Chapter Eleven -- Guilty
*Shannon*
“AJ,” I whispered again, moving to push his hand away. “Please.”
“What?” he murmured, turning his hand to grasp mine. His hand was so warm, so gentle, I almost cried.
“We’re supposed to be playing a game.” Though I had no idea whose go it was. Wetting my lips nervously, I looked in his eyes.
“Shannon,” he breathed, and never before had my name sounded so wonderful.
Shaking my head, I pulled my hand away and picked up my cards again. Taking a final hit of my cigarette, I turned to put it out, my pulse racing. When I turned to face him he’d moved closer, and I sucked in a breath as he leaned past me to set his cigarette in the ashtray. “AJ.” Why was he so close? It was as though he filled the whole room. He was all I could see, all I could smell.
He looked at me for a long moment, a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. Leaning close, he pressed his lips to my cheek, his hand gentle on my arm. “Am I in too deep?” he whispered, and I trembled when his breath ticked my neck. “Have I lost my mind?” he sang softly, looking into my eyes again. My eyes filled with tears when he reached up and gently traced my cheek with his thumb. “I don’t care, you’re here tonight,” he murmured.
Would you tremble
If I touched your lips
Or would you laugh
Oh please tell me this
Now would you die
For the one you love
Hold me in your arms tonight
I knew he was going to kiss me. I knew I should push him away, get out of his reach, but I couldn’t. He cupped my face gently in his hands, looking into my eyes for a long moment. I closed my eyes, felt a tear roll down my cheek, then his lips were on mine. I felt suddenly weak, and could do nothing but grasp his arms, leaning closer to him.
Pulses racing darling
How grand we are
Little by little
We meet in the middle
There’s danger in the dark
His kiss was searching, yet tentative. His hands were soft on me, as though he was afraid I would break. When his arms slid around me I instinctively moved closer, wanting to feel as much of him as possible. This was how it was supposed to be, I thought, sliding my hands up as I returned his kiss.
*AJ*
When I felt her fingers on my neck, I realized her body was pressed against mine. Her tongue ran over my bottom lip and I almost moaned. She felt so right, as though she belonged in my arms. Her arms slid around me, her hands gentle on my back as our tongues danced. When she trembled suddenly, I reluctantly tore my lips from hers.
She opened her eyes, then buried her face against my shoulder. “AJ,” she murmured.
She was crying. “Whoa, babe, don’t cry,” I said softly, reaching up to smooth her hair.
“This is wrong,” she said, and I felt her tense slightly.
“Yeah,” I murmured, closing my eyes as I held her close. I tried to memorize the feel of her body against mine, her arms around me. I knew it may be the only time I ever felt it.
She squeezed me gently, started to move away, but instead settled closer, her lips brushing my neck. When I shivered, she sighed. “I better go.”
Damn, how I wished she would kiss me again.
She lifted her head, looking me in the eye for a long moment. I could see the indecision in her eyes, could see how they’d turned a deep green with something...passion I could only hope. She lifted one hand and gently touched my cheek, smiling softly. Turning my head slightly, I pressed a kiss to her palm, my eyes never leaving hers.
“I really better go,” she whispered.
I nodded. She was right. If she stayed, I couldn’t guarantee I could behave. “Go,” I murmured.
But she didn’t. Sighing gently, she looked away. “What do you say we play a few more hands?”
Smirking, I brushed my lips over hers. “If you insist.” I felt her shiver as I pulled away. Sliding back a little, I cleared my throat and began gathering the cards. “How about for each game I win I get to ask a question, and vice versa?” I asked casually.
“I haven’t played that since I was in junior high,” she said with a laugh. “Besides, you’ll probably win every game.”
“C’mon, let’s be immature tonight.”
Pulling her legs in front of her, she tossed her hair over her shoulder. “Very well,” she said as I began to deal. “How about we play go fish, then for each pair we get to ask a question?” she suggested.
“Wanna be sure and get a few questions in, huh?” I teased. It was great being with her like this. Hell, the kiss had been spectacular, but it was nice, being able to joke around.
She rolled her eyes, and picked up her card. “I’ll go first. Eight?”
Damn. Handing one over, I gave her a smile.
“Woo hoo. Alright. Let’s see. What’s your favorite song from Phantom of the Opera?”
“That’s easy. Music of the Night.”
Nodding, she glanced at her hand. “Deuce?”
I shook my head sadly, chuckling when she made a face. “Three?”
“Oh, man,” she sighed, handing one over. “I shudder to think what you’re gonna ask.”
There were so many questions I wanted to ask her. I decided to start with the basics. “When’s your birthday?”
“February fourteenth.”
“Valentine’s? That’s cool,” I said. “Ten?”
“Nope. Sure it is. Especially when my boyfriends in high school thought it was okay to give me a Valentine’s card and scribble ‘Happy Birthday’ inside.”
“Boyfriends?” I repeated, raising a brow as I reached for a card.
“You’re only allowed to ask one question.” Smiling, she held out her hand. “Queen?”
How’d she know? I handed it over, shaking my head. “Cheater.”
“As if! Is it true you used to hump the stage?”
I couldn’t help but laugh. She looked as though she wouldn’t believe it if I told her the truth. “Yup,” I said. “Hand me a cigarette.”
She tossed me the pack. “Why did you hump the stage?”
“It was during my solo. Back in the day we all did a solo. Mine was Lay Down Beside Me.” Sometimes, I missed doing that. It had been fun to see the shocked looks on some of the older women’s faces.
“Which album is that on? I don’t remember seeing it listed on any of the CDs I was looking at yesterday,” she said, making a face.
“It was a b-side, and you’re only supposed to ask one. So I get two questions.”
“Huh, figures.” She waved her hand in my direction. “Ask away.”
Sighing, I pulled a cigarette from the pack. I had to think. She looked at me expectantly as I lit up. “Hmm...”
“God, AJ. Just ask a question,” she said, rolling her eyes.
Chuckling, I glanced at the TV. A commercial for allergy medicine. “Do you love him?”
She gasped. Damn, I hadn’t meant to shock her. Looking at her, I saw she was looking down at her cards. “If you don’t want to answer--“
”No, it’s okay.” Lifting her head, she looked at me for a moment. “Yes.”
Fucking figured. Clearing my throat, I looked away, one question burning in my mind. But I wasn’t sure I wanted to know the answer. Chewing on my bottom lip, I thought of something uncomplicated. “What’s your favorite color?”
She was silent for a moment, and when I looked at her again she was looking at me intently. “Well?” I asked softly.
“The color of your eyes,” she whispered.
If the world crashes down over me
I know that my life is complete
Cuz I’ve held you in my arms so tight
Now I can’t imagine life
Without you by my side