WELCOME TO THE AIRLINE HUMOR PAGE!
EVERY MONTH WE'LL UPDATE THIS PAGE WITH SOME AIRLINE HUMOUR!
Occasionally, flight attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight announcements" a bit more entertaining.
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this plane
Pilot "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land ...it's a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it might affect the flight pattern".
After landing : "Thank you for flying with us, we hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride".
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, oxygen masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with two small children, decide now which one you love more."
"As you exit the plane, please make sure that you have gathered all your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed amongst the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.
"Last one off the plane must clean it."
From the pilot during his welcome message "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry.... unfortunately none of them are on this flight.
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy, which required the first officer to stand at the door whilst the passengers exited, smile and thank them for travelling with the airline. In light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking at passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had left, except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" Why no, Ma'am" said the pilot. The little old lady said, "did we land or were we shot down?
