Miscarriage and Stillbirth Grief: Page 11


        UNHELPFUL CLICHES:

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        There are many statements and comments that are made to Bereaved Parents that are meant to help, but are really quite hurtful. Most people do not know what to say, feel they must say something, and come out with Unhelpful Cliches.

        It is true that some of the statements that people make are "Truisms." They may be acceptable at some time to some people, but NEVER to a newly Bereaved Parent. To grieving people they appear to be un-feeling comments and compound their Grief pain.

        The following list has been compiled by many grieving parents.
        • You can always have another one.
        • Be thankful you never knew him.
        • You're young enough to try again.
        • You should not have worked, not after the previous one.
        • God wanted another angel in Heaven.
        • It would have been deformed.
        • You should have stayed in bed.
        • You will soon get over it.
        • Time heals all wounds.
        • It is always darkest before the dawn.
        • Never mind, things will look up.
        • There must have been something wrong with it.
        • Behind every dark clouds there is a silver lining.
        • You wouldn't have wanted her if she wasn't perfect.
        • I know just how you feel.
        There are many, many more that I have heard over the many years that I have been assisting couples who have had a baby die. I am sure you could add to this list as well.


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