Disclaimers: Joss owns them, not me. I make no claims to Buffy or Faith. No harm intended.
Comments: Faith, honey? Everything's going to be ok! You killed Buffy, but there's plenty more fish in the sea!
Date Stamp: Miss K, aka Kitty wrote this 07.12.01
Title: Kittens? I got a new VS EP, could you tell? It's a line from 'I'm Taking Europe With Me'. I don't own it. Miss Post does, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUISE!
 
Faith's POV
 
Slayers Do Vegas LVII - I Think I Might Just; Regret It.
 
I do my jacket up, as I walk into the lobby of the Luxor.
Don't want security dragging me off to the cops if they see the blood.
Do check in on automatic.
I need to shower to get this off me!
 
I press the lift button, floor 23.
 
Floor 23.
 
I was on floor 23 before.
Just... you need to shower, need to think, just...
 
I push the door of my room open, and look round.
Empty.
It's going to be empty, Faith!
I sit down on the bed and kick my boots off.
Then I see I'm still holding my...that diary.
 
What if she's right?
What if I do know her, if we are friends, if I just can't remember?!
You don't just forget about stuff, it doesn't fall out of people's heads!
But, the chart said I'd been in before, I'm covered in bruises, where'd the bruises come from?
 
I flick through the first few pages, then slam it closed.
I don't own a diary, this isn't mine!
It's my writing though, if it's not mine, then why is it in my writing?
I open it back up, then close it.
Where are my smokes?
 
Shit, they must be in my bag!
 
I have a bag?
 
In the MGM, I have a bag.
 
I feel my hands in my hair, clutching at it.
I don't have a bag, why would I have a bag if...?
I don't have a mother fuckin' bag!!
 
I DON'T HAVE A BAG!
I DON'T HAVE A BAG!
EVERYTHING JUST SHUT UP!
SHUT THE FUCK UP!
I DON'T HAVE A DIARY!
 
I stand, pick it up and feel myself ripping at the pages.
SEE?
I don't have a fuckin' diary!!
Not anymore!
 
'I don't have a fuckin' diary! See?! You hear me?!'
 
My hands still ripping at the pages, tearing them into pieces.
I feel myself fall to my knees as the pieces float to the floor around me.
 
A piece of it drops in front of me, with one word on it.
 
Buffy.
 
Buffy's POV
 
'Willow, I'm ok! Just... did she break my nose? It feels like she broke it!'
 
I close my eyes as she lays a wet towel on my face.
Poetic, the amount of times I've hit Faith in the face and she finally gets to pummel mine!
How many hits did she get?
Ten?
Must've been before I managed to kick her off.
I'm covered in blood.
This'll never come out of my shirt.
Oh, right, Faith has totally lost her memory, then she started wailing on you and all you can think about is 'Oo, do I need to soak this in cold water?'
 
'I don't think she did, is it still bleeding? Yikes! Ok, you keep... um, press and hold! Tara! Stay in bed, I mean it! You might need stitches in your cheek, it's pretty deep. How could she do this to you?'
 
'She doesn't remember, Will. It's ok, it doesn't hurt too much.'
 
Lie of the millennium.
 
'I don't mean how, I mean how? You're Buffy, why didn't you fight back?'
 
'I did.'
 
No, that's the lie of the millennium.
 
'I'd hate to see what she looks like then. No! keep the towel on it. If you hadn't been getting up and walking round it wouldn't have started bleeding again. Willow knows best, listen to Willow, listen to Willow!'
 
I watch her move her finger in front of my face, like she's trying to hypnotise me.
I start to laugh and it just turns into a sob.
It makes the pain in my head fifty million times worse.
 
She puts her arms round me, carefully, as I cry.
I did this!
I should have stayed with her and made sure she didn't keep getting up.
She should have rested.
I should've been looking after her!
 
After a little while, I give Will an 'I'm alright now' squeeze and she lets go of me.
 
'I'm ok, I don't want to cry anymore, it's making me feel sick. Head hurts too much. I know she remembers me Will, somewhere she does! Before she hit me, I saw it, I saw it in her eyes. She called me B!'
 
She looks down at me and I don't think she believes me.
But I saw it.
I did!
The way she wiped my tears away.
The way she called me B.
Not Buffy, B; B!
 
I close my eyes and hold onto that thought.
 
She does remember me, deep down I know she does!