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Missing You "Oh baby, I'm missing you." Nick's voice said hauntingly. I let the message play. It was basically the same as all the others, him saying...he missed me. How he felt bad about the break up and he needed to speak to me. He needed to feel me again. Never once did he acknowledge why I broke up with him. Later that morning, I found myself reading another e-mail from him. "I've been checking all the places where we use to go. Been looking for your face out in the crowds...I've been talking to the people that we use to know, but nobody wants to say where you hung out." Although he did seem sincere, I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with him again. I avoided places I knew he'd be. My friends became worried and decided one night they were going to take me out, if I liked it or not. "You can't be a hermit, just because you're trying to avoid him. Besides, if you were so sure that the break up was the right thing, why do you feel the need to hide from him?" My friend Heather asked. I couldn't speak...deep inside I wasn't so sure if the break-up was the best thing. "Okay...I'll come with you." "That's the Jamie I've known for 10 years." My friend giggled. I got dressed to impress. I knew Nick would be there, although I told myself that that wasn't the reason I got a dressed up. We got to the club, and it seemed as though a million people were packed into one tiny building. The music was bumping, and ironically a Backstreet Boys song was on. "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely" to be exact...I hate when people remix slow, meaningful songs. I made my way to the bar. I sat on a stool and listened contentedly to the song. Memories of Nick and myself flooding my brain. This song had been a very meaningful song in our relationship. I remember when Nick first played it for me...he cried and I stroked his hair. He was so cute when he was sad, I wanted to hold him forever. A tap on my shoulder ripped me away from my thoughts. "Hi." Nick's baby blues sparkled with hesitation. "Hey." I said meekly sipping my drink, my eyes locked on his. "Can we talk?" Nick said leaning close to my ear. I could smell his cologne. I nodded, Nick grabbed my hand, but I pulled away. I could see Nick try to hold back the tears. I followed him out of the club. "I'm missing you...we use to love so strong, tell me where did we go wrong?" Nick asked looking down on me. I couldn't bare to see him in such pain. "Not right here...please Nick." I spoke softly. People were staring at us. Nick alone caused way too much commotion...we didn't need to discuss something so fragile in public. "I still have your pictures hung around my room." Nick sighed as he paced in his bedroom. Giving each picture of us a good glance. "They're the only things that's left of you and me." He said turning to face me. "Girl what can I do, to make you come back soon? And make it just the way it use to be..." Nick took a seat next to me. "I don't know...things have changed Nick. You and I are different now." I didn't meet his gaze. "Or is it someone new?" He asked lifting my head with his hand. "I could never go on with out you!" His desperation, causing me to tremble. "Nick, please. I'm not going to just not date to please you" "Girl, I don't want to think about it." "Nick we both have to move on..." "No" Nick said, his voice getting a little louder. He stood up. "I can't sleep at night, no...this can't be right." Nick ran his hands through his hair. "Come back into my life." Nick pleaded with me. "You're making this way too hard." Tears streamed down my face. "Nick...it's just too much. I love you...I love you so much it hurts. I will always be here for you no matter what. Right now, I need space." My voice cracking... "When I call your phone...seems like you're never EVER home. AND you don't return my calls. It tears me apart, this breaking of my heart." He yelled, both of us now in tears. "Nick it's over. Please, leave it at that." I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I know there's a chance for you and I, and I believe there's no way our love could die." He whispered. "Nick...it's over." I repeated. He looked into my eyes, as if trying to see whether or not I was sincere. "No matter how long it takes I'll wait for you." He spoke softly. He kissed me softly, but with total passion. It seemed like forever, eventually I grabbed my bag...and Nick drove me back to the club, in total silence. Since that day, 2 months ago...I haven't said a word to Nick.Next: Everytime I Close My Eyes |