Pain

“I think we may have another lead” Scott said hanging up the phone and facing Lucy.

“Where now?” She asked. The more days that went by without her baby the harder it was to be optimistic. This was their thirteenth lead this week. Their search for Christina seemed hopeless.

“A little island off the coast of Puerto Rico” Scott answered looking over a few papers scattered haphazardly across the table. “Question is to we follow this lead or the twelve others?”

“I don’t know Scott” Lucy sighed helplessly. She hated feeling helpless especially when it came to people she cared about. “I really don’t know”

“I’ll fuel up the jet and go whereever instinct tells me”

“Like that instinct that lost me my baby” Lucy mumbled under her breath.

Scott looked Lucy in the eyes. He had enough. “Lucy I said I was sorry. Okay? It was a stupid move but we ARE going to find her you have to believe that”

Lucy just stared at him for a moment. Had she really said that aloud? She couldn’t tell anymore. For god sakes she couldn’t even remember the last time she had an hours worth of sleep. Well she said it might as well justify it. “You said you were sorry? Well that just makes everything okay I guess huh? Well it doesn’t! Sorry does not bring Christina home even if we do find her who’s to say I’ll ever see her again?”

~!~!~!~!~!~

Kevin was sitting by the duck pond head in his hands. He just had this feeling. This strange feeling inside him that sent chills up his spine.

Eve walked up to him. Kissing his hands moving them away from his face. “Hey you wanna little raw footage” she laughed now kissing his face.

He kissed her back without much zest. “Not now.”

“Why not” she asked giving him a playful pout. Kevin had the worse feeling in the world “I have to go” He said fumbling for his car keys.

“What? Where?” Eve asked following him out to the driveway. She knew. Deep in her heart she knew.

“I just don’t have a good feeling” Kevin explained kissing Eve on the cheek forcing a smile. “Hey it’s probably nothing. I’ll be right back. I promise” Without even waiting for an answer he got in his car driving off and leaving Eve alone.

~!~!~!~!~!~!~

“What’s that supposed to mean?!?” Scott yelled. He just thanked god Serena was with Lee and Gail tonight.

“Like you don’t know!” Lucy cried “What I mean PAL is that you took Serena away from me who says you won’t do the same with Christina? I have no rights to that baby besides what I feel in my heart but that means absolutely NOTHING to a judge! Nothing!”

Scott shook his head “How’s this for trust Lucy? I’m your husband! You are supposed to TRUST me!”

“Trust? Ha! You mean trust you so you can lie to me and hold MY little girls over my head like puppet strings?”

“They are NOT YOUR little girls!” Scott screamed.

“How DARE you say that, Scott! I am the ONLY mother either one of them has EVER known!” Lucy yelled failing at holding back her tears.

Kevin was about to knock at the door when he caught a glance inside the firehouse window. Another screaming match at the Baldwins. Lucy had told him about them and from what he heard there were many. This was the first time he had actually walked into one though. He took a deep breath and stepped in.

“Hey what’s going on” Kevin asked concerned seeing Lucy’s tear streaked face. He walked over to her taking her in his arms almost instinctively.

Lucy had been having “sessions” with Kevin ever since Julie took Christina. This was all Scott needed to see. “Well now that your knight in shining armor is here I guess there’s no more need for me. See ya DOC!” Scott jolted out of the house slamming the door behind him.

She sits alone by the lamppost
Trying to find a thought that's escaped her mind
She says, ''Dad's the one I love the most
But Stipe's not far behind,'"

Julie felt the soft tropical breeze through her hair cuddling the baby to her body. “Look Christina. Look at this a tropical paradise. Our own tropical paradise. And no one is ever going to find us. I promise.”

She never lets me in
Only tells me where she's been
When she's had too much to drink
I say that I don't care
I just run my hand through her dark hair
Then I pray to God
''You gotta help me fly away.''

“I’m coming!” Eve called running down the steps wiping her face with her sleeve and straightening herself out. She finally answered the door letting out a small cry “Scott!”

“Can I come in?” Scott asked.

“Of course” Eve answered moving out of the doorway letting him step past her. She shut the door and turned to him. “Pardon the expression but you look like hell”

Scott looked up noticing her red swollen eyes like she had been crying “Let me tell ya. You don’t look that great yourself either Lambert...or wait is it still Collins?”

“Who knows” Eve said.

“Look like you do” Scott answered pointing to the ring lying on the coffee table.

Eve sighed. “Hey Baldwin I don’t see a ring on that finger either”

Scott nodded “No you don’t. No thanks to that husband of yours who can’t keep his nose in his own business”

“Excuse me! What about YOUR wife who I must say puts on quite a performance” Eve argued.

“Yeah well…” Scott started. “This is stupid. I’m already fighting with Lucy I don’t need to fight with you too.”

“I guess your right”

“Yeah and it look like we both know…”

“Our marriages are over” Eve finished for him.

And just
Let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be
Let her be

This morning I woke up alone
Found a note standing by the phone
Saying ''Maybe, maybe I'll be back someday''
I wanted to look for you
You walked in, I didn't know just what I should do
So I sat back down and had a beer
and felt sorry for myself

Chris sipped down what seemed like his millionth martini has he stared at the picture of Julie and Christina. He couldn’t believe he was so stupid to believe that Julie actually loved him. That they were really going to be a family. Chris sighed he didn’t even get a dime of her money. He just kept telling himself that’s why he was so depressed. Really how could he fall in love with a serial killer? The money…it was only for the money. Then why was he still sitting here staring at that goddamned picture?

Last night I tried to leave
Cried so much I could not believe
She was the same girl I fell in love with long ago
She went in the back to get high
I sat down on my couch and cried, yelling
''Oh, mama, please help me!''
Won't you hold my hand

Kevin had never seen somebody shake so much in their life. He looked down at Lucy who looked like she was actually struggling to breath. Then it all came back to him. Jasmine Island the only person there for him was her he couldn’t let her down now.

“D…Doc” Lucy stuttered.

“Yes?” He asked partly relieved she was still “with” him.

“I…I can’t… Doc… I just can’t…. I can’t do this… I cannot lose her…Doc please…just don’t let me lose her…” Lucy got out in between tears.

“You won’t, Lucy. You cant. It’s not possible. I don’t care to what ends of the earth Julie takes that baby. In your heart… In your heart where it really matters you are her mother and no judges or serial killers can change that. You are the only mother she has ever known Lucy.”

Lucy sobbed harder. “Say it, Doc. I just need to hear you say it.”

Kevin tried to hold back the tears thinking of the night Lucy lost their baby. “I love you, Lucy Coe. So if you’re ever terrified, confused, furious, anything at all hold onto that. I Love You.” He knew she could hear the tears in his voice but it didn’t really matter. She was right she needed to hear those words. Just about has badly has he needed to say them.

“I Love you” She whispered back almost inaudibly letting him hold her, letting her feel him close to her, but mostly letting them both cry.

Let her cry
If the tears fall down like rain
Let her sing
If it eases all her pain
Let her go
Let her walk right out on me
And if the sun comes up tomorrow
Let her be
Let her be

“Let Her Be” by Hootie and The Blowfish

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