RIGHT OR WRONG

There are many false assumptions that people make about women who are abused.

WRONG. Spouse abuse can happen to anyone. It does not matter how old you are, what income bracket you are in, what religion you believe, your race or your level of education. Abuse happens across the board.

It is true that more moderate to low income women seek help from public agencies, and upper income victims usually seek help from private sources.

WRONG. There is a close relationship between alcohol and drug use and battering. But alcohol and other drug use does not cause violent or abusive behavior. Studies show that 25% batter whether they have been drinking or not. Studies also show that abuse has a stronger link with alcohol use than with drug use.

What is true is that stopping the use of chemicals will not necessarily stop the abuse. Counseling for drug or alcohol problems will not stop the problem of wife abuse.

WRONG. There may be a small number of batterers who fit the legal definition of mental illness, but abusers usually score normally on psychological exams.

What is true is that mental illness is an easy excuse. It makes us feel better to view batterers as different from the rest of us. But usually it is not the case at all.

WRONG. No one wants to be emotionally or physically abused by her partner. Staying in the relationship has much more to do with emotional ties, traditional values about marriage and parenthood, fear, money or the lack of it, and religious beliefs.

What is true is that not leaving your partner means that you are asking to have a loving, fulfilling relationship with someone you care about and chose as a partner.

WRONG. If you think you did something to deserve your abuse, you are not alone. Traditionally, a woman's role has been keeping her mate and children comfortable and happy. The assumption, therefore, is that when a man in unhappy enough to hit his wife, she must have done something wrong. That is not true.

What is true is that abusive behavior is learned. Batterers are often taught from early childhood to use violence as a means of solving problems or coping with stress. Many batterers witnessed their mothers being battered and / or were abused themselves. You do not cause your mate to be emotionally or physically abusive.