Disclaimers: Joss, Mutant etc own them not me. I make no claims to the characters. No harm intended.
Comments: Oh dear, well at least Faith's not getting beaten up.
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 06.12.01
Title: Veruca Salt own 'Shimmer Like A Girl' They rock, I don't. All hail Louise Post and Nina Gordon, Uber Grrls Supreme. There's also a partial quote from the girl's song 'I'm taking Europe With Me', from the EP 'Blow It Out Your Ass, It's Veruca Salt'. I make no claims to these songs. No harm intended.
 
Buffy's POV
 
Slayers Do Vegas LIV - It's a Shame, You Have a Mind of Your Own Now
 
'Will, what am I going to say to her? I mean, what do I say? "You know I said I loved you? Well nothing says it more than a punch in the face." Why doesn't she remember me?'
 
I look down at her, lying on the bed.
They had to sedate her for the CAT scans.
Said she was being uncooperative.
She hates hospitals, she would be.
Silly Faith.
 
'Buffy? They said the chances of her getting her memory back are good. Better than good, even. Definate, she's definatley going to get her memory back!'
 
'A day, a week, a month, a year?! That's when they said she could get it back, you heard them! I don't need the truth sugar coated! God Willow, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be taking this out on you. Just, I can't wait a year. She'll go, I know she will. She'll go and I'll never see her again! The End, no more Buffy and Faith, no more doing stuff together, no more anything! NO MORE! SHE'LL GO... SHE CAN'T GO. I'LL DIE, I KNOW I WILL!'
 
I feel her arms round me, hugging me and I start crying.
I'll die, I will, she can't go, she can't go, she can't go.
 
'Fucking Hell.'
 
She's awake!
I quickly turn to face her.
 
'Faith?'
 
'You can get the fuck away from me, you psycho! What, you bought another one of your minions to slap me another big one in the face?'
 
'You don't understand, I did it to help you!'
 
I did, you don't remember.
I'm trying to help you!
I wipe my tears away, with my cuff.
Don't want to look all weepy.
 
'I'll tell you what, Buffy. How about I help you by cracking your fuckin' skull some?! Huh? Shit, this'll teach me to get boozed up and fuck the first girl I see!'
 
I feel more tears on my cheeks.
Don't cry, please, not here, not now!
She doesn't know what she's saying.
She doesn't mean it.
 
'Hey! Don't talk to her like that you... mean person! Just because you don't remember, well, that's no reason to be all nasty!'
 
'Jeez, Buffy, where'd you pick this one up? Nuns-R-Us?'
 
It's not Faith.
She's not Faith, not really.
This isn't her!
 
I watch her swing her legs off the bed.
 
It's not Faith.
 
'Can I get some privacy? Or did we fuck with the lights off last night and you want to check me out now? Sorry, no encores. Close the door on your way out.'
 
'Where are you going, Faith?'
 
She can't leave!
Willow's arm tightens round my shoulder.
I feel myself start to crack.
Everything's ready to pour out.
Not here, Buffy.
Not here!
 
I open my bag, my hands are shaking again.
Don't shake, she'll be ok!
I pull her diary out and throw it on the bed.
 
'This is yours. Read it. It explains everything, Faith.'
 
She picks it up and looks at the cover then tosses it back down.
 
'I don't have a diary, jeez, mental case much. Like I said, privacy, no free peep shows, get lost before I throw your sorry asses out!'
 
'READ IT, FAITH, PLEASE!'
 
'If you two make me walk over there and throw you out I'm gonna beat you to a MOTHERFUCKIN' PULP!'
 
I look at her.
Her face is pulled into a snarl; Willow's arm tenses up round me.
It's not Faith.
This... it's not her.
But it is her.
What do I do?
 
'Buffy? We should go. Let her have some time...'
 
'Time to what, Willow? Leave? Leave me?! I just got her, I'm not letting her go like this!!'
 
I'm not letting her go!
 
'No one got me. Fucked me, maybe, but got me? Someone like you? Don't think so. Listen to the little Nun, Buffy. Get lost, last chance!'
 
'If I go, will you at least read some of your diary, please Faith. Look at the handwriting, it's yours!'
 
'Sure, whatever. Just get out!'
 
I pull all of my money out of my pocket, walk over and leave it on the side table.
 
'You don't have any money, Faith. I'm in the MGM, ok? The MGM. Just read it, please.'
 
I look at her one last time.
Not one last time!
She's going to come back.
She'll remember and we'll laugh about this.
We will, it'll all be ok.
It will.
 
I feel Willow's hand pull me round to leave.
 
Don't look round.
Don't remember her like this.
It's not her.
It's not her.
 
Willow opens the door and we leave her.
 
It's not her.