By: Pins
May 15, 1897
"Hey! Watch it!" I shoved the kid who almost knocked my papers out of my arms. He stumbled and looked dead straight at me. It was then I knew I was going to have trouble. That dark face was known almost anywhere. He's not the most popular newsie but he sure had a long file in the refuge. Nobody said anything against the Queen's leader. However, before I could stop myself I said, "You wanna start something?"
"You ain't from around heah are you?" He glowered at me.
"Nah, I'm from Brooklyn, what's it to you!" Seeing that I already was on the kid's bad side, I decided to make the most of it. My next plan was the tough guy act.
"What's your name kid?"
"Spot, Spot Conlon. And your Dodger Charlie, I know you." He was about seventeen, four years older than me. My natural reaction would be to run, to scram, to watch my mouth. However, the new Conlon never watches his mouth, never cares about nobody.
" Spot, eh? Woof! Woof! Woof!" The black haired boy looked down at me. He was tough looking and well known to be the best fighter in Queens. I gave him a death look that could freeze a volcano. He stopped his taunting. "I ain't scared of ya."
"You mocking me boy?" I challenged him. Nobody made fun of my name, much less bark at me. He chuckled, looking towards his group of punks.
"Look, mutt, I don't tend to fight little kids. So go back to Brooklyn and let's just forget the whole thing," he turned around. In the same movement he grabbed a girl around the waist and they started walking off. She was a pretty thing too. Her dress was nothing fancy but if flowed over her hips smoothly and her curves were in all the right places. She had nice silk, yellow hair tied up in a dirty rag. And her skin was as white and delicate like a porcelain dolls'. Unconsciously, I gave a low whistle. Dodger Charlie suddenly jerked his head around and I realized my whistle was louder than I thought.
"Don't even think about it, kid, Gina's mine!" He pointed his index finger at me.
"Loosen up Charlie-boy, I got my own girl!" He turned back around and mumbled something about how little kids didn't use their brains. I heard Gina whisper soothingly that she'll never go with a thirteen year old. Yeah right! I know she wants me. After all, she did give me a shy smile when they turned the block. They sure had good-looking girls in Queens. Well, I don't know for sure but each time I've been there I've seen quite a few. With that I headed for Brooklyn, a pleased smirk plastered on my face and my fists stuffed leisurely in my pockets with my papers under my arm.
* * *
"Conlon, where have you been all day?" My girl, Dolly strolled up to me with a questioning look. She is dynamite, like the ones in the mines; she can blow anyone and everything away. There's no messing with her, if she doesn't like you, you'll know right away. Dolly has no problem mouthing off when she feels the need; sometimes she even starts fights. Well, what do you expect from a tough girl like her?
"In Queens," I said simply, catching her in my arms and planting a kiss on her nose.
"Doing what?" She pulled away. Sharp girl, nothing gets past her. Dolly's better looking than that Gina girl that Dodger Charlie's going with, even though she isn't as curvy. She kind of sways as she walks and each stride is confident as it shows her strength. Her black hair falls over her shoulders, usually slicked back by a sparkly hair-band. She has a sharp nose, full lips, and dark, charcoal eyes.
"Selling, walking around, get a new scenery," I shrugged.
"Getting tired of ol' Brooklyn?"
"Babey, with you I'll never get tired of Brooklyn, you ARE Brooklyn," she knows how much I respect our hometown, how I'll never turn my back on it. I bet she was real pleased to hear that, and I was right. She smirked, something she picked up from me, and punched my arm.
"I know," she locked her arm through mine, "But Brooklyn needs a bridge, without it, Brooklyn's lost. You're my bridge Conlon," she grinned slyly. I love it when she says things like that and compares our life to things that I would hardly ever think of. What's that called again…a metaphor! Lately, we've been getting pretty serious. Whenever she's around I become overwhelmed with this strong feeling but I haven't slept with her yet. Actually, I haven't slept with anyone so far, I'm kind of wary of going onto the next step but I'll never tell the boys.
I kissed her again and led her home, then headed to the lodging house. Our current leader, Jackson, doesn't want us to stay out late. He's real strict and it seems like he never has any fun. Jackson's nineteen and you can already see the fatigue in his gray eyes. Sure the newsies' life is a hard one, but he seems the most worn out than all of us. Sometimes, I come home and I see him staring out at the starlit sky. There are creases in his face and some light reflects upon his sweat-beaded forehead. I wonder what he's thinking of when he looks out the window at the end of the day. Like he's waiting for something to come or searching for something out there, somewhere. He really needs to relax more, seems to me he's just uptight over nothing all the time.
May 28, 1897
"Hey! Where's my slingshot!" I yelled one morning. "Where's my slingshot!" I haven't even buttoned my plaid shirt when I noticed my slingshot wasn't beside my bed. Fumbling around the drawer I couldn't see it anywhere. "Guys! Check your slingshots!" Everyone knows that I marked mine 'S.C' so there's no mistaking which one's mine. "Whoever has it, I'll kill you!"
"Conlon, what's bugging you?" Jade came up to me, drying her strawberry hair with a towel. She got her name Jade because someone said she was jaded. And she could be really unfeeling when she wants to. She's eleven and has all the qualifications for an Irish. Her aqua eyes were innocent, and her pales checks sprayed with brown freckles that only added to her baby-face. However, she could be a mischief at times, she was a cute little girl, sometimes too unemotional for her age though, like when she gets scolded you're never sure if she gives a damn or if she's just not listening. Yet, at that moment I wasn't too happy to see her, with my mind so occupied and such. Standing upright, I took a deep breath but stopped short when I noticed what was hanging from her belt.
"You bitch!" I grabbed her collar and shoved her against the next bunk. Holding her there I grabbed my slingshot back. "I was asking for it, damn it!" I twisted her arm back so that she was kneeling on the ground. I heard somebody scatter out of the room; my guess was one of the younger newsies who got scared of fights.
"I didn't know it was yours, I thought it was mine!" She yelled.
"Bullshit-'' and I gripped her wrist even firmer.
"Hey! Conlon! What the hell do you think you're doing?" I was jerked away by the back of my shirt and someone put pressure on my shoulder and forced me to sit on my bed. I looked up to see Jackson, our leader, peering dangerously into my eyes with one hand raised. He never hit me before but I winced just thinking of it.
"She took my slingshot-''
"I thought it was mine!" Jade pouted.
"I asked for it a million times!" I backfired at the little brat.
"You know better than to do that to Jadey!" Jackson's voice bellowed. I didn't know what to say. Everyone in the room was looking. Suddenly I wondered who went to get him. My eyes landed on Peanuts, a five year old who clung to his brother's sleeve, eyes all wide. Who cares, I wouldn't have been able to do anything about it anyway.
"Well, she aint hurt!" I said defensively, "Are you hurt?" I looked over at her and she was rubbing her left arm. She mumbled a no and turned away. Perhaps I was intimidating her by giving her a strong look with my eyes. She probably thought that I would hunt her down if she said otherwise. I heard Jackson let out a tired sigh.
"Come to my room, Conlon, we have to talk," he walked out of the bunkroom and signaled me to follow. I waited a minute and watched Jade for a moment. She was pulling a blouse over her tank top trying her best to ignore me. I felt sorry, after all she was only eleven. The room was still silent and I could feel their eyes on me.
"What are you looking at?" I sneered and they turned away. Then I faced Jade again. I caught her eye for a second but then she resumed to dressing, grabbing her cap from her bedpost. "Jade, you okay?" She shrugged and didn't even glance my way. Her cheeks were flushing a bright red, and her eyes were hard as it looked out the window. She was really making it hard for me. "Yea, well, I'm sorry." At that I exit the room to look for Jackson.
Jackson's room was at the end of the hall, far from everyone else. The door was closed and it seemed like a haunting aspect to be inside with him. But I guess it's because I knew I was going to get a lecture.
"Come in," I heard his voice from the inside after I knocked. I turned the doorknob and entered, closing the door behind me. Jackson was looking out the window again, down the fire escape, past the docks, and across the bridge; his eyes had a faraway gleam to them. He had his hand clamped on his forehead and partially shadowing his eyes, and the other had a ciggy dangling between the fingers. When I came in he sat on the edge of his bed, slouched over. "Sit," he tilted his head and I did so.
"I said sorry to her," hoping that it helped.
"Good, good," he nodded, his hand still on his forehead. I found myself watching his mouth move since that was the only feature I could really see. "Jadey Babey," he swallowed, that was his nickname for her. "She's thinking about moving to Queens."
"Queens? Why?" Queens was Dodger Charlie's territory and I knew he wasn't the most reliable person to be around. Half of his gang was in the refuge at the moment.
"Says there's more girls there. She doesn't feel too comfortable around so many boys because they pick on her too much. That incident you just pulled didn't help her change her mind any." Jackson smothered the fire out of his smoke, pressing it against his pant leg. I didn't know he liked Jade so much, if I did I would have been more careful.
"I didn't pick on her because she's a girl though."
"Yea, I know. But she didn't mean anything bad. You got to control your temper more, Conlon," Jackson shook his head. I asked him what he was going to do about it, Jade moving to Queens that is. He just shook his head some more and said there was nothing to do but let her go. "But I didn't call you in just to talk about that."
"Well, what is it?" I inquired, straining my neck to look up. At this point he began pacing around in front of me and I was trying to see his face without getting up.
"The other night, I saw you with your girl, Dolly." Suddenly I felt my face getting hot. "You were…kissing." Yes, we were kissing, but it wasn't just making out either. Before jumping to conclusions, let me assure you it wasn't sex either. It just got to the point where we were kissing immensely and we were half on top of each other. I don't know why, but having Jackson know gave me the shudders.
"Plenty of other guys do it too-''
"Spot Conlon, I don't want you ending up like the other boys!" Jackson emphasized on the word 'boys' making me feel young. "People become parents way too young these days," he whispered.
"Jackson! Dolly and I aren't even thinking about doing stuff that gets a girl pregnant!" I was enraged that he could think that. Even if I did it wasn't his business anyway, I wasn't his little brother so he held no reason to boss me around. Besides, I don't see him lecturing any of the other boys.
"Yea, yea, I know you ain't," he waved his hand but I knew he didn't believe me. "Just take things slow alright, there's no rush. Now get out of here!"
"Whatever," and I left to get my papers. I knew he didn't really know what to do about me. He really needed to chill out though.
* * *
That same night I lay wide-awake in my bed. I heard Jade shifting to get comfortable, other than her our room was dead silent. She continued to toss and I was beginning to wonder if she was having a nightmare.
"Jadey?" I whispered into the night. It was dark so I couldn't see if she was awake or not.
"Hmm?"
"You still mad at me?" I lifted the covers and kneeled down beside her bed. She seemed to pause and think for a minute.
"Nah, we all make mistakes," I couldn't help but smile; she was a smart girl, especially since she was only eleven. I wish I had thought of that before I shoved her. I stopped smiling when I remembered.
"Jackson says you're leaving for Queens," there was another pause.
"Yea."
"We'll miss you," I wasn't sure about that but it seemed like the proper thing to say. Anyway, I for one liked having her around.
"Bullshit. Don't lie to me, Conlon," that was the first time I heard her curse. "The guys don't give a hang whether I leave or not."
"Well, what's so great about Dodger Charlie's place?" I altered the topic.
"There are more girls. I can't live with boys all my life, I have to learn to be a lady someday." I pictured her being dressed up in gowns, having her blond hair crimped and a maid to wait on her. However, I figured she meant in mannerism, yet even that seemed a fair stretch.
"In this life, there's no such thing as a lady," I said, not meaning to let her hopes down. I ran all the newsie girls I knew in my mind. They were all had tough demeanors and swung their limbs loosely when they walked. They uttered cursed and heaved loads of newspapers in their arms. There was no time to be polite; first they had to scavenge for enough money for food and shelter. As if that wasn't hard enough they had to put up with the low and dirty ones who try to take advantage of them.
"Yea, but I need some girl friends," she whispered. I knew what she meant; she was growing up. Soon she'll be getting curves and boyfriends. I shook my head slightly; I couldn't picture that from little Jadey.
"You've gone eleven years without them. Why, I can't even remember not having you around. You just going to leave Brooklyn?"
"Spot, who cares if I leave, I haven't gotten close to anybody! And when I almost did you all started pulling pranks on me."
"Cuz you're like our little sister, we care about you!" I didn't know if I was stretching the truth or not. I did know that I would defend her if some creep started ganging up on her. However, if we're talking about spending quality time together, forget it. Either way, I don't see how she could just jet after all we've done. After knowing only us for so long, and having Jackson watch over her like some kind of prized possession.
"If you cared about me, you'd want me to go to Queens. It's better-"
"A better place? What could be better than Brooklyn?" I started to whisper harshly, trying not to explode. "The boys ain't bad, you just got to toughen up a bit." Then I remembered how cold she was to me earlier. "I didn't mean that, I mean, don't take it personally that's all."
"I want to go to Queens," she said blankly. I knew then that I could yell at her all I wanted and her tone would remain the same. She'll tune me out, and pretend that I don't mean what I'm saying, and mentally keep on telling herself that she's right. She was set to go and that was that.
"You're a traitor, Jade, an unfeeling traitor!" I was so mad that I felt like I could cry. But Spot Conlon never cries.
"Hence the name," she said simply. I wanted to toss her out of her bed but then Jackson would have my hide. I nodded slowly; two can play the same game.
"Fine, go to your precious Queens. It's your lost." I stood up from kneeling and looked back at her bunk. She didn't move. I gripped the bedpost and heaved a sigh, slumping down on my own mattress.
"Goodnight Spot," I heard her faint voice. There I lay, not answering, I didn't want her to think I cared about her stupid 'goodnight' or her leaving.
May 30, 1897
"Well, here we are," Dolly sighed as we both stood on the pier. The sun was starting to set and its colorful rays touched the ripples of the East River. Away from the water was the lodging house, one side hit by the sun's light and the other dark as it cast a shadow upon Brooklyn. It was gorgeous sight and Dolly and I stood above it all, watching it like King and Queen over a kingdom. Soon we would have to go our separate ways, but at the moment we took our time to bid farewell for the night.
"Yea, here we are," I repeated her words. A slight breeze blew a dark strand of hair into her face. I went to brush it away and I almost hesitated because I could have sworn she jumped a little. We just got back from a date in Central Park, so I figured she was a little worn out and wasn't prepared for my affectionate gesture. I smiled soothingly and held her chin between my fingers and kissed her softly. She seemed reluctant to return the favor yet she didn't pull away. Soon enough, she started to kiss back.
"What's the matter?" She opened her eyes after I suddenly drew back. I was thinking about Jackson and wondering if he was watching by the window or something. She saw me look towards the lodging house and cocked her eyebrow.
"Maybe we should take it slow."
"You calling me a slut? Is that what you think I am?" I looked at her in surprise. Her outburst seemed so irrational that I couldn't see why she jumped to that conclusion.
"W-What?"
"You heard me!"
"Dolly, I didn't mean anything like that!" I said defensively. "It's just that Jackson saw us the other day and thought we should take it slow."
"You don't really care about me do you? You care more about what others think! You don't want them to think you're having a fling with a floozy, isn't that right Conlon!" She barked, her eyes all fiery and threatening. I was completely caught off guard that my reactions seemed to be slow and all I could utter was the word 'no'. "Well, it's over. I don't need to take that kind of crap from you!" At that she slapped me across the face and stomped off. She didn't even let me explain thoroughly. Besides, I thought girls liked it better when guys took it slow and seemed respectable. She never seemed one to go for being respectable but I didn't mean that we'd stop kissing, or anything. First Jade and now Dolly, I can never understand what's going through their heads.
June 2, 1897
Dodger Charlie came to our docks that afternoon to pick up Jadey. At first he wanted to meet her in Queens but Jackson insisted that he be responsible and come for her. Besides, if we walked her to Queens it'd be like we were giving her away or something. At least that's what Jackson said. However, he never did that for the other newsies that left. I hated how he always bends over backwards to make Jade feel better, especially since she's going to be ditching us anyway, the ungrateful scab. I didn't try to hide my disapproval either, but Jackson said that I'd have to see things his way to understand. That's what I mean when I say he acts too old for his age.
"Be good to her," Jackson looked at Dodger Charlie as he nudged Jade forward. Charlie-boy just shrugged and took a long drawl from his cigarette. "I mean it." Jackson held up his fist this time.
"Alright, alright!" He stepped back and knocked into Dolly. She was there too; it was the first time I've seen her in days. Not all the Brooklyn newsies were there to see her leave so it wasn't a big crowd. Probably only fifteen newsies were from Brooklyn, some who weren't even newsies, and some from Manhattan. They weren't even there to see Jade; they were only acquainted with her. Jack Kelly, Mush Meyers, Crutchy Morris, Kid Blink, and Racetrack Higgins just came here to pick me up so that we could go to Tibby's later.
Jadey looked over at me, expecting me to give her a last word before we parted. Instead, I glared at her coldly. From my side, Dolly slithered her arm into mine, I suppose she sensed the tension. Her gesture was a surprise to me; as far as I was concerned we broke up.
"Good-bye Jade, come and visit sometime." She said softly. Jade nodded and picked up her little bag and slung it over her shoulder.
"Yea, you too. I guess I best be going-''
"Yea, wouldn't want to keep your paradise waiting." I finally spoke up. Everyone's eyes seem to fall upon us. From a little girl who can hide her feelings really well, her eyes sure went wide and wild.
"Spot, it's not my-''
"Good-bye, Jade," I didn't let her finish, I wouldn't. I could feel Dolly nudging her elbow into my ribs. What a bitch, the both of them. Turning their backs from Brooklyn, from me.
"I'll miss you too Conlon," She mumbled as she turned away to stand next Dodger Charlie. I knew it was a lie, just like the one I gave her the other night. Perhaps she's only eleven, but I don't take jack from nobody. Being a traitor deserves no respect. When her figure faded into the Brooklyn Bridge, I looked up. I should have known that pairs of angry eyes would be meeting mine. Dolly had her hand on her hip and Jackson's arms were crossed tightly as if another word would make him strike out and hit me.
"Jack, you and the boys better wait in the lodging house. Spot will be there in a while," he said through his teeth. Kelly nodded and patted me on the stomach as he passed. The other boys did the similar when they walked by.
"Conlon-''
"Don't even Jackson, I don't want to hear it," a lecture was something I didn't need.
"Jesus Conlon! She's eleven!" Dolly's outburst didn't intimidate me. As a matter of fact it vexed me that she thinks she could tell me what was right and what was wrong after that incident on the docks. I didn't say anything about it. Instead I told her never to put her arm in mine again; after all we weren't together anymore. That stunned her because her jaw nearly dropped to the ground. I've never saw her react like that; she's always been too tough. If I weren't boiling mad I would have laughed at the sight. Jackson didn't know we split so he was gawking like a dead fish. We've been going out for four months prior so it must have been big that we finally broke.
Getting fed up with being stared at, I turned my heel and left them, heading for the lodging house. I needed to get away from the hatred thoughts of Dolly and Jade. I had to get away from a world where there are women and go hang out with my pals. Going to Tibby's will make me forget everything. As I made my way down the sidewalk I felt a hand jerk me back. It was Dolly.
"Look, Spot, about that day. It ain't really the way it seemed, I had a reason." Her eyes were pleading me. Maybe she wanted to get back together. However, I wasn't entirely ready to glide back into her arms.
"I know your reason." I rolled my eyes, "Boys! Ready to go?" I yelled to the window. As soon as they come out I'll be able to leave and get away. "Be right there!" I heard Crutchy's voice call down.
"Look, I wasn't mad about slowing down!" She gripped her dark hair like she was about to freak out. I crossed my arms ready to listen to her petty excuse that she calls a reason. "I met someone," I could feel my blood pressure rising and my eyes started to sting. "I just wanted a way out, and I didn't want to lie about anything." She was looking at her feet now. I wasn't sure what to think. She met someone; she backstabbed me. However, she tried to break us up so that she wouldn't have been cheating on me. I suppose it wasn't her fault that her flame for me died out. And I have to give her credit for trying to be honest. Her loyalty was what attracted me the first place. To leave her with harsh feelings seemed almost impossible.
"K, well, either way, it's still over between us. Hope you don't pull the 'just be friends' shit on me," I shrugged. It seemed like the only thing I could think of doing.
"I wouldn't do that," she smiled shyly, something she did before we got together. "I just don't want you to hate me."
I wanted to say something like, "I can never hate you." But I thought that I'd be getting too soft so I said, "No, I don't," while shaking my head.
"Ready?" I heard Jack's voice from behind and I turned around. The other four were walking beside him.
"Yea," I looked back at Dolly.
"Well, I gotta go meet him now, Bob that is," she stuffed her hands in her pockets and bit her lip. I nodded and she turned to walk off. Before she was out of my sight I hollered to her.
"Bob is it? What kind of name is Bob?" She smiled one of those smiles that make you figure that you'll never see the person around again.
"What kind of name is Spot, huh?"
* * *
"So, it's over between you and Dolly," Blink said more like a statement than a question. He was fiddling with a loose button on his shirt. In someway he seemed to be trying to look careless, like many boys do when it comes to girls. We were all seated around a table eating our lunch.
"Yea, how do you know?" I don't recall ever telling him or anyone else about it.
"It's all over, everyone's talking about it," Jack said, tilting his cowboy hat back so his eyes showed.
"Everyone? Why?" The chain reaction to my bewilderment was a snicker or two.
"Come on, Spot, it's no secret that all of New York wants the details," Racetrack raised his eyebrows, supposedly to hint something.
"The details of our breakup?"
"Yea, what else?" Crutchy's nasal voice was sarcastic.
"Why would all of New York be in my business," I muttered, more enraged than curious.
"Cuz, you're Spot Conlon. For months, girls from every borough wanted in on what was happening between you and Dolly. Since you've been together the longest out of Tara, Jinx, and Leopard, they were hoping it wasn't very serious," Jack Kelly explained.
"You're quite the ladies man," Mush joked, taking a gulp from his coke. The others laughed.
"C'mon, you guys ain't no innocent! Jacky-boy you got a file of your own!" I slapped him upside the head and he jabbed me in the ribs, still laughing.
"That's cuz I'm fifteen, two years older. Spot, you should know what happens when you turn thirteen."
"Nah, what happens?"
"Well, you become what girls like to call 'heartthrobs'. You turn into a teen, a step towards manhood!" Jack slammed his fork down and the others cheered. "Even Mushy here has a few girls lined up for him!" Jack firmly clasped his hand on Mush's jaw and turned his face towards us. Then he pinched Mush's cheeks like he was a child.
"But not as much as Spot does," Mush said taking the attention away from him. He batted Jack's hand away when he attempted to restrain his bush-like hair.
"Why would they be all crazy for me?"
"Cuz, you're known for your attitude and hot temper. You're dangerous! You're a bad boy!" Race raised his voice and slapped his hand on the table. I wasn't sure what gotten into them. All of a sudden they started hollering, cheering, and slamming things against the table. They were really riled up, and I liked it.
"Can you just imagine what's behind those girls' minds; what they want to do with you?" Crutchy waved his crutch in the air.
"Girls ain't like that! They don't think about how far they can get, they just want to settle down, have someone to hold them, and have a nice family!" Race waved his hand as to dismiss the idea.
"Yea right!"
The day went on so. With hollering and laughing and talking about girls. I always knew that girls found me cute, or hot, whichever one. However, the boys made it sound like I had loads of them pining after me. I don't how I feel about that. It's kind of nice, and I guess a little scary. Of course, they'll never hear that from me. At least not tonight when I seemed like such a hot shot.
June 10, 1897
I got a new girl. I know it's kind of soon but she's crazy about me, and her name's Sunshine. Before I asked her, she would stay in a shop across from my selling spot and stare at me. Then she would have to go back to work in the factory after her lunch break. At first I felt a little uneasy with her eyes burning through my back. However, when I turned around to tell her to stop I realized she was kind of pretty. She looks like an angel with her big blue eyes, and scruffy looking white blond hair. She wears it short, cropped actually and it looks good on her. I figure if a girl has short hair and still looks pretty she must look really beautiful with long hair. And she's not at all like Dolly, almost the complete opposite actually. She's refined and holds her chin down like she's shy around new people. Sunshine is really the happy-go-lucky type who giggles a lot and has tons of energy.
Jackson has been a real pain lately. Always telling me not to stay out so late and not to go too fast with Sunshine. I wouldn't do that to Sunshine anyway, she's a lady and it took her a lot just to hold hands in public. Yet, every time I see Jackson I know I'm in for a lecture. Recently, I've been darting the other direction when I see him coming my way.
One night I was coming home from Manhattan. It was way past the curfew, near two in the morning. I should have known to pay closer attention to the time. Not only would I only have three hours of sleep at the most, but I also had to find a way in. Johnny, our landlord locked the doors at twelve. It wasn't always like that; they used to leave it unlock so that anyone who needed a place to stay could come in. However, one night we were robbed and that was the end of it.
There was nothing to worry about though. All I had to do was get to Jackson's window, which is usually unlocked or left open during the summer. By the light of the crescent moon and feeling my surroundings I found the tree by the lodging house. I pulled myself up a branch, and then another, and then another. Stopping when I was perched across Jackson's window. It was open, just like I thought it'd be. Now, I had to sneak in quietly so that the floorboards didn't squeak and then make a mad dash for the bunkroom. The only sound that could be heard was the singing of the crickets and dancing of the leaves blown by the tender breeze. And I had every intention of keeping it that way.
Swinging both legs on each side of the branch, I knotted my ankles together. If I lost my balance while reaching over for the window, at least I'd still be hanging upside down instead of dead in the bushes. From where I sat, I knew I couldn't just dive in. If I did the whole house would be up in a jiffy. My best bet was to try for the bed. I couldn't see it but I knew it was on the left side of the room.
With the strength in my back I lounged myself forward. I couldn't see in the dark so I wasn't entirely sure where I was headed and was relieved when the soles of my feet touched the blankets. However, my luck was changed when I realized someone was in bed. Stupid me! I should have remembered that Jackson would be asleep at this time. When I heard the gasps the feeling of unfamiliarity struck me. It took a few seconds for it to occur to me, that Jackson and an unknown figure were in the same bed.
"Conlon!" Jackson hissed. I was too shocked to say anything. The other figure was scrambling out of bed, yanking the blankets to cover themselves. "Gina!" He turned to the girl who was blubbering through her movements. She pulled on what looked like a nightgown and high tailed for the door, not bothering to close it. "Get out!" Jackson demanded, not loud enough to wake the house. I stared at him, my mouth moving up and down.
"Jackson, ain't Gina Dodger Charlie's girl?" Until then, I just figured out what was going on in Jackson's bedroom.
"I said out!" He thrust his index finger at the door. I could almost see the anger in his gray eyes; almost feel it is more like it.
"How could you?" I asked softly, I felt that a certain injustice has been placed between us. "You told me to take it slow with Sunshine…with Dolly." The reason I broke up with Dolly was because I listened to him-no, it was because she found someone else. However, that's where it started. Jackson's arm fell to his side and he closed the door softly.
"Conlon, don't be mad."
"You're a hypocrite Jackson. What do you think you're doing? You think you're older than me by that much? You think you can tell me not to and do it yourself?"
"Spot, stop, don't take it so hard-" He had his hands up like he was surrendering.
"You ain't even my brother, I don't know why I bothered listening to you anyway! Who do you think you are? Next time, just mind your own business! Damn bastard!" I turned to leave, I couldn't deal with another liar, another person who snuck behind your back, another traitor. Dolly, Jade, Jackson, I made a mental note not to trust anyone again. I'll have to be independent from now on.
"Hey," Jackson grabbed my arm and pulled me back. "I care about you Spot, I wanted to watch out for you!"
"How can you when you can't even watch out for yourself!" I knocked his arm away. Jackson hung his head and looked at the ground. "You don't even have a damn reason for caring so don't!" I turned to go, for the final time, so I thought.
"I have a son," he stated. I stopped in my tracks. "Three years ago when I was sixteen I got the most beautiful girl pregnant. But her parents were traditional folks. You had to be married first, and they absolutely despised me. They took Trisha and my son away, they moved away from me," he whispered the last part more to himself. I shook my head at him in disbelief.
"You just don't learn do you Jackson? No, you don't. You don't care about making the same mistakes again," I found myself nearing him as I lectured. "No, you just want to continue getting it on with the ladies!" Suddenly I felt a sting across my face. That was the first time he laid a hand on me. The first time he struck out at me. That was it; I was out. I ran down the hallway, to the stairs, I was going to spend my night in Manhattan.
"Conlon! He looks like you! Looks exactly like you!" He yelled. Foolishly, I wondered if anyone has been awaken by the soap opera that just took place. "Damn, I don't even know his name." I heard Jackson muttering. I'm not sure, but for a second I thought I heard raking sobs coming from his room. Who cares? I needed to get to Manhattan or else I'll never get any rest.
June 18, 1897
Sunshine had just kissed me good-bye and left for the factory. We haven't seen each other in a few days and she has been wondering what happened. I've returned just yesterday and have been selling non-stop this afternoon. Jackson and I still don't talk to each other. I suppose he does give me this pleading look with his eyes but I ignore him. At times he'll try to talk to me but before he utters a word he changes his mind. I do feel like I'm being too hard on him, but I know I'm not going to start a conversation with him soon. I figured that I'll just wait and time will fix the tension.
I've always been okay selling by myself. No one bothers me much and I get many customers. A lot of them are females, sometimes grannies too. However, this afternoon I was confronted by nearly a dozen thugs. I had a feeling I was in for some trouble when I saw them making their way towards me. I didn't know what was going on except for the fact that they had a little argument with the Brooklyn newsies in the past, so I just stood there. They moved like a pack of wolves armed with chains and clubs. People darted out of their way like tidal waves. They were tough looking and I stepped over for them to pass by. The only thing is that they didn't pass by; they stopped right in front of me.
"You're the kid, ain'tcha?" One of them shoved me in the shoulder; it was their leader and his name was Donald. His breath smelled of stale saliva and he was roughly unshaven. I recall him being the one who Jade used to be scared of. Jade never said anything but I always had the feeling that Donald had sexually molested her. Which leads back to the conflict between his gang and us. They always picked fights with the younger ones on the street and gained up on anyone who was alone. There was a time when everyone had to stick together, until we had a fight. It was skin to skin and no weapons. I was too young to fight at that time. I didn't know what Donald and his gang wanted at the moment, I just knew that I didn't like him at all.
"Depends on the name, cactus face," I patted him on the cheek only to be thrown against the wall. Pain hit my back, and I mentally scolded myself for having to be a smart-ass. I reached for my cane; however, one of the chains hit me across the face before I loosened it from my belt loop. I thought I was going to pass out and my face was so numb I couldn't tell if it was bleeding or not until some blood dribbled onto my lip.
"Into the alley, you little twerp!" Yea right! As if I was going to listen to him. I know it's chicken to run, but I was outnumbered eleven to one. I'd be on my way to be a Thanksgiving meal if I didn't jet soon. Trying to dodge through the heavy bodied dumb-asses, to make a run for it, I was caught in someone's arms. They picked me up and carried me into the alley.
"Put me down!" I hollered. "You'll be sorry! I'll beat your face in if you don't get out of our territory!!" I tried to sound tough but all they did was laugh. The one who carried me raised me as high as they could and threw me against the brick wall. My last thought before losing consciousness was to gain weight so that no one could ever pick me up again.
* * *
"Shit, it's cold," I heard a faint voice. I was still lying on the ground in the alley and I was wondering who said that. Lifting my head, I took a look around, and man, did I have a headache. My eyes landed on a boy, in unrecognizable condition. There was blood, lots of it, it poured out of the boy forming puddles. He was limp in the corner and his gray eyes were wide open. Those gray eyes…it was Jackson! Blood leaked from his temple and teeth that were knocked out were strewn beside him. His hair was matted wet with crimson and his arms were all cut up.
"Jackson!" I pulled myself on all fours and crawled over to him.
"Conlon, I'm sorry."
"It's okay. What happened?"
"Donald's gang. The boys chased them off, they're gone now," his voice became hoarse. "I thought, you were dead," Jackson cracked, wrinkles appeared at his brow as his mouth turned into a desperate frown. He was crying, tears came down rapidly and it made me cry too.
"Jackson…" I said through sobs, sitting down beside him, not caring that I was getting blood on my pants. "Man, you look so messed up!"
"Gee, thanks, Conlon!" He pretended to joke but it was no mystery that neither of us knew what we were going to do about him. I was too weak from being thrown against the wall and my ribs felt broken. Jackson was obviously in no condition for walking to the hospital. "I'm gonna die."
"No, you ain't gonna die, you can't," I was scrunched over with the pain in my ribs and the misery that gripped onto my body. Jackson for once in my life, looked like a boy. It's always been his scolding and lecturing that made him seem so old. Now, he looked helpless with his droopy face. He looked like a boy and he WAS a boy, only nineteen, only six years older than me. He should have another sixty years in front of him; he couldn't die, not at nineteen.
"Yea, I am. I'm freezing cold Spot," his bottom lip quivered.
"Don't mean nothing."
"I never knew his name, Spot," I looked up to see what he was talking about. "I look out the windows a lot, wondering where he is. Hoping that maybe I'll run into him at a bar when he's sixteen and I'm thirty- two. Hoping that maybe there's still a chance for us to meet. I like looking out windows, Spot."
"I know; I see you looking a lot. Seen you look at the stars plenty too."
"That's another thing. His mother loved stars; Trisha said that if she had a girl she'd name her Star. I don't suppose she'd name a boy Star as well. You know the Orion Belt?" I nodded to his question. "You know how it looks like it has four corners outside the three in the middle?" I nodded again. "While she was pregnant, she said that the three in the middle was our family. And the four corners was the outline of our future home. I always liked the idea of that." He fell quiet and spoke again, "He looked like you for some odd reason."
"Maybe we're really brothers," I said, just to be saying something. He looked up from his trance.
"You've always been like a brother, no matter what an ass you were." We both smiled. Another tear trickled down my face at the thought of being loved and having something close to a family. Then another came, and then another, as I realized I may lose him. "Conlon, you okay?"
"Are you?" We were both quiet, as he looked himself over.
"Yea, I'm fine," he said despite what we both knew was true.
"Then I am too." No smile, no frown, just peace.
"Spot Conlon," his voice came back to be light and faded. "You're the Brooklyn leader." I knew what he was saying but I wouldn't accept it.
"No, don't even give me that shit."
"You're the best for it. They'll listen to you-"
"I don't want to hear it Jackson!" I yelled. Behind me I heard the trampling of feet but I didn't turn around to bother looking. The boys were back from chasing away Donald's gang. One asked if he was okay, and one moved forward saying that they better get us to the hospital.
"Conlon, I'm leaving…" I shook my head some more, "…don't argue." Jackson took a deep breath and wriggled a chain out from under his shirt. On it was a mysterious looking key. It felt cool and heavy as he pressed it into my palm.
"What's it to?" I asked. Jackson looked like he was about to answer when his brow suddenly furrowed and his breath stopped. With a passing breeze, his head tilted over his shoulder. "Crap," I muttered. The newsies surrounded us tugging on Jackson's arm to pull him up. Someone scooped their arms under me and I asked me if I was alright. I didn't answer him, instead I yelled at the boys who were carrying Jackson.
"He's dead! Can't you see that he's dead! There's no point in going to the hospital!"
"What about you, little man, you okay?" The one carrying asked. "That's what I thought."
"I'm not a little man. Put me down Cassidy," he did as I told him to, " I'm the new leader now, he told me-"
"Yea, we heard," said Sparks.
"Alright boys. Thanks, for running the gang out of here. Look, we're going to have a funeral for Jackson. We ARE going to the hospital, after all we need a place for the body," I glanced at Jackson in Sparks' arms. "I'll get my ribs bandaged and only a few of you need to come. The rest of you go back to the house. It's been a long day." They all stood there starring at me and I wondered why Jackson appointed me leader. They weren't listening to me like he said they would. Maybe I was being too nice. "Go on! Get out of here, before I soak ya bums! Jackson says I'm leader and that's the way it is. None of you better have a problem with it or else I'll knock your blocks off!" I wasn't sure how I was supposed to do that with my ribs but they seemed to believe me because they started scattering. "Cassidy and Sparks, you stay and help us to the hospital."
"Sure thing boss." Cassidy's comment was a little ironic considering he was nearly twice my size.
June 25, 1897
I stepped out of the lodging house that summer morning buttoning up my gray tux. Actually it was Jackson's and its sleeve covered my hands. My ribs were a little sore and I had a bandage around it, yet there was no way I was about to miss this important day. The boys were waiting outside for my cue to go.
"Looking slick Conlon," Fish attempted a smile. He was my age but a lot bigger looking.
"Well, only the best for Jackson, only the best," I returned to smile. "C'mon boys, don't wanna be late!" They moved like one, like a crowd, and they fell behind me as I walked. After all, I was the new leader; I was going to lead them from now on. Their heads hung low and their eyes were all spacey looking. I don't believe they ever been to a funeral before. I know I haven't.
The cemetery was a quiet area. The grass was wet from the morning dew and there were plain tombstones sticking out of the ground. Burroughs from all over came, Manhattan, Queens, Bronx, and Harlem, they were all there. The priest gave a sermon of a sort, some religious thing they always did at funerals. Then we all had a chance to say whatever we wanted to say about Jackson and what we missed about him, how much he meant to us, that kind of stuff. The boys turned to me to say something. I knew I couldn't do it, that I might breakdown in front of them. Then my respect would be gone if they saw their leader whimpering. I shook my head and glared at them, daring them to ask me again.
"Hey Conlon!" A familiar voice called after the funeral. Everyone was eating the snacks and serving themselves to the drinks. I couldn't imagine why someone wanted to talk to me at the time.
"Jade?"
"Hi, Spot. How are you?" She asked nervously, if you can recall our last encounter was anything but pleasant. I could tell she changed; she looks more open and friendly now. Her strawberry hair was tied in ribbons but she still wore pants like she always did. She seemed taller too. I suppose living in Queens did do her some good.
"I'm fine, you?" I thought I'd hate her if I saw her again. Somehow, I was actually glad to see her. Maybe it's because Jackson always liked her and now that he was gone I felt it necessary to take his place.
"I'll miss him. Kind of wish I stayed."
"Don't you like Queens?"
"Yea, I mean, I wish I stayed for Jackson," she corrected herself. "Spot?"
"Yea?"
"You still mad at me?" She smiled; the conversation was taking a familiar turn.
"Nah, everyone makes mistakes. Well, you didn't really do anything, but you get the idea."
"Yea," she nodded. "Well, I better get back, selling papers, you know." I watched her wave to her friend and telling her she'll be right there.
"Hey, stay out of the refuge, you hear? Gotta take care of yourself, Dodger Charlie ain't exactly responsible."
"Believe me, I know. Besides, Spot, I always got the Brooklyn leader to bust me out right?"
"Yea…right!" Jade's a cute girl; I'll miss her. Next time I feel like blowing up at someone younger than me, I'll think of her. Spot Conlon, the leader of the Brooklyn newsies will not hurt anymore little kids. I think I'll visit Queens someday to see how she is doing. I wonder what happened to Dolly, I haven't seen her at the funeral. When I get the chance I'll check up on her too and ask about her current boyfriends. All my future girlfriends will be compared to her spunk and her beauty…and her loyalty. Of course, I'll come back to visit Jackson too, leave some flowers and say a prayer. I'll tell him how his boys are doing; how I took care of every one of them because I knew he wanted me to. I'll make sure to look over their shoulders and keep them out of trouble the way he did with me. Forever, I'll always be there for them to come to; I'll always be loyal. If they don't listen, then I'll pound them. My boys are going to be disciplined and it'll all be for Jackson; for Jackson I'll be loyal.
THE END