~~~~~~~

Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad

So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time

~~~~~~~~~~

Jax stared at Ric silently for a moment. He questioned himself again for the umpteenth time if he was making the right decision. He didn't want to hurt Alexis anymore than she already had been, but did that mean keeping Ric from her or helping them find their way back to each other?

Ric could see the internal struggle going on with Jax. He needed his help; there was no uncertainty about that. But he knew that nothing he did or said right now would sway Jax in either direction.

Jax finally sighed deeply and sat on the edge of his desk. He gripped the edge and eyed Ric curiously. "This isn't going to be easy, Ric. You have two major problems as far as I can see. I don't know the exact details, but you and Alexis decided to divorce last night and from what I understand, Alexis was the one to suggest it. Whatever it is that caused her to lose trust you in you is still there and you hopping into bed with Reese didn't help that situation out. Your drunken night didn't make your problems go away, it just multiplied them by a thousand."

Ric rubbed his forehead tiredly. It was a never-ending fallout.

"You need to give Alexis space right now. If she decides to forgive you, it's not going to be overnight. You hurt her and that's going to take time for her to get past - if ever. But she does love you so that's one thing working in your favor."

Ric nodded slightly. He knew Jax was right.

"And obviously you have your own issues with Alexis. Your trust in her faded too. And from what I understand you're both talking, you're just not listening. Alexis isn't blameless in your marriage, Ric, I know that. She's not perfect and she would be the first one to admit to that, but you're going to have to work twice as hard to get to the point where you can talk out your issues. And if you can do that," he shrugged slightly not finishing the statement. "Bottom line - you need to learn to trust one another again."

"She didn't trust me about Sonny," Ric told him after a moment. "But I don't care about him right now. My main concern is getting Alexis back."

"And if she asks about Sonny?"

"I'll tell her the truth. A relationship with him, whether good or bad, doesn't mean anything to me right now. I won't choose Sonny over her. She's the only one I'm loyal too."

"And how long will that last?"

Ric stared at him blankly.

"Look, I know it must be hard for you on some level. My brother Jerry is no longer in my life because of decisions he and my father made, but it doesn't mean that I wouldn't want to have him back in my life again. He's my brother," Jax shrugged. "I would like to have a relationship with him, but I can't have it and that hurts. Alexis can relate to that as well. She loved Stefan like mad, but when he made decisions that hurt her and Nikolas, she had to give him up. And that killed her, but she felt she had no choice. Would she love to have him back? Without a doubt, but that can't happen."

Ric nodded his head slightly contemplating his words.

"I think in this case, as long as Sonny continues doing what he does - living the life the way he does - Alexis will fight him. She'll fight him because she will protect her daughter at all costs even if it means losing you. She'll sacrifice her own happiness for her children's safety. So it's either a relationship with Sonny or Alexis."

"Alexis will win hands down. Every single time -- Alexis will win." Jax nodded his head satisfied with his answer. "I appreciate this, Jax," Ric told him honestly.

"You owe me that's for sure," he grinned. "But I want Alexis happy and that means you so there you go . . . Maybe you should go home for now."

Ric snorted. "I have no home," he told him quietly.

Jax looked at him slightly sympathetic. "Look, I know the front staff said they wouldn't give you a room, but that was on my order. If you need your room back I--"

"No," Ric interrupted quickly. "No, I don't want to see that room again."

Jax nodded his head. "Sorry. I'll have another one readied for you. You're welcome to stay as long as you need to."

Ric nodded slightly. "Yeah, thanks."

Jax pushed himself off of the desk and headed for the door. "I need to find my future brother-in-law. I have a few words for him as well."

Ric's eyes darkened in anger as he stepped next to Jax. "He tried to hurt Alexis."

"I know. I'm sure he's none too happy with you either, Ric. I mean you did sleep with his girlfriend or whatever it is she is to him."

"It doesn't matter. I can handle Sonny. The only thing I need to focus on is getting Alexis back in my life."

"Good," Jax slapped him on his back more forceful than necessary. "By the way, Nikolas is on his way over so I'm sure he'll want to speak with you as well."

"Great," he sighed. "I'm going to be bruised up for a while."

"Yeah," Jax grinned in return. "Not to mention Ned and maybe Luke Spencer too. And I, of course, have the right to pop you another if I see fit."

Ric shook his head slightly. "And don't forget Alexis."

"Of course. She's just too mad to actually follow-through right now," he grinned.

Ric followed Jax out his office and put his hand on his arm to stop him. "Thanks, Jax. I mean it."

"She loves you, just keep remembering that and don't give up. Make my ex-wife happy, that's all I want."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Alexis was becoming restless sitting in the hotel suite. She didn't know if her emotions were out of control due to the pregnancy hormones or what. One minute she hated Ric Lansing and the next she wanted him to show up at her door and ask for forgiveness again. But if that did happen, would she forgive him or would she slam the door in his face? Even after their breakup, he was still driving her mad. She felt anything but numb right now. She was beyond angry, but she was so hurt. Two of the many thoughts running through her head were "Why?" and "How could he?".

She rubbed her belly as her thoughts continued to stray to Ric. "Your daddy is an idiot," she said aloud. "A big fat idiot . . . but he's my idiot."

She began to bite on her thumbnail ruining her manicure in the process when there was a light knock at her door.

"Ms. Davis, room service," the muffled voice followed.

She made her way to the door and looked through the peephole just to be certain. She could see two hotel staff on the other side and Alexis opened the door to let them in.

"Thank you," she told the woman once she finished pulling off the various covers.

Alexis reached for her purse, but the woman stopped her. "Mr. Jacks has taken care of everything," she told her.

Alexis smiled at her and noticed the other hotel staff member still outside in the hallway. It was then that she realized it was the same bellhop from last night. She bit her lip trying to remember his name.

"Jimmy?" she finally remembered. "Is that you?"

Jimmy turned to her with a goofy smile on his face. "Y-yes ma'am," he stuttered.

"I didn't realize you worked with room service as well."

"Well, I don't, not really."

"Oh?"

She watched as the woman who had delivered her meal leave the room silently and Jimmy continued to remain standing where he was. She shook her head as she realized what was going on.

"Don't tell me Jax is making you stand guard outside my door."

His face reddened slightly. "Um . . . yes, ma'am."

She shook her head in amusement. "Did he tell you who you were protecting me from?"

"The mobster and your husband. Although, honestly, I'm more scared of your husband."

A delicate eyebrow went up in surprise. "Why do you say that?"

Jimmy cleared his throat looking out into the hallway before he turned his eyes back to Alexis. "Well he's been worried mad about you since this morning."

"Worried or afraid?" she muttered under her breath.

Jimmy continued on, not hearing her concealed comment. "Before I came up here, I heard that they were gonna call the cops on him because he wouldn't leave the hotel."

"What?"

"He kept saying he wasn't leaving cuz he had to be near his wife. And this morning he looked like he was gonna cry when I gave him the envelope you left him. Which was all kinds of weird cuz I've never seen a grown man cry before."

Alexis smiled thoughtfully at Jimmy's remarks. "Why don't you come in for a few minutes and have some dinner with me."

His eyes widened in surprise. "N-no thank you, ma'am. Mr. Jacks insisted I stand out here."

"I'll speak to Mr. Jacks if he says anything to you. Come on in," she urged him again. "I could use the company."

Dude, she was totally hitting on him!

"You can tell me more about my husband," she smiled.

Or maybe not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ric found Sonny sitting at the Metro Court bar. He took a seat next to him and ordered a mineral water never once acknowledging his brother.

"I suggest you get the hell away from me if you want to keep breathing," Sonny told him quietly while staring into his drink.

Ric shrugged slightly before taking a drink of his water. "Do what you have to do, Sonny. It can't be worse than losing my wife."

"You deserve to lose her," he told him in a harsh whisper. "Was it worth it?" he goaded.

"No," Ric told him quietly.

They were silent for a moment, but Ric needed to say his peace. "Look, Sonny, I'm sorry I di--"

"Don't. Don't apologize to me. I'm still trying to figure out if I should kill you or thank you for doing what you did."

Ric furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"You showed me that Reese is capable of betrayal. I mean she slept with my brother, ya know? Or should I kill you for doing what you did?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So I take it the entire hotel knows what's going on?" Alexis asked Jimmy as she munched on some of the popcorn that Jax ordered for her.

Jimmy looked down at his lap, embarrassed to admit to the fact. What had happened with Mr. Lansing and his wife was the day's gossip around the hotel. "Yeah," he told her softly. "Sorry."

"It's not your fault," she told him with a shrug. "So what's the word?" she asked him curiously.

"Ms. Davis, ma'am, I don't--"

"No, it's ok, really. I want to know. And please -- call me Alexis."

Again another blush came across Jimmy's face and Alexis couldn't help but grin at him. He was too cute for words. She tilted her head to the side and realized that he reminded her of Zander in a way. She guessed it was due to his eyes and the dark floppy hair. Alexis was curious to know Jimmy's perspective on the whole situation. He had been exposed to Ric more during this time than her.

"Well, if you're sure, Ms. Davis -- I mean Alexis."

"Yeah. I'm sure half the town knows by now, you might as well let me in on all the gory details."

He shifted in his seat uncomfortably as he took a sip of the water she had offered him earlier. "Um, well . . ."

"Come on, Jimmy," she smiled at him revealing her dimple. "Spill."

He licked his lips quickly as he began his story. "Well according to Dean, he's the bartender that was on staff last night, Mr. Lansing was completely wasted last night."

"How wasted?" Alexis wanted to know. It didn't excuse his behavior, but she wanted to know how far gone he really was. According to Luke's call he was barely standing on his own and if he came back here and drank some more, he had to have been completely out of it.

"When he came in, Katie -- who thinks he's like the hottest guy in town -- was workin' the front desk at reception and said that he could barely make it to the elevators on his own two feet. She thought he was goin' up to his room, but he went upstairs to the bar instead."

Alexis nodded continuing to munch on the popcorn. If she took herself out of the equation, it was quite a riveting story.

"So anyways, Dean didn't want to serve Mr. Lansing cuz he was already drunk. But Mr. Lansing insisted and bought a bottle of scotch."

Alexis winced at that, again according to Luke, Ric had managed to almost empty an entire bottle of scotch on the Haunted Star. How the hell did he not to pass out?

"Dean said the FBI lady came in a while later and she was totally plastered too. She and Mr. Lansing drank practically half the bottle of scotch. Dean was getting ready to close the bar when they left and Mr. Lansing actually knocked over a couple bar stools when he was leaving cuz he was so smashed. Dean was impressed that he could hold that much alcohol without passing out," Jimmy told her in an amused tone. He quickly cleared his throat after her eyebrow went up. "So after all that, no one really knew what happened until this morning when Mr. Lansing freaked out."

"How do you mean he freaked out?"

"Well like you asked me to last night, I delivered the envelope you left him. We talked for a second, but it wasn't until I got back downstairs that I found out that the FBI lady and Mr. Lansing were seen going into his room."

"Who saw them?" Alexis asked him curiously.

Again Jimmy shifted in his seat. "I think it was the mobster's wife."

"Carly?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know her name. Really skinny blonde lady."

"Yeah that's Carly," Alexis muttered. So that was how Sonny found out.

"So anyways, when I got back downstairs I saw Mr. Lansing leave the hotel in a real big hurry. He didn't even have the bag he packed! The dude was totally goin' nuts. And that's when Katie told me that he and the FBI lady were--" he stopped and cleared his throat. "Well after she told me that, I remembered that Mr. Lansing wasn't looking so good when I was talking to him upstairs. I'm telling ya, when I first saw him he looked like he was gonna cry. Which again, you know, weird. And when I told him you were here last night, he totally looked like he was gonna pass out."

Alexis smirked at that. Good. He deserved the pain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You don't have room to talk, Sonny," Ric began angrily. He had sat there and listened to Sonny talk about betrayal committed against him by everyone around him including himself and Alexis. Ric couldn't take it anymore. Betrayal was such a crime to Sonny, but he was guilty of the act every day. "You went upstairs to purposefully hurt Alexis. What kind of man are you? I was drunk, it's not an excuse, but you - you did what you did for the sheer pleasure of causing her pain."

Sonny was silent for a moment. "Yep," he finally answered. "After everything she put me through - she deserved it."

Ric was the one tempted to kill now. "You know what, Sonny? Go to hell. I hoped we could have some sort of relationship, but I'm finally starting to see that that's never going to happen. Alexis and I agreed to divorce last night because she thought that I would put you ahead of her and our family. The sad thing is, Sonny, maybe she was partially right. I wouldn't have chosen you over her or the children, but I probably would have continued to help you as much as I could. Ever since Faith admitted that she was the one that pushed Elizabeth and caused her to miscarry -- I've been feeling guilty as shit. I always blamed you. I thought you were the one that pushed her and I snapped. I kidnapped Carly--"

"You need to shut up now," Sonny told him angrily.

"You need to let me finish," he countered in the same tone. "All of this massive guilt I felt because I made you suffer just because I wanted you to hurt like me. That's why I've been trying to help you, Sonny, to alleviate my guilt. But losing Alexis, losing the family that I've wanted for as long as I can remember - you're not worth it. I realize now that as much as I'd like to see the part of you that our mother saw. The part of you that was the deciding factor in her choosing you over me - I can't do it anymore. Our mother will live on in me, in Kristina, and in the baby I created with Alexis."

"After what you did Alexis won't want to have anything to do with you."

"Maybe," he sighed sadly. "But maybe not. I'm in love with her and I know she loves me too. If we can get past this, we'll be stronger in the end."

Sonny snorted in answer. "She hates you, Ric," he finally grinned at him.

"She hates you too, Sonny. She never hated you. Not when you called her names or threatened to break her. And as much as you'd like to think that she kept Kristina a secret from you to spite you - she did it to protect her daughter not because she hated you. Not even after the kidnapping, Sonny, she never hated you. But after today. After what you did she hates you . . . and so do I."

Ric tossed a few bills onto the bar and walked away leaving Sonny alone to contemplate what he had told him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And why were the police about to be called?" Alexis continued to question Jimmy, the entire bowl of popcorn now gone. Jimmy had regaled her with the goings on of Ric the past night and the only thing that struck her mind, was that everyone was surprised that Ric was still walking around conscious by the end of the night.

"He didn't want to leave you," he simply told her. "He loves you a lot, Ms. Davis. Sometimes guys do stupid stuff. I know I do all the time. What Mr. Lansing did was all kinds of wrong, but if he regrets it and he still loves you . . . maybe you guys could still work it out."

She couldn't help but smile at him remembering when her world was so blissfully naïve. "You're a sweet guy, Jimmy."

He shrugged embarrassed. "No. I just like seeing people happy, you know?"

"Yeah, I know," she told him sadly.

"And if I can say so, Mr. Lansing must have been seriously smashed for him to cheat on you with that other lady, cuz she's got nothing on you."

A slow blush crossed his face and once again Alexis's dimple made its presence known. "You're very sweet for saying so, thank you."

"Ms. Davis - Alexis - can I ask you something?"

"I think it's only fair since I've been the one doing the questioning so far."

"Do . . . do you still love Mr. Lansing?"

Her eyes widened at his question. "I--"

"It's ok," he interrupted. "I think I know the answer," he licked his lips quickly. "But if you guys still love each other, why are you getting a divorce?"

"It's complicated, Jimmy," she finally told him. It was the truth after all.

"Man, I'm never getting married," he told her with a shake of his head.

"Don't say that. It's not that bad."

A soft knock came at the door and Jimmy jumped up from his seat. "Oh, god, Mr. Jacks is gonna kill me." A much softer single knock followed as Jimmy rushed to the door. There on the other side were Nikolas and Kristina.

Kristina squirmed out of Nikolas's arms and rushed to Alexis. "Mama!" she squealed happily.

Alexis met her half way and engulfed her in a hug. "Hello, baby! Oh god, I missed you so much," she told her as she kissed the top of her head.

Jimmy slipped out of the room silently with a smile on his face as Nikolas came and joined Alexis and Kristina.

"Thanks for bringing her over," Alexis told Nikolas with a sad smile.

"It was no problem. Thank you for letting me spend some time with her."

Alexis nodded her head as she carried Kristina over to the bed. "So what did you do all day, baby?"

"Saw Wic Daddy."

Alexis's eyes darted back to Nikolas and he simply shrugged. "That's all she's been saying since I picked her up. She wanted to know where her Mama and Wic Daddy were."

Alexis's eyes welled with tears and Kristina began to pout. "You no cry too," she told her mother. "Wic Daddy cry, I makes betters."

"You saw Ric, Sweetie?"'

"Wic Daddy," she nodded.

"Kristina, you saw Ric or Daddy?"

"Wic Daddy," she repeated. She touched Alexis's stomach. "Wic babies daddies. Wic mines daddies too."

This time Alexis couldn't keep her tears in check as she hugged Kristina to her.

"Wic no mines daddies?" she asked her softly against her shoulder.

Alexis didn't know what to tell her. She closed her eyes and spoke the truth. "Yeah, baby, Ric's your daddy too."

"What's going on, Alexis?" Nikolas finally asked her softly. "Why are you staying here?"

"Ric and I are getting a d-i-v-o-r-c-e," she told him as she caressed Kristina's back.

"What? Why?"

Alexis quickly wiped away at her tears and set Kristina down on the bed. "Did you bring her Lamby?" she asked Nikolas.

"Yeah." He began to dig though the bag he had brought with him and pulled out Kristina's favorite toy.

"Sweetie, be a big girl and play while I talk to Nikolas, ok?" she told her as Nikolas handed Kristina her Lamby.

"Big girl," Kristina repeated. Alexis kissed the top of her and led Nikolas further away from the bed. Kristina began to play with her stuffed toy as Alexis began to fill him in on what had happened.

"He did what?!"

Kristina looked up in surprise at the sudden outburst, her curious eyes focused on Nikolas and her mother.

"It's ok, sweetie, keep playing," Alexis told her with a smile.

Kristina looked at her for another moment before continuing to play with Lamby.

"It's more complicated than it seems to be," Alexis told him with a sigh.

He looked at her for a moment before shaking his head and moving towards the door.

"Whoa! Where do you think you're going?" she asked him grabbing onto his arm.

"I'm going to find Ric."

"No, you are not. Look this is between me and Ric, ok? I can handle this."

"Then why are you hiding here?"

She frowned at his statement. "I'm not hiding. Jax suggested I stay here for the night and I took him up on his offer. Nikolas, what's done is done. Ric and I have to deal with the fallout."

"You're going to take him back?"

"Nikolas," she began. "It's not that simple. We agreed to divorce last night because the fact is we can't agree on certain things."

"But you still love him?"

"Yes," she told him honestly. "I hate him for what he's done, but yes I still love him."

He rubbed the back of his neck as he soaked in the information. "Up until this, he has been . . . decent."

She couldn't help but smile. "That's very generous of you to say considering your history."

"He was making you happy. That's all I wanted and I think Uncle Stefan would agree."

She bit her bottom lip and hugged her nephew.

"Whatever it is you decide, Aunt Alexis," he told her holding her tightly, "I'll support you."

"Thank you," she whispered.

Unfortunately, Alexis didn't know what she was going to decide. Cut the man she loved out of her life or try to work things out with him? She squeezed her eyes shut as she clung to Nikolas. Why was this so difficult? If it were anyone else she wouldn't even consider a reconciliation. But this was Ric. The man she was in love with her. The father of her children. Her eyes opened and focused on Kristina playing on the bed happy and unaware. She sighed heavily as the day continued to wear her down. She hated the bastard, but she loved him just the same.

"Why can't my life be simple for once?" she asked aloud as she and Nikolas parted.

"Because life isn't easy," he told her with a grin.

"It seems like I'm always being reminded of that," she sighed.

"Alexis, if you need a place to get away for a while, why don't you stay with me at Wyndemere? There's no one there aside from the staff and myself."

She smiled at him softly. "That's very sweet of you to offer, but I'll be going home tomorrow. I just needed to clear my head tonight. I'll be fine, I promise."

He looked at her closely for a moment. "You're the strongest woman I know, Alexis. I know you'll be fine, but if you ever need help, you can always come to me."

"That goes both ways," she told him, placing a hand to his cheek. "I'm going to spend some time with Kristina before you take her to Wyndemere."

"Ok. I'm just going to make a few phone calls. I'll be right outside if you need me," he smiled.

She smiled in return and made her way towards Kristina. Nikolas watched them for a moment before slipping out the door.

Now where could he find Ric?

Part 5

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