Leo P. Olobia
Home
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Journal
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Pinoys in the High Seas
Hauntings By the Polish Spirit
Classical Music in
Your Being
Searching For My Own
Theater Group 1 and 2
A Traveler's Diarrhea
Coming Home, Indeed
Philosophical Lessons
in Life
My Romance In Miami
High School Memoirs 1
and 2
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About the CD:
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I have un upcoming CD eintitled "Piano
Potpourri", a selection of my favorite classical, broadway and
standard music. It is currently being edited and mastered in Vancouver,
Canada. As soon as the final product is released it will be posted here for
your listening enjoyment.
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Searching for My Own Theater Group (Part 2)
My continued stay with
the theater group gave me a great opportunity to be a leader, an actor, a
servant to my acquired position as Vice-President of the foundation. Acting
was juxtaposed with heavy burden from endless meetings, collaborative works,
impromptu performances, to name some. My task as musical director soared
after being assigned to learn more folksongs, chants from far-flung places
in Leyte. Beneath all the challenges facing me each day, there was a fire of
acrimony and sarcasm burning inside my system for no reason at all. I became
very moody and unyielding for just about anything. Even my own friends
noticed this change of tide. I lost my friendly air.
This series of objectionable behavior led to a drinking night with a fellow member ending up in a violent scene where I literally destroyed some of the groups' priceless possessions - video tape of some performance where I was the main cast, musical instruments and some costumes. I destroyed them because I wanted to erase everything that I was part of. It was my own declaration of death I wanted to tell everyone. I didn't mean to hurt anyone. For that I was misconstrued.
There was a cloud of evil spirit mocking me as bitter words were said to an innocent friend for whom I directed my animosity. She was a dear person who, for the last months, was my close companion. Love got in the way. A misunderstood friendship it was, I divulged way beyond even if I thought it was not going to happen. I finally revealed everything to her which ultimately destroyed me. I was not ready for any disappointment and that night was the contrary to my expectation. We haven't said anything to each other for a long time but sure enough, time has healed the wound and now we are great friends once again. She is married now and has kids of her own.
My repugnant state led to an indefinite suspension which isolated me from everyone in the group except those close to me who languished in my demise and visited me at home. I signed a separation paper with a clear indication that it was the end of my life in the group. As I recall, it was a painful day having to see my name blocked out of the list with my own friends' signatures as witnesses.
I was literally detached from every performance and I remember one time when our adviser came to me and gave me a hug while the group was performing onstage. I thought I was being pardoned but it was a gesture of farewell which hurt me even more.
I slowly realized I was no longer welcome and for that, new friends came along. The other ex-members where there ready to heed my call. I needed somebody to hear me out. I needed to laugh once again.
It was a triumph in the end when my father who was against the group, asked me if I had resigned. I told him so and he was elated. I missed being around the house doing my daily routines in the piano or eating with the whole family. There was a great part of me that was lost in those years with the group.
It has been almost ten years now since that horrible evening. Relationships were destroyed while some restored. I have been in contact with some of them who managed to bail out for some irreconcilable differences. They have their own stories to tell.
We still see each other once in a while trying to live those lost moments. Tears have turned into laughter. Hatred has been calmed for some. Distance has silenced the agony.
There will be more new members in the group as there are right now. They will experience another level of drama and excitement. They might cherish each other's company yet one might ask, for how long?
My story is not complete. Time has erased some details yet the memory of forgiveness and understanding is very strong. Even in those years of absence, one can feel the nearness of our hearts. We have a stong pact in us. Those long years of togetherness have become our force to move on, be ourselves, be extraordinary if we can because at some point in our life were these kind of people.
Posted at BQR 12/08/04.