~~~~~~~

I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with everyday
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is You

~~~~~~~~

"Is this going to take long, Sonny?" Alexis asked, brushing past him.

"No, I just want you to know--"

"You're going after full custody of Kristina," she finished for him.

A frown came across his face. "Did Ric tell you that?"

"No, it was a lucky guess. But it's all you ever say to me - that is when you're not insulting me or calling me names. Can you just call me a bitch now and leave?" she sighed.

His eyes narrowed at her cruelly. "Actually Kristina isn't the reason why I'm here," he began, the same creepy smile coming across his face. Alexis couldn't remember the last time she had seen Sonny look like this. He was detached. His face blank, but cold at the same time.

"Ok, Sonny," she began anxious to get him out of her room. "I can see you're really eager to tell me whatever it is that has you so excited. So go ahead, spill." She clasped her hands in front of her and waited for his response.

"Sonny, get the hell away from her!"

Alexis and Sonny both turned to see Ric standing in the doorway. Sonny couldn't have planned this better. He turned his cold smile back to Alexis.

"I was just leaving. I just wanted to tell Alexis one thing."

"Sonny--" she began.

"Your precious Ric slept with Reese last night."

The room grew eerily quiet and her focus stayed on Sonny and the heartless smile on his face. He was actually proud that he told her. Ric stared at the back of Sonny's head in shock. Just like that, his option to tell her himself was taken away and it was no one's fault but his own. God, Ric hated Sonny again in that moment. He had told her. And he told her in order to hurt her. He was so cruel. Ric didn't realize how much until that moment.

"Alexis," Ric began.

Alexis didn't bother to look at Ric. Her deadly gaze still on Sonny. Sonny's smile began to fall as soon as the words were out of his mouth. It had been a long time since she was able to read him, but he had the decency to look ashamed. And in that moment, she hated them both and Sonny knew it. Whatever detachment he had, came and went and his eyes welled with unshed tears in turn. It was as if he realized what he had done.

"You need to leave now," she told Sonny calmly. He opened his mouth to respond, but she held up her hand. "No need to be proud of yourself, Sonny. I already knew."

His eyes darted to her again in surprise. He felt like he was going crazy. He should have been happy that Alexis and his brother were on the outs. He should have been ecstatic that Alexis was obviously hurting and miserable. He was hoping that by causing Alexis misery it would alleviate his own, but he didn't feel better at all. In fact, he felt worse. He needed a drink he decided and began to walk out of the room without another word.

Ric glared at his brother as he passed by. "How could you?" he whispered hoarsely.

Sonny shrugged in return. "That's something you should ask yourself, little brother," he told him and left Ric alone in the room with Alexis.

Why was he so surprised that Sonny already knew the truth and that the first thing he would do was confront Alexis with it? Ric glanced at Alexis and felt like his heart was being squeezed in a vice. "Alexis--"

The anger that Jax knew was at the surface finally emerged. "I have nothing to say to you," she told him angrily. "Why are you even here, Ric?"

"I wanted to talk to you. To tell you myself what happened last night. I did something that I will regret for the rest of my life."

"You seem to do that a lot."

He tilted his head to the side in question.

"Do things you regret," she clarified for him. His mouth opened to respond, but she beat him to it. "First there was the whole panic room thing, then it was you poisoning Elizabeth, then not telling me that you knew about Kristina's paternity for months, and now this." She shook her head at him sadly. "I blame myself," she absolved him. "I thought you had changed. That you loved me."

"I do love you, Alexis."

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" she asked him undeterred.

"What?" He felt like he had been punched in the gut.

"Reese. How long have you been having an affair?"

"I'm not--"

"Was it after Kristina was returned? While I was in to London? Or was it as soon as you saw she was falling for Sonny?"

"I haven't been having an affair with Reese or anyone, Alexis. It was one night. One horrible stupid night that I will regret for --"

"Again with the regret," she muttered. She turned away from him and walked towards the small bar to pour herself a glass of water. "I want you to pack whatever you have at the apartment and get it out. Nothing has changed. You just verified that the decision I made last night was right. We need to get a divorce."

"Alexis, I'm so sorry. I was drunk . . ."

"Stop," she interrupted crossing her arms across her chest. "I don't care to know the details. I was stupid to believe that you ever cared about me, but my eyes have been opened." She laughed bitterly. "And to think I was going to ask you if we could work things out. But you know what, Ric, it's fine. I mean I am the one that wanted the divorce, right? I guess I didn't realize how anxious you were to get out of this marriage."

Ric bowed his head as he bit his bottom lip trying to control his unshed tears. The impact of what he had done continued to grow more and more. He shoved his hand into his pant's pocket and clasped onto her heart necklace tightly.

"I am so sorry, Alexis," he whispered. "I won't stand here and beg because there would be no point. Nothing I do will ever take back what I did. I know that I hurt you and that I have no right to ask for forgiveness. I was so stupid and miserable and there is no excuse for what I did . . . but I love you," his voice cracked.

"Don't," she began.

"I wish we could go back," he told her quietly, wiping away at his tears.

"To when, Ric? When exactly did we go wrong because I've been thinking about it and we never were right. We've been on the wrong end of the road since the day we met and it was inevitable that we'd crash and burn."

"You don't mean that, Alexis."

"Then you tell me, Ric, when were we right? The reason you started to pursue me was to get to Sonny. True or false?"

"It st--"

"We became friends even though secretly all it was to you was a way to get to Sonny. Kristina became sick and you were a friend to me, Ric, that's not a lie and maybe at that point you cared about me and Kristina."

"I did care, Alexis. More than you know."

She continued speaking over him. "And then you proposed. Why? To keep Kristina away from Sonny. We stayed married, had a few good weeks and then I found out you had been lying to me for months. You didn't deny it and in fact you even tried to place part of the blame at my feet."

"That's not--"

"I still wasn't sure what was going to happen between us and then Kristina was kidnapped and I found out I was pregnant. And then we were together again," she snapped her fingers for effect. "Just like that. In all of that Ric, you tell me when exactly was our relationship on solid ground."

"When I fell in love with you," he told her without hesitation.

"And when was that? When you found out I was carrying your child? I have a sneaking suspicion that if I weren't pregnant we never would have stayed together."

The tears were streaming from both of their eyes and Alexis was hugging herself tighter that he had ever seen.

He wiped away at his tears as he stepped closer to her. They were a few feet away from one another, but it felt like miles. "I love you more than I thought I was capable of loving anyone, Alexis. I screwed up and I regret what I've done. If you hate me right now, I know I deserve it, but I am still in love with you and I will always love you."

"You love Kristina," she smiled at him sadly. "You love this child we created. You love this little family we put together. And in your own way, I think maybe you love me too. You love me as a friend and you're grateful for this child . . . but you're not in love with me. And I think if you were honest with yourself, you would know that I'm telling you the truth. I can't spend the rest of my life with that knowledge, knowing that I'm in love with someone who doesn't feel the same for me."

"Alexis, you're wrong, sweetheart."

"If you were in love with me," her voice cracked. "You wouldn't have done what you did. Our relationship, our marriage, our friendship, it's over. Whatever little trust I had in you is gone. You've done what, in the back of my mind, I always knew would happen. You broke my heart, Ric."

He watched her sadly, the tears streaming down his face. "I'm so sorry, Alexis. I am. But you're wrong. I am in love with you. You've got to believe that if anything."

"I don't. I don't believe it." She took in a shaky breath. "I think you should leave now."

"Alexis, please . . ."

"Ric . . . you need to leave."

He nodded sadly and turned around to exit her room. "I'm not giving up," he told her quietly before he closed the door behind him.

Alexis stared at the door for a few moments and she bit her bottom lip trying to stop her tears. She clasped a hand to her mouth, but the sob that was threatening to escape came anyway.

She was alone once again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ric paced the lobby dejectedly. He had broken her heart. After protecting it for so long under lock and key and walls so thick that they were high near impenetrable, she had let him in. And in thanks, he broke the most precious gift she could have given him – her heart. His hand once again clutched the necklace in his pocket. He had to get her back.

He walked over to the reception area to request another hotel room. He needed to stay near Alexis. He needed to talk to her again. When the hotel staff told him that he was no longer welcome at the hotel, Ric began to project his anger at himself onto others. He refused to leave the Metro Court even after he was told that they would call the police. He kept shouting that he needed to be near his wife. He was shocked when a hand came to rest at his elbow. His eyes darted to the source of contact and was surprised to see Reese at his side.

"What's going on, Ric?"

He angrily pulled away from her grasp. "You tell me, Reese," he told her as he eyed her coldly. He walked away from the staff's prying eyes and Reese followed him. "I thought you didn't want Sonny to find out," he told her crossing his arms across his chest.

"What?"

"Sonny. I thought you didn't want him to know what happened between us."

"I don't!"

"Then why did he just tell Alexis?"

"He told Alexis?"

He simply nodded. "Unfortunately for Sonny, she already knew. She saw us, Reese."

"Oh God, Ric. I'm sorry." The realization that Sonny knew finally hit her. "Oh God, Sonny! What am I going to say to him?"

Ric shook his head at her. He really didn't care.

She bit her bottom lip. "Who could have told Sonny?"

"That would be me," came the voice from behind them.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Jax walked in and saw Alexis standing in the middle of the room looking devastated. "Alexis? Sweetheart? What happened?" he asked her concerned as he made his way towards her.

Her eyes darted to his face, her vision blurry due to the tears. "Sonny came by," she finally answered him. "And then Ric showed up."

Jax's cursed under his breath as he placed a comforting hand on the side of her face. "I'm sorry, Alexis. I shouldn't have left you alone. I should have known better."

She shrugged softly. "It was bound to happen," she told him.

Jax took her arm and led her to the bed so she could sit down. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her taking note of her relatively calm demeanor.

She laughed humorlessly. "Well Sonny stopped by to tell me that my husband cheated on me and he wasn't too happy when he realized I already knew."

Jax shook his head angrily. Sonny just made it to his shit list. So much for keeping the peace before the wedding. "And Ric?"

"Ric. Ric wanted to tell me what happened last night himself. That it was a mistake and that he loved me."

"And do you believe him?"

"Does it matter?" she asked him curiously. "Yesterday we agreed that we didn't trust each other. We agreed to divorce and then he went and slept with someone else. How am I supposed to trust him ever again? He kept trying to explain, but I didn't want to hear him. I told him that he never loved me."

"Do you honestly think that's true?" he asked her after a moment.

She shrugged slightly not answering his question. "I can't do this anymore, Jax. One after the other everyone leaves me."

"I'm still here," he told her hugging her to him tightly.

"I still love him," she confessed softly laying her head on his shoulder. "Isn't that sick?"

"The heart wants what it wants, Alexis. You can't change that."

"I thought he was it. The one. I thought I'd never be alone again . . . and now I'm right back where I started. Is it possible to hate someone as much as you love them?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I think it is."

"I don't know what's worse, loving him or not loving him . . . How can I stop loving him, Jax? I think that hurts even more -- not having him in my life at all." She rubbed her forehead tiredly. "I'm giving myself a headache."

Jax kissed the top of her head and gently pushed her shoulders back so she could lie down on the bed. "You need to get some sleep that's what's wrong."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." She settled back and lay on her side. She grabbed his hand as he sat on the edge of the bed next to her. "Thank you for being here for me."

He blinked back his own tears. "I'll always be here for you, Alexis. I haven't been such a great ex-husband and I'm so sorry about that. But all that's going to change."

She smiled at him as he kissed the back of her hand.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Ditto."

He brushed back her bangs. "Viola called me. Nikolas wanted to know if he could have an overnight visit with Kristina."

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea."

"I'll call her back and let her know."

"Maybe they can stop by here first? I want to see Kristina and I want Nikolas to find out what happened from me not someone else. And knowing this town, I'm sure everyone will know by nightfall."

He smiled at her amused. "I'll call Nikolas and have him stop by before he takes Kristina to Wyndemere. Get some sleep, ok?"

He rose from the bed and made his way toward the door.

"Where are you going?" Alexis asked him suspiciously.

"I need to take care of some business."

She sat up slightly noting his dark look. "Jax . . ."

"They're both going to pay for this, Alexis. Starting with your husband. I'm going to kill him," Jax told her simply.

"No, you won't," she told him with a raised eyebrow. "My baby needs his father. No matter how much of a pig he is."

"Fine. Then I'll just cause some major bodily harm. Sonny too."

"Jax, don't. I can't go down to the PCPD and bail you out right now. You can do it tomorrow."

He grinned at her and she finally smiled back.

"Promise?" he asked happily.

"No," she laughed.

"Fine. I'm going to find you some lunch then." He glanced at his watch. "Make that an early dinner. Don't open the door for anyone," he told her as he stepped out the door.

"Believe me, I learned my lesson," she whispered to herself.

Jax walked out of the suite and saw one of the bellhops walking in the opposite direction. "Hey!"

The bellhop froze in place at the Australian accent. Jimmy couldn't believe it, Mr. Lansing had ratted him out. He turned around to face his employer and walked over to him quickly.

"Yes, sir?"

Jax noted his nametag and slapped him on the shoulder. "How would you like to make an extra $500, Jimmy?"

"Are you serious?" he asked practically jumping up and down.

"I want you to stand right here," Jax told him placing him in front of Alexis's door. "And do not, I repeat, do not let anyone in aside from me. Can you do that?"

"Sure, no problem."

"If Sonny Corinthos or any of his men come by, call security. If DA Lansing stops by, do the same thing."

Jimmy winced at the name. He was more worried about Mr. Lansing than the mobster. Behind this door was his wife and from the looks of him this morning and just a bit ago, nothing was going to keep him from her.

"Don't disappoint me, Jimmy."

He stood up straighter. "No, sir."

"Good. I'll be back soon. I need to go find a few people," he muttered under his breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"Carly," Reese began, her eyebrows lifted in surprise. "You told Sonny?"

Off their surprised looks Carly smiled happily. "I saw the two of you last night at the bar and I followed you up to Ric's room. I mean, I had to tell Sonny that his newest whore was sleeping with his brother. What kind of ex-wife would I be if I didn't?"

Ric's angry glare focused on Carly. "Sonny told Alexis."

"So?" she shrugged uninterested. "You just said she already knew. And as much as I hate Alexis, she deserves to know what kind of sleaze her husband is. And Sonny deserves to know how big of a skank you are," she told Reese.

"You had no right," Reese told her angrily.

"Do not get preachy with me Agent Marshall. I'm not the one who slept with a pregnant woman's husband, that was you. I'm not the one who slept with Sonny's brother, again that was all you. If this is the beginning of your downfall to get your sanctimonious ass out of town, then good riddance." Carly walked away from them after giving Reese another dirty look.

"Oh God, what am I going to tell Sonny?" Reese began nervously.

"I don't care about Sonny!" Ric shouted. "All I care about is Alexis. She'll never forgive me for this."

"Does it really matter?" she huffed. "You were planning on getting a divorce anyway."

"We could have worked things out," he sighed running his hand through his hair. "But after this . . ."

"After this, you'll be lucky if she ever speaks to you again."

Ric turned his eyes to Jax.

"I can't believe you have the audacity to come back to my hotel for another go-around," he told them angrily.

"I came here to see my wife," Ric told him in the same tone.

"Yeah, she told me what happened. That's why I want to speak to you." His eyes went to Reese. "Alone."

"Yeah, fine," Ric nodded quickly.

"Ric, I--" Reese began.

Ric turned to Reese again. "Look, Reese, I'm sorry Sonny knows for your sake, but the only thing I'm worried about is my wife. I can't help you." With that being said, he turned back to Jax. "Lead the way."

Jax turned on his heels and headed for his office and Ric followed him wordlessly. Once they arrived at Jax's office, he let Ric in and shut the door behind him. Ric turned to face him and was greeted by Jax's fist. Ric stumbled back a bit and grabbed his jaw wincing at the added pressure. He wasn't surprised Jax hit him and was shocked he had restrained himself in the lobby. If the tables were turned, he wouldn't have been able to wait.

"The only reason you're still breathing is because Alexis asked that I don't kill you," Jax told him angrily. Ric's eyes darted to his face in surprise. "Before you get excited, it wasn't for her benefit or yours. It was for your child's."

Ric nodded slightly flexing his jaw. "Look, I don't know how much Alexis told you, but what happened last night was a stupid horrible drunken mistake and I regret what happened. The last thing I wanted was to hurt her."

"But you did, Lansing."

"I love her," he told him honestly.

Jax looked Ric over trying to decide if what he was about to suggest wouldn't be more harmful to Alexis. "For whatever reason, and God help me if I'm wrong, but I believe you."

Ric looked at him hopeful. "You do?"

"Yeah," Jax sighed.

Ric licked his lips quickly. "Why-why are you telling me this?"

"Because I'm going to help you. For some reason, Alexis saw something in you that no one else did and she fell in love with you. You hurt her. You broke her heart. But up until a few weeks ago, Alexis has been happier than I've seen her. She hates you right now . . . but she still loves you."

"She wants to work things out?" he asked quietly.

Jax put his hand up to stop his line of thinking. "She hasn't said that," he told him. "But if I know her as well as I think I do, she will."

Inside, Ric rejoiced. "Thank you for doing this," he told him.

"Don't thank me yet. If Alexis tells me that she no longer wants you in her life, I'll make damned sure that happens."

"I get it."

"And if you hurt her again, Lansing, you will pay severely."

"I won't, I swear it. Alexis is my life now . . . I can't lose her."

Jax nodded his head slowly. "Don't make me regret this, Ric."

"You won't." Again he clutched her necklace in his pocket. "You won't."

Part 4

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