may consider. Listen to your heart. Remember there is no rush to do any of these things. Take
your time & go at your own pace. You will know when the time is right.
Album
Create a baby album for your son or daughter. Include a locket of hair, identification
bracelets, birth cards and anything else you desire. If you have other children, allow them to
write their feelings and thoughts in the album.
Donations
Offer a donation on behalf of your child. Many organizations will send thank you cards when
you do. Be sure to include this in your baby's album. We requested that memorial donations be
made to the March of Dimes in lieu of flowers. They sent us a nice card letting us know who
had donated so we could thank them. I have saved the cards.
Pictures
Allow yourself to purchase special frames for your baby's photographs and allow yourself
to hang the pictures in your home if you are comfortable with that. You may choose a particular
wall where many family pictures are displayed to include your baby's photos. We have a
small picture of Cristin on our bookcase with Cassidy’s pictures, with it I have put other
momentos. I knew I did the right thing when Cassidy pointed to Cristin’s picture and asked her
friends, “Do you want to see a picture of Cristin? She is my baby, she is sooo cute!” It
did take me some time to put up her picture ( I had tried several times unsuccessfully to put it
up-each time I went into a crying spell that lasted all day)-it is painful at first but now I can
look at it and be thankful for what little time I got to share with her.
Locket
There are many beautiful lockets which you can purchase for a picture of your child. Choose
something very special which you can engrave a message to your child on, such as "You are
always in our hearts 5-17-99"
Ring or Charm
Purchase either with your child's birthstone. It is a wonderful and eloquent way to remember
them. I have a little guardian angel I wore to most of my ob appointments with
Cristin that I often wear now to remember the kicks & hearing her heartbeat-the happy things that
happened when I was wearing it. Cassidy & my mother also wear one.
Keepsake Memory Box
Keep a memory box with your child's items in it. Such items might include a blanket from the
hospital, booties, your baby album, stuffed animals, medical records from your birth,
sympathy cards from friends and family, and any other memorial items you may have.
A Garden
We received many plantable flowers from Cristin’s funeral. We planted them in a special
garden for her & plan to put a little plaque out there saying “Cristin’s Garden”. I find myself
going out onto the porch & just looking at the flowers. I can stand there for so long,
appreciating the beauty of the flowers & remembering her.
Special Donations
Make a donation of books or toys to your local hospital’s pediatric ward. You can even
include a card laminated in the front of the book stating that this is done in memory of your
child. We have bought coloring books, crayons, and toys & crafts that bedridden children
can do & have donated these to the pediatric ward of the hospital Cristin was at. If you have
an older child, he/she may enjoy helping to pick out these items. This can work for any
organization. Nursing home patients often need donations of simple items or maybe even large
print books. You can make a big difference to another person.
(c) 1996, 1998 by Joanne Cacciatore, an excerpt from the MISS website or the
book "Dear Cheyenne" at
All Rights Reserved, Do Not Reprint without Express Permission from the Author
Adapted by Jennifer A. Shaffer
In loving memory of Cristin Claire Shaffer
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