Disclaimers: Joss
owns them, not me. I make no claims. No harm intended.
Comments: Slayers
Do Christmas will commence right after this. It will not be long.
Titles: It's Latin.
Well done to Vicki for figuring out the last one. Gold star to ya.
Date Stamp: Miss
K, aka Kitty wrote this 14.12.01
Authors Comments:
Pebblin mentioned doing a mainly dialogue piece. It was going to
be SDV 64, and for a whole hour it was. Then I deleted it off the
site and completely changed everything. Everytime I read
it I kept thinking about fluffy bunnies, and at present the only
bunnies I want should be in a pie, with lots of pastry.
Extra: You know,
I'm not even in a bad mood, and I don't have PMS! Terrible ain't
it.
Faith's POV
Slayers Do Vegas LXVIII
- Fortes Fortuna Iuvat
She looks at me and I know she's
telling me the truth.
She doesn't care.
I feel her fingers on my face as
she cleans my cuts up.
I stare at my hands in my lap.
This is it, this is the end, I've
lost her.
This ship has sailed, that's what
she said.
'Can I say something, B. I know you
don't care so you shouldn't mind really.'
'Sure, vent if you want to, Faith.'
'Ok, here's the thing. I got drunk.
I'm an asshole when I'm drunk. I... I was beating myself up over
getting, I don't know, tamed. The old me was rebelling. You know
what I'm like, I get all spur of the moment and act like an idiot.
In the alley, what I said, I didn't mean it. Honest, I didn't mean
it. Even after it came out of my mouth, I wanted to smack myself
for saying it. You have to believe me. I didn't mean it, B!'
'I do believe you.'
I look up into her eyes, but they
haven't changed.
They're empty, like, hollow.
My eyes start to sting.
It's not from the antiseptic.
'But, if you believe me then... I
don't know what to do. I don't know what else to say.'
'You don't have to say anything else,
Faith. You're sorry, you've told me. Thank you.'
'I got drunk, I was being all stupid,
I didn't mean it, I swear!'
'I know. It's ok.'
'But it's not, it's not ok. I want
things to be like they were before. You're looking at me like I'm
not even here, B!'
'Things have changed. They've changed
and I don't think they can go back to the way they were.
Not after that.'
'You do care!'
'I never said I didn't. I'm not an
idiot, Faith. I'm not going to keep banging my head against a brick
wall. Not even if that brick wall's you. I've been in love before
and I'll get over this. I'll get over you. We'll still be friends,
that's a given. I don't want to lose that with you.'
'What are you talking about? I said
something stupid, I was fuckin' drunk! Shit, like you've never been
drunk and done something bad. You forgetting about, well, completely
forgetting everything?'
She presses the cotton wool into
a cut on my face, and I have to grit my teeth to stop from making
a sound.
'I know what happened. This isn't
a competition, Faith. I've done bad things, you've done bad things.
It doesn't matter anymore.'
'It does! It does fuckin'
matter. It matters to me! You want to let what we have
go?'
'We don't have anything,
Faith. Like you said "B isn't my girlfriend. So what, we sleep together,
big-fuckin'-deal." Direct quote, word for word. Or do you mean the
sex? I'm not going to lie, the sex is... words fail me for the sex.
You want to still do that?'
'No, you're not getting what I
mean. I was being an asshole, trying to be like the old me. But
I'm not the old me anymore! I'm the new me, the new one. With
you.'
'And what happens the next time you
want to try out the old Faith? You go out and slut yourself round
to try and prove that you're not being tamed?'
'No! You're twisting what I'm saying.
I don't mean that. I don't think I'm being tamed, I mean, maybe
I did, but I don't now. I'd been drinking for hours, B. It was the
booze!'
'We're talking in circles, Faith.
You're sorry for what you said. Ok. You didn't mean it. I believe
you, you know that. I'm not mad at you. You know that to. Why are
we still talking about things we've already sorted out. Oh, because
it's not going the way you want it to, is that it?'
'Well... yeah, I mean, no! You're
trying to confuse me. I don't want to split with you. I want
to be with you. I want to do stuff with you. I like being
around you, with you!'
'That's why we don't have to lose
our friendship. We can still do stuff, be around each other. It'll
be hard for a while but we'll deal, Faith.'
'You're not listening to me. I don't
want to deal! Why are you being like this?'
'Like what?'
'Like... I don't know, like
you don't give a shit about me!'
'Faith we're talking in circles.
This is pointless. I'm tired, I need to go to sleep.'
'We're not talking in circles. We
need to sort his out, now!'
'We can talk tomorrow. I'm tired,
Faith.'
'I don't want to...'
'Faith! I'm tired! We'll talk tomorrow.
Now either get in bed and go to sleep or stop talking to me so I
can.'
'B, I... love you.'
Nothing.
Empty, nothing, staring at me, she's
just staring at me, like I'm not here.
She finishes cleaning my face and
softly kisses me.
Her lips leave mine and she strokes
my hair.