Where is she?
It's only
been a day since she almost got... ok, we wont finish that sentence
Bathroom!
I move over to the door.
'Faith? Tara says hi, she's all with the "skipping
up the road to recovery", or is that down? Do you skip up the road to
recovery or... nevermind. Um... Willow freaked the nurses out with her chanting.
She said they've all been extra nice to her since. See, not all magick's bad.
I got you something from. Wait for it. Taco Bell! I'll just...'
The hotel room door opens and slams me straight
in the back, knocking me on the floor!
'B, why are you on the floor?'
'FAITH! Why are you dressed?'
'Because people would've stared if I'd gone
out naked. Taco Bell! I'm wicked hungry.'
She picks the bag up, and limps over to the
table.
'Did you get those dip things... hey you did!
What are you having?'
I push myself up, and brush the horrible
bits of nylon carpet off my best shirt.
'Why are you up, and why did you go out? You
remember what the doctor told you!'
Ok, hands on hips and taping foot.
I think I'm showing my major pissed off-ness
at this now!
As usual, straight over the top of her head.
'Jeez, mom. I already did my homework!'
'Faith, where did you go?'
Now I've crossed my arms and have the finger
tapping thing going on.
She could have killed herself, or worse!
Ok, there isn't much worse than killing yourself,
but, but, she could have done it badly.
Like trapped herself in the elevator doors
and got...
Right, this stops here Buffy, Faith wouldn't
get stuck in the elevator doors!
Relax and let her... talk, or, something reasonable
like that.
I sit down next to her and watch her eating,
sorry, shovelling the food in her mouth.
'I went...'
'Wait til you've finished that mouthful, this
is my favourite shirt. If I wanted it covered in grease I would have given
it to the man behind the counter in Taco Bell.'
She wiggles her eyebrows at me.
Impossible, she's so damn impossible!
'Finished!'
She opens her mouth to prove it.
'Faith! Gross! Stop it, where did you go? Tell
me or I'll stop talking to you.'
'Wow, way to make me spill. That's more of
a reason for me not to tell you.'
'FAITH!!!!'
'Chill, B. I got Red and Tara a card, look!
Cool, ain't it? And, a pen from the gift shop. This is for Tara kicking undead
ass, like a major scary Witch. Watch. You turn it upside down and all the
women's clothes come...'
I snatch the pen off her.
Naked girls!
'Faith! You can't give Tara this, it's... it's
a porn pen!'
'Hey Tara appreciates the ladies. She'll dig
this pen, look at the rack on her! Hell yeah, baby!'
'I can't believe you got her that,
ok the card's cool, and sweet. See, you can be nice when you try.'
She slaps my arm and gives me a scowl.
Great, here comes sulky Faith.
Come on Buffy, be nice.
Faith got dressed, even though she was all
bruised and hurting, went all the way to the gift shop and got them stuff.
Actually, she found the gift shop,
that's got to get her a medal in navigation alone.
'Ok, sorry, just I worry. What if you'd fallen
down a big hole, or something? I wouldn't have known where you were and you'd
still be there now, shouting out, "B! Help me! B! I'm in a hole!" Ok, that
was a bit crazy, but you know what I mean.'
'Crazy? I was the one that got punched in the
head, like, twenty times and you're the one with brain damage! Shit, I like
the way that works.'
I punch her in the arm and only then remember
about her injuries.
Damn, sorry, forgot, sorry!
She grabs her arm and almost falls back off
the chair!
No, no, no, no, no, stupid, stupid, stupid,
stupid!!
'Faith! I forgot, just you were being... sorry,
are you ok?'
She's all bent over double, clutching her side.
Did I hear a growl from her?
Ooo, that was kind of sexy; stop it, Buffy!
CRAP!
She just grabbed me and threw me down on the bed.
'Hey! Where's "I'm weak little Faith" gone?
Get off me, you... bully!'
She's pinned my arms above my head with her
own and is getting comfy on my stomach.
'OWW! Don't bounce!'
'Sorry, just you're all soft and squishy. You
been keeping toned? I-don't-think-so! Bad, Buffy!'
Then she smiles, lowers herself down on to
me and kisses me on the lips.
Mmmm, all soft, and nice, and warm and... short.
Where'd those lips go?
Oooo, that's where they went.
I like the way she kisses my neck, all floaty
and silky and teasy.
Is teasy a word?
Suddenly, I sooo do not care!
Oh, no, no no no!
Doctor said nothing strenuous at all!
Is this strenuous?
I think if I let her carry on, it's going to
get that way, pretty damn quick.
'Faith, you... mmm, no, wait! You... ca...
'
Brain.
Mush.
Buffy?
Stop her before she gives herself an aneurysm
and dies!
'Faith? We can't do anything like this for
48 hrs. You... Faith! Are you listening to me?'
She licks my ear and I'm not even listening
to me, anymore.
No listening.
Just Faith kissing different parts of me.
Ooo!
Hands!
Hands in... places, where hands feel very nice,
Faith's hands in places where...
Buffy?!
She might die from kissing you, then you'd
feel soooo guilty you'd... pine away for her and become an old Slayer
Spinster, living alone with hundreds of cats.
Yikes!
I take her by surprise and flip her over.
'YOU! Stop being all sexy and... stuff! The
doctor said no, to strenuous activities. You saw him, he winked when
he said it, and that wink means no strenuous stuff; like this. So,
we have to be good. We can go to first base, but there will be NO home runs
in this hotel room today, ok?'
And we're going to get a...?
Smile!
Yay!
Buffy said the right thing.
It was me giving her the first base clause,
works everytime.
Ok, it worked this time, and it's the only
time I've used it.
Although, that's 100% success rate.
So I'm going to stand by what I said...
SHUT UP!
I'm giving myself a headache.
How do people listen to me?
Jeez.
'But I was only kissing you, B. That's ok,
if we're going for first base.'
'And where were your hands?'
'Up your top, that's ok to.'
'Faith! First base is kissing! Not groping!
Not everything's about sex.'
She pushes me off and rolls off the bed.
What did I say?
OH!
Ok, so that made me sound like I think she
just always wants the sex.
Hold up?
SHE DOES!
Problem?
Don't see one.
Women!
'What are you doing now? Come and lie back
down, I haven't finished kissing you.'
'Well I've finished kissing you.'
Ouch.
'Shit, sorry, B. I don't just want you for
sex, you know. Look, I don't feel too good.'
'You don't have to make excuses, Faith. It's
ok.'
Well I feel like crap.
Anyone else?
Oh good, I have the exclusive rights to this.
Great.
'No, I'm not. B? I don't feel too good, like
really.'
I see her grab hold of the chair to steady
herself, then move back to sit on the bed.
SEE!
No strenuous stuff!
'You have to lie down, ok? You lie down and
I'll look after you. I told you no, to being all rushy round!'
She falls back on the bed, and pushes herself
up, to lie next to me.
'Sorry, felt dizzy 'n' all. Guess that's what
happens when you almost get drained of all your blood. I need to close my
eyes for a bit, B. Sorry.'
She looks all pale!
If she's not ok in twenty minutes then we're
going back to the hospital.
'Don't be all sorry. Just sleep for a while,
Faith. I'll make sure you're alright.'
She'll be ok.
I lie on my side and watch and wait.
