~~~~~~~~~~

I used to think that anything I'd do
Wouldn't matter at all anyway
But now I find that when it comes to you
I'm the winner of cards I can't play
Wait for me, wait for me
Darling, I need you desperately, desperately here

And I'll find a way to see you again
And I'll find a way to see you again

~~~~~~~~~~

Jimmy glanced down at his watch when he heard the beeping of his set alarm go off. His shift was over. He sighed deeply and continued to stand where he was. He was exhausted, but he wasn't going to leave until Mr. Jacks told him he could. He thought back on the past two days and shook his head slowly. Things couldn't get any more drama filled.

"Jimmy."

Or maybe they could.

Jimmy froze when he saw him. "Mr. Lansing." He shifted on his feet uncomfortably. How the hell was he supposed to stop him from seeing his wife? He couldn't call security, they'd be too slow. "I'm sorry, Mr. Lansing, but you can't go in."

Ric nodded at him sadly. "I know. I just wanted to see if you would give Alexis something for me."

It was then that Jimmy noticed the bruise forming along his jaw line and the split lip on the other side of his mouth. "Whoa, what happened to your face, Mr. Lansing?" he asked him curiously.

Ric licked his bottom lip thankful that the bleeding had finally stopped. "I just ran into a few people who weren't very happy with me." One bruised jaw courtesy of Jax and one busted lip courtesy of Nikolas.

Jimmy stared at him wide-eyed.

"Jimmy," Ric began again. "Can you give this to my wife?"

Jimmy glanced about nervously. He knew he shouldn't, but Mr. Lansing looked so depressed. He felt for him. "Mr. Lansing I don't--"

"Jimmy, please."

He finally nodded in agreement. "Ok."

Ric handed him a sealed envelope similar to the one Jimmy had delivered for Alexis. Jimmy took it and put it in his back pocket. "My shift is up, but I'll give it to her before Mr. Jacks comes by."

Ric nodded and opened his mouth to say something, but quickly changed his mind. "Thanks, Jimmy."

Ric knew that he needed to give his wife space. He knew she needed time to process what was happening. But he needed to let her know what was going on in his head. He needed her to know that he loved her.

"I'll see ya around," Ric told him turning back to the elevators.

"Yeah," Jimmy sighed sadly watching Ric walk away. "See ya."

~~~~~~~~~~~

The soft knocking at the door stirred Alexis awake. She glanced at the clock and noted that it had been over an hour since Kristina and Nikolas had left. She padded her way to open the door and smiled at Jimmy.

"More gossip?" she teased him.

"No, ma'am," he grinned in return. "But I do have a package for you." He handed her the envelope and the smile on his face widened. "It seemed urgent, otherwise I wouldn't have woken you."

She took the envelope from him and smiled her thanks. "Thanks, Jimmy."

"Night, ma'am."

"Goodnight."

Alexis gently closed the door and made her way back to the bed. She reached for her glasses that were sitting on the nightstand and pulled out the contents of the envelope.

She recognized his handwriting immediately.

She closed her eyes and contemplated whether she should read the letter or not. Curiosity got the better of her and she looked down at his neat handwriting. She gave into temptation and began to read his words.

Dear Alexis,

I am praying that even though you're tempted to burn this letter, you read it instead. I am so sorry that I hurt you, it was the last thing I wanted to do. I know that I'm the last person you want to see right now and I will give you all the time and the space in the world for as long as you need. But I also want you to know that I'm not going to give up.

We have our issues, aside from the horrible mistake I made last night, but I honestly feel like we can still work through all of this. While I was at the Haunted Star the only thought going through my head was that we could still work things out. Tomorrow. I kept repeating tomorrow because I was going to come to you and see if we could try to work things out. For the first time in a long time, we listened to each other, Alexis. For weeks now we talked and talked but neither of us listened. We need to keep listening.

We have our faults, we have our wrongs, but we still have love between us. I know that you don't trust me right now and I have no one to blame but myself for that. But I want to be able to earn your trust once again. I know it's hard to hear right now and I know that you don't believe me, but I love you. I love you so much, Alexis, that I don't know what I did to deserve you in my life. You have made me happier than I have the right to be. I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, but that's what I'm doing anyways. I love you. If there were no Kristina. If there were no baby, I would still love you.

I'm not Jax. I can't sweep you away in a jet and fly you to Paris for dinner and dancing. Hell, you'd probably push me out of the plane if I tried that right now.

Alexis snickered amused despite herself. He was right.

I will be here, day in day out, I will not give up, Alexis. On us, on you or me. You were right before. I am flawed, you are flawed, our marriage -- in its own ways -- is flawed, but that's what makes it so special. We are complicated people, so we have a complicated marriage. But it's something worth fighting for. You may not believe that right now, but I do. I believe it enough for the both of us.

Love you always
Ric

Alexis made her way to the trash bin in the bathroom and reached her hand out to discard the letter, but her hand continued to clutch it tightly. She couldn't let it go. She returned to the main room and searched for her purse. She folded the letter tightly into small pieces and shoved it into the bottom of her purse. She didn't want to think about it right now. She was still too angry and hurt. But she also knew Ric was right. She knew that he loved her, that's why it hurt so much. Jax's earlier words reverberated in her head. The heart wants what it wants.

God help her, her heart wanted Ric Lansing.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Ric paced the Metro Court restaurant nervously. He hadn't seen Alexis for almost a week, but Jax had assured him that he had a breakfast date with her for this morning. Even if she refused to speak to him, just seeing her once again would alleviate his distress. He sat at the bar and ordered a Bloody Mary. It was too early to drink and after his last bout with alcohol, it should have deterred him, but he needed something to calm his nerves.

As he sipped the cool drink, his wife and Jax walked in. She was . . . glowing. Ric's eyes traveled over every curve of her body. Yeah, it was easy to say that Alexis and pregnancy agreed with each other. The thought that he always wanted to see her like this floated through his mind. His Alexis barefoot and pregnant. He snorted at his own thought. That would never happen. Ric shook his head slightly. It had only been six days, but it felt like six months.

Jax slid her chair out for Alexis, her back to the bar. Jax pulled out his own seat and his eyes flickered to Ric. He was insane for doing this. Alexis was sure to kill him once she realized that he was helping her husband. But Jax wanted her happy. And if that meant loving Ric Lansing, then so be it. He focused back onto Alexis as his eyes danced across her face. The same thought on Ric's mind as well as his. She was glowing.

"Thank you for having breakfast with me," he smiled at her.

Her eyes softened in return. "I needed to get out," she told him softly. "I miss, Ric," she admitted after a moment.

"Thank you for having breakfast with me," he smiled at her.

Her eyes softened in return. "I needed to get out," she told him softly. "I miss, Ric," she admitted after a moment.

"I know you do, sweetie and maybe that's a good thing."

"What do you mean?"

"Maybe the two of you can still work things out."

Her eyes darkened at his words. "He cheated on me, Jax," she told him in disbelief.

"I know, Alexis. He's an ass for doing so, but he does regret it. And the bartender told me he was barely conscious when he left that night."

"And that makes it ok?"

"No, not at all," Jax backtracked. Maybe it was too early for this discussion. "I'm simply pointing out that you yourself told me that you had irresolvable issues and that you told him you were going to file for a divorce."

"So he didn't cheat on me?"

Jax rubbed his forehead. This was not going the way he expected. "Alexis, sweetheart, I'm simply saying that your issues with Ric go beyond him cheating on you. And the fact remains that the two of you still love each other. Maybe, over time, you can begin to work things out."

"And maybe one day, pigs will fly."

"And maybe one day you'll stop missing him," he grinned at her.

Her eyebrow went up. "Touché. How are the wedding plans going?" she asked him, changing the subject.

His eyebrows knit in confusion. "The wedding has been postponed, Alexis. You know that."

"What? Why?"

He didn't answer her and his eyes skimmed the restaurant landing back onto Ric. He looked miserable he noted. He frowned slightly. That made him surprisingly happy and sad at the same time.

"Jax," she interrupted his thoughts. "Why are you postponing the wedding?"

"I'm not getting married while my best friend is in pain, even if she refuses to admit it."

She stared at him in disbelief. "Jax, you cannot cancel your wedding because of me. I'm fine, believe me." She smiled at him brightly trying to prove her point.

"You may fool the rest of the world, Ms. Davis, but you can't fool me. I know you're miserable."

Her smile fell. "And so what if I am? You still can't cancel your wedding. I'll feel twice as bad if you do."

He finally grinned at her. "No."

She rolled her eyes at him. "Jax. Get. Married. Besides I need somebody else to be the focus of attention. If you get married my marriage problems will be old news."

He laughed lightly in response. "I won't be married unless my favorite ex-wife is there, so I have to delay."

"Who said I wouldn't be there?"

"Alexis," his voice grew serious.

"What? I'm not ashamed to show my face . . . or are you ashamed of me?" she questioned.

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Good," she smiled. "It's settled. This time next week your," she paused counting her fingers. "Your fifth, technically fourth, marriage will be official."

"Speaking of marriage," he began tracing the rim of his glass of water.

"I don't want to talk about Ric."

"Why not?"

"There's nothing to talk about."

"So you don't miss him or love him?"

She wouldn't answer him and began to peruse her menu instead. At the bar Ric continued to watch the pair intently and from the looks of things, it appeared that Jax was trying to talk to Alexis about him. Ric took another sip of his drink and sent a silent prayer asking that this turn out to be a success and not another disaster.

"Alexis," Jax began again. "Let's say this thing with Reese didn't happen."

"It did happen," she interrupted slamming her menu down on the table. Ric winced at Alexis's obvious anger.

"I know," Jax continued, "but humor me here. If this hadn't happened, what drove you to get this divorce?"

"Sonny," she told him after a moment. "Ric doesn't think he's a danger to Kristina. That was the sole reason we married in the first place, Jax, to keep Kristina away from his world. And it seems that ever since the kidnapping, he's helped Sonny out every chance he gets."

Jax frowned slightly at that. "So why did he do a 180?" he asked her softly.

"I don't know, that's the whole problem."

"Did you ask him?"

Her mouth opened to respond, but snapped shut after a second. "No."

"No," he repeated. "Alexis, I'm the last person on this earth to defend Corinthos, but . . . he's Ric's brother."

"What are you trying to say, Jax?" she asked him not liking where their conversation was heading.

"Maybe you should ask Ric why he's been helping Sonny. In his eyes there could be a good reason."

"If there was a good reason he would have told me."

"Would he?" he asked her sincerely.

Her eyebrows knit in confusion at her friend.

"He knows how you feel about Sonny," Jax began softly. "Maybe he felt you wouldn't understand."

Alexis tilted her head to the side contemplating his words.

"We both know what it's like to have brothers that others don't approve of. And honestly, I sometimes feel I can't talk about Jerry because no one would understand. All they would see is a man who laundered dirty money for the mob . . . maybe Ric feels that he can't talk to you about Sonny for the same reason. Maybe he feels that you wouldn't understand. He's had issues with him since the day he could talk most likely and I'm sure over time his feelings for Sonny have changed and changed again. That's a lot for a person to process on their own. Especially when they feel that they can't talk to the person they love about it."

Alexis stared at him for a moment trying to process what he was telling her. "If that's true, Jax, then he should have talked to me because he loves me."

Jax raised an eyebrow at her. "Do you believe that? Honestly, Alexis? If Ric came to you and said that he wanted to talk about Sonny and why he felt that he should be a part of Kristina's life and why he himself wanted to be in his life, would you have listened and not judged and not think he wasn't siding with you?"

She couldn't answer him because she knew her answer would have been 'no'. Anything having to do with Sonny automatically put her on edge and if it would have come from Ric, she wouldn't have been able to put her feelings to the side to truly hear him.

"The two of you love each other," he told her grasping her hand. "And I'm the last person to give marital advice, but maybe the two of you need to start talking and listening to the other. He was making you happy, Alexis, remember that."

She nodded slightly and once again turned to her menu. But the words were blurring together and the only thought on her mind was Ric.

Jax's eyes traveled to Ric again and he gave him a small nod. Ric took in a deep breath and released it. He didn't know what Jax had told her, but he knew it was another step in the right direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After her breakfast with Jax, Alexis decided to get some air and took a short walk through the park. She sat on one of the nearby benches and closed her eyes letting the sun warm her face.

"Ms. Davis."

Alexis's eyes popped open at the sound of his voice. The last person she expected to see was standing before her. "Mr. Alcazar," she acknowledged him.

"May I?" he asked motioning to the empty space on the bench she was sitting on. She moved closer to the end as he sat down. "Beautiful day isn't it?" he politely pointed out.

Alexis rolled her eyes ala Courtney Matthews. "Is there something I can do for you?" she asked him calmly.

He smiled and tilted his head to the side. "Funny you should ask that for I was about to offer the same."

"Pardon me?"

"I heard about you and Ric, my deepest apologies."

"Uh huh and why exactly are you apologizing?"

"No woman - especially no pregnant woman - deserves what happened to you."

Alexis snorted, very unladylike, but she snorted anyway. "I just joined a club most women in this town already belonged to."

"True. The men around here are disloyal aren't they?"

"All except you, I presume?"

At that moment Reese Marshall walked by a few feet away from them. It was the first time Alexis had seen her since seeing her in Ric's room.

"She wouldn't have the audacity to come over here," Alexis muttered loudly.

"Apparently she does," he told her in return.

Reese approached them and stood before Alexis, her arms crossed across her chest.

"You have quite a lot of nerve coming over here."

The words were spoken before Alexis could blink and she turned her head to Lorenzo wondering why he was defending her.

"You sleep with a pregnant woman's husband and you feel the need to show your face to her. Why? To apologize?"

"I don't see where this is your business, Mr. Alcazar," Reese began.

"I suggest you stay far away from Ms. Davis and her family."

"Are you threatening me?"

"No, just a word of advice. You've made quite a few enemies, Agent Marshall, remember that."

She scoffed lightly with a shake of her head. "Like who? You?"

He nodded his head after a slight moment of contemplation. "Yes, among others such as Mr. Jacks, Mr. Cassadine, and even Mr. Lansing. Not wise Agent Marshall. Not wise at all."

She ignored him and turned to Alexis. Alexis had been enjoying Lorenzo informing Reese of the veiled threats and was in no mood to have a conversation with the woman.

"Alexis, can we talk?"

"I think Mr. Alcazar has said all that needs to be said. You've made an enemy that you don't want. Ask him," she said tilting her head towards Lorenzo. "I killed his brother. Don't forget that."

"Is that a threat?"

Alexis shrugged a shoulder nonplussed. "Take it any way you want. I'm merely stating a fact."

Reese watched her in surprise and walked away when she began to rub her swollen belly.

"Why did you do that?" Alexis asked him after a moment.

Lorenzo shrugged, neither of them looking at the other. "Agent Marshall deserves to be miserable. You . . . you do not."

Alexis turned to him quickly in surprise. "Thank you?" she smiled.

"It was my pleasure," he smiled in return.

"I should be on my way," Alexis started rising with slight difficulty from the park bench. Lorenzo followed suit, unsure if he should assist her or not. She stood on her own and turned back to Lorenzo. "Have a nice day," she told him and began to walk in the opposite direction of Reese.

"Good day, Ms. Davis," he smiled and watched her walk away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He wasn't stalking her. He just happened to know her daily schedule like the back of his hand. So when he followed her from the Metro Court to the park it really could be seen as a mere coincidence. A mere awkward coincidence.

"Hi," he greeted her softly, his eyes drifting up and down her body. His entire body ached for her.

"Hi," she replied as her eyes did the same to him. Had it really been six days since this nightmare began? She still missed him, more and more everyday.

Ric's eyes shifted to a nearby park bench and then back towards Alexis. "Can we sit down for a second?" he asked her softly.

"Ric, I don't--"

"Please? Just for a second?" he implored.

She finally nodded and made her way to the bench. They sat on either ends, the space between them huge - physically and emotionally. The awkward silence was growing as the seconds ticked by. It had never been like this between them, Alexis thought to herself. Even when he was pursuing her with less than honorable intentions, the silence was never so awkward. Her sadness grew at the truth.

Ric licked his lips quickly trying to wet his dry mouth. "Did you get my letter?" he asked her quietly.

Alexis clutched her purse to her side. It was still sitting at the bottom folded into small pieces. She had changed purses four times since that night, but his letter always made the transfer along with her wallet.

"Yes," she finally answered him. "I read it."

Ric rubbed his hands on his lap trying to do away with his sweaty palms. "Thank you for reading it."

She shrugged lightly. "I was tempted to burn it," she told him honestly.

A small smile tugged at his lips. "I know." He knew that would be the case when he was writing it. "How are you feeling?" he asked her when she didn't respond further.

"Good," she admitted. "Real good. Kristina's good. I'm good. The baby's good. It's all . . . good." She winced at her own words. Damn him. Why couldn't she just fall out of love with him as easily as she had fallen in love with him? "How about you?"

"I'm good, too. You know besides being jobless, homeless . . . wifeless . . . I miss you," he told her.

Her eyes darted away from him. This was why she was avoiding him like the plague. It was too soon to compartmentalize all of her feelings.

"Where have you been staying?" she asked him changing the subject. Inwardly, she kicked herself. She didn't want him to think she cared what he was doing. But she did care. She cared a lot.

"The Metro Court," he told her with a small smile.

Alexis's eyebrows went up. Jax never mentioned that Ric was staying at the Metro Court. "Oh," she finally replied. "I thought you had checked out of your room."

How would she know that, he asked himself, unless she was looking for him? "I did. Jax rented me another room."

"Oh," she repeated again. She was still to raw with emotions to deal with this. She needed to distance herself from him again. "I--I should be going now," she told him quietly.

His heart sank, but he didn't want to push her. "Ok," he answered in the same tone.

She stood, once again struggling slightly, and Ric shoved his hands into his pockets to keep himself from touching her. He found her necklace in his pocket and clutched it tightly leaving the imprint of a heart on his palm. She turned to leave, but stopped mid-step.

"Why did you do it, Ric?" she asked him not turning around.

His heart began to thump wildly in his chest. The question he dreaded, but knew one day would come landed at his feet.

"Why did you sleep with her?" she turned back to face him. Her face didn't show any emotion, but inside she wanted to scream and cry.

"Alexis--" he began.

"I need to know what happened. Why it happened. And don't even think about saying 'I was drunk'. Everyone has been using that excuse since this whole mess began it's just not going to fly this time. What happened, Ric?"

He looked down at his feet and blinked quickly, his eyes stinging with unshed tears. He looked back at her and let out a breath. "I--I was miserable," he confessed after a moment. "I was angry, I was hurt, and most of all I hated myself for not giving you a bigger fight. I felt that I gave up too early and let you walk away without trying to get you to stay . . . the last thing I wanted was a divorce. I thought we would fight some more, about Sonny or whatever, but I never thought it would become what it did."

He cleared his throat and clenched his hands into fists remembering that night. "Whenever things fall apart in my life, I self-destruct and I single-handedly destroy my life as I know it. I thought that if I got drunk enough, it would make the pain go away. You can't miss something you never knew existed and if I drank enough maybe I could forget. So I drank, but I couldn't forget. So I drank some more and everything just started to blur and then for a minute, for a miniscule period of time - I didn't hurt anymore . . ."

Alexis blinked back her tears. She wouldn't cry for him. Not this time.

"I remember Luke kicking me out and calling a cab. I remember going through the lobby at the Metro Court because it felt like I was walking the hallway from the Shining because it seemed like it went on forever. I remember getting in the elevator and pressing the button for my floor, but I never got off. And I remember the elevator door closing and opening again to the bar. I remember I bought another bottle of scotch after the bartender gave me a hard time . . . and then I woke up. I thought I was in bed with you and there was no more pain. And then I opened my eyes and my stomach dropped to my feet and I knew that I had fucked up beyond belief." He took in a deep shaky breath and quickly wiped away the tears that were falling. He looked at his thumb for a moment staring at his tears and finally turned his gaze back to her. "That's all I remember, Alexis. I don't remember leaving the bar with her. I don't remember going up to my room. I don't know what happened. I swear to you if I could take it back I would. I never wanted to hurt you. Never. Too many people have done that to the both of us and I didn't want to be on that list . . . I love you," his voice cracked.

"I know," she told him after what seemed like forever.

They both remained silent for a moment.

"Did you like it?" she finally asked the question that was burning in the back of her mind. "Being with Reese, did you like it?"

"Alexis, please-" he pleaded softly.

"I need to know."

"No, Alexis. God, no I didn't like it!" he told her vehemently. "I hate that it happened. I hate myself for it. She's not you, Alexis. She's not you by a long shot. The only thought that I had when I woke up was that I needed you, no one else. I wanted my wife. I made a stupid, stupid mistake that I will regret until my last breath. You hate me right now and you have every right to . . . but I love you," his voice came out a barely audible whisper.

She nodded slowly processing everything he had told her. Why didn't she feel better?

"I will always love you, Alexis." He reached out to touch her cheek, but she stepped back away from him.

"Don't -- don't touch me."

His eyes stung and his arm fell flatly to his side. It felt like all of the air in his lungs had been knocked out of him. She didn't want his touch.

Her eyes darted about the park. Everywhere but at him. "It's too soon, Ric. I need time to process all of this. I need . . . I need time."

He nodded his head silently, still speechless.

"I'll see you around," she told him and walked away without another glance. As soon as she turned away, the tears began to fall freely from her eyes. The fact that she instinctively turned away from his touch killed a little piece of her. She was already rebuilding her walls to keep him away, whether she wanted the protection or not.

Ric fell back onto the bench and leaned his forearms onto his legs. His hands were roughly pulling at his hair. "Oh God," he moaned. "Please help me."

The tears began to fall from his eyes when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up in surprise at the contact.

"You ok?"

Part 6

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