Chapter Ten -- Let Me Love You
*AJ*
Dropping my bag onto the bed, I flopped down next to it. We’d been on tour only a week, and I was already looking forward to a couple days off. The shows had been good and the fans were great, as always. But I was still used to my down time, and it always took a while for the tour mode to kick in. In a few days, I’d be--
There was a soft knock on the door, raising me from my half-slumber. Groaning, I got to my feet and glanced through the peephole. It was late, whoever it was better make it quick. Squinting, I made out Shannon’s figure at the door. She was carrying something. I quickly opened the door.
“Hey,” I said, surprised. “What’s up?”
“I was out walking, and when I got back up here Nick had fallen asleep. I’m too wired to sleep is it okay if I come in and hang with you for awhile?” she asked, smiling sweetly.
How could I say no? “Sure, come on in.” Stepping back to let her in, I glanced at the folder in her arms. “What’s that?”
“Oh, just some songs I was working on. I don’t even know why I grabbed them. I just--“ Shrugging, she set the folder down on the dresser and glanced around. “I didn’t wake you up did I?” she asked, fiddling with the hotel key she held.
”Nah, I was just looking at the ceiling,” I lied. “What’s got you so wired?” Pushing my bag to the floor, I flopped onto the bed.
“I dunno. Probably the fact that Nick and I played video games on the bus all night last night, and then we went shopping all morning. And then the concert. It’s probably the ten gallons of coffee I’ve drunk today. I don’t think I’ve slept right in the last week,” she said, settling down at the foot of the bed. “I guess I’ll get used to this schedule one day. So, what’s up?” she asked brightly.
I noticed she was barefoot, and that her toes were painted with some sparkly red polish. A toe ring glinted as she pulled her legs until she sat Indian style. Shrugging, I let my gaze travel up her body. “You went walking like that?” I asked.
“AJ!” she cried, shaking her head. “Yeah. I went walking outside on a rainy night wearing nothing but my pajamas. Please.”
Such nice pajamas they were. They looked like they were flannel. The shorts were light pink with little sheep on them, the long sleeved top had a sheep across the chest. Her hair was pulled into a loose ponytail, and my fingers ached to reach and brush the stray strands from her face.
“AJ, you’re staring,” she said, waving her hand. “I know! Do you have any cards?” she asked suddenly.
Cards? “Playing cards? Somewhere,” I said, glancing around. I hadn’t touched my luggage. It was still piled in the corner.
“I’ve got some in my bag. I’ll be right back,” she said, sliding from the bed. Before I could open my mouth to speak she was gone, the door hanging ajar.
Shaking my head, I kicked off my shoes and stood up to empty my pockets. A beautiful woman--the woman of my dreams--was going to be in my room and we were going to play cards. Damn. My lighter slipped between my fingers to the floor, and I turned to see it slide beneath the bed. “Son-of-a...” Getting to my knees, I was reaching under the bed for it when the door thumped shut.
“What are you doing?” she asked with a laugh.
“Dusting, what’s it look like?” Glancing up, my breath caught in my throat. She was gorgeous. And she was making the craziest face I’d ever seen. “I dropped my lighter,” I said, finally grasping it in my fingers. When I reached up to grab the edge of the bed she took my hand, helping me to my feet. Looking down at her, I wet my lips when she squeezed my hand. I could smell her perfume, and she was standing so close I could just feel the warmth of her body. “Thanks,” I murmured.
“Anytime.” Quickly stepping away, she held up the deck of cards triumphantly. “Have you ever played Egyptian Rat Screw?” she asked.
I watched her settle at the head of the bed, expertly shuffling the deck. “I don’t think so. You want a drink or anything?”
“Dr. Pepper. I need caffeine. It’s sort of like War, only the play keeps going back and forth until a face card is played. It’s easier if you learn as you go. Do you have any ice?” she asked as I opened the minibar. “Not that I want any, I just like to know. Sometimes I like to crunch on ice.”
I wondered if she talked this much around Nick. “I think I got a little. I don’t have any Dr. Pepper. Coke, Mountain Dew, Sprite, Jolt--“
“Jolt,” she said. “Is it okay if I turn the TV on? I’ve grown used to it. To think, a couple of months ago I hardly ever watched TV unless I was depressed.”
“Sure, go ahead.” Setting her soda on the nightstand, I handed her the remote. “This game might go better at the table.” I really didn’t want to be in the same bed with her, especially considering nothing sexual was going on. It was bad enough she was in my room and I couldn’t touch her.
“But this is more comfortable. Do you like the Golden Girls?”
“Sure.”
Smiling, she set the remote aside and looked up at me. “Um, AJ, we can’t play until you sit,” she said, patting the mattress.
“Hold up. I’m gonna change first.” Unzipping a bag, I pulled out a t-shirt and some sweatpants. I had peeled off my shirt and unbuckled my belt before it hit me. “Damn, sorry,” I said.
She smiled, getting off the bed. “I’ve gotta pee anyway. That should give you time enough to change.”
I sighed wearily when the bathroom door shut behind her. Sweet Jesus, what was I thinking? There was no way this was going to work. No way could I be alone with her like this. It was too much. Bad enough she was with Nick on the tour, bad enough I had to watch them kiss and cuddle. Bad enough she wasn’t mine.
Mind made up, I yanked on my clean t-shirt. When she came out, I’d tell her she had to leave. Shit, what would Nick do if he found out? No telling how many bruises she’d have. And I really didn’t want to get into a fight with him. I wasn’t scared of him, no way, but he was a big guy.
Turning when she opened the bathroom door, I opened my mouth to speak and closed it instantly. She looked so peaceful, almost happy to be here. She’d pulled her hair down, and it was nice to see her natural waves for once. She smiled, reached past me for her drink and got back on the bed. Damn. Settling across from her, I listened as she explained how to play the game.
We played quietly for a long time, the only sound in the room her triumphant chuckles as she raked in the piles of cards and the chatter from the TV. I wasn’t really focused on the game. The only thing on my mind was how beautiful she looked, how much I loved the pleasant smile on her face, the humorous twinkle in her eyes.
“AJ?” she said, touching my arm. “It’s your go,” she murmured, pulling her hand away.
Shit. Tossing a card down, my arm tingled where she’d touched me. “Nick won’t mind you being here, will he?” I asked softly.
She shook her head, flipping over a card. “He won’t know. He’ll be out for a while,” she said with a shrug. “It’s yours.”
Taking the small stack between us, I straightened it and added it to the one in my hand. “What do you mean by that?” I asked.
She shrugged again. “He had a few drinks. When I left for my walk with Jim, he was watching TV. When I got back he was passed out on the bed. I changed and covered him, then came over here. He was snoring when I went back for the cards,” she said. Sighing, she reached for her soda.
I could tell she didn’t really want to talk about it. Nodding, I let the subject drop. “Can we play a different game?” I asked a few moments later.
“Why?” she asked, looking at me.
“Cuz I’m not winning,” I said truthfully.
Rolling her eyes, she handed me her cards. “You’re choice,” she said. “Are we allowed to smoke in here?”
“Yeah. Go ahead,” I said.
“Okay if I bum one?” she asked sweetly as I shuffled. When I nodded she leaned over to grab my pack off the nightstand. I glanced at her as she lit one, my gaze lingering on the faded bruise on her forehead.
“He hasn’t hit you since we started the tour, has he?” I asked softly.
Her eyes flashed with anger momentarily, but it quickly passed. Shaking her head, she exhaled a stream of smoke, then looked down at my lighter. Running her finger over the design, she glanced up at me. “You know,” she whispered.
“Of course. I’m not stupid, Shannon. The only thing I don’t get is why you put up with it.” I started dealing the cards, still unsure what we were going to play.
“It’s not what you think. He just loses it sometimes, AJ. And he takes his anger out on whatever’s closest.”
“You can’t let him use you as a punching bag,” I said, my irritation growing.
“What are we playing?” she asked, and I knew she was trying to change the subject.
“Rummy,” I said with a sigh. I’d let it go this time.
“He’s different now,” she said softly a few moments later. “Like you said, he hasn’t hit me since the tour started. So maybe he was just stressed out those times before.” Sighing, she picked up a card, glancing at those in her hand before tossing it into the discard pile.
“Just be careful, Shan,” I whispered, looking in her eyes for a moment.
She nodded, smiling slightly. “That’s the first time you’ve called me that,” she murmured.
Was it? The others called her by her nickname all the time, hadn’t I? “Well, hell, babe, if it’ll get you to smile like that, I’ll call you Shan all the time.”
Shaking her head, she reached to flick her ashes. “You’re incorrigible,” she said.
Smirking, I picked up a card and laid it down with those spread next to me. “Maybe so, but I’m winning.” It was good she was laughing again. “Say, babe, how’s about lighting me a cigarette?” I asked.
“What am I, your maid?” she teased, but did as I’d requested. Handing it over, she glanced down at her hand. “You must have stacked the deck. And don’t call me babe.”
“I did not and how come?”
“You must have, cuz I don’t have crap in my hand.” She made a face and tossed down a card. “And I’m not a talking pig who can herd sheep.”
Laughing, I reached for a card, surprised when she covered my hand with hers. “What are you doing?” I asked as she lifted it. She was looking at my rings.
“That’s cool,” she murmured, twisting the silver ring on my pinky. “Is that shamrocks?” she asked, glancing up.
I was enjoying her touch too much. “Yeah. Momma D gave it to me for Christmas last year.”
“It’s pretty.” She smiled slightly, and must have realized she was still holding my hand. Dropping it quickly, she reached for her cigarette. “Sorry. I like rings.”
“It’s okay.” My hand had landed on her thigh, and I knew I should move it. But I didn’t. Setting my cards aside, I lifted my cigarette to my lips and looked at her.
“AJ,” she murmured, shaking her head. “Don’t.”
Talk in everlasting words
And dedicate them all to me
And I will give you all my life
I’m here if you should call to me