything, drink, smoke, sleep with people, cut myself, then they became a habit, and he still left. So I stopped eating. I looked so sick, they thought I had the fever. Then I was sent here." I said tears brimming my eyes.
"Oh, damn." said Spot. "Does Denton know?" he asked
"No. And he won't know." I said sternly looking at him with a glare.
"Okay. He won't find out, just try to stop, we lost a great newsie cause he drank and smoked." said Spot standing up.
"Come on lets take youse home." he said. As he started to walk away. I followed.
"JOSH PLEASE DON'T GET ON THE BOAT! PLEASE!"
Weeks passed and I began to sell more and more papes, I got to know the Brooklyn newsies pretty well, Spot had taken me to meet the Queen newsies and today he was taking me to meet the Bronx newsies. I adopted the name Flare for my attitude because it would flare up and they added Irish because of my accent. They cut it down to IF because I tended to get into trouble and they didn’t know if I was going to get out of trouble or not.
"Hey IF youse ready?" called Spot from the bottom of the stairs.
"Hold on a sec!" I called back. I reached under my mattress and pulled out the bottle, I looked at it then put it back underneath the mattress and ran down the steps. I kissed Denton on the cheek then Spot, Bandit, Ace and I began our walk to the Bronx. It was only 6 but we wanted to spend awhile there. I walked next to Spot only one cigarette in my pocket instead of the usual three or four.
Around 8 we reached the lodging house. A few newsies were there, but one newsie stood out, hidden by his harsh New York accent was a soft gentle Irish one. I looked at him for a moment to plant his face in my head. He looked so familiar. I just shrugged it off.
"No Josh please don't go!"
"Hey dere Spot!" called a thin lanky newsie; he had a nice smile, I expected that he was the Bronx leader.
"Hey Jake, what’s up?" he asked back exchanging a spit shake.
"Dis youse goil? IF?'' he asked.
"Nah, dis is IF but she ain't me goil." said Spot turning a violent shade of red.
"Youse sure bout dat?" he laughed.
"So how exactly did youse get da name IF?" asked Jake.
"Spot gave it to me. Cause I tend to get into trouble into trouble allot and you never know when I will get out of it. Also its a cut down for Irish Flare, cause I'm Irish." I smiled.
"Hey Snoddy come heah!" called Jake. The boy I saw earlier came over.
"Dis heah is Snoddy, he lives in Manhattan but he came over to visit his goyl last night. I’d introduce youse to da Bronx newsies but dey ain’t heah, except for two." said Jake.
"Um Jake could I talk to youse?" asked Spot, Jake nodded and they left me with Snoddy.
"Hey me real names Josh youse can call me dat or Snoddy." he said spiting into his hand.
"Amanda, or IF or Irish Flare, you can choose." I said spiting into mine and shaking. His handshake was firm. But his thumb didn't bend around my hand like it would normally do. I had a flashback to when he broke his thumb when he fell out of a tree; he had refused to see a doctor. I laughed and he looked confused.
"Sorry you just remind me of my brother. His thumb didn't bend around people’s hands when he shook hands with people either you just remind me of him. The same green hair color and eye color." I said trying to play with his head. He looked shocked.
"Where are youse from?" he asked quickly.
"Limerick, Ireland, I used to live on a horse farm." I said, a look of surprised rush across his face.
"Oh, cool." I pulled out my cigarette.
"Youse smoke?" he asked. I decided that there was a small chance that this was my Josh, so I decide to tell him I did and why.
"Yeah I started to keep my brother from leaving. Almost died I did, he was damn lucky I didn't." I said lighting it. He turned pale.
"Is your last name Carson, by any chance." he asked dropping the accent. Now it was my turn to be surprised.
"Yeah why?" I asked he gulped then continued.
"Did youse ever sleep with my best friend James?" he asked looking down at me.
"Yeah."
"Its me Josh, your brother." I was so happy but so mad at the same time. I punched him. Everyone stopped talking and looked at me.
"Okay so I deserve that,” he said rubbing his face. A bruise was forming under his right eye.
"Why did you leave me!" My temper flaring.
"Josh I'll never forgive you!"
"I couldn't take it anymore,” he said.
"Why did you take me with you!" I screamed, not caring if anyone heard me.
"I thought youse hated me."
"I loved you!" I cried. Spot came over to me
"Come on lets go home."
I nodded then looked back at Josh with tears in my eyes.
"I love you." I said, then I let Spot lead me away. He took me back to my house where I cried and cried for days at a time. I didn’t want to see my brother again, I couldn’t believe that he was healthy and alive and he didn’t send for me. Spot tried to get me to see him even Jack came to convince me to see him but I refused. I started to drink again, even smoke. My friends began to get scared of me and started to avoid me. Spot was the last to go, but he hung onto me as long as he could, before I pushed him away, with the rest of them. I began to recoil from the world. Who knew that a stranger would make all that change?