Disclaimers: Joss owns them, not me. I make no claims at all.
Comments: Ok, so we are getting back on track to the happy stuff. I have lots of fluffy stuff planned for the pair of them, before SDV L. I'm even thinking of the words; Faith, Harley, Buffy, Riding, Leathers, Sweaty, Kissing. See! WOO!
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 29.11.01
Title: I like my previous title, the one I was going to use for SDV XXXVII so here it is.
Final words: God, you know, I am really going to miss SDV when it hits L/50. I really like this Faith and Buffy, even if she needs good kick up her rear to get her into gear.
 
Faith's POV
 
Slayers Do Vegas XXXVIII- A Bird in the Hand is Better than a Smack in the Face with a Brick
 
 
We're back in the hotel room.
I drop my bag down on the floor and just kinda stand there.
What do I do?
What do I say?
 
Then there's that silence again, just crawling over me.
Scraping and scratching, like her words did to me earlier.
You made me feel so cheap, B.
 
'I'm sorry, I never meant to.'
 
What?
Did I say that outloud?
 
'That was meant to stay in my head, sorry. Fuck it, I don't know what to say or do, B.'
 
I look at her and she looks so sad.
I made her look like that.
This isn't how it was meant to go!
 
She takes a deep breath, sighs, then cocks her fist back and just punches me straight in the face.
FUCK!
It slams me straight back in the wall.
This is why she asked me back; at least I know.
I push myself back off the wall and put a hand up to my face.
I can deal with this, you need to relax, Faith, just relax, it'll hurt less.
I deserve this, after what I did.
 
'That was for hurting me, Faith.'
 
She steps up closer to me, and I try not to tense up too much.
Just relax, it'll hurt less!
Still, I'm shaking, but I'm not scared.
I'm just... why has it come down to this?
This wasn't how it was meant to be!
Not like this!
 
She lifts her hand up.
She's gonna slap me!
Relax, relax, it'll hurt less.
Yeah, hurt my body less but it's ripping me; me, Faith, me!
 
Then I feel her hand on my face.
Gently on my cheek, then on the back of my head, pulling me into an embrace.
Holding me tight, close to her.
 
'And this is for me hurting you, I'm so sorry, Faith, I didn't mean to make you feel cheap.'
 
I just start crying, again.
I've given up trying to stop it now.
I don't care how pathetic I look.
I don't care how weak it makes me seem to her.
I don't care.
Because I am.
I am pathetic and I am weak.
 
'B, I never meant to do that. I swear to you. Just... you made me feel...'
 
I can't finish the sentence.
And then I realise that it doesn't need to be finished; she made me feel.
 
She moves her head back to look me in the eyes, and she looks so sad.
I feel her forehead rest against mine, her hands on my shoulders, gently moving.
I close my eyes, I don't want to see.
 
'What did I make you feel, Faith? Talk to me.'
 
I hold back a sob as I remember, as I relive the morning, how she made me feel.
Everything pours out of me, everything.
 
'B... I had everything, all I ever wanted, and it was all so perfect. We were so perfect, and then it all went wrong. You just... you made me feel... dirty, like I'd done something bad. You didn't remember! The most perfect night of my life and you didn't remember, and I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, you took it all away, and I could still feel you on me, in me, and you couldn't remember! It felt like a real pain, like someone was just clawing at me, like I should be doubled over. Then when you came in the bathroom, I... I just... I snapped, I wanted you to remember, us, what we did! What I did to you! But things... it all went out of control, I just... it all got out of control. I was so angry, I felt like I couldn't breathe...!'
 
I push away from her.
I can feel it all in me, like it's happening now.
 
The morning.
When I was watching her sleep.
When she looked at me and smiled.
When her smile fell and she grabbed my heart and ripped it out.
The smell of her still on my lips, the taste of her.
 
'What did you do to me?'
 
Her fingers inside me, me screaming out her name.
 
'You kissed me? FAITH!'
 

In the bathroom.
When she asked me where I got the scratches from.
When I pushed her against the counter top.
When I pulled her top open.
 
'Faith, you're hurting me!'
 
When I unbuttoned her pants.
 
'...please, please, not like this...!'
 
'Don't rape me!'
'Don't rape me!'
'Don't rape me!'
 
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
 
'Faith!'
 
I can't breathe!
I can't breathe!
 
'...please, please, not like this...!'
 
My chest hurts and... the room, spinning...
I just need to...
In my head...everything's spinning!
 
'Faith, you're hurting me!'
 
'B...?'
 
I feel her arms round me.
 
'...please, please, not like this...!'
 
'Faith, it's ok... it's ok...'
Her body's against mine.
She's holding me, stroking my hair.
Just like that night.
 
'I like you impatient.'
 
The feeling of my fingers inside her, then my tongue, tasting her.
I try and push her away from me, from my mind and my body.
 
'I'm not letting you go again, Faith. It's ok, just let it go.'
 
I feel my legs start to buckle.
I can't breathe...!
B.. help me... please... someone help me!
She's holding me up, B's holding me up.
Then moving me to the bed, lying me down.
I feel her next to me, holding me close, whispering in my ear.
 
'It's ok, Faith, it's ok, it's ok...'
Over and over.
Over and over.
Calming me, making it go away, stopping the noise in my head.
 
'It's ok...'
 
Is it?
Is it ok?
 
'I'm here with you, it's ok, we'll get through this...'
 
We'll get through this?
We will?
 
I feel her kiss my forehead, softly.
I open my eyes, and meet hers, she smiles, but there are tears in her eyes.
 
'B? I just want things to be good between us again.'
 
'Me to, Faith, and they will. Ok? I promise you, they will.'
 
I relax and hold on to her and pray that things will be.