Disclaimers: Joss owns them,
not me. No harm intended.
Comments: I think my fluffy cloud mood has gone. Blame Star! *snigger*. BnF members will know what I mean. Things won't be all angsty. Also, you may have noticed that I seem to have found the Italic k/board shortcut! Woo! I'm so pathetic, I know. *s*
Title: The title is a Kate Bush song.
Comments: I think my fluffy cloud mood has gone. Blame Star! *snigger*. BnF members will know what I mean. Things won't be all angsty. Also, you may have noticed that I seem to have found the Italic k/board shortcut! Woo! I'm so pathetic, I know. *s*
Title: The title is a Kate Bush song.
This is Buffy's POV.
Slayers Do Vegas IX- Don't Put Your
Foot on the HeartBrake
I'm still lying on Faith's bed.
What just happened?
I mean, we were playing around and then...
God, I don't know what's going on with us anymore.
Not that there IS an us.
Not like that, I don't think so anyway.
There isn't...
Is there?
What just happened?
I mean, we were playing around and then...
God, I don't know what's going on with us anymore.
Not that there IS an us.
Not like that, I don't think so anyway.
There isn't...
Is there?
Everything's got so weird between us lately.
We've always flirted... well she's always flirted with me.
She does it with everyone though!
It's Faith.
But still...
It's always different when she does it with me, I can't explain it.
It's just... more.
No; not more, just...
It's just, different.
We've always flirted... well she's always flirted with me.
She does it with everyone though!
It's Faith.
But still...
It's always different when she does it with me, I can't explain it.
It's just... more.
No; not more, just...
It's just, different.
We've been getting closer and closer as the
months have gone on.
I can rely on Faith, well I can now.
We got over that whole 'kicking each others butts' a long time ago.
Slayers!
Too fiery for our own good sometimes.
I can rely on Faith, well I can now.
We got over that whole 'kicking each others butts' a long time ago.
Slayers!
Too fiery for our own good sometimes.
I swing my feet off the bed to get up, and
accidentally step on her bag.
The handles catch round my feet and I just manage to stop myself from falling over it.
DAMN!
I kick the bag in a moment of kiddie temper, spilling the contents out over the floor.
Way to go B!
God, now I'm even calling myself that in my own head!
The handles catch round my feet and I just manage to stop myself from falling over it.
DAMN!
I kick the bag in a moment of kiddie temper, spilling the contents out over the floor.
Way to go B!
God, now I'm even calling myself that in my own head!
BUFFY!
YOUR NAME'S BUFFY!
YOUR NAME'S BUFFY!
I kneel down and pick up the clothes and stuff
all over the floor.
I fold everything up carefully, placing it all back in her leather bag.
I fold everything up carefully, placing it all back in her leather bag.
I pick a pair of knickers up.
Christ?
What's the point of these?
They wouldn't cover anything!
Ok, just put them in the bag and move on.
Christ?
What's the point of these?
They wouldn't cover anything!
Ok, just put them in the bag and move on.
I pick up a leather bound book and turn it
over in my hands.
Faith's not the kind to read books?
I look at the embossing on the front.
Faith's not the kind to read books?
I look at the embossing on the front.
'Faith Knight's Diary'
I look at it for a second, wondering when she
started keeping one of these?
No, I shouldn't.
It's private.
She'd never read mine.
Well, she could never find mine.
Not the point, Buffy Summers!
Put it back.
No, I shouldn't.
It's private.
She'd never read mine.
Well, she could never find mine.
Not the point, Buffy Summers!
Put it back.
Well?
PUT IT BACK!
PUT IT BACK!
I can't though.
I know this makes me a complete shit.
But I need to know what's going on in her head.
There's been so much stress between us in the past few months.
Not bad stress, not like 'I can't stand you, I'm gonna kill you!'
It feels like something's going on with her, but I can't put my finger on it.
I know this makes me a complete shit.
But I need to know what's going on in her head.
There's been so much stress between us in the past few months.
Not bad stress, not like 'I can't stand you, I'm gonna kill you!'
It feels like something's going on with her, but I can't put my finger on it.
I can't believe I'm doing this.
Still, my fingers aren't listening as they flick through the pages.
I sit on the floor, with my back against her bed.
Still, my fingers aren't listening as they flick through the pages.
I sit on the floor, with my back against her bed.
She has nice handwriting, it's kind of beautiful,
in a loopy, manic sort of way.
I laugh as I remember you can tell a lot from a person's handwriting.
Yeah, this writing is Faith!
I laugh as I remember you can tell a lot from a person's handwriting.
Yeah, this writing is Faith!
I stop on the last few written pages, just
before we left for Vegas.
"It's getting so hard to be around her.
You'd think big bad Faith could just deal, well I can. I HAVE been, but, I
don't know, it's getting harder and harder. I had to stop myself from touching
her again, today. Felt like such an idiot. We were practising some fight moves
and she was all breathless and there was this bit of hair on her face. I wanted
to brush it away. I didn't. I think I just leg sweeped her instead, she landed
on her ass and that was the end of that. I'm so pathetic. Crushing over her.
Crushing over Buffy Summers! What a prize chump! The girl wouldn't give me
a second look. Do I like making myself feel bad or something? 'Cause I'm doing
a good job of it. Maybe I should go away for a bit? Take a trip? Get her out
of my head. Fuck, I don't know. Maybe everything will look better in the morning,
yeah, I'll sleep on it. Write some more in ya tomorrow. "
I swallow, hard.
I can feel a shiver run down my entire body, the kind you get that tells you something spooky is happening.
I didn't know that she... I mean, I so didn't know.
I thought maybe she liked me, MAYBE, but not...
I can feel a shiver run down my entire body, the kind you get that tells you something spooky is happening.
I didn't know that she... I mean, I so didn't know.
I thought maybe she liked me, MAYBE, but not...
She wanted to come away on her own?
Without me?
Derr, Buffy, of course without you!
Think that's the whole point, you idiot!
You wanted to get away from me.
Me?
I feel a tear run down my cheek.
How'd things end up like this?
Without me?
Derr, Buffy, of course without you!
Think that's the whole point, you idiot!
You wanted to get away from me.
Me?
I feel a tear run down my cheek.
How'd things end up like this?
I hear a click of the door, and then Faith's
standing in front of me.
She opens her mouth to say something, but then sees what I have in my hands.
She opens her mouth to say something, but then sees what I have in my hands.
No!
NO!
SHIT!
NO!
SHIT!
She snatches the book out of my hands.
'WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? This is my fuckin'
diary? Whatcha do, B? Go down my bag while I was gone? You read my diary?!'
There's panic and anger in her voice.
So much anger!
There's panic and anger in her voice.
So much anger!
Oh my god!
What have I done?
What have I done?
'Faith... I...'
'DON'T SAY ANOTHER MOTHERFUCKIN' WORD! I TRUSTED
YOU, B!'
'Wait, please Faith, I can explain?'
I stand up and start to move towards her, but the look on her face stops me, dead.
I stand up and start to move towards her, but the look on her face stops me, dead.
She just blows up.
Like a fire that blasts back on you when you open the door on it and feed it oxygen.
One big, dangerous, unpredictable explosion!
Like a fire that blasts back on you when you open the door on it and feed it oxygen.
One big, dangerous, unpredictable explosion!
She grabs the collars of my shirt, toppling
us back onto her bed.
She snarls close to my face.
All her weight's on me, her legs tight round mine, stopping me from moving.
She snarls close to my face.
All her weight's on me, her legs tight round mine, stopping me from moving.
'Have a good laugh did ya, B? Laughing at poor
little me? How much did you read?'
What have I done?
I've got to make everything right.
I've got to make everything right.
'Faith? I didn't mean to... I was worried about
you... I'm sorry! I only read one page. One page, I swear, I'm so sorry!'
It didn't work.
The rage on her face makes her features look almost unreal.
The rage on her face makes her features look almost unreal.
'One page? Oh, that's fine then... I shouldn't
be so FUCKIN' MAD THEN, should I?'
She tightens her grip on my collar, squeezing
it round my neck, making it hard for me to breath.
I just need to calm her down!
I just need to calm her down!
'Faith? Please, you're hurting me...Please...'
I move my hands to stroke hers.
Gently, softly.
I feel her relax slightly.
Her hands release there grip on my collar and I take a deep breath.
Christ!
I look up at her face, and what I see looking back at me breaks me clean in two.
A tear falls from her eyes and drips gently onto my cheek.
Gently, softly.
I feel her relax slightly.
Her hands release there grip on my collar and I take a deep breath.
Christ!
I look up at her face, and what I see looking back at me breaks me clean in two.
A tear falls from her eyes and drips gently onto my cheek.
What have I done?
'I... B? I'm sorry... I didn't mean to...'
She rolls off me, and sits on the edge of the bed, with her head in her hands.
She rolls off me, and sits on the edge of the bed, with her head in her hands.
'Faith? It's ok. You haven't done anything
wrong... I didn't mean to read it. I tripped over your bag and everything
came out. I... shit, I'm sorry!'
'Where are my cigs?'
She gets up, I see her wipe her face.
She picks her pack up and lights one.
I watch her walk over to a chair, on the other side of the room, and sit down, heavily.
She gets up, I see her wipe her face.
She picks her pack up and lights one.
I watch her walk over to a chair, on the other side of the room, and sit down, heavily.
What do I say?
Everything's going so wrong.
Everything's going so wrong.
I swing myself off the bed, I want to rub my
throat, to soothe the soreness, but I don't want her to see me do it.
Faith on a massive guilt trip, is all we need now!
Faith on a massive guilt trip, is all we need now!
God, I don't know what to do to make it right?
Well curiosity killed this cat.
Damn it!
Damn it!
To be continued...