Comrades! The Hour of Decision is at Hand!

Our Homeland faces its gravest threat. The fascist hordes of the Evil Axis menace us with the Damoclean Sword of annihilation. Even now, the Enemy is conspiring to launch a twenty trillion megaton nuclear attack against our heartland of progressive mankind.

Our People's Police and Security, spearheaded by Comrades Tenet and Mueller, have unmasked numerous other heinous and treacherous schemes:-

The Axis running-dogs are plotting with the Aztec Fascist Army to drain the Rio Grande in order provide a pathway to treacherously invade our southern flank;

They are collaborating with counter-revolutionary wreckers within our own scientific community to produce genetically-engineered Colorado beetles to destroy our food supplies;

They are planning to fill the ball at the Superbowl with concrete, to disable our Sport Players and to demoralize our socialist public.

Comrades! Do not give in to the black choler of despair! Even now our revolutionary forces are fighting back against these agents of Axis imperialism. Soon we will implement our master plan to destroy the Enemy and drive him back to his dark and sandy lairs.

Be of good heart, comrades! And always remember. Here in Washington, in the Oval Office, sits our heroic leader Comrade Bush, pi-jawed and defiant. No turkey can unman him, no pretzel lay him low. Let us draw courage from his example and, facing forwards, march back-to-back to world victory.

May our People's Army be victorious, now and ever! May our heroic Revolution spread across the face of the Earth!! Long live our Corporate States of America!!!

(Tumultuous applause. All stand. Earth-shaking acclamation.

Bats, already decamped to the belfry of the nearby Church of the Second Coming of the Profit Microsoft, scatter anew in panic as they find they are not safe from the acoustic bombardment here either.)