Our baby was due on December 16th, but my husband John hoped he or she would be born on 13th since that is both his birthday and our little girl Ellen's birthday. The 13th came, and Ellen turned three and John turned 28, but our baby stayed contentedly in my tummy.
By December 15th, with still no signs of labor, I started getting slightly impatient so see my baby. Ellen had come 10 days early, and I didn't like waiting for so long! As the evening came, Ellen had bounds of energy and I
felt tired, so as the night wore on I dozed on her bed while she played in her bedroom. After a while I woke up and realized it was getting close to 11:00 pm, and Ellen was wide awake. Finally, after another failed attempt to help her get to sleep, I told her I didn't feel good (my tummy area had started
feeling achy). She agreed to stay in bed, and I said I'd check on her in a
little while. I went and made my husband's lunch and did a little
laundry. Then I decided to go to bed a little earlier than normal (I
usually would've stayed up later and checked my e-mail).
I thought about how I didn't have much time left alone with Ellen as my
only child. I went and checked on her. She had fallen asleep, so at 12:40
am I laid down beside her, and we slept together for the last time before
our little baby's birth.
I vaguely remember waking up at around 2:00 am to go to the bathroom. I
guess I must have felt somewhat uncomfortable, because I went and laid down
on the bed in our spare room. I awoke again at around 3:40 and went to the
bathroom. When I went to the bathroom I had loose bowel movements and knew
that was a possible sign of labor, plus I seemed to be having mild
contractions. I felt cold, so I turned up the heat. I laid on the bed on
my left side for awhile and finally at 4:00 I went and laid down on the
couch--again lying on my left side--in our family room. After John got up
at about 4:10 to get ready for work, I went and told him I thought I was in
labor.
Since I acted so calm, he didn't realize how real my labor was. He asked
if it was okay if he got on the Internet, since he usually did for a little
while before he went to work in the morning. I said it was okay.
I turned on the water in the bathtub so I could take a nice warm bath, and
then I went into the kitchen to make some red rasberry leaf tea and toast
to have while taking my bath. I guess I took longer than I thought to make
the tea and toast, because when I checked on my bath to see if it was
almost ready, the tub had filled all the way up and was draining out the
top drain. Since I accidentally used so much water, the hot water had run
out, and the bath water felt too cold to be very relaxing. I quickly
washed my hair and shaved my legs. I have really long hair and during my
last birth my hair had been a mess, so I really wanted to braid my hair,
but the contractions felt so intense that I didn't.
I went into my bedroom after the bath and chose a nightshirt to a labor
in... a pink striped shirt with kitties on it. Then I laid down on the
couch and timed my contractions while my husband finished surfing the
Internet. I called my mom at about 4:45, and I talked until I had a
contraction. . . then I became quiet, and Mom asked if I was having a
contraction. Yes, I was! She said she'd get ready to come over and
suggested that I call the midwife.
I called my midwife, Suellen, and told her I was having contractions that
were at the most four minutes apart and 45 seconds long. She said she
would come if I wanted her to, but I said she could wait a while. She said
to let her know when the contractions got more intense. Soon after I hung
up the phone, they started lasting 60 seconds long.
My husband called work at 5:07 and told his boss he thought I going into
labor so he probably wouldn't be coming into work that day. About 20
minutes later, I told my husband I needed something to throw up in. He
quickly brought me a garbage can, and I promptly threw up. It honestly felt
better throwing up some food and my tea rather than throwing up empty
stomach acid, which is what I threw up in my last labor. My husband then
realized that this was probably the real thing, and asked if he should fill
the waterbirth tub. I said, "Yes!"
The tub, already inflated and cleaned and sitting in the living room, was
ready to be filled, but my husband soon found out that he needed to wait
until we had more hot water in the tank since I had used it up when I took
my bath.
I also called my friend Laurie who was going to come to the birth. Her
husband answered the telephone, and I told him I was in labor. I just let
him tell Laurie for me... I didn't feel like being on the phone any longer.
I went and laid down again on the bed in our guestroom. Mom arrived at
about 6:00 am. Contractions were getting more intense, so they needed my
full attention, but I talked to her for a short time between contractions.
I mentioned something to her about not wanting to have the baby right now.
The contractions felt so strong that I think I was asking myself why I had
been getting impatient for labor to start--I had changed my mind and
briefly wished I could go through labor on another day! . . . But of
course once you start there's no turning back. . . Mom once again
suggested that I call the midwife, so, because I found it difficult to
talk, my husband called our midwife a little after 6:00, and she said she'd
leave right away.
John brought me some Recharge, a sports-type drink I bought at the health
food store. It tasted delicious! Soon after I drank it I told John that I
had to throw up. I promptly threw up on the floor beside the bed. Thank
goodness we have wooden floors. When I threw up I remember thinking that
some women dilate when they throw up, so I took it as a good sign. Mom
cleaned my mess up, and John went and got me a wonderful cold rag for my
forehead. It felt so good.
Suellen, our midwife, arrived at about 6:30. A few minutes later, Laurie
arrived. Then soon after that, Ellen woke up. I think she asked about me,
but didn't come to see me. She must've been excited to see all those
people at our house!
Suellen checked my blood pressure, which was fine, and used the doppler to
check the baby's heartbeat between contractions and during a contraction.
It sounded great. It was 140 between contractions--the rate it usually was
at my prenatal appointments.
For quite awhile, I felt that I handled the contractions well by myself. I
didn't feel panic like I remember
feeling during my first birth. I didn't do any special type of breathing.
During my first birth I did Lamaze-type breathing--"he he he ha." This
birth I just kept slowly breathing in and out. . . and then I began
breathing a lttle faster as the contractions got stronger.
I hadn't been sure if I wanted anyone around me during labor except for my
husband. I wish he could've been with me more! He was with me for about
20 minutes after he called the midwife until she arrived while he waited
for the hot water tank to warm up--then he went and worked on filling the
tub up in time for the birth. I felt relief when each person we had called
arrived--even though they all had something they needed to do, and I didn't
have someone who constantly stayed with me until I got in the birthing tub.
As the contractions intensified, I really appreciated someone being with
me.
I stayed for quite awhile in our guestroom lying on my left side during
contractions. During a visit to the room to see how I was doing, Laurie
mentioned that kneeling and leaning against the bed or
getting on all fours were helpful positions for her when she was in labor.
I really just felt like lying on the bed on my side, but I remember a
particularly strong contraction when everyone was busy doing something and
I was alone. I got on the floor on all fours to see if that would help. .
. nope. Laurie and the midwife came in at that time to check on me.
Knowing the importance of keeping my bladder empty, I decided to go to the
bathroom again. When I wiped, there was some blood and mucous on the
tissue. Laurie came in to check on me, and I excitedly told her about what
I had found on my tissue!
I tried several times to get up off the toilet, but I kept sitting on there
because I found out that I could handle the contractions on the toilet.
During my first labor, I couldn't stand being on the toilet because it
seemed to intesify my contractions, but this time sitting there helped me
handle them. Whenever I tried to get up and walk away, I had a
contraction and quickly sat down again! I sat with my legs apart and
leaned back against the toilet tank with my head way back.
After a while Suellen came in and told me I could get in the birthing tub
whenever I was ready. . . it was finally full enough. I got up and made a
quick dash for the birthing tub. A lamp with a sixty watt bulb dimly lit
our large living room, and light filtered through the curtains as the sun
rose.
Someone helped me into the water. I sat down and leaned back against the
soft sides of the birthing tub with my legs floating in front of me. It
felt good going down into that warm water. The contractions still felt
strong, but the warmth helped. For a little while now I had been feeling
the contractions down in my vagina--they started in my back and radiated
around to the front and then down to my vagina. When they reached my
vagina, that was when they felt the most intense and when I found it
hardest to handle the intensity.
As I sat there enjoying the warmth of the water and breathing through the
contractions, my husband continued filling the tub, and Laurie braided my
hair so it wouldn't get in the way. The hot water in the tank had been
used up, so John boiled water on the stove. He alternated pouring pans of
hot water and cold water into the tub until he filled it high enough to
cover my tummy. I preferred it when he poured the hot water into the tub.
As he filled it up, my midwife splashed warm water on my tummy. I liked
the feeling of the water moving on my tummy.
I suddenly felt I couldn't sit there any longer, so I quickly turned around
and kneeled and leaned against the sides of the tub. Apparently I moved to
several differently places around the tub and ended up on the side of the
tub near the couch. I had my right knee bent and my left leg extended out
to the side. I leaned with all my weight on the side of the tub and
relaxed as much as I could. I remember really relaxing my facial muscles
and closing my eyes.
The midwife and Laurie and John took turns rubbing and pushing hard on my
lower back because my back hurt so much. It really helped. Sweet little
Ellen reached down and tried to rub my back, too. She wondered why my back
hurt. The midwife explained that it hurt, but that after the baby was born
the pain would go away.
For a short amount of time, my mom sat on the couch in front of where I
kneeled in the tub. I remember seeing her put her hands in front of her
face, and then she left the room--she didn't like to see me in pain. At
that time she didn't realize that many of the sounds I was making made it
easier for me to handle the contractions, and that they were good. One
time I--as my husband describes it--screamed like I was "in a rock
concert." I had read and heard and been told that it's best to make low
noises during labor, so it was no surprise when the midwife suggested that
I lower my voice. Then I started making a kind of grunting sound and was
told that was good and so I really went for it with the low grunt! My mom
remembers my saying, "My back hurts!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhh."
Then my husband sat down on the couch in front of me. I had a cold rag on
my head. After every contraction Laurie gave me a drink of water from a
glass with a bendable straw. I was trying to relax my face so much that I
found it hard to tense up the muscles in my lips enough to sip water
through the straw. The water sure tasted good, though. Sometimes I
burped, and then I would say, "Excuse me." They laughed at my politeness!
I grabbed onto my husband's hands and squeezed really hard during
contractions. The strength of my grip surprised him. My husband gave me
strength. It was wonderful having him there.
After each contraction, I would relax and then as a contraction came the
people in the room with me could tell. It was neat that they knew I was
having a contraction. I felt very supported
by the people present at the birth. My daughter was great! She would come
by sometimes and give me pats of encouragement on my arm.
I started to feel like pushing sort of, but wasn't really sure, so I gave a
few gentle pushes and kept breathing. I prayed and asked God for a little
break. I very quietly started saying "hellllp, helllp, helllp" when I
breathed. Also, toward the end, I sighed when I breathed between my
contractions. Laurie sometimes commented that the contractions were
bringing my baby down. It was helpful for me when she reminded me of that.
As time went by, the pushing-urge grew, though I never felt it intensely.
The midwife said I could probably reach down with my fingers and feel the
head, but I told her I really didn't care. I just wanted to get my baby
out.
When we had interviewed our midwife, she had told us that she was good at
telling what stage of labor a woman was in by the way she acted. I loved
it that she didn't give me any internal exams. She came around behind me
and, for the first time during my pregnancy, looked down there to see what
was going on. She said my water hadn't broken yet. She gave me
counterpressure on my perineum and told me I could push whenever I wanted
to. By her pressure down there she gave me a place to kind of focus my
pushing.
One time I said, "I can't stand it!" My husband remembered from my first
birth that soon after I had exclaimed a similar sentiment, I had given
birth to Ellen. He rightly thought that perhaps I'd be having our baby
soon.
The student midwife, Michelle, finally arrived. The whole time I had not
seen or heard mention of any "medical stuff" except for the doppler and the
blood pressure cuff. When the student came in she asked Suellen if the
oxygen was ready. I wish I hadn't heard her mention the oxygen. I also
heard her ask, "Can she give birth in that position?" The midwife said
yes, but that I'd have to lift my bottom as the head came out. It felt
kind of weird hearing them talk like that.
We heard Mom banging dishes in the kitchen. She was busy cleaning and also
baking cinnamon rolls. Suellen and Michelle mentioned that moms find it
hard to see their daughters in pain. They also commented on how good the
cinnamon rolls smelled--they did smell good! After a while, Mom returned
to the living room, and I could hear her praying for me. You could hear
concern in her voice.
Soon after, Suellen thought my water broke. The student midwife was going
to check the baby's heart rate with the doppler---I think to see how the
baby reacted to the water breaking--but then I started having a
contraction, and Suellen told her to wait. She decided that my water
probably hadn't broken yet.
About two minutes later my water really did break. I felt a definite
"pop." I still wasn't pushing really hard. I remember thinking that even
if I didn't push, my baby would still come out, so I wasn't concerned about
my not pushing very hard. But then I mentioned that I was afraid to push.
The student midwife repeated what I had said to my midwife, and I think my
midwife thought I was afraid I would tear, and she reassured me that she
was supporting the area.
My foot ended up being on top of the heating pad that was under the tub and
was being used to heat the tub, so my foot started getting uncomfortably
warm. John went and got a towel to put under my foot, but my foot still
was getting hot, so they turned off the heating pad.
Suellen mentioned that soon I would probably feel like pushing and not
stopping. I started to feel the "ring of fire" burn. I did start pushing
more intensely. I still breathed because I knew it was best not to "purple
push" and didn't want to distress my baby. Plus, my husband reminded me to
breathe.
Suellen told us that the baby's head was wiggling, trying to help me out!
She put a mirror in the water and someone held a flashlight in the water so
they could see baby coming out. They looked in the mirror and could see
his face coming out, and my mom has told me since then how much she enjoyed
seeing that.
I remember being grateful that during the slight pause I had between my
pushes I didn't feel pain. I really pushed hard because I wanted my baby
to come out, and it felt like he was right there! And he was! My baby's
head came out, and the midwife told me I could reach down and feel it. I
reached down and touched his hairy head for a couple seconds. I was
amazed... but then quickly went back to the job at hand.
Then John and Laurie switched places. . . I squeezed her hands during
contractions. . . so John could see the baby. He said he saw the baby's
face in the water with his eyes closed. This baby's body came out much
slower than Ellen's did. . . she had shot out like a bullet. The student
midwife later told us that the baby had his cord around his neck, but they
just unlooped it and it was fine.
About a minute after his head came out, at 9:42 am, his body slid into the
water and the intense pressure on my perineum disappeared. I felt immense
relief and excitement. My midwife gently pushed him between my legs. I
stepped back, quickly reached my hands into the water, and picked him up
under his arms. With Suellen's help, I lifted him to my chest. I put my arms
around him and sat down. His body felt smooth and slippery. He didn't
need suctioning and breathed right away. He looked peaceful and content.
They laid blankets over his body as I held him in my arms while still
attached to him by his umbilical cord. I could hardly believe that he had
been inside me and had actually come out. I felt joy, elation, and
amazement!
Ellen said, "Hi, baby," and reached down to touch her new sibling. She had
a huge smile on her face and excitedly commented that, "Baby come out!"
Our baby's first criend when Michelle put his hat on. It didn't fit quite
right, so it didn't stay on very well. His head was funny-shaped... kind
of elongated. His hat soon fell off into the water. We put a dry one on,
and right before I got out of the tub that one fell off, too.
A few minutes after his birth, our baby brought his fist up to his mouth,
so I tentatively asked him, "Do you wanna nurse?" Suellen said to go ahead
and try, though he might not nurse right away. I lifted my shirt up and
held him close to my nipple. After a few tries he nursed a little, but at
this time he mostly mouthed my nipple.
When I first saw our baby I felt quite sure he was a boy, but we still
hadn't looked to see whether he was a "he" or a "she." I wanted to look
and see for myself, so I started to move the blankets away to look, but
couldn't see right away, so for some reason I asked what he was, and the
midwife said he was a boy.
Since I had already moved the blankets when looking to see if he was a boy
or girl, and the cord had stopped pulsating, the midwife asked if I wanted
to cut the cord. Ellen said, "It be okay, baby." They clamped it in two
places, and I cut it cord in the middle. The cord was tough, like
gristle. Some blood squirted on him, but the midwife just washed it off
with water in the tub. Because we had waited to cut the cord, he was quite
a red little guy.
He had vernix on him. Mom commented on all the white stuff floating in the
water, and the student midwife explained that it was vernix and told her
she could rub some on the baby's skin and told how great a moisturizer it
was.
I offered him my breast again, and this time he nursed really well with a
strong suck. I started having mildly painful contractions while I nursed
him. The student midwife looked to see if my placenta was ready to come
out; it didn't seem to be ready as far as she could tell. Suellen assured
me that it would be fine if it took up to two hours to come out. I
appreciated it that she told me that, but I disliked the contractions and
really wished that the placenta would hurry up and come out. The
contractions made me feel tense and uncomfortable.
Finally I decided that I wanted to get out of the tub. The water in the
tub had gotten Calvin's blankets wet, so Suellen splashed water on the
blankets to keep them warm for him. Since the heating pad that heated the
water had been turned off right before Calvin's birth, I started feeling a
little concerned that perhaps the water was beginning to feel slightly
cool. Suellen assured me the water was warm enough, but I decided I
didn't want to sit in the tub any longer.
My midwife handed Calvin to John, and she and the student midwife helped me
stand up in the tub. Suellen said she thought the placenta would probably
come right out when I got up. She took a look and asked me to give a push
and it slid right out. After that, the contractions mostly stopped,
though, for a few days, I had a little mild cramping while nursing Calvin.
They took my wet nightshirt off, so I was standing there next to the tub in
front of everyone with nothing on... I might as well have labored without a
shirt! To catch the blood, they put a couple large pads between my legs,
and my friend joked that I looked like a sumo wrestler. They wrapped a
towel around me, and I walked to my bedroom. I put on a nursing nightgown
and sat in my bed and leaned against the pillows they had set up for me.
Then John brought Calvin to me, and I nursed him again. I held him for a
long time.
Ellen came in the room, too, and mom brought us some food. John went to
help empty the tub. . . with my next birth I'll ask him to stay with us
longer.
After a while, John came back into our bedroom, and it was now time to
check out little Calvin. Michelle laid him on a warmed heating pad and
checked his heatbeat, looked to make sure he had two soft spots, etc., and
checked his reflexes. Calvin didn't cry during his checkup and looked
around with bright, alert eyes.
They weighed Calvin in a cloth sling-like pouch that was hung on a hook
that was part of the scale. The midwife held the scale. He weighed eight
pounds.
Suellen had forgotten her tape measure, so we decided to wait until she
visited the next day to see how long he measured, but then Laurie found a
ruler in one of my junk drawers. The midwife held it up to Calvin; he was
22 inches long. She put a length of string around his head, and then
measured the string to check the circumference of his head. It was 13 1/2
inches. She also measured his chest in this way, and it measured at 12
inches.
Then the student midwife examined the placenta while we watched. She
wanted to make sure it was all there. She showed us how it fit together
and made a sack. She also showed us how it looked like a tree. The
placenta was the top part of the tree, and the umbilical cord hanging down
formed the trunk. . . . She called it the "tree of life." Michelle
explained to Ellen that she liked to call the umbilical cord the "food
tube." It amazed us that our baby had lived in that perfect little home
and had received nourishment through the cord.
They wanted me to try to go to the bathroom. Before I went, Suellen
checked me while I sat on the toilet to see if I had any tears. I didn't
have any tears, but I did have a prolapsed cervix. Apparently it was
hanging down, so she pushed it back up and told me to stay in bed for a
day.
Soon after that, Suellen, Michelle, and Laurie left. Mom stayed the day
to help clean up and take care of Ellen. My little baby and I snuggled up
in bed and went to sleep.