Disclaimers: Joss and his Mutants own them, not me. I make no claim to Buffy and Faith.
Comments: One step closer to the end...
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 30.11.01
Dedication: To M, London Retail has suffered since you left! Come back soon!
Title: I have officially run out of all ones that make any sense.
 
Buffy's POV
 
Slayers Do Vegas XXXIX- One Small Step at A Time Usually Means A Boring Walk to The Shops
 
Why do I keep punching her in the face?
I'm such an idiot for doing that; one minute I was looking at her, the next I was hitting her!
It's closure though.
Now we're kind of even, kind of, well not really, don't think there can be 'even' in this.
It's so comforting to still be making no sense in my head!
 
I look down at her, where she's lying on the bed.
She fell asleep about an hour ago, probably all the stress.
Also, me punching her in the head again didn't help.
You're going to give her brain damage, Buffy!
 
She looks defenseless, totally, but I've seen her without her walls up, in Vegas.
She's cried most of her make up off and she looks sort of normal.
Ok, that sounds better when I add; normal, the way you would when you visit your old relatives for Christmas.
Not that she looks bad with all the make up on.
She looks good.
Make up and Faith equal...
Hmm...
Buffy?
Shut up!
 
I feel a smile appear on my face.
Faith's here; she didn't go.
She didn't go!
I'm so glad.
 
I lay back down, next to her, and just keep looking.
We slept together.
We...
Did we 'make love'?
I think Faith would punch me in the face if I used that phrase.
Mental note registered on that!
I keep remembering what we did, how she made me feel.
But it's all mixed up with what happened after.
I don't want it to be, but it is.
I just want to think about the good things, not the bad.
I can't separate them though.
 
Are we going to kiss again?
I look at her lips.
I kissed those lips.
Will it feel the same if I kiss her again?
Or will it just feel bad, because of what she did?
God, Buffy, let it go!
She didn't!
Enough of the going over it again and again, please.
 
IT'S JUST GETTING BORING!
 
What if she had?!
What if  she hadn't stopped?!
What if, what if, what if!
She did stop, so quit thinking about it.
 
Ok, I need to kiss her to see.
But then I look at her sleeping.
And I know it's wrong.
It's wrong, because she's still beating herself up about it.
Yeah, when I'm not beating her up!
 
Her eyes flutter open, and she takes a second to register where she is.
 
'Hey, I fell asleep... sorry, I didn't mean to. You must have busted some of my brain with that punch, B!'
 
'I didn't hit you below the waist!'
 
Her face drops and I realise she thinks I'm being serious.
She pushes herself up, but I put my hand on her arm to stop her.
Damn it, Buffy, can't you do anything right?!
Plug your brain in before you speak next time!
 
'Faith? I was joking. Lie back down with me, so we can talk.'
 
She turns her head and looks at me, she looks lost.
I just want to take that sentence back; grab it and stuff it back in my stupid mouth!
She's still for a second, but then does it, but I know she doesn't want to.
Faith never does stuff she doesn't want to?
And then I realise, she's feeling guilty.
Oh, Hello?
Earth to Buffy?! 
Course she's feeling guilty, just because you punch her and get some sort of closure doesn't mean she has!
ME ME ME, BUFFY BUFFY BUFFY!
Stop thinking about yourself all the time!
Ok, you have to try and sort this out.
So... get with the sorting!
I think it involves opening your mouth, Buffy!
 
Countdown to babbling.
WE HAVE LIFT OFF!
 
'Faith. We have to get past this, I know you feel bad. Ok, that was an understatement. What I mean is that if we get sucked down into this then... I think it's going to... I mean... argh! My brain feels fried! Ok, start again. When we... you know... what do I call it? When we had sex? We didn't just have sex, I mean, I didn't just have sex with you. That would mean there were no feelings, and there were feelings. Lots of them, and all different; all very good ones, so plenty of feelings. And when I say feelings I mean... ok, don't freak out, you know... '  Deep breath Buffy, say it! '... love feelings, feelings of love, for you. I mean feelings involving love for you. And I can't handle my booze, but we've pretty much figured that out! I know how I made you feel the next day, and I'm not going to keep saying sorry. Not that I'm not sorry, just it sounds pathetic. "I'm sorry, Faith!" Like it makes everything better... and things shouldn't have gone as far as they did, afterwards. But they did, and we have to put it all in the past, otherwise it'll always try and mess us both up. You know, Faith, you can stop me anytime you want.'
 
She's looking at me.
Is she freaking out because I said the love thing?
Or that I still want everything to be ok between us?
Or both?
Or other stuff that I can't think of at the moment?
Everything in my head's racing!
Is steam coming out of my ears?
 
'You really want things to be ok, B?'
 
Tell her how much she means to you.
Ooo, tell her how good your friendship is and how bad it would be to throw it away!
 
'Yes.'
 
Or just say yes.
Well done; glad I spent all those years in school.
 
'Oh.'
 
'Are we having a competition on who can give the shortest answer? Because if we are, you just won, Faith.'
 
She smiles and leans up on an elbow, looking down at me.
 
'I always beat you, B. Unless we're talking about punching in the face, then you win hands down!'
 
'Do you want to go out and do something? Get back on track with some Vegas style fun?'
 
'Is this gonna involve me paying?'
 
'Do you still feel guilty about what happened, Faith?'
 
'Yeah... a bit less, but yeah.'
 
'Then it does involve you paying.'
 
I feel her punch my arm and I roll off the bed and hold my hand out to her.
She smiles and takes it, letting me pull her up.
 
'Let's show this town what a pair of Slayers can do!'
 
'Or we can show them how much of my money you can lose, B!'
 
'But I'll do it in style!'
 
As we walk out the door, I breath a small sigh of relief.
 
I really think everything's going to be ok between us.
We just need to work past a few hundred kinks first.
But we're Slayers, the Chosen two, and we can beat anything!