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Parents often get stressed out about their toddler's sleep (or lack of sleep) habits. Certainly no one can force anyone else (or himself) to go to sleep, but we can provide the opportunity for our children to sleep. What helps your child sleep may not work the same for another child. Many children sleep better when there is a bedtime ritual or routine. For some the routine might be 15 minutes long... for some, 60 minutes. Some children sleep better with their parents. Some children need a parent with them until they fall asleep, and then they are content to sleep alone in their bed the rest of the night. Some toddlers fall asleep only when nursed to sleep. Do what works for you and your toddler and do not worry about meeting the expectations of "experts." Putting expectations on a child that he is not ready to meet can cause many unnecessary struggles. As you listen to your toddler and meet his needs, he will feel secure and will grow into independence as he becomes ready.

Since you cannot make your child go to sleep, battles over this are futile. Make bedtime pleasant. Try to help your toddler see sleep as a good thing. Do not worry if your toddler "refuses" to take a nap. If you have given him ample opportunity, and yet he still has not taken a nap, then trust that he will sleep later. Even if he doesn't take a nap, he will probably benefit from a time of playing quietly. Make the house as quiet as you can and help him find some quitetime activities. This can provide some rest and a time for both of you to recharge. Children have lots of energy (I'm sure this comes as no surprise to you!), so they need plenty of opportunities to burn off energy during the day. Fresh air can work wonders. Remember, if your child does not take a nap, perhaps he will go to sleep early for the night... this is something I always enjoy when my daughter does it. :)

Yes, you can try to *make* your child stay in his bed, and the use of gentle, loving guidance can encourage him in this way. Using violence or restraints or locked doors in order to keep a child in bed will most assuredly backfire and bring strife and sorrow to the heart of a child.

If you are having troubles getting your child to sleep, you may wonder how I can write so calmly about this. It's because my daughter (two years old) now goes to sleep very well at night (usually!). She often takes naps. If she misses a nap one (or five) days, she will often make up for it by sleeping longer another day or by going to bed early. Our experiences are not the same every day, but I can see so clearly that my little girl is growing up. Enjoy your little ones while they are little. Let them be little. Remember these two things... 1) This too shall pass and 2) Children grow up very quickly!