Welcome
Hey minna-chan! Welcome to Fantasy Wishes, a place where you'll find out more about the life of Yuki Kamitoki.See if you could answer this riddle.
I am not as sweet as the honey dew on a crispy day, nor as bitter as the biting winds on a frosty night, so who am I really?
Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki hopefully wishing.. @ 1:51 pm
The concert
Date: 07/15/03Time: 11:39 am
Current Mood: Hmm..
Current Song: Simple and Clean
*sigh* I seriously hate rewriting what I wrote. And it seems even though I hate it, I still have to do it. >.> Bleeeeh.
I'll try to rewrite what I wrote yesterday, and just to warn you, it might be a long entry.
Yesterday... I spent most of the day watching and rewatching the concert. It was wonderful. I think I'm entering the music world once again. I mean, although I listened to songs and such, I never really did pay much attention to anything else. Didn't have a care for the new singers, in which the number is growing from the last time I did pay some attention. And all those other stuffs; kinda hard to explain. But anyways. I kept on replaying this particular song, it's roughly pronounciated in Cantonese as Ho Sum Fun Suo. The first word is a good, second a heart, third and fourth as let go or break up. Something like that. I love that song! Kept on replaying it over and over again. My brother complained to me about it, and in the end had to go upstair on the comp just to not hear it. He told me later on, after I woke up, that he could still hear it though. Hehe. Too bad for him.
I was surprised about the results of the winner. I thought maybe Eunice would get it. But she didn't get anything. Her voice is really pretty, and the song she chose, was lovely. I really like it alot. But the one that Warren chose.. it's good, but it's a bit old in a way. Listening the the concert, I was revived into days of old. Cause some of the songs sung were songs I heard a lot where I was young.
Anyways. At first, I really didn't understand why Warren got the Goon Gwon. His voice was a bit thick, and I thought that would of cost him some points to the total. But as it seemed, it actually was the opposite. When he sang which his thick voice.. it was pretty good. I mean, you didn't hear any loud breaths taken, that you would hear from some of the other singers.
Soo. The concert was exciting. The songs were lovely. The singers were wonderful. And now, I'm gonna go. But before I go, I'll post some selector results I took.
Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki clicked @ sometime
Need to free more space ><
Date: 07/13/03Time: 4:50 pm
Current Mood: Frustrated
Current Song: None
Bleeeh. Today's such a not so good day. I spent most of my time on the comp deleting stuffs. And at first, it was okay, I mean I'm glad I finally starting to delete really needed space in a way. But then, soon it turned out that all the things I deleted in D Drive has no effect whatsoever to freeing some space. xX Grr. So I had to go to the C Drive and find some stuffs to delete. By then I wasn't so glad and everything anymore, so it turned out to be a tiring, frustrating job. Not to mention, everytime I deleted something, and went back to check the space, it still stayed where it was. I had to turn to deleting MP3s and movies. T___T
And also, I missed videotaping Wuri's Family!!! T____________________T I lost like 30 minutes of it, cause I was stupid and knew that the War of Genders show was like an hour long, and it'll probably overlap into the time I setted to videotape WF, but I completely didn't keep that in mind and fell asleep sometime in the 8th episode. Wahhh!!! I feel sooo bad now, so regretful of my actions, that nothing could describe the deeper despair I had when I woke up in the morning and realized that.
I feel so sad and emotional now. And I missed the part where they first kissed!! Okay, I feel even more sad now. *burst out crying* I stayed up for the whole night and morning just to tape an episode and 30 minutes missing of another episode. This is just so fine. Grrrrrrr..
Another thing that bothers me, my comp kept on shutting down just about half an hour ago in a pattern that lasted for about 3 times. I get on the comp. I go to My Computer. I click on it and after many clickings, find myself in the Kazaa folder. I search for something to delete. Find it, and play it. It goes into the movie thing for about a minute, and then suddenly the comp freezes. Then, I tiredly restart it, and do what I just did. Once again it freezes on me. This time, my anger flares up. I mean, after receiving the shock about missing the show, I'm angry, and regretful, and don't want to think about it, but it pops into my mind. This freezing comp thing just added all the frustration, and as I played the movie thing once more, I just pray. Dearly pray. Pray with all that I have in me for now, and just hope, just hope that it would last through the end, and maybe I could do what I normally do on the web for a while before it died on me again. And it did just what I hope. So I'm okay for now.
Kay, uhm, done ranting a bit about the frustrations, there's still one more, but I'm gonna post the results for some things I took now:
| ||||||||||||||||||||
Anyways. I feel spent up with energy right now, so I'm gonna end this, and just yeah. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki sighed emotionally drained @ 5:32 pm
Feeling different
Date: 07/10/03Time: 2:37 pm
Current Mood: Different
Current Song: None
Right now, at this minute, I feel different. Like I'm not really here, but I am. And that feeling.. it's strange. It makes me wonder. And sometimes at some point at night, before I sleep, I always dream about what could happen, an alternate reality you could say. Upon discovering that, I'm wondering if that realization is what makes me love alternate realities in stories...
Life is very strange at this point, unsure, wavering..
Hmm.. Well I'm at Shadowcat's house now. Gonna have a sleepover, and I don't know why, but I feel like I don't exactly want to be here now, at this minute. Not because of anything relating to them, it's just a feeling. No matter what lies ahead. I think I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid of what's gonna happen, who I'm gonna be, what troubles I have to face.. it's really unnerving.
But I'm gonna let this whole fear and wonder down for now. So there won't be as much burden as there could be..
Soo. Had noodles, though it was more like spagetti without the sauce for lunch, and then some soup. The soup's pretty good, but the only thing really lacking is the soup base. Yeah. What else.. Ashley and Moon played volleyball and Ashley lost twice to Moon. Heh. It t'was funny. Annnnd, I kept on telling Ashley to put her hands down and close her eyes so I could throw the ball at her face. She wouldn't let me in the beginning but then she yielded. I didn't really throw the ball, I usually wait for a long time, but when I did, it hit her right in the forehead! XDXDXD
*score!* But she threatened to tie me with a rope, and then her key chain when there weren't any ropes. *pout* So not fair!
Bleeeeeh. Anyways. I don't feel jokingish now. When I'm calmed down, which I am, I just wander into thoughts that I shouldn't, and don't want to but secretly do. Soooo.. I'll end this entry now, even though I feel like writing more. To just put my thoughts down. ... Bai..
Yuki Kamitoki slowly wandered away @ 2:57 pm
Short description of some things that happened..
Date: 07/08/03Time: 6:40 am
Current Mood: Okay
Current Song: Living in the Plesure World
Grr. My comp died when I was finishing up my entry yesterday, but luckily I saved the quiz results. So, at least I'm not that angry. *sigh*
Yesterday, I made more cranes won ton. Except this time, there were no meat. *disappointed* And I didn't even get a crane! xX
And.. I visited some wonderful domains, revisited some interesting blogs, read some tutorials, and basically just surf. It was fun, although I'm really thinking that I'm wasting my vacation doing practially nothing really useful, which is sad. >>
Wells, the sleepover plans' been made. It's on Thursday, hafta be there at noon, bring useful things, such as:
- pajamas
- tooth brush (verrry important)
- the tape Spirited Away
- money (i'll explain that later)
- towel (if you're gonna take a bath there,, or not..)
- extra change of clothes (err. not exactlyy sure about this. you could ignore this if you want)
- board games/something entertaining
What else.. I don't think that's all I have to say. Umm. Oh yeah! I wrote like 300 words on Simple Love yesterday! *cheers* Aren't you proud of me? I hope to keep that continuing. Although when I wrote, it really didn't have any planning at all. *sweatdrop* Heh.
Anyways. I'm gonna end this. I saved lots, and lots of pictures today, and yesterday, and I'm going to see which ones I could use on a layout. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki smiled happily @ 6:53 pm
Quiz results
Date: 07/07/03Time: 2:59 am
Current Mood: So-so
Current Song: None
Hmm... some quiz results I took:
You represent... hope. You're quite a daydreamer and can be a hopeless
romantic. You enjoy being creative and don't
mind being alone at times. You have goals, and
know what you want in life... even if they are
a little far fetched.
What feeling do you represent?
brought to you by Quizilla
Sugar are sunshine aren't you? The kind of person
people turn to for help.... just make sure your
good nature doesn't get you trampled on.
How do people see you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Dragon Wings
What Kind of Wings are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Bunny!
What kind of furry are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
What color are you? (Anime Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Alice.
Which Alice in Wonderland Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
ICE is your chinese symbol!
What Chinese Symbol Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Love. You love life, you love all those around you and
the world that you live in. You are happiest
when you are doing something for someone else
or for the common good of mankind.
What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
This relationship is certainly a mystery! No one
knows how long you've known each other, and
you're pretty much complete opposites, but you
seem to get along well. Perhaps there's more to
your relationship than you let on...?
Which Majutsushi Orphen Pairing Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Luna, Luna, Luna... no more needed.
Which Chick from Order of the Phoenix Are You? (Spoilers)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are Remus Lupin,the kind werewolf and possibly
the sweetest person in the world^^ You like to
read and love hanging around with your best
friends
Which of the marauders are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
Guys just love...how shy and sweet you are!
What Do Guys Love About You? (with pics :3)
brought to you by Quizilla
Yuki Kami
Dau Yun and Yao Lai are best together!
Date: 07/06/03Time: 6:46 am
Current Mood: In pain
Current Song: Giving All My Love to You
Bleh. Such a bad day today. Yelled so much. Twisted my ankle. Comp shutted down on me. Dead nose. Dust. Can't even listen to music now. Grr.
Watched Wuri's House (??) yesterday, and the fifth (not exactly sure) episode was so sad. I missed a bit of the beginning, but I'll rewind and watch it. Anways. Dau Yun told Yao Lai that it was best that they shouldn't see each other anymore. He asked her if it was because of his mother (seems Dau Yun and Yao Lai's mother met before and talked), and she said no. She replied something about he being so chun chit with her was making her uncomfortable, and that it was going too fast. His eyes were soo.. full of pain. It seemed that although he only knew her for like less than a month, he fell in love with her already; even told her that at the train station. *sigh*
You know.. I think he got a haircut.. it looks a bit shorter than before. Er.. anyhow. If I were to choose someone that I would love, and he would love me back, I might choose a person like Yao Lai. Although it is only a movie, and he's only a character, my image of who he is, will probably still live on. *nods*
On to other things now.. I need to make more layouts. At least 5 by next week. One will be for the MP3 rotation site hopefully, one for this blog, and about three for Secrets Behind, seeing as one for the main layout, and the other two for maybe the new pages that will be put up. Don't have any ideas though.. x_X
Also, stories. I'll try, the keyword is try, it's even outline in bold, to work more on my fics. Preferably Simple Love, and A Dream's Desire. I'll try Shadowcat's way, not guarenteed that it will work, and write more. If I'm not able to get one, two or more chapters out that have to be minimum 1, 500 words, from any fics, hopefully at least two or three, in about two weeks, I'll declare this experiment thing unsuccessful, and wallow in depression while demanding that no more of planning out the stories instead of just waiting for inspiration to come words will be said. Kay? Kay.
Hmm.. you know what. I think I should kill some more MP3s from my comp, before it kills me. Some of them, I don't even like, but out of a thought that maybe they might have some use, or perhaps the feeling of killing something and not seeing it again, delays the inevitable. >>
Wells. Gonna go play games now. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki hummed @ 7:13 pm
Random things..
Date: 07/02/03Time: 7:37 am
Current Mood: Inspired in a way
Current Song: Ashita Moshi Kimiga Kowaretemo; Even if Tomorrow Dies
...
I'm bored. Seriously bored. I don't know what to do right now, except to blog and rant about being bored. Sad, isn't it?
Oh wells, life can't be perfect, and I can't expect to find something to kill my boredness until like 15 minutes later (show's starting). So for now, for this few but long minutes, I'm gonna rant, and bore you, so you can feel like ranting too, and be bored like me. xD
Heh. Soo. I had a quiet in a way Canada's Day yesterday. Actually I really didn't do anything. Just went on the comp, watched tv, and those usual stuffs. Makes me feel realllly lazy.
My dad filled out the swimming pool with water yesterday, so my brothers got to soak in the sun, although at first, they were gonna go to the beach, but then it rained, and I don't know why, but they came back. I had to hide the food I was eating, cause I was a mean ogre, and didn't want my brothers to eat it, which I'm sure they will if they saw it. ><
Alsos, on Monday, I went on a picnic with Ashley, Moon and Shadowcat. It was fun, although there were way too many bugs out there. We kept on shrieking on and on; t'was funny. That is until Ashley gave us that.. that.. frightening 'i'm gonna kill you if you don't shush up' stare Actually, I think she gave us lots of that before the picnic. Although it was more like 'i'm gonna strangle your neck with all my strength and hope it breaks if you bother me again' stare. Creeped me out.. xx
What else.. Ohh. The sleepover. It's on Friday, next week. For some suspicious reason Moon in a way doesn't want it on that day. Hmm. I know I don't want it cause of all the video tapings and everything, but Moon... *suspicious* She won't tell me, only later, and I'm impatient at this minute. But I'll try to be patient, somehow. Maybe rewatching some old shows, could make me forget it for now. And while doing that, I could organize it. Bleh.
Since I'm on the topic about movies, I'm gonna rant about some I rewatched again.
The Transporter: You know, I never really knew that the chinese girl (forgot her name) acted in English movies too. Kinda shocking at first. But she's a pretty good actress, I just wonder if when she talks, she has that same accent she has in the movie. Cause yeah. This movie is so.. actiony. I can never imagine myself able to fight like the lead guy. The way he fights, his reaction to fists and kicks aimed his way, is more than surprising. Ohh, I just wanna fight like him, although I know that probably won't come true. *pouts*
Simone: I find it hard how a movie could be made with real actors and computerized actresses. I mean, how does the guy act, when she's not even there? He can't really imagine her there, do you get it? I don't know how to explain this... I'll just leave this off like this, can't explain..
BRB. Show's starting.
Gone @ 8:00 pm
Back @ 11:20 pm
Back. Had dinner, watched some more shows, then came back up to blog again. We had hamburgers today, really yummy, with these round little cute potato french fries, and potato french fries shaped like onion rings. I really wanna eat those, but not quite at the moment. Ate too much; the hamburgers were really fat.
I'm gonna stop my ranting about the movies I watched for now. I don't have that feeling to make me continue writing it.
Sooo. You know, I might be able to forget. I had doubts, but I'm really sure I can. No matter what, even if I might never see him again, or if I do, life still has to go on. I still have to walk through life, and I rather go through it happily. What's the point in being sad when it changes nothing? Perhaps this way is much more better, but although I think that way, the only question is whether I could take that step...
I really want to just shout out everything that I harbor in my heart, all those little things that I'm afraid to tell, because then, I could be free; don't have to worry anymore. But the first step is always the hardest. So, in the end I always end up keeping it inside..
It's sad how I could only vent out in this blog.
Well, that's all for today. Really don't know what to say now. Bai..
Yuki Kamitoki sighed desolately @ 11:43 pm
Feeling sad now :(
Date: 06/28/03Time: 3:23 am
Current Mood: Unbelieving
Current Song: None
I can not believe this. I can not believe that I'd do it again. I can not believe there's even a next time! x_X
One of these days, I'm going to get the house burnt down by the speed I'm going with, buring this and that. -_-'
Argh. Well, you see, I burnt something again. Uh huh. Yep. Me, the one that has a short-term memory. I surely live up to that. I was making pizza, heating it up in the oven. And while it was heating up, I went upstairs on the comp. Somehow, time past by so fast. I completely forgot about the pizza until just few minutes ago, I think that my nose suddenly decided to wake up, and tell me that something was buring. >_<
So, being curious and all that, I went downstairs, and with a sinking doom, realized that the turning dial thing was stuck, which means in other words, it made my pizza burnt. >_>
I am so gonna be yelled at. First it was with the soup, and now pizza! Till now, the bowl thing that held the soup is still black. After so many days...
You should of heard the sound it made, when I suddenly turned the dial thing off, and opened the oven. It was like cheese melting, and the worse thing is, I don't really think it is cheese melting. I'm thinking it's somewhere along the lines of the things in the oven. <_<
One day, I'm going to learn my lesson, and not touch anything or even make anything that could burn within minutes. And if I do, pay attention.
Gah. I hope I could still go to the picnic after this.. Well. Hafta go now and try to savage what mess I got myself into (though probably it's useless), before I'm in a much more bigger doo doo. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki gulped @ 3:34 pm
Hmm, bored.. picnic and sleepover plans still have to be thought out..
Date: 06/28/03Time: 8:08 am
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: None
I'm thinking that the picnic should be on Monday, and it might be at Ashley's house, although a part of me still leans toward the park idea. Meh. But I still haven't talk this over with Shadowcat or Ashley. Gonna today.
And the sleepover. Not sure if we're gonna have it with the picnic thing together, I only briefly talked it over with Moon. Both of us on some level wants it to be played out.
Well, that's about all I can say. Or write. Don't feel much anything today. However I am dearly looking forward to the show thing at 9:00. I wanna see more of Yao Lai and Dau Yun things! Kay, going now. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki commented @ 8:16 pm
School's finally over..
Date: 06/26/03Time: 8:33 pm
Current Mood: Unsure
Current Song: Kite and Wind
I'm not happy, but I'm not really sad either. So, what am I really feeling?
These days, I haven't been on the computer much, with the graduation ceremony, and the dance, then the talent assembly and another dance. I dearly miss going on the comp and just wander around the net. But anyways.
I'm just gonna post what I happened to save up before the comp died out, and killed my entry on Monday. Just to tell you, it's talking about this guy's speech in the beginning.
[It was that good. I'm these kind of people that have a high demand when it comes to writing, and a speech is part of that in a way. So, it was wonderful.
And the plus is, he also added some humor into it, with his top 10 but 8 advice in life. i really want to know what the 9th and 10th advice was. Hmm...
Shadowcat got the academic award, and "Ashtray" got the class award. That really surprised me you know. I thought that Teddy would've gotten it, or JamJam or Mara, or people.
That grad ceremony wasn't that bad. Mostly we just sat in the seats, until our class was called out. The only thing I'm worrying about is tomorrow's dance. i have this lovely dress, but I just don't like the color. And I don't have matching heels for it. And the ones I have, the dressis dead. >< Not a good thing. I don't know what to do.
Then there's the report card. Somehow for some reason probably known to only me, I don't think I got a good report. I think I did worse than the last two terms, if it's possible or not. xX
Ohh. I'm just not gonna think about it. I'll think about the Harry Potter 5th book for a sec. I heard it's like $40 and people still buy it! *shocked* But it's rational]
And that's where I left off. So the dance was weird. Not really what I expected. I did wear the dress, and the shoes, but I felt really uncomfortable, yet nothing could really be done for that. We had some pizza, some drinks, and around the end some cake. I did dance (barely), but if I really did have my way, I might not of dance in the first place. But Lindie forced me. -__-'
After that, people soon left. But when my parents and brother came, and Kaomi's mom didn't, we just waited with her for her mom. Sometime it soon turned to 11 something. But luckily her mom did come.
I'm just skipping all the details here, but I don't feel like writing much.
Well, yesterday, we had the talent show in the third period, although we went around 10, 15 minutes before the end of second period. Shadowcat was seriously frighted aout second period, cause the day before, the teacher assigned us math to do, and we thought that it wasn't really serious, cause we thought it was a Day 2, and we wouldn't have Math until the last period, and that last period was when the dance was still going on, so, we didn't do it. Everybody went to school the next day, without their math work, and found out that it was a Day 5, which means there was Math second period. >_< But luckily, it turned out that we had a free period, although in the beginning it seems a bit unlike her to give us that.
There were less people in the class, and 7-up was decidedly the game we played, or maybe 4-up was correct. Some of us didn't play, only 5. Moon and Lindie were at the gym, preparing for the talent show. Same with some other people in our class. But then there were a bit less than 20 at school yesterday. *shrugs*
Sooo, when we were called down, I forgot my glasses. I couldn't really watch the show going on, though in a way I can. Moon and Lindie's song was second, it's pretty good. Lotsa people commented on it. And just to say, Moon, I'm sure his thoughts are the same as people, even if it doesn't seem like it when he voices something on that subject out.
Skipping the talent show, it was good, but too much details need to be written, and I don't have the patience right now to write it. I'll talk about the park (less detail, heh) then I'll end this entry. We went to the park yesterday with my cousins and brothers. It was okay, not really, and it was hot. Unbarebly hot. Seriously. It ended though in around an hour cause of this fight Kevi and Rayray had, *sigh* Everytime they meet, the argue. And it effects other people around that.
Kay, that's all I can blog for now. So hungry, and tired.. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki growled in hunger @ 9:38 pm
Feeling empty, like nothing matters..
Date: 06/22/03Time: 12:56 pm
Current Mood: Unsure
Current Song: None
I'm sure that's not the whole truth, but I just feel like there's something missing. I'm not sure if it's a good thing, or a bad thing, or even if.. yeah. So empty..
You know, I would've thought that with school coming to and end, that people'll post more on Secrets Behind, but they don't. It's soo empty now, I think I could see some dusts. >_< I'll try to post after this, but it'll probably be a short one. I don't think I could really write with outside being just so sunny. And me, cooped up in the house, hot, and anxious of my mom to come home so I can finally get the shopping over with.
Yep, still haven't got a dress or anything else for that matter yet. And as the seconds pass by I get nervous. Really unnerving, you see.
But anyways. I've finished up Unable to Speak in a matter of speaking. There's still these little cliches that I'm too lazy to work on. Heck, just making myself copy and paste the code up for like only two pages killed me already. I know, I'm getting too lazy, but you just can't not be lazy knowing that summer's coming, and everything.
So, I'll call that a reasonable excuse for now. Just today morning, I got the urge to work more on BSR. I know I'm not ready yet, to open it, but just knowing that the sense of enjoyment of working on one of my sites is back, gets me happy. I hope it not only comes for BSR, but maybe DS too.
I'm thinking about getting a host/ess for this blog. Not really certain on that on some levels, yet I'll probably stand by it. If my courage passes through, I'll fill in the form for a host/ess for this blog today, and hope for a positive answer sometime by next week, or next, next week. I'm tense about that.
Also, you may see that I've changed the font, again. It looks okay, but I'm gonna change it back to the one before. I think that suits much more nicely. Besides, it won't be so small, that some people might not be able to see it.
Let's see, what else to talk about. Umm, well, I spent almost, or a bit lesser than the whole early morning and late night trying to videotape a show thing. It tapped a lot of strenght out of me. x_X *nods* And I don't want to go through it again, although I know I will. First I couldn't tape it at 9:00, cause my brother gave me a battery that didn't work, and to call him back to help me find another one was fruitless cause he was gone already, outside, in my cousin's backyard. So I couldn't tape it, and had to think about whether to tape it on 11:30, or at like 2:30. If I taped it at 11:30, then I'll miss this funny show on 12:50, which I thought was on Saturday, except it was suppose to be on Monday morning at 12:50 am.
Anyways. I finally decided to tape it on 11:30, and it'll run to like 1:30. Too bad, I could videotape it again, cause at that time about 5 minutes before I thought it started, I was upstairs on the computer, while my brothers were downstairs playing games. When I went downstairs, my brother took a long time to save the game, and it was on the wrong channel, and all these other things. When I got it videotaping, I thought my troubles were over. Sadly, I started taping it on it's commercials and misses like 5, 10 minutes of the beginning. Grr.
So I had to stay awake and videotape it at 2:30. But you know what? The program that ran on 12:30 took like more than two hours, and went into the time that the show was suppose to start. Which means, I fell asleep, and when it was a bit near the end too! -_-' I'm not one happy Yuki. Arrgh. What I had to do then, was to try and stay up before it started, and when the program ended, which was quite hard. I couldn't really remember when it ended, and at which part it did. (Just to tell you, I have satellite, so I have one channel that go on normally, while another channel that shows the programs like three hours later, which is quite handy when I keep on missing out on the chances to videotape the show for like 3 times already.) It was one of the hardest things I had to face. Wanting to sleep, trying to stay awake, falling alseep, and then waking up, hoping to find that I didn't once again miss the chance to tape the show, and gah. I think my eyes died already. xX;;
In the end, I was able to videotape it. At like 6:30. ><'' *sigh*
I watched it like four times already, but you know what, I still love it. Especially the part when Yao Lai waited for Dau Yun, and even though it rained, he still waited for her. *swoon* Oh and when he smiles, it's just absolutely, yeah! Dau Yun is really beautiful, but it seems sometimes good-hearted people who are beautiful just almost always have to have something in the past. In this case, she was deaf, and mute. But it's wonderful how Yao Lai wouldn't care about that. I'm not sure if he was taken by her beauty first, or something else.. Hmm..
Anyhow. Need to go now. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki ate a pear @ 1:40 pm
The end of the school year is coming upon us..
Date: 06/20/03Time: 8:26 pm
Current Mood: Wandering
Current Song: Tell Me Why
The sky looks so pretty right now.. I wonder, when do clouds come out? I tried to search for it today, but I couldn't find any. I think that without clouds in life, you can't exactly be happy. I mean you just look at it, and you could just imagine what kind of things go on top of it, what it would feel like, if you could catch it, and feel it softly disappear within you hands... Or maybe you'd just feel your hand going through it, unable to hold anything.
I'm looking out at the window, and you know what I see? A light blue sky filled with soft clouds, and you could see the bright sun slowly going to rest with all it's colors, and the tall trees just slightly covering it. I could just imagining the sun shy, but when the time comes, it'll shine it's bright light, and bring happiness around...
Anne of Green Gables is really effecting me. I mean, I look at nature in a different way now. Although I can't exactly describe what I see and what I feel when I bear my desolate eyes on the beauty of nature, I know that even if I'm alone in life, I'll still have nature by my side..
Wellies, just had the Virtual Graduation today. Luckily, my legs didn't hurt as much cause we didn't really sit for so long. We did get up for two times to go outside to practice walking in, and I really took that time to stretch my legs. Ohh, I'm so nervous about Monday. Can you believe that I still don't have anything to wear yet? X_X I'll probably go shopping in the weekends, but still.
Also, got the year book today. My pic looks bad. >_< Really, it does. And I can't even bear to look at it, like Moon. I still have to get people to sign it though.. I might be able to on Tuesday, I have to anyways.
What else.. Heh. I didn't go to school yesterday, which was a good thing. There were relays. It was Sports Olympiad Day, and yeah. I stayed home doing nothing really. You know, when you're at school, time flies by more slowly, but meaningful, while at home, it passes too quickly, and with no meaning. I mean, it seems like at home, there really isn't any count to the seconds, minutes, hours that passed by. Yeah..
But at least I did go to see Mrs. L, which was a good thing. She told me who my brother was going to have next year - herself, and at first I was shocked. Afterall, I did kinda run up the stairs, and it killed me, and I couldn't breath. After I did calm down, all I could basically think about on that subject, was how I was gonna tease my brother. Heh. She asked me some questions about how he would react, how my parents would react.. and yeah. The sad thing is, I really don't know how my brother would react. In a way I do actually, but I don't know how he really feels, deep down inside. When I got home, and asked him what he thought about Mrs. L, he said that she was evil. -_-'
Uh, yeah. So, we had a great time talking to her. And we helped her with the report cards. Hmm, I wonder if, yeah.
Kay, wells, today, I choked up. Really, and it killed my heart. When I found out that last Art class was gonna be the last, I was like, "YAY!!!", and then later on when I found out it wasn't, I could seriously feel myself in deep despair, not like I never was, but still. From waiting for the art teacher at the door, until like 20, 25 minutes after, I could feel my heart scrunching up in pain. And I was like breathing in and breathing out trying to look calm and collected, yet not really able to. Seriously, I never want to do that again, it's not healthy for your heart. xX
And you know what killed me even more? I forgot to bring my year book. >< And we practically had a free period in Art! *sad* I could've used the time to get people to write in it, but then I was to frighten to ask her, and my friends were just really good friends. (sarcastic just to tell you) I would've thought that they'd actually help me, but they didn't, did they. Absorb in their stuffs, while I fret about a fear I just can't conquer.
Right now, I'm in a bitter mood, so my remarks might be quite bitter as well. Arrgh. I seriously need to get a much more powerful memory loss medicine thingy. It could help me with trying to forget whatever needs to be forgotten today. I just feel like leaving everything behind, and just leave. I don't know where, I probably won't even care where right now, in my mood. I just want to leave.
Gah. I hate the world, and everything in it. (I'm still angry, just to tell you)
Yuki Kamitoki ranted @ 9:05 pm
Very long but overall enjoyable day
Date: 06/16/03Time: 7:20 pm
Current Mood: Overly exhausted
Current Song: Tai Duo Tai Duo De Bao Qian
Ohh.. my aching body. X_X
Well, as you may know, or not, today was the first day of our trip. And dear god, it hurts a lot, this and the later thing at the park, which I'll explain soon enough. First of all, I left the house at like 9:00 because I slept late to work on UTS (I'm gonna work more on it after this entry). Oh, just to say, you might get a pretty long entry. Continuing on. I got to the school at like 9:10, and I was late. While walking up the stairs, one of the teachers scolded me on it. xX' Anyways. I quickly walked up to the class, and saw Ashley, Moon, and Shadowcat near the door. They asked me about me being late and everything.
Okay, skipping on. We boarded the bus and soon we were at the university. It's pretty small, than I thought. Well the head campus thing. We were soon divided into groups, Group A and Group B. Ashley and I were in Group A while Moon and Shadowcat were in the other group. First, we had fencing. It's a pretty okay sport. Unless you don't like wearing those masks that make you barely able to see anything, and that weird clothing. *shrugs* Ashley kept beating me, but you know what, it's not my fault. She trains almost (probably barely) everyday. She wakes up at 6:30, goes train... and then goes back to sleep again.. -_-' Kay, that's probably not a good reason. But still.
You know, I think I like sports enough, but I just don't feel comfortable enough in people's presence to like it. So really, I think sports are okay. Well, after fencing, we had basketball. Basketball's pretty fun too. And the gym floor there was really shiny. O_O Really! And when you bounce the ball, you could just hear that sound. I like that sound. It's kinda like, yeah. After explaining to us the rules, he (another councillor) let us play around with the ball. Ashley kept on trying to make me take the ball away from her, but I didn't. Teh. Later on, like five minutes or so of randomly playing basketball, he told us to get in a line from shortest to tallest. And you know what the sad thing is? I was the second in line. >< I mean, really! People just love to not be short. There are other people that were shorter than me, like two or three, but they didn't want to be known as the shortest out loud, so they just chose to get in line after me. That is sooo, arrgh!
Well the councillor numbered us and soon divided us by each number into different ends. I was a number 2. And my team was pretty okay. We, or rather this guy called Toby, kept on scoring most of the nets. I did for about two or three times. Then, we were switched to go against Ashley's team. And they kept on winning. Sad. Heh. Ashley tried to block me, and I kept on walking here and there. A bit funny now.
Anyhowies. The game ended like another 5, 10 minutes after, and we (whole group) spent the last minutes playing this game, where the councillor's in the middle, and everytime he passes the ball to you, you have to clap first. If you don't, you're out, if you clap and he didn't pass the ball to you, you're out, if you didn't catch the ball but you clapped, you're out. I was out on the second time. He threw the ball to the side of my face, and I was in a hurry to catch it, that I forgot to clap. Ashley was out just after I was out.
Pretty fun. Soon, we had to go, and we met Moon and Shadowcat close to the Tuck Shop (whatever that is). We talked a bit, and found out that they had soccer and squash. Which we were going to have soon. And did. First off, soccer. The whole soccer field is so big! I mean you can play like two, three games at the same time. And in a way, it was fun too. The first councillor told us to pair off, and we did. But then she separated the pair. One to wear a pinnie, and the other to remain white. I'm sure the people were pretty surprised. I was white, and Ashley was green. I think the councillor allowed me to be white, because of my jacket thing.
Anyways. It turns out that Ashley was goalie (sooo funny), and I was the defence person. I hate to say this, but Ashley kinda dies in being a goalie. I mean, the first time (i think) the ball came to her net, she was able to stop it. She took it, and kicked it, but it went only a little out of the crease. One of my team members took the opportunities and scored the ball. Yay! *cheers* It's our first goal, while Ashley's team has like three. *frowns*
We played, and it was fun, even though it was hot. After that tiring game, we had lunch. Yay!!! I was awfully hungry by then, and couldn't wait to eat, but the councillor stopped us and told us the rules and stuff. I wasn't really kneeling just kinda crouching down in a way, and leaning all my weight on my legs, and let me tell you it seriously hurts. It really did seem like just a little bit away from eternity until she allowed us to stand. But she did, and we did go to the cafeteria, we did get our food, and we did find Moon and Shadowcat. I love the potato things (they call it french fries for some reason) with the gravy! It's delicious. *sigh* I wanna eat more of it..
I'll just go a bit more faster now, there's still more to tell. And my back's already starting to kill me.
Soon, we had field hockey (indoors). Once again, it's a pretty fun sport. It's just the stick I'm not that much happy with. I mean, it's so.. It's kinda like soccer in a way, except that for this, you have to use the stick. And I just love the artificial green grass thing they put in the room thing. It's soft, and you could just lie on it, and sleep, even when you're not that tired. I'm getting off track. We had a bit practice with it, and then we had the game. Again, the councillor told us to pair off. This time though, she put pair by pair into different teams, so I was with Ashley. It was enjoyable, I mean, I did kinda have fun.
Going on. Squash was next on the list. I don't like the googles, even though they protect your eyes, I don't like it. You can barely see anything, and it just kills your concentration. So, after like less than 5 minutes of playing, I took it off. I think I played much more better that way. The ball was so small! It's cute, but it really hurts, when the ball's flying, and your hand hits it. Or any other part of your body for that matter. I should know, I tried it. Not on purpose, just accidently. I never knew a ball that small could have so many force in it. --' But it did. I died on it again. I didn't put much effort to get the ball, even though it came at me, so Ashley had a pretty pathetic partner, again.
So.. swimming.. We didn't go swimming. All of us. We just stayed at a table, and talked. Or more rather, Ashley and Shadowcat dueled, while Moon and I talk... Or maybe it was arguing, trying to prove a point..? It was pretty heated, and loud. I'm wondering if she finally gets my point.
There wasn't exactly much to talk about for the swimming part. I never really did pay attention to their duel, and what we were arguing about can't really be said online. But, I really want tarot cards! We tried to imagine Ashley's other cards as it, but it wasn't much succesful.
Now, finally getting to the end part of the trip. We went back to our locker area, got our stuffs, and soon went downstairs to meet our teachers. (Speaking about that, I wonder where they've been the whole day?) We were basically all on time, and punctual, but we lost four guys. Two or three of them was from our group. Sad, eh? However soon we found them, and the bus started to head toward our school. On the bus, Shadowcat and I kinda got into this disagreement. In our friend's memory booklet, there was this graduation sheet that had all the people who were top of the class, and the graduates. My name was part of the graduates. You see the thing is, I don't want anyone to know my Chinese name. (Moon knows cause she found out from either the year book or someplace, and I'm sure our friend knows from the graduation ceremony when my name was called up). And that's too much already. It's not as if I'm not proud of my name, cause I am. It's just I don't want anyone to know. And from what I know or think of Shadowcat's personality and intelligence, I'm sure she could piece two and two together. So, I asked for the sheet, which she gave me, and killed my name. During the time I was killing my name, she kept on wanting to see it, and I didn't want her to see it. Seriously, not to be mean or anything, but she should respect my wishes as a friend. I will respect her, and give it to her soon, but really. I did, and she looked at it. I mean, if I didn't kill my name, she would've known, unless she's not as intelligent as I give her credit for and can't piece two and two together.
Just to clear up, if Shadowcat's reading this. I really don't mean to be mean, or just go against you. But you should know, I'm dead set on it. I didn't even tell Moon or Ashley and they're my friends for like three years. However Moon knows.. it's cause we're in the same school, and she's bound to know, which is sad. I thought I could still hide that from her! X_X
Saying once again, I really hope you're not mad at me, even though in a way you should..
Continuing on. You know, we met Mr. Y today. It was a funny conversation. Heh. And we got our autobigraphies back. I got a 4, which seems much more refreshing after a 3+ and everything. This is what he wrote:
You have a very deep philosophical way of looking at life. I think your dream of becoming a writer will come true because you are very talented. Just remember we all choose the path we walk in life! Thanks for sharing aspects of your life with me!
Can you tell how happy I am with this comment thing? I mean, I never really thought that it was really a autobiographical sketch, plus what I write, is so complicated, and too deep that it's really not interesting. I find that people nowadays just want the easy way out. They won't stay to find the meaning, they just want something they could read, something that's simple, and complicated but not so complicated that they wouldn't understand everything, even when it's revealed. I can't fulfill that. I just write what I find interesting. I write as if there's no readers, and sometimes I write something that takes me time to figure out, to understand. But not everybody has the patience to understand deep words. Though it sounds cool and everything, they just want the outside, not the inside...
I find that every book is wonderful in it's own aspects. I'm willing to find the wonderful things about it, even though it might be boring. Just depends on what it is. A dictionary, an encyclopedia.. I'm not onto that standards yet. Maybe I will someday later.
Well, Salt was there. And he was covered in paint. Mostly on his hands though. Hehe. However he killed Moon and my hair! I'm not even sure it was clean! >> It serves him right he got a 3+ on his paper! Ha!
Okay, now to the beginning of the park thing. My mom went to Toronto with her brothers yesterday for Father's Day (i'm sure they had a big feast <<). And she didn't come back until sometime today. When I walked out of the school, I was wondering if my dad came at all. But I didn't see his car, so I began to grow wild thoughts. Like maybe he went to the university to find me, and all these others, which seem pretty silly now. I soon saw this white car that looked a lot like my uncle's. Cause I have bad eyes, I couldn't really see who was in the driver's seat. So, I walked a bit faster and closer. Soon, there was this honk, and I thought perhaps it is. You couldn't imagine the utmost relief I had. The face reached my sight in a matter of seconds, and I quickly ran to the car. I then saw my mom's face, and I was happy. I seriously can't imagine what I'd be and do without her. I don't even want to think about when I'm an adult and all that.
My mom teased me about the recent event thing, and asked why there were barely any buses at the school. She thought she went to the wrong school. -_-' I explained, and we were on our way home. On the way, they began to talk about bringing me and my brothers to the park. She was worried that they might have homework, and if they went to the park, they might not be able to do it. I didn't mention, that even if they did, and they couldn't go to the park, they still wouldn't do it. So.. Well, they did, but we still went to the park. We brought a ball and a frisbee, then went on our way to pick up our cousins.
We walked to the park, from our cousins' house, it's long in a way, but then it isn't. Of couse it was long for me though. When we reached the park, Christy (actually a guy), asked me to play frisbee, and I said yes. Too bad I couldn't play well though. I think he got tired of me keep on throwing the frisbee either too far away, or too close to me. -_-' (What a nice cousin..) So, he ended up at the playground structure, while I lolled around on the swing.
I stayed there for a while, until my brother mentioned that he wanted to go on the swings. But the one where I was at, was too high. So he couldn't go on it. At least we played Tag, so he wasn't that depressed. It was a bit dull nevertheless fun in the beginning. Until these other guys came to play, and it was a bit spiced up. The oldest, think his name was Ally, really didn't like to be 'it'. I mean, whenever someone touched him, he'd touch that person back, and it went on and on, until the person that touched him finally gave up, and went on to find another target, despite it being a no touchback game in the beginning. Slowly though, it soon turned opposite.
Well, the game had to die out sooner or later (later). The guys left, and soon we didn't play. We went on the swings instead. Ohh! And while at the park, I saw these awfully cute and adorable toddlers! They were so kawaii!! *shrieks* *sigh* I really want a baby sister. *pouts*
During the swing rides, my brother (first one) died. Somehow, he fell off the swing backwards, and killed his back. Ouch. We had to leave after that.
One more thing, while at our cousins' house, we had this auction kind of thing. Cause Christy was always looking at my brother while we were eating, I told him, and one thing lead to another. There was an auction. I was like:
Me: Who wants this ugly girl, called Kevina?
Christy: *weird, creepy smile* Me! Me!
Me: Okay, starting at a bid of 100..
Christy: *waves his hand*
Me: 1000
Christy: *waves his hand*
*continues on to like a billion*
Me: *hits that table* Sold! Kevina is sold to this old creepy guy!
That was kinda about how it went. Not exactly, but again, I can't remember these things fully.
And.. that's about all I have to say about today. Kay, I think I really killed my back. Did you know this whole entry is like 2, 367 words, not counting this sentence and the later ones, the date, time, current mood, current song, and title? It's really unbelievable. o_O Probably my longest entry yet.
Need to go now. I'm afraid I cant' hold on, bai.
Yuki Kamitoki weakly held her back @ 9:30 pm
I never knew being this would hurt so much...
Date: 06/15/03Time: 08:11 pm
Current Mood: Heartbroken
Current Song: Deep Love
I guess there's no point for me to keep hoping... When did things begin to start hurting? When did I fall so hard that I can't get up now? I just don't want to think anymore...
Yuki Kamitoki silently cried @ 8:14 pm
Never really knew the days were growing shorter..
Date: 06/14/03Time: 01:48 pm
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: §Ú¦a
*sigh* I feel sad. I don't know what I really wanted it to do. I didn't want to let it go, yet I wanted it to find it's freedom. And in the end... I guess it didn't want to be burdened, to be locked up. So, it decided to just die. But maybe, as Shadowcat says, it is free, in spirit. Hopefully, it is like that.
When I really think about it, I think I'm stubborn. Too stubborn to let go of my belief, even when it's not the truth. But then again, who really knows the truth? Doesn't there have to be a lie, to have a truth, and vice versa?
The year's gonna end soon. And once again I'm afraid. I think that the fact that I won't see him anymore finally entered my brain. I mean no more seeing him, no more talking to him, no more just anything of him. In a way it's a good thing, I mean, no more thinking of him on and on, could do better for my health, but still. Even though I want to forget him, I know I can't. Not until maybe I finally realize, I mean really, really realize, that there's no point.
Being cheun chin really hurts. It really does. Though I do know that I'll still be happy for him no matter what. It's just at the cost of my happiness...
Anyways.. on Thursday, I bought some mangas. Chobits volume 2 and 6. It's pretty good. Love it! ^__^ Now, all I need is 4, 7, and 8. Feeling excited. You know.. the way Hideki treats Chi is so.. romantic. I mean, when Kojima talked about Chi as only a machine..
Kojima: Do you have any idea how special your persocom is?
Hideki: Well, uh... kind of...
Kojima: *sigh* What a waste, what a waste. Someone up there must be havbing quite a laugh.
Such a powerful persocom, such a brilliant piece of engineering wasted on you.
Like caviar given to a bunch of pigs.
' Hideki: Will you stop talking about her like she's a machine?!
Persocom this, persocom that-- Chi has a name! Don't lump her in with the rest!!
It'll be much more better if you can just read it, with the pics and all that. Oh, and one more thing. This takes place in a clip that Yumi Oumura (human girl) found, about the devastation that the one she loved (Mr. Ueda) faced.
Reporter: So a car accident has closed the curtain on your marriage to a persocom! How does it feel?
Reporter 2: The driver has said that the persocom pushed you out of the way. Does this mean that you owe your life to a persocom?!
Reporter 3: Do you plan to buy a newer model next time? Are you thinking of marrying another persocom?!
Reporter 4: A lot of people these days... have been holding funerals for their persocoms. Reporter 3: What are you going to do with the remains? Are you going to cremate your persocom... or throw it away?
Mr. Ueda: She's not... an "it."
Reporter: 4: What?
Mr. Ueda: My wife... has a name. Please don't lump her in with the others.
I gave her a name... and she smiled and told me she liked it.
Her name is... Yumi.
Ahh.. Love really hurts. Especially when you love someone that you can't be with.
There's something wrong when something that is so loved and trying to love can't be happy. -- Chitose Hibiya
I love that quote thingy, and I really agree with it. *sigh* What else..
Well Thursday we had a concert. The last concert of the school year. The choir sang two songs, 'I'm A Believer' and 'Hope and Freedom'. Let me tell you, our singing was horrible. >_< It was out of tune, it wasn't chirpy when it was suppose to be, and many other mistakes we did. But at least I like our 'O Canada' song we sang. It's soft and more yeah.
And then it was Friday. That was when we had our Virtual Graduation. The first period, we had our grade 8 photo, whole grade. And then after that, we just stood around, talking, doing nothing really. Ashley's class was in the gym too! So, it was fun. But she still forgot my tape. x_X
I'm gonna end this for now. I feel tired. But I'll finish telling what had happened these days soon. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki yawned @ 2:55 pm
some rants, some thoughts..
Date: 06/10/03Time: 5:51 pm
Current Mood: Full
Current Song: Tokyo Love Story
I'll probably really change everything here. I'll put all the entries onto a separate page, and then just start writing from wherever I left off. But that'll happen sometime in summer.
Today.. was kinda dead, but then it wasn't. I mean apart from killing my hand (there's like a red mark thing there), getting hit by Shadowcat on the shoulder, head, stomach and anywhere else, then getting the autobiography thing stolen by Pucca, blamed by Pucca again for setting off a chain of chairs to fall off the desks, getting scared half to death by Shadowcat, ecetera, ecetera, ecetera.. the day was okay. And there's the buffet tomorrow! *happy now* I can't wait you know. It's been a long time since I last ate in a buffet. Reminds me of the time when my cousins and I did...
Anyways. You're gonna hear me rant about what I observed and such now. It's just weird you know. I keep on seeing him look at her, and I lie about him look at her, when I know it's not true. But it's just for teasing you know. I know she thinks that he doesn't, but it's just so obvious that he does. And I think she's starting to too, but she just doesn't want to, because she thinks that she does, which is true. But really. If you like someone, don't you think no matter what, you shouldn't just try to forget, even if you friend liked him too? I mean, if you just let go, it's pointless, you'll be sad, he'll be sad if he did, and she'll be sad. Everybody will be sad, and regret the actions that they didn't think.
I've been through this millions of times. Said it over and over again, and you know what? Nobody's listening. They're all afraid of the results that they won't take a leap for happiness, and just yeah! Arrgh. I know just not caring about the results is hard, but don't you think the reward in the end, might be what you wished and more?
I know, I for sure am one that care about the results too much. And for that, I lost many things. I don't know if I can change, but I don't want people to follow the path I went down. You just keep on wondering if what you did was right, what would happen if you gave it a chance, would you be much more happy, and the list goes on. You just think too much, and it really damages the brain you know. But, I chose my path, and though I don't want to follow through with it, I have to continue on. I find that even though it hurts me, I at least know that my decision on some levels did some good. Because it really only hurts me, and not anyone else...
But anyhow. Back to my earlier ranting. It's really hard, when you're a friend stuck between two friends, one that unconsciously and the other consciously like a guy. Same guy, different girls. And you know what the trouble is? One says the other does, and the other says the one does. When both does. Then you just see them verbally list off the things that happen between the guy and the friend. When for all you know, it could really mean nothing at all. >_> But still, they're stubborn in what they believe is the truth, which really might not be a truth at all. I mean, who knows who he really likes, unless he truly says it. If he said either one of the friends, one would definitely be sad but happy for the friend, and the other happy, but sad for the friend. However if he says neither, both would be sad, but happy that neither of them had to be sad alone, or happy alone. <_< So confusing.
Well, that's one small part of what I constantly think about for you. There are way more than that, and much more complicated ones too, in fact it's so complicated, that I don't even know what to write. -_-'
Changing the subject.. Today, in Integrated Arts, we watched Grease. It's pretty good you know. I love the first song, Summer Love. I heard it before in those starting songs for the Chinese concerts kinds of things, and I never knew what it was called. But I know now.
It's... I really don't know how Sandy could accept Danny, I mean was she taken by his stubborness to show her that he could be better than that whatchamacallit guy that she was with? And then how he could just let her go, at the dance. Or did he not know she was gone? But he should've at least noticed that he was dancing with someone else. I mean, really.
But anyways. I'm nervous. The dance's coming up soon, and I have nothing to wear. >_< I haven't chosen a dress yet, while it seems like everyone did like 3, 4 weeks before it's even time. But, I'm a last minute person, so I'll probably find myself either going shopping at the last minute, or anxiously tearing my room apart trying to search for something to wear. o___O
What else to write.. I really am indecisive, and I'm easily distracted. But it's not all my fault! I keep on setting my mind to forget and then the chocolate just had to waltz in to kill my concentration and all that. x_X And then just few minutes ago.. I really don't know how I can keep on acting like I don't when I do. I don't even know why I do. I am seriously going crazy over this.
*sigh* I guess I really can't let go afterall. Well for now at least. At this moment I feel like if I did, I'll lose a part of myself, and I really don't know what to do, when that part is lost too...
Yuki Kamitoki whispered softly @ sometime
Changed some stuffs
Date: 06/04/03Time: 7:31 pm
Current Mood: Headache.. x____X
Current Song: The Tide is High
Yep! Finally got off my butt, and made some changes to this site. As you may see (or not), I completely deleted the playlist, and added some new songs. Lovely songs, may I add. Some or more are my favorites, so I'll suggest you guys quickly download them, cause they're wonderful. *nods, nods*
Also, I killed Deep River off of the projects list (heh, forgot about that..), and changed my calender for this month (that was completely overdue). Some of the dates may be wrong, cause I wrote it based on what I remember, and as some of you may remember, I have a bad memory. *shakes fist at those people* But I'll make sure they're correct sooner or later.
There are other little things I changed, but they're not that important to mention really. I'm not gonna write more, don't feel like it, so I'm leaving. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki waved @ 7:37 pm
Why..?
Date: 06/03/03Time: 4:52 pm
Current Mood:
Current Song: Ayeka
You know... In a way, I knew it was going to happen, but it still didn't stop me from hoping it wouldn't. I know I'm selfish, but I don't know. In the end, when it did happen, I felt oddly calm. And I thought, 'Maybe this time, it'll really happen..' I know deep down, it wasn't like that. A piece chipped off. Another one. And fell into the other piles of chipped pieces. I know I said I'll forget, but I can't seem to. I just look around, and I see it. But... maybe it'll be different next year, maybe I'll actually be able to breathe a breath of fresh air. Somehow, I doubt it though...
I felt thoughtful today. And I wondered far away. Trying to see another light. I really didn't go far off as I had hoped. Perhaps, if I did, I could dismiss everything that happened today. It's not like anything really bad happened today. I already realized I was foolish, find out what I clearly should do, so what else could happen that didn't already? When you think deeper about it, life is valuable, but it could easily disappear as hard as it appeared sometimes. But what is the meaning of life? Why was life created? And emotions? And pain? *sigh* Or perhaps, there's really no answers for such wandering questions.
What happened today... I laughed, and thought, without a real meaning to. I saw and thought, while wishing I didn't, and I waited, a fool, and hoped, just wishing that it might happen, in which it didn't. However, it's a good thing it didn't. Because it'll make forgetting ever the more harder.
I just hope, when the time really comes, I can finally, absolutely let go...
Yuki Kamitoki tiredly pondered @ 5:10 pm
worked more on sites, gonna see a movie today, test results
Date: 06/01/03Time: 11:42 am
Current Mood: Accomplished
Current Song: Can You Celebrate
Love this song! I'm trying to find all the songs that was in my computer, before it was restarted and everything. This is one of the songs, from the album my dad's friend installed, and it's wonderful! ^__^ There's still more songs to find though.. *frowns*
Anywayies, I worked more on Unable to Speak. I'm thinking that this site will be up sometime next week. There's just a few more pages to work on, then voila! A new site! Hmm, methinks I should update more on Deep River.
I might put Love for Eternity on hiatus. Good idea? I really don't know what to do with it. So, yeah. It might be put on hiatus today. Or tomorrow. And it might be up till somewhere in the summer, or the new school year, but *shrugs* who knows?
As well, I'm thinking about killing this blog. Killing as in killing all the entries, then start over again. It'll cut off the past, and some of the depression that I'm going through. But again, in planning stage.
Now, since all website business is said and done, I'm gonna talk about yesterday. It was Culteral Day, and really, telling the truth, it was boring. There's really no point in being there. All we had to do was recite a poem, and then, that was it. For the first part of school, we really didn't do anything, except sit around and talk. A bit before recess, we practiced a bit with the other class. Then there was recess, and 15-20 minutes later, the grade six and eights performed what they had. *sigh* If I didn't have to go, I wouldn't, but I had to. I had to return a memory booklet (which I still wasn't finished writing in, even though I had a bit less than a week), and bring the 8:30 tape for Moon. Which, reminds me, I have to go downstairs and check for it. I gave her the wrong tape. >______<
As well, I got my test back yesterday. 96.5%. It's a pretty okay mark, not that much though, in my standards for Chinese. I expected something better. There were two things in it, that I really didn't have to lose points on, but did. -________- I'm aggravated.
Today, we're gonna watch a movie. I think it's called Finding Neemo. It's about fishes. *nudges Moon* Yep. Hafta be at Shadowcat's house in about 40 minutes. Still lots of time though. Hmm, talking about movies. I finished watching Pokemon 4ever today. It's pretty good. I love the Celebi song thing though. And the part when all the Celebi's from the past, and future came.. it's wonderful! The music, *sigh* love it... You know, in the beginning of the movie, it's pretty scary, I mean if you don't put in in cartoon, but in real life, with like real people acting it out, it would really be frightening. In cartoon, it's a bit less scary. Well I videotaped it, and I'm gonna bring it later on today, for Shadowcat to watch it. Really! I should of put a deal or soemthing on it. I didn't though. x_______X
I'm gonna forget. Somehow, I will. I mean, there's no point (as Moon liked to often remind me), I just keep waiting and hoping, and I'm wasting my life away. I know nothing will happen in the end. And the worst thing, is that I know I'll still wait in the end, even though i finally saw how foolish I've been. So, there'll be a small part of me waiting, and a bit part of me forgetting. Just don't know what'll really happen in the end though...
You know, it's really sad that people think that by getting themselves drunk, they could forget what happened in reality, for a while. You'll never forget. Even if you have amnesia, there will always be a part of you that still remembers. If you keep on moving away from the truth, you'll end up with nothing in the end. You'll be living a lie, and it'll be a burden.
Yesterday, my mom and uncle came home. I was kinda sleeping, until my mom mentioned that she had brought some tofu, and I quickly walked to the table to get some (i love tofu!). Anyway, sometime later on, my uncle decided to talk to me. And we talked a bit. And he asked if I was happy or not, because he thinks that I'm not. (I think he's the only one who noticed that, >_<) And then, again, later on, he just suddenly told me out of the blue, that nobody liked him. I just sat there and watched him. Not really sure of what was going on, but interested. He looked sad, sitting there, staring at me. I wanted to say something that could make him feel better. Maybe a 'I like you', or a 'Mommy likes you', or anything at all. But I settled for a 'Why?' He shrugged, and then looked down at his rice, poking it. I really didn't know what to say, or what to do. My mom came over then, and asked me, 'Why don't you teel him that if you don't drink beer, people would like you?' I shrugged, not knowing what to say. I really hate those situations when someone spill a part of their heart out to you. I mean, I'm happy, that that someone thinks me of someone important to tell what their heart held burdened. But then, it's really hard. You really don't know what to say sometimes, to make that person feel better, and you don't know if your words make sense, or really anything at all.
Truth is, there must be something that led him to drinking. I mean, maybe if people around him didn't put too much pressure on him, he wouldn't have to drink as much. And then life would be much better. But I'm looking at it from too much of a simple view. Nothing's ever simple, and nothing's ever complicated. It all depends on how you look at it. I soon left the table, and lied on the couch. I heard my mom and uncle talking, and I thought, there's so much I wanted to tell him. But I don't have that kind of courage. I heard him talking about wanting to change Toronto or something. And then my mom said that he couldn't even fix his life, how could he fix anything about Toronto. At that moment, I was really angry at my mom. I mean, yes it's true, he should fix his life and stuff, but he's allowed to dream. And his dream was of a pure heart.
There's so much things we want to change about this world, but do we have the courage and the hope to do it? I don't know about life right now. But I really want to do something that could help this world. I mean, there's so many things I want to do, to change, but I can't do it. I don't know if I have the patience and heart to do it, but I do wish.
Well, anyway. This thing about my uncle, it led me to a new point in view. I think I might be able to write something meaningful, in the test, that the history teacher assigned us. But, need to go now. It's almost time, and my dad didn't arrive yet. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki wisely thought @ 12:26 pm
been a while.. really don't want to think about it anymore...
Date: 05/24/03Time: 8:06 pm
Current Mood: tired
Current Song: Fang Bu Di
I just... I really don't know why. I want to let go, but I can't. I want to escape, to ignore, to just turn around, and let things go as they once were, but I can't. No matter what, I can't just forget. And, sometimes, it really hurts. I ask myself, why? Why can't I let go, and I don't know why. Is it because I still can't face the truth? Or is it because I'm a fool, wanting something that I know I'll never get. But then I've never really tried to reach it. I never fought for it, so there's really nothing to be a fool about.
So, I wonder why I'm sad. Why things never could stay happy long. Happiness is short-lived, I learn that. Sadness would reign over, because there's more in life to be sad about, more to grieve over, than to be happy. Maybe it's not that way to other people, but to me, life has just been a burden this year.
*sigh* Guess, I'm done grieving for now.. Hmm, you know, I never knew I could present my sadness in so many different words, yet with the same meaning.. Sad..
Well, life goes on. Let's review what I've been up to these days. Never knew the year passed by so fast. School ends in like a month, and then there's the graduation stuffs. Pretty exciting, but then not really.
And there was the chinese exam today. It's pretty easy, I mean the words were there, you just had to choose which one, and yeah. The only problem was the picture. You had to write a short story thing on what you think happened in the picture. I think I completely messed that part up. x_X I'll probably lose more than 10 points on that.
What else... *ponders* Well, the week passed by fast enough. We had a small presentation thing at the last three periods yesterday. We performed two songs, What a Wonderful World, and I'm a Believer to the grade sixes. I don't think they liked it much. >_< They just sat there and stared.. o__O Then it was the drama club's turn to present. There was some humor, and yeah.
Okay! Skip on. Back to the topic I always talk about now. I seriously think that Moon and Gigi are the best together. There's always these little things that prove it. I mean, yesterday, when Moon was gonna talk to Teddy about the history test mark, she bumped into Gigi, and he protested. But then saw that Moon wasn't really paying attention to him, and it's sad. I can't really explain it exactly, it's hard, but if you'd just seen it. I really don't understand people. I mean, they want something, the chances come their way, and they won't even lift a finger out to reach it. Some people wait for eternity for a chance, but it never once went their way. Is it human nature to move away from pain? To just let go of everything because they fear pain?
If it is so, then what's the point in living? Every little thing we do could cause pain, but if we move away from things that we think would cause pain, what would life be like? Life is a risk and everyday we take risks, for the better of things or even the worst. Some people know that only pain will await them in the end, yet still, they do it. Why? Because they want to know the truth, and no matter how much the truth hurts, at least in the end you'll be able to really let go if it comes to that. But if it doesn't and you're not willing to take that risk, you'll regret it your whole life, because you didn't dare, didn't dare to find your happiness, or what you want...
Well, need to go now. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki wished @ 9:06 pm
didn't go to school, still sick, .hack//SIGN is sugoi!!...
Date: 05/12/03Time: 2:54 pm
Current Mood: sick
Current Song: Useless Chatting
*sigh, coughs, blows nose* bleh.. still sick.. and it hurts.. yeh.. Missed school today, which is a good thing. I mean I get to miss Art, LA presentation and anything else. I'm really walking on thin line with this. Missing school for sick reasons, although in a way it's a lie. First time, was with the dance. Wasn't really sick sctually. Just didn't want to waste my life away there, then now. I really am sick, but not as much sick as I was exactly before. Still have the coughs, the nose is killing me, leg's better, headache almost gone, and yeah.
Finished watching .hack//SIGN today. It's really good. I mean, yeah. I didn't really get it as much, considering I started watching it from the second volume but I think I have a faint idea. I really like Subaru's character. She's calm, and peaceful, and there's just this sereneness around her. I like her voice too. Lovely and beautiful. It's in a way like walking on water...
I really think that she and Tsukasa are a good couple. At first I thought he would be with Mimiru, cause you know, it's just like those usual scenes you'll find. But then when he asked to see her and Silver Knight wouldn't let him.. you should see his eyes. They were sparkling with sadness, with despair... And then there was the scene at the lake. There was a connection. There eyes were connected, their souls, and it's so sad when it disappeared.
*sigh* I think I'm falling in love with that anime..
Well, since Deep River is up, I think I'm gonna focus on the graphic site. Get it up and over with then the personal writing site, and whatever else.
.. You know, I wonder how Shadowcat and Teddy interacted today at Art. It's a sad thing I wasn't there to see if he gaver her the rose, but then I'm still glad. Happy for you Cat!
What else.. hmm.. think that's all. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki coughed @ 3:18 pm
Neck's dead.. interesting things in LA.. blah, blah, blah..
Date: 05/08/03Time: 6:09 pm
Current Mood: Dead
Current Song: ·ºå»P·
You know, I find the week passed by so fast. And sometimes, actually, this week was pretty fun. I mean, I had the laughs, I had the sadness, but it's okay. There always has to be some ups and downs in life. I don't know if it's because of them.. it just gave me more openess. And as selfish as it sounds, I hope this week would have more repeats. But, don't think that'll happen..
Well this time, I had less sleep than usual. Only about 2. >__< I'm seriously driving myself nuts with this. I mean, I stayed up for the whole (kay, almost whole, i slept from 2 to 4, and stayed up the rest) morning to finish the LA project, only to find that it's due on Monday! Monday! That's like three, four more days! Arrgh! *pulls hair* But you know, that's okay, in a way. Even if it kills me. Moon does even more. She finished the LA project over the weekends, and everything else! It's cause of not wanting work on the week of her birthday, I guess.
Talking about the birthday thing. You can't imagine how many times she told Gigi, and people about what was special on May 9! I don't think I can do that, probably even more withdrawn than her. And the teacher.. *sigh* it's really sad. We had a kinda reputation as the quietest people, I mean, even friends that knew us for like 3 years thought that (found out in this chain letter thing), and now... the reputations is in rambles. Gah. When the people left to the computer lab for information on the project, me, Moon, and Shadowcat stayed behind, along with like three, four people (Gigi, Pucca, someone, someone..). The class was so quiet! Well, the main word was, was. Then, entered us, laughing, and talking, and being loud. And the teacher said something along these lines:
".. And they were so quiet..."
Okay, maybe not exactly like that, so what, I have a bad memory. And then yeah. But I have to say, that period was really enjoyable. Moon went hyper and talked more to Gigi, Pucca, and whoever. Really funny. *sigh* It's so sad, I couldn't have it on tape. I would've been soo happy.
Then there was today. Two periods of it. Total madness in a way. But I'm not gonna talk about that. I'll talk about it sometime in the future. I'm too tired right now. Just finished DR's layout, and then I still have more to do. LFE, DS, etc. Then there's all the homework I'm putting at the last minute, and the stories! x__X I think I'm gonna die, before I even see Shadowcat marry.. Sad, sad.
Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki groaned @ 6:26 pm
New stuff bought
Date: 05/07/03Time: 10:45 pm
Current Mood: Sarcastic
Current Song: Irresistable
*sigh* I'm supposedly happy, but then I'm not. I mean, I just look upon what happen today, and I just get a headache thinking about it. I feel alone. I mean, Shadowcat's going one way with her lavas, and then with the leaving school thing, Moon's going another way with, I don't know who.. Gigi, Teddy, I don't know... Ashley-chan.. it's like our friendship thing is moving at a further distance, despite everything, or maybe I'm finding another side of her that I never really knew. This year.. I really don't like it. There's nothing really special about it. Despite the graduation, and everything else. It's really not special. I think I faced more sadness, loneliness, pain, despair within this year, then any other.
And then, I look upon childhood, and I can't believe that, that many years passed by already. From being a baby to now. From happiness, to this. I'm scared. I don't want to see any more changes, but they're already taking place. Shadowcat's going to leave soon, Auntie's growing up, etc. *sigh* I feel old, despite my age...
You know, one day, I'll be able to leave off my burden and fly. I don't know when though, but I do hope.
Well, anyhow. Went shopping today for Moon's B-Day present. I bought it, but I don't think she'll like it much. *shrugs* I don't know. I also bought the 5th volume of Chobits (I love it to death!! ^__^), and .hack/sign volume 2 DVD. Haven't watched it though. Can't wait! Also, my mom said next time, I'll be able to buy the 'How to Draw Manga' books. Have to have my dad's permission thing though. Can't wait!
What else? Don't know. Gonna go now though. Still have to finish the mythological project. Oh! And there's going to be another layout coming soon. I'm going to kill all the layouts for my sites, and make new ones. Yeah, and that's all. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki signed off @ 10:57 pm
I got accepted! And other depressments.. shopping..
Date: 05/05/03Time: 10:51 pm
Current Mood: Absolutely happy
Current Song: Tokyo Nights
As I mentioned in the title thing, I got accepted! ^___^ Yay! Wahoo! (and any other yells of joy)
Seriously. I'm so happy, words can't be described.. yet. *added as an afterthought* You know, I had a kinda rough afternoon today. Everything just seemed to be not on my side. Started with T.A.G., actually Science started it, then it got worse in T.A.G. and then Math. But then maybe it's like this because I'm not looking at it from another point of view that most people would look at it from. I mean it can't compare to what other people in this world might of gone through. It can't relate to what people in the past had to follow through (and if you're asking, yes, I'm still angry with everything about what the immigrants had to face, but then, not only that) It's just totally not fair, and I want to do something to change what still goes on today.
I mean take for example people who like another person of the same gender. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. They're still humans, still people with feelings, yet some people just have to go and be a racist. It doesn't have to be by speeches or whatever that people do, to outright show of their distaste for people like that. A simple 'eww..' could do the job too.
I don't know how many times i have to complain about the unfairness of what people that like people of the same gender have to face. And I'm not trying to change the world (don't think I can do it anyway.. >_<), I just, I don't know what I want. x_X Bleh. All that typing for nothing.
But anyhow. It's so sweet, you know. How Moon kept trying her hardest to give me inspiration by talking to people that would appear in the story, but most often Teddy, and Gigi (hmm..). I really don't know if I'll be able to finish 5 chaps by Friday. I mean, the prologue's not even done yet, and it's Monday! And to top it off, there's like 4, 5 more tests waiting for us this week. The History test (tomorrow), the Math test (Wednesday), the Health test (Thursday), the Science and Spelling test (Friday), and I don't know what else. I feel burdened.. X__X
*sigh* Good news, is that Auntie's coming! *waves flag with Auntie's face on it* Really, I hope this time he really is coming. I mean, he couldn't come on Easter's holidays, March break, etc. And I can't wait until summer to see him. It's like *counts day of on a random calender* uh, around 2 months or more! I'm patient, but I'm impatient! Gah. I heard that he could stand, and starting to walk. He also can talk! T__T I'm missing so many finer points in his life! It's not fair! *whines*
Arrgh. Well, went shopping today. Left the house at around 5 something. During the car ride, I slept through it. I didn't get much sleep. Seriously. Like only three and a half, and that's seriously not a good amount of hours for me. I slept in the car until like 6. (parents worked inside, while i slept in the car outside) Then after I was woken up by my dad, I just lounged around for a good 30 minutes, then at like 6:30 we went shopping. (so late..) Shopped for like 3 hours. Bought a pair of pants, and this sweater thing (even though summer's like coming up), and then some hair accessories, popcorn, ice-cream, these danish buns things, and I don't know what else. We also had pizza for dinner! And I'm gonna end this now. Even though I still have more to tell. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki died X_X @ 11:14 pm
Seriously, my comp really does hate me
Date: 05/02/03Time: 5:22 pm
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: Stolen Love
Gah.. Don't feel well today.. Must of ate something bad, or I don't know. Well. Not that much depressments today. It relatively went okay, except for Integrated Arts. Or maybe it did, but I'm looking at it in a different light..
Moon and I presented our little sad, sad skit today. It was okay, I guess. Just seemed a bit too much serious for people. I mean, yeah. And not to mention that I can seriously not act.. X_X It started as we practiced for some days. Moon's in the graveyard or something, putting down flowers on our supposed father's grave. I come in, we same some things, and then we leave. I'm suppose to look back, like I saw someone, and I did, kinda. Actually it wasn't that noticeable, and then we leave the scene. The next scene.. well we're talking. I was suppose to ask her about love at first sight and if she'd do anything for me to be happy. I skipped that part though. -____-' I forgot my lines in the heat of the moment. Instead, I went all the way to the question about death. I asked, and then she suddenly started to laugh! o_O I don't think the people really knew that she was laughing at first, I mean she was covering it with a tissue, then bowing her head down. They probably thought she was crying. Well, until she said that she wanted to start the thing over again. People started to laugh, we laugh, and after that laugh, the play went on. It's really dead. I mean, I hesitated, and it's confusing and twisted, and I don't know what else to describe it. I think, it's fortunate that he's not exactly marking us of it. Even though we spent time preparing for this..
And then after us, it was Geography Guy's (don't ask about the weird name) turn. Their play was hilarious! GG (Geo Guy) and this other guy were cops. They were sent to investigate this crime thing. So that guy went in to ask the victim, which was GG, as a girl, crying. It really seemed like he was laughing, even though he's crying. GG kept switching roles at one point or another, and it was funny. Can't really describe it, so you'll have to do with my poor describing skills.
*stares at so far writtened entry* Wow. There must be lots of blogging energy or something in me right now.. But anyhow. As you know, Shadowcat's B-Day was on Monday! And I forgot to wish her a happy birthday here, that and practically everyone's B-Day that I have on my calender.. *checks calender* Fine, all of them, well except for mine.. Sad, sad.. So, I'm gonna take the time to wish them a belated B-Day.
ME!!, ASHLEY-CHAN, SNOOPY, KAOMI, RAY RAY, AUNTIE!!!, SHADOWCAT!!!
YAY!!! ^__^ Okay. Back to business. Have to write down what happened between Shadowcat and Teddy, so that I can remember it forever! ^_~
Now, on a certain Day 2, of Tuesday, April 28, 2003, at lunchtime, a certain cat spoke of wanting to hug a certain bear. This is how it supposedly went:
Shadowcat: I wanna hug sensei!
Moon and Yuki Kamitoki: ... (uhh, we did say something but I forgot..)
*some time later..*
Shadowcat: I wanna hug Teddy!! *hearts in eyes*
Yuki Kamitoki: *gasp, and points at Shadowcat* You want to hug Teddy?!
Shadowcat: *realizes that she said the thing from her heart out loud and quickly tries to correct her mistake* NO! I mean sensei! I want to hug sensei!
Yuki Kamitoki: *laughs a lot, till her stomach died..*
Moon: *uh.. laughed too (forgot what she did..)*
*few minutes later, aften teasing her non-stop about Teddy, and lunch was almost over..*
Geography Guy: *comes to throw his garbage away. Shadowcat stops him, and asked him if he heard anything (he was behind her)* I just heart something about six sei (suppose to mean eat poo, but their pronunciation is dead) What? Am I suppose to hear something?
Shadowcat: Uh, nothing really.
*he leaves, she leaves, we leave*
And well, that's as I said how it supposedly went. I could be wrong though, but.. *shrugs* And then there's another thing between her and Teddy today at Art. Here's how it went:
Teddy: Shadowcat, turn the paper over. (talking about the art thing, he wanted to see what she drew)
Shadowcat: *shakes her head, then reminded about what she wanted to ask him for so long.. decides against it, asked him something else* Hey, Teddy! (Yuki: Aww.. such enthusiasm) Do you have a picture of a rose?
Teddy: A rose? Of course, at home. I have 42 of them. (Yuki: Hmm, that leading to a question, is he feminine or is it cause of his mother or/and sister?) Do you want one?
Shadowcat: Of course! (in that kind of tone)
Yuki Kamitoki: *sits and laughs* ...
Teddy: *sees Yuki Kamitoki laughing, and says* She's laughing at you Shadowcat.
*uhh, forgot what exactly happened next*
But that's pretty good description of what happened, if I do say so myself. Later on, just before the period ended, she reminded him about the picture of the rose.
Well. That took up a lot of my memory power, but I'll say it was worth it on some level. GTG. My back really hurts. But I might come back and write again. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki create @ 6:04 pm
Absolutely hate stealers
Date: 04/27/03Time: 11:17 pm
Current Mood: Hateful
Current Song: Endless Love
Seriously! I do. I just think about someone copying something of mine, or close to mine, and I just get this rage building inside me. I really don't like to be that selfish, but there is a borderline between taking and stealing. You know, if I do like someone, and that person was stolen away by someone else, I really wonder how I'd feel. Would I be wallowing in my pity, or would I go in revenge mode, or would I just stay put angry, sad, but lacking the courage to question. Hmm..
I went shopping today! ^__^ It's wonderful to go shopping, and I just love buying things. But we didn't go to too many stores. I went with my dad, and my brothers, so you could see that restricting line. I got new jeans, and these absolutely fantastic hair accessories. Oh, and while inside. There was this girl getting her ear pierced. She kept on yelling and such when the drill was going into the ear. Kinda reminds me of me when I had my ear pierced. Except I don't think I did yell. Probably half or more of the reason was cause I was scared. -__________-' I got it pierced twice. Once was at this place downtown in Toronto. But then later on, the hole turned into no hole, so I got it pierced again. This time in Pacific Mall. That mall is amazing! There's like almost everything there! Ohh, I just float when i think of shopping there again.
Anyhow. We also got fries at the Mall, and some hot dog. I'm telling you. New York Fries' gravy is the best! It's just wonderful! (no words to describe it..)
Aften that, I went to the library. Can you believe that I was second there? I wasn't last! I was only like two three minutes late, and that seems quite impressive to me, since we left the mall at like 1:23 or something.
We talked and tried to work. Blah. And skipping on. We later went to Moon's house. We saw pictures of her when she was young, and let me tell you again, babies are absolutely adorable! You could just cuddle them forever! *hugs panda thinking of it as Auntie* ... *sigh* I really miss him.. And yeah. I left at around 7, went home, opened the comp, click on the icon for internet, signed on, and wandered aimlessly around. Another boring day.. >_____<
I really wanna finish the layout for the fanfiction log! I get these short bursts of inspiration for the revised copy of A Dream's Desire, and I wanna put it in the log! But sadly, no inspiration for layouts.. *sad*
GTG. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki yawned @ 11:49 pm
Should I kill this blog?... and Easter holidays' events
Date: 04/23/03Time: 7:55 pm
Current Mood: Bittersweet
Current Song: My Pride
I read this blog. I wrote the entries. And when I look through it, I found a small portion of happiness, and sadness. I saw my life pass through in short, long, wistful entries. And I wonder. Is this really me, the person that loathes depressment yet go through it so often to count? A girl that seems to find everyday another disappointment, another despair, but unable to conquer it. Or maybe, this isn't what you see me as. Perhaps you see me as a whiny girl, that has nothing better to do than rant about her pathetic life, and as much as it hurts, it's true.
The main problem, is I don't know who I am. I just keep on searching, hoping, and unable to find my real self. I now find life just a souless black thing. Despite the colors in it, the wonderful things that could be gone any second, the laughs, the fun, I find it's not really true. It's all fake, all lies. Because my heart's not in it...
I don't know how many proclaimations I have to make, about getting in, getting out of depressment. *scoffs* I was in in the whole time. There's nothing really worth hoping for. But at least I still have my semi non-existent sites.. *huggles sites* They're one of the things I have left to put my all in. People.. they just aren't always there. Perchance they never really were...
Well, tomorrow's Day 5, which means Art. I absolutely hate it. That's all I can say. Just like I hate.. But anyway. My Easter holidays passed by pretty okay. My cousins came over from Toronto and we had fun. But they kept on hogging the computer. X_____X So I couldn't really do much. They came on Thursday, almost Friday morning and we stayed up till like 4 something. My other cousins came too. And then later on they woke up earlier than me. Like at 9:30 or something. Seriously! Don't they need sleep at all? I figure I slept later because of always sleeping late at night, and sometimes too earlier in the morning. So, I do have an excuse!
And then on Friday, my aunt asked us if we'd like to go to a movie. She also called my two other cousins, thinking that all of us would go to the movies. But the movie we chose was All A Girl Wants. So the guys didn't go, except for my little brother, which I'm still pondering over why. The movie was absolutely interesting. It's kinda like the fairytale, Cinderella. Except it's more modern of course. I would advise you too see it sometime. You'd like it, unless you don't like those romance/amusing/interesting movies. But that's my opinion.
When we got back home, we played soccer. And they kept on kill my foot. Personally I think being a goalie is better. You get to sit on the chair (we used the chair as the goal post.. -____-'), and the hole's so small, the ball wouldn't really be able to get in if you just place you legs in front of it.
Let's see what happened after that.. Well, I faintly remembered people drinking all the drinks in the house. And till now, there's still not much! >_____< *sigh* Can't remember what happened later on, so I'll just end this entry. I still have more homework to work on, and the 8:30 show's on! Bai bai.
Yuki Kamitoki wrote @ 8:47 pm
Happy Easter
Date: 04/20/03Time: 10:09 pm
Current Mood:
Current Song: None
Well things have been particulary hectic these few days because of my cousins' arrival. Nevertheless it was enjoyable, despite all the times I got brutally murdered. -____________-'
But anyhow. I feel depressed again. I don't know why, but it's not letting me go, and I don't know what to do. Life is just so busy, and boring, and sometimes lazy, and all the others things that make up life, that I feel like just fainting right now, and then think about it all sometime later in the future. Although, I can't, can I..?
This is probably gonna be my official depressed blog, filled with all my complaints about how life isn't going well for me, even though I sleep well enough, eat four meals a day on week days, have wonderful friends that I can tease about, have annoyingly adorable nieces/nephews/cousins (uh, second thought, maybe not exactly cousins), and ecetera, ecetera, ecetera.
But I don't think that's enough, because I really don't know who I am. And if I don't know who I am, who can I become? (Hmm.. sounds familiar. Did I write it in here before?) I just have this empty feeling in me, that I don't know what to fill it with.
It doesn't help that I found out that what I willingly gave out, was never ever needed in the first place. It hurts, it really does, because it makes me feel like I was foolish, maybe I still am, and where I think about it I want to cry. I can't though. Sometimes, on fortunate days I could, and it's better that way. I could release the tears, and I wouldn't have to feel the pension of needing, wanting, but unable to.
I really don't know who I am.. I really want to know who I am.. I really don't know how to know who I am.. I really don't know who I am...
Yuki Kamitoki reflected @ 11:06 pm
Bleh, blah, same thing..
Date: 04/13/03Time: 11:01 am
Current Mood: Dead
Current Song: None
I decided that I'm just gonna put some of my quiz results here for the many times I didn't. More will be added soon.
Squall
Who is your Final Fantasy match?
brought to you by Quizilla
You sometimes seem annoying to others. You are a very responsible person and you will work until you fufill your duty.
take this quiz!
Dead
Date: 04/13/03Time: 12:14 am
Current Mood: Lonely
Current Song: None
Goddess of the Moon. Beauty, yet a sadness lurks
about you at times. But hey, pain is beauty,
right?
What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a Mentalist. Your magic depends on strength
of will. You could be a memory-reading Mind-
Mage, a lethally telekentic Force-Wizard, or a
helpful Transmage for your abilities are a
result of sheer stubborn will and intensely
keen intellect. Your mind has been honed by
learning and practice into the perfect tool for
examining and dissecting reality and altering
it to suit your needs. You are intelligent and
scholarly with a tendency to distance yourself
from others.
Which Magical Order Are You In?
brought to you by Quizilla
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.
What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a siren.
What legend are you?. Take the Legendary Being Quiz by Paradox
Hikki! You're Hikaru Utada.You speak English very
well,because you were born in New York,and
you're just as good at Japanese.You're
energetic and intelligent and very sweet.Sugoi!
Are you Hikki (Hikaru Utada) or Ayu (Ayumi Hamasaki)?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Sarcastic.You can be sweet,but you prefer
not to let everyone else know that.You'd rather
be controversial and smart.
How Sweet are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're the smirk,a frown-smile hybrid that's a
little bit cocky and usually associated with
evil or arrogant,but attractive people.You
probably just don't give a damn,but it's
everyone else's fault if you don't because
you're too awesome to have any real faults.
What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're depressed. Really you are. And you
definitely have a reason. You often space out
and stare at things blankly, even if you're
normally hyper and energetic. This is because
nothing really seems important anymore. You
might just be sad right now, or you might be
manic depressive. Don't worry. Have some cocoa
and stuff'll be ok.
How Depressed are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Strawberry Pocky! You're energetic and you probably
bounce around a lot. You're also a bit naive,
and you probably fall in love easily.
What Kind of Pocky are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
You're Tenjou Utena! And you probably cheated to
get this result, because i made most of the
choices unflattering. Either that, or you're
way to idealistic. Sure, Utena's cool, she
fights well, and she gets to use the sword of
Dios. But she also tends to poke her nose in
other people's business, or be totally
clueless.
What Utena Character Are You Most Like?
brought to you by Quizilla
-3rd Sphere- Wow, you must love to be miserrable.
Rushwood wasn't so great to begin with, but now
it's totally infertile and has a low (if not
nonexistant) population thanks to DS (again
-.-) and his poisoned water. During a fight
with Martyr, the little bugger managed to take
out the whole of this sphere and make the
Chavala's almost exstinct. Pleasant, isn't he?
-.-
Which Of The Nine Spheres Would You Live In?
brought to you by Quizilla
Your magical style is Psychic.
What type of Magic do you work?. Take the Magical Style Quiz by Paradox
You're Ren?Descartes.
Which Rene(e) are you?. Take the Rene(e) Quiz by Paradox
Yuki Kamitoki gazed @ 12:47 am
Seriously sad
Date: 04/11/03Time: 7:42 pm
Current Mood: Tearful
Current Song: It's My Life
I just sit and wonder, why. Why do people have to be idiots. Why they can't see what's in front of them. Why couldn't they accept the person that cares most about them. I just find it unreasonably stupid.
She cares a lot about him, she loves him, she'd do anything for him, even risk her whole life for him. But, what did she get in the end? Betrayal? Hate? The never-ending pain? She lost her face to her sister, she lost her baby to her sister, she's going to lose her place, and her love to her sister. And all, because she cared too much.
Love could be so ugly sometimes. It could easily tear you apart, and leave you with nothing at all. I feel empty. I see another side of life. I never knew jealously could turn you into a monster. But it could, and it's frightening. I don't know what is really the truth anymore. Could a face actually make you fall to your knees? Make you forget the only person that ever really loved you? ... Yes, perhaps it could really. That's what fate loved to do. Just twist your life around, until you couldn't find the difference between good and evil...
*silence*
I want to forget.. But anyhow. I went shopping today after school. Bought some chocolate coissons (sp??) (absolutely yummy), easter chocolates (HEHEHE), yogurt, chicken wings, bread, drinks, and... *drum rolls* the Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets DVD!!! Yay!! ^__^ I'm not going to see it right off. On the cover it said something about Supplementry Edition or something. And the clerk there said it was defected. (I think he was lying to me) And I just stood there gaping, while my mom laughed her head off. -___-' Bad mom! When I went back to the car, I finally thought of a comeback. It twas too late though, sad. >_<
Ohh! And while we beg her mom to buy this kind of instand noodles that you could break off and eat right away, this guy came by saw us begging, and told my mom that she was lucky that she didn't have a dozen. My mom turned completely red. -___________________-' And she kept on laughing for like a full five minutes. *wonder* Could she actually do that? Hmmm..
I'm glad to know that the small things in life could still make me happy.
So, anyhowie. I kept on dreading art. >___< I seriously don't like the art teacher. She's so completely mean! But I guess I was a bit at fault too. *sigh* Moon kept on making me laugh, and other things. x_X I guess the teacher got fed up with us, and separated us. She moved Moon somewhere across the room. I'd rather like to switch with her though. It's soo boring at my seat. We had to draw 8 flowers, 3 amoebas, and 3 leaves. I missed a leaf, and a flower though. X_X I think next cycle I won't be able to participate in the pastel thing. Ohh, and there were this particular leaf/flower thing that I was drawing. I loved it. It's probably my only successful drawing. -___-'
Wellies, what else to say? We had an assembly today. Missed Science and Integrated Arts. The principal was going on about rules and stuff. It killed my legs cause I had to sit there for like 80 minutes. I think I rather to work then be there. Then we missed 5 minutes of our lunch period cause we had to watch the volleyball teams go against the teachers. The teachers won though. And then off to lunch. It wasn't that eventful though. My milk died on me, and while going to the washroom to get some paper towels that apparently can't be found in the classroom, some milk dripped onto the floor. Leaving me up to clean it, and to miss eating my pear.
I am seriously glad the weekends are coming up. I don't think I can survive another day. -_____-'
Soies, I think I babbled on enough for one sad day. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki babbled on @ 8:13 pm
Up to beat with the world
Date: 04/09/03Time: 4:39 pm
Current Mood: Excited
Current Song: Listen to my Heart
Hmm, there's something wrong with this song... Uh, anyhowie. It's not finally but a temporary time where I'm out of my long lasting depression and up to beat with the world. I know I seriously whine too much about my ongoing depression, but it's something that bugs me a lot. Time and time again I keep on wondering why. Why there has to be sadness and happiness together. Why loneliness hurts too much, and why life had to be difficult for me. Those aren't only the questions though. I have so many inside my head, I feel like I'm going crazy. The point is that, I don't want to be like that. Caught between the questions that I ask so often. I want to be free; to fly to my desired destination. And with some time I figured out that it was impossible because I was just sitting there, waiting for freedom to come to me. It's not something that can be found by doing nothing, and even if it was, it's really nothing in the end, because you didn't work for it. You didn't give out anything to get it.
Sometimes there are these little faces in my head, little different views. Everything I think about, I have another view just behind it, and some times, another behind, and another, another behind. It's really frustrating at times, because you don't know what to believe. You don't know what's really your thought, and it's frightening. I'm still trap in it, but the difference is that this time, I'm fighting my way to get out of it.
I felt such a surge today at Geography. I wanted to do my best, and get the recognition that I did try my best. And so, I worked toward my goal. I might not reach it anytime soon, considering how many parts I have to work hard in, but I think that with time, I could actually reach it. I already took a small step, but the knowledge was vast...
Part of this entry, is to remind myself that I actually did have a point in my depression where I had an immense desire that put my best in everything. I want to remember that, so if I actually do go back to my depression, there might be a day when I could get out of it once again.
Nowies, back to other matters.
I'm gonna end this now. I don't exactly feel like writing much now anyways. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki whispered @ some time
Seriously tired
Date: 04/07/03Time: 12:26 am
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: None
*plops onto an empty couch* Hey people! I think I'm in a better mood, despite the exhaustion. Nothing much to say today. I worked more on the new layout for KR, thought of a new layout for FW, figured how to do something cool for layouts, worked on the Five Paragraph Essay, math, and practise gymnastics. Re-watched Spy Kids 2 (i want the gadjets!!), Master of Disguise (soo funny), One Hour Photo (seriously creepy, but deep), yelled at my brothers, ate chocolates, and went around the net. Pretty normal for a day.
And that's the least of what I should've done. *sigh* I really need to start writing. I'm way behind. Sad, sad, sad.
Think that's all I can write. Even my entries are getting shorter! -_____-'
Well bai people.
Yuki Kamitoki disappeared in thin air @ 12:35 am
I don't know who I am anymore...
Date: 04/04/03Time: 9:27 pm
Current Mood: Exhausted
Current Song: Deep River
I feel tired, I feel lonely, and I feel I don't want to see another day again. I really don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what I want, what I need, anything! And I'm exhausted just thinking about it. Nothing's fun anymore, no genuine smiles, no real laughs, everything's fake. And I want to escape...
I feel I'm being stretched out, and it's not a good feeling. Heck, I'm stretched out everyday now. There's really nothing worth living for, and that seriously, sucks. But that's me, isn't it? *sigh*
It seems at least 2/3 of the time now, I'm ranting about my very sad life. But I don't know what else I could do. I'm deeply covered in all sorts of work, and I still continue to be lazy, as bad as it sounds. It will be a really long time, before I can take a step forward again.
But anyhow, I have an idea for a new site. A fanfiction log. Sounds interesting? But of course I'll get started on it after I put up either UTS or KR up. I really want to get started on my sites.
Wellies, one more boring entry to my pointless blog. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki frown @ 10:08 pm
Well, finally actually put them on hiatus
Date: 03/30/03Time: 4:14 pm
Current Mood: Sad >_<
Current Song: None
As the title says, I finally put them on hiatus, and I'm sad.. :( *sigh* But there wasn't much use for it up, these days. It seemed to be the only solution..
I think I'm gonna make screenshots of the layouts and all that. And then delete the images for the layouts. They take up too much space, and if I'm going to move in my two other sites, I need space. Seriously, why can't geocities give more space or something?
But anyhow. School is dead, we just had a history test on Friday. Pretty wasy, I guess, but yeah. And we had a lockdown on Wednesday in French class. Madame had us crouched in a corner and told us not to make any sounds. We stayed there for a period and more and we missed like 25 minutes of Math. Too bad we didn't miss P.E though. x_X It would've been absolutely wonderful.
We're doing gymnastics for P.E, not fun. Really, teachers want us to care about safety and all that, but then why would they teach us gymnastics? Gymnastics could and would kill you if you aren't already. -_-'
On to another subject.. Well, actually there's nothing really to talk about. ... -__________-' So, I guess I'll end another pointless entry in my life. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki frown @ 4:28 pm
Sites on Hiatus
Date: 03/22/03Time: 6:20 pm
Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Song: How Do I Deal
I've thought long and hard about this issue, and I finally came to a decision. I want to give some space to myself. Take some time off to find who I am and what I'm missing. I find that lots of people are doing that now. And though, as much as I don't want to do it, I think I might. I am finding too many things that I need to work on, and the fault is that I'm trying to do all of it at the same time. It worked pretty okay in the beginning, but now, as I'm losing strength in holding it, I can't. It's like glasses on a tray. Each glass represents the things I have to do, and the tray, is my will that holds all the glasses up. However, I'm getting tired of holding them, they kill the arms (-_-'), and yeah. I just don't know what else to do...
On a lighter note, I'm putting only BSR and DS on haitus. I find that I can't really do much for the review community. I mean there's so many new opened WPRs each day. (that might be an exaggerated comment..) And I don't really need my collective now. Until I put up my personal writing site, my graphic site, and others up, I'll take it off hiatus.
Also, I'll tell you another wonderful news! ^__^ I finally figured how to code the second version of UTS in frames!! ^_____^ Isn't it wonderful? The only problem is the image compression. Saving it in JPG makes it look.. dead. But saving it in GIF is even worse. The whole image is pratically ruined. -_-' Really sad. I'm beginning to wonder if it's because of AS.
But anyhow. I'll probably work more on DOTH, and UTS. The layouts are already done, it's only the content now. I'm really hoping to get those up soon. But, personally, I might change DOTH's layout. And the name too. It just sounds.. completely not graphicish.
Well, let's see what else to write. I watched Simone (absolutely an amazing movie!), Serving Sara (pretty amusing), and I think that's all. Really wonderful movies. Too bad I couldn't videotape Master of Disguise. *sigh* It was very, very funny. The DVD's out, you could buy it and watch it. You'll love it! ^__^
Seems, I have nothing else to say. So, bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki smiled @ 6:51 pm
Just have to say something
Date: 03/10/03Time: 10:47 pm
Current Mood: Stumach hurts..
Current Song: None
Just have to say that if you're ever going to Toronto, go to Sam Woo BBQ Restaurant. The food there is completely wonderful. Just had some few minutes ago, takes like heaven! ^__^ Well have to go now, mom needs to use the phone. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 10:49 pm
^__^
Date: 03/10/03Time: 8:39 pm
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: Unable to Speak
I finally found a part of what I'm looking for so long! ^__^ I was sitting down, writing summaries for my stories, that I'm putting in my newly made site, Unable to Speak. It's a personal writing website. Anyway, I was writing summaries for some of my pretty old fanfics, and I finally found what I needed to continue writing it. I needed to find out first, what I really wanted it to be about. There are so many things you could do in writing. Everything that you write effect something in return. There are so many roads to take, that I got lost on the way. But I'm finally on track. I know what I want, and I could picture it in my mind. I could see the feelings that each character felt, their actions to come, and what it could effect...
I'm so happy! ^__^ After so many brooding days of unhappiness, there's finally something that I could leap in, and won't be confined to. It's a really free feeling, like the wind that passes through your hair, leaving you wanting more of it, yet never really able to get too much of it.
I'm not going to Toronto this week. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. I'm not sure if it's a good thing. Whatever my wish was, nobody did, except my dad. But anyhow. Toronto was a big lift, a freedom that I could hide in. I thought that by going there, I could try to bask in the happiness I felt before, and start anew even for few minutes. However, I figured out now, that I couldn't. Because it held too many happy memories, I have been seeking it for many months, leaving me behind on what really counted. Despite the stuffy house that I've been confined to almost 24/7, I can't imagine leaving another home again. I can't. I once did, and I don't want to again. Regardless of the boring city, the unhappy yet joyful even for a minute days at school, I learned to laugh through all troubles, and forget the embarrasing moments. Maybe, I don't have as much happy memories here as I did there, I could still try to make new memories. I can't always walk back to the past whenever I'm down. I have to learn to face the loneliness, and treasure what's in front of me.
And through all that, I can't seem to forget the past. I loved it, and it was the only shelter I had. Things change so easily, even for a brief moment of time. I depise that, and I knew long time ago, that I couldn't control what passed on, though I did have a wish to.
I don't know what life holds for me now that I finally actually thought closer about my past. Could I face everyday thinking that the day will be better when it might not? Would I be able to essentially treasure all that's in front of me? Perhaps, perhaps not. I really want to start anew. I once tried so about three, four months ago. It wasn't too big a change. Can't exactly remember what I felt then, probably thought that my haircut looked revolting to be put nicely. -_-'
Anyhowie, I think I'm done thinking too much about the past and all that. Seriously, I think I think too much.. -_-'
Yesterday was my brother's birthday. Nothing special happened. No birthday cakes, no presents, no wishes of a 'happy birthday'. Isn't that bad? I don't want anybody to go through such sadness on the day that they were born. Yet, I couldn't seem to do that for my brother. *sad* I'm such a horrible sister. Can't even do something simple for a brother. But I know that for all it's worth, I do care for him, no matter how annoying, mean, and violent he is. (such corny lines, -_-')
Wellies, have to go now. I think I should make a card for him. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki dreamily skipped before tripping (-_-') @ 9:05 pm
*sigh* ...
Date: 03/05/03Time: 9:43 pm
Current Mood: Dead
Current Song: None
Within a blink of an eye, it's already March.. The days past by so quickly. Anyhow, I see so many blogs of Chinese people now. Is there a sudden growth spurt thing? Hmm...
Almost March Break! I can't wait. I might go to Toronto, but then I don't exactly want to, cause I'll miss all the shows, and no one could help me videotape it. That's sad.. How long has it been since I went back there? I think about a year or more.. *sigh* I miss the old days.
Once again, I don't feel like myself. Well, I might have a link to find my missing bracelet, but the thing is, I'm not going after it. Is that a bad thing? I mean, I really want to find it, and I keep on pushing myself, to try and remember how it looked, however, the thing is I can't remember. and I don't have a resolute to go and ask about it.
Seriously, I feel that March is not doing me any good either. Well, except for the March Break, but that's about all. There's so much homework piled up now, that I can't seem to get time to myself. There's a Math test tomorrow, and a story due (which, may I say, I haven't been working much on), then there's questions due on Friday, and lots of homework in Chinese, and all these things that I have to do for my websites. I have to get the new layout up for LFE, and more content, try and get information out of Moon and make another new layout for BSR, work on the new graphic site, get the cliques up, try and get out a new layout and more content for DS, etc. There are too many things to care for, that I think my head's going to burst.
*sigh* I'm whining aren't I? If people actually cooperate with me, I'm sure that life could go much better, yet the thing is, no one is. I feel ignored.. But am I really? I think now, my life holds more sadness than happiness. This school isn't doing me any good, really. I like the school, but it never gave me enough happy memories to block the unhappy one. I think Toronto is much better. At least I spend more time with my parents, and aren't always locked up in a house. Do you know how much time I get to spend with my parents now? About 1/6 of a day with them. That's about only 4 hours.
Back in Toronto, every Sunday, my mother stayed at home, Saturday, both my parents, and from Monday to Friday, my mother went to work, and my father stayed at home. That's a heck lot of time than I do with them now. I'm sure more than half. All they do, is focus on work, and my brothers and I are not connecting anymore. Here, they're not who they used to be, neither am I. Moving here, changed everything. Now, our house is so messy, that my parents threatened to not let us go to Toronto until the house is clean, and my brothers swear, and say profanity words. It's like they're a whole new person...
I really want to live back in Toronto for sure.
You know, I think I say more innner things here, than I do with my friends. Pretty sad. Well, got to go. Hungry. Bai.
Yuki Kamitoki drifted lonely away @ 10:17 pm
Seriously, I hate Fridays
Date: 02/28/03Time: 9:33 pm
Current Mood: Sad and lonely :(
Current Song: Girl In Your Dreams
I am so tired.. I really want to forget all about everything that happened this past few days. This month. February is now a month that I'm detesting. Nothing joyful actually ever happened in this month. I jumped through soo many mood swings, I can't take count of them. I really don't want to go through them, but they just happen. It's just something that I couldn't control all. And before you ask, I'm sure I not going through any PMS phase.
*sigh* If I could, I really want to change everything. I want to start all over again, and take a different road, that could and would actually lead to somewhere, not nowhere, because that's what I feel I'm at. No purpose, no plan, no hope.. What is life's purpose anyway? Why do we live, when one day we're going to die? I really wonder about that, yet I could never get a reasonable answer.
So, how are all the people out there? Good, I hope..
Wellies, life is so boring these days...
I wanted to put the new layout up yesterday, but couldn't, so here it is now. I still have to work on LFE and DS' layout pages, so I guess I'll see people later. Bai bai..
Yuki Kamitoki drifted lonely away @ 9:46 pm
I'm so happy!!
Date: 02/24/03Time: 9:29 pm
Current Mood: Wonderfully happy!
Current Song: None
Ohh! I'll tell you a wonderful news! I got granted a transfer! ^__^ I'm soo happy!! ^________________________________^ Haven't really felt this jubilent in a long time..
Anyhow, today I went food shopping with my brothers, and my dad. Did you ever known that cream cheese tastes wonderfully with crackers? I tried it today, and after few seconds of savoring the taste, I convinced my dad to buy it. Also, we brought this chicken thing, kinda like a satay, but not exactly. Last time, I went with my mom, I tried it, and wanted to buy it but couldn't. *pouts* We also brought chips!! Ohh, sounds like I'm gonna stuff myself in the oncoming days!
Soo, let's start with the morning. I was late.. again. (Let's have a raise of hands, on who actually suspected that coming) Had to shovel the snow for community service. >_< It made my hands red. And I think I got a cold from that. I also went to see my designated school. It's bigger then the school I go to now, but not as big as the school I got a transfer to. It was pretty boring on the way to (we had to walk.. X_X) and I had to walk alone.. T_T They all abandoned me... *lonely*
*sigh* Anyway, the school offers you many things. Such as a learning for Sisco, (think that's how you spell it), where if you pass it, you'll get a certificate, and be able to help connect computer network. (uhh, something like that) Also, you get to make your own website with multimedia, and Animation GIF. It sounds pretty interesting really. If most of my friends weren't going to the school I got a transfer to, I'll go to that school.
You know, something really funny happened today. While we went to the Art room, there was all these displays of artworks and also doors of art. My art teacher saw it, and wanted to buy the door. The art teacher (at that school) asked her (my art teacher) where she wanted to put it. I didn't really hear what happened next, cause our group left. You actually have to be at the scene to make sense of it.
Wellies, I think I'm done for the day. Nothing else, really much happened. Unless you count my brother getting millions of scars around his body. -_-' Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 9:49 pm
ARRGH! Not fair!
Date: 02/22/03Time: 7:56 pm
Current Mood: Angry!
Current Song: None
*stomps in* ARRGH! I can't believe it! Baka geocities didn't let me sign in to my account! *mad face* Seriously! Had to do something with cookies, and all that. Humph! This week was just a total disaster. Really.
Now, let's start with yesterday. A really baka day. This stupid baka had to bother us (Moon, Shadowcat, and I) in French. Very annoying. Took my pen, and killed it, but luckily he fixed it back, keep on poking Moon (she sat beside him that day, really unfortunate), and arrgh! He's just very annoying. In other words a baka. Then we had P.E. Almost all the people there, thought of us as invisible or something. That's a good thing, really, but sometimes being invisible for too long, could kill you. History, Geography, and Language Arts were okay, I'll admit. But then came the bad part. Well, the one after lunch.
I was dead, or rather my eyebrow was cause someone killed it. It did kinda hurt, well for the first minutes of recess. Anyhow, somewhere within, another friend came, and talked about someone liking Ashley-chan!! ^__^ If she actually reads this, I'm sure she's gonna kill me. Eek! *scurries behind the bed* But anyhow, well this friend, told us (Ashley-chan and I) that someone liked her. Actually two! ^__^ So, hearing this news, I quickly ran to Moon, to tell her that, and almost reached her.. until she caught me (drat!). Somehow, I got out of her arms thing, and ran like I never did before! (Well, kinda, not really) She came after me, and had this murdereous glare that if had actually been possible, would fry me to crisps. *shudders* So, I kept on running around, trying to evade her grasps of me, by using people as a shield. (I'm such a coward, -_-') They were mean though! They kept on trying to not be my shield. *pouts*
Anyway, she did catch me sooner or later, and after few seconds of calmness, a happy smile reached her face, and she said, "Okay, I'm not gonna chase you anymore!" Uhh, something along that line. But, being the big mouth I am, and one that never learn her lessons, I suddenly said something about Juice, or Bacon, or the two people that the friend says that likes Ashley-chan.. -_-' I think you know what happened next. A glare suddenly replaced the few second calmness, and she grabbed my arm, while saying, "What did you say?" Uhh, something along that line too. I am really pulling the thread, aren't I? So, once again the chase went on, and the shields try to escape from being killed by either Ashley-chan or me. -_- Such good friends they are.
Seriously, I thought I was going to have a heart attack! Next, another baka. We had Science next, and there's this guy that sits next to me. He's annoying as much as the person in French class, but that one is more annoying than this. Actually the one in Science isn't that annoying, but yeah. We took up our Science test, and in one question, he took my test paper out of my hands, and read it. He was gonna ask the teacher about this question we were taking up. I didn't want him to, and felt like I was gonna have another heart attack. He remained insistent about the question, ignored my pleas for him not to, and complimented that the question could actually receive a full mark. He read it to the teacher, even the part that I wrote the right answer, and she told him, that the last line was just written down. I took my sheet back, and told him that I did write that. He told me that I never told him that, and I told him that he never asked. It was quite funny a bit, now that my anger and all that cooled down.
Also, during Science, I was writing these sentences for Moon, describing hair and eyes. Two or three times, he looked over and asked what I was doing. I ignored him. But then, when the teacher was collecting the test papers. The guy next to me, took my paper, and the paper that I was writing for Moon. -_- In a rush of haste, I quickly stood up, and tried to get the paper. He passed it to the girl in front of him, and she gave it to me. I'm not exactly sure if that was intentional or not, but anyhow. Another heart attack! T__T
And one last time that day for another heart attack. We had TAG next, and because we had a supply teacher, almost everyone was in different seats. Shadowcat sat behind me, and Moon to the left of her. We had to do this coat of arm that represents on some level us. Moon drew the moon in its different stages, and Shadowcat drew the elements. She said the she just drew it for fun, and ignored what I said that the elements could represent something. -_-'
Kay, so there's another guy next to me, and an annoying one too. While I was facing Shadowcat, he suddenly slapped his arms onto my shoulders and scared me to death! Seriously, do everyone want to give me a heart attack! I can't take it you know.
Well, I need to go now, hungry. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:43 pm
Ohh, boring day
Date: 2/20/03Time: 8:11 pm
Current Song: None
Current Mood: Bored
Seriously, bored is probably the first word in my vocabulary.. o_O
Ai.. Anyhow, I just uploaded 31 avatars for LFE. Yay!! I think I need to do more..
Well, so far, the day was pretty boring. Had Art, and let me tell you, the teacher is mean, and I'm on some level deathly afraid of her. O_O It's true, but I'm mostly afraid of the DT teacher. So sarcastic. And mean. We had to draw ourselves, my drawing skills are really bad. >_< It's not fair. Shadowcat's almost done with hers and I love Moon's hair! So sharp..
P.E was basically.. dead. Yep. For about the whole period, no one noticed us. It was like we're invisible. It was only until the last five minutes of the period, did someone actually notice us. But, *sigh* sports are fun sometimes, but yeah. Ohh, I feel so useless in that catergory. The other class beat ours by like 10 to 4 or something. >_< This was our second time being beaten! -_-'
We had a supply teacher for LA. She's pretty mean. Just one word spoken, and she kicks the person out. And the class was so quiet. *silence* Soo, I'm bored. ^^' Really, life is so boring these days. The only thing that lights it up, is making graphics. I developed a passion for it! Love it to death! *glomps graphics* Ahem, anyhow. The new layout for FW will be up on the 27th. I want to upload it on FW's.. was it the 4th month anniversary? Yep. Looks pretty wonderful to me. And it'll be a change to the dark colors FW has been sporting for months. Also, Secrets Behind will be getting a new layout today! ^__^ I'm going to upload it soon. Well, need to go now. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:24 pm
Wonderful news!
Date: 2/18/03Time: 5:24 pm
Current Song: None
Current Mood: Delightful
Ohh! Good news! I made a new layout for FW yesterday!! ^__^ Yep, yep! It's a bit pinkish. I was gonna make on orangish layout for FW, but for some reason I changed it to Secrets Behind, and it wasn't even a month old yet! >_< Well, anyhow, there's a lot that happened from the last entry to today. I'll try to write the events that happen now.
Letsee, well, Moon finally posted in Secrets Behind! Yep, and last, last weekend, Moon and Shadowcat was at my house (we had to work on History project though it seemed more like playing around, -_-') and we made an entry together! It was hiliarious, but probably confusing to the people that weren't at the scene then.
You know what? I'll start with that day they came to my house. Now, I was running around, trying to make the house clean, but the fact remains, our house it messy! However, it was clean enough. There was once this person that came to our house, and a past customer of this bakery my parents and uncles and aunts owned. She looked around the house, and asked if we just moved! >_< It was like the third year we had the house. *sigh* Anyhow, they came and we sorta tried to work on the project. They were to hung up on trying to see my room. -_-' Last summer, my cousin came with his parents and my aunts, uncles, and other cousins. He wanted to see my room too. But, I'm really conscious of my room or something, and it is my privacy thing. In the end, I did let him see it. He thought there were these things in it. x_X
Back to the subject at hand, I did let them see the room, and by the end of the day around, we had barely anything done. I really think my computer hates me. Really! It always dies out on me, but I love it anyhow! ^__^ The next day they came back, and we got more things done. Yep! It had some visual effects, but seriously, it's really dull compare to the others. At least, that's my opinion.
On Wednesday we presented our History project. It was okay, but I spoke a bit too fast. And I got a 75.. T_T Not fair! Humph. Soo, the next day we had a trip to the canal, and then the dance. The canal was so freezing! My toes, I'm sure, was frozen. I think last year's trip to the canal wasn't as cold as this year's. At least I didn't have to go into that stuffy room with so many people. But, I didn't really knew there was one. ^^'
Well, I walked around with Moon. I didn't bring skates. It caused a bit too much trouble. I could still remember last year's trip. It will be in my memory forever, haunting me till death. *sigh* When we got back to school, I had to cut the Valentine cards for people. Ohh! I love them a lot! ^__^ They're so kawaii! ^__^ Then after lunch, and recess, we had the dance. But we also had like 30 minutes of detention with the Art teacher. >_< We weren't free to go until like 2:30, and there was only like one hour left of the dance. I didn't go to the dance again. Stayed with Shadowcat and Ashley-chan in the library. I was in that depressing mood again. Seriously, I go into it way too much last week. This time I was depressed and angry and all that, cause Shadowcat wouldn't go to the dance. *sigh* It seems pretty petty now, but I did promise that if she wouldn't go, I'll go into that mood again. I have to keep what I promised, or what's the point in making promises?
At the library I read Ashley-chan's second part story, which I forgot the title. *sweatdrop* There was this sappy part thing at the end. I still think Ashley and Ash goes good together!!
On Friday, I got invited to Kaomi's birthday party thing. Only Shadowcat, Moon, and Ashley-chan as well as me were there. She was going to invite this other person, but didn't. There was pizza, and chips, as well as toritos! Yumm! I challenged Ashley-chan to eat ten pizzas. She only ate five though. She wanted to eat the other five at home. What a meanie. >_< Well, I already ate lunch, but after an hour or so, I grew hungry. I was still eating toritos then though. I ate like three pizzas but Shadowcat and Moon kept on taking a piece of it. -_-'
Kaomi is deeply into Inuyasha. I kinda understood why, but yeah. You know what? I decided that I might enter the talent show with this fantastic song that I happened to have found. It's a Japanese song, but it has a English version, and it's wonderful! ^__^ Kaomi might do 'Our Hope' by Mandy Moore. It's a good song, but I like mine better.
I went back home late from Kaomi's house. About 9:30. We went to a comic shop. There were so many animes and such in it! Soo sugoi! Anyhow, since I'm skipping a lot of details for these past few days, this entry isn't as long as it would be without the skipping. So, today, was pretty okay. I didn't go into any depressing moods, though Shadowcat did. Shadowcat, if you're reading this (which you probably will days after this entry), remember what you wrote in your agenda? To always stay happy? Don't let other unimportant things wash that over. There are many things (or people, ahem) that could make you happy, if you'll actually give it a chance! And, please do not say that you don't understand this!
We had a test today for Integrated Arts. An open test, may I mention. *grins* I got everything except the second last question. The teacher didn't even write that famous chef anywhere in our notes, and he expects us to rely on our memory? I don't think so. I have a bad memory, I'll admit that, but I could remember things, if I actually want to really remember it. And though the movie was pretty interesting, I didn't really find any use to remember names.
We read 'The Bet' today at LA. It's a really interesting story about a foolish banker and lawyer. It was argueing about whether dying or living in prison was the best situation. The lawyer thought that it was better to live in prison than to not live at all. However, the banker thought otherwise. He made a bet with the lawyer of two million rubles that the lawyer couldn't last five years in prison. The lawyer said simply of fifteen years. So, the bet was for the banker to stake two million rubles that the lawyer couldn't stay fifteen years in prison. It's a really interesting story. And it makes people actually wonder at all. Which one is the best solution? Hmm.. I'll tell you what I think in hte next entry. I wrote too much and my hands, back, and neck is in pain. x_X So, bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 6:31 pm
Bored
Date: 1/28/03Time: 7:46 pm
Current Song: None
Current Mood:
*slowly, drags self in* Bored. *sigh* Well check here. It's the newly made site, Secrets Behind, of a group blog. But so far, only Shadowcat and me are posting in it. Need to drag Moon and Ashley-chan in somehow. Decided to make this tutorial for them on how to post and such. Going to start on it soon.
Anyhow, got back my internet either yesterday or two days ago. *sweatdrop* Gomen, it's lack of memory again. Added some blinkies to LFE that i made. I really like the mel one!
Life's so boring these days...Letsee what happened today. Was woken up early in the morning by the alarm thingy installed in the house. Kept on ringing for like 20 times through two hours. And each one ranged from one minute to like 5 minutes, or more. -_-' So, being already woken up, decided to take a bath and all that, uploaded the blinkies (think it was today), and killed time on the internet. Ate breakfast, urged my dad to hurry up, and went to school. Got there like 5 minutes after they rang the bell for students to go in the school. And still got a few minutes of time to spare. After that, we just watched presentations and did gym. I really like today's gym period, you know. It's fun enough. But then I was kinda afraid of the substitute teacher. He's the guy that sets me up for commmunite service cause I'm always late.
After gym, we had DT. Two periods of DT, though it was more like socializing, like Moon said. It was okay, nothing much to do. And the day went on. You know, I almost fell asleep when the presentations were going on!
Tehe. Not exactly my fault, you could blame it all on the alarm thing, which was, few seconds ago, ringing. It's so sensitive!Well, I'm gonna go now. I should post in the SB blog a bit more. It's needs a lot of loving entries, which some people (not mentioning any names, ahem..) are not supplying. So, bai bai!!
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:10 pm
He's gonna leave soon! 
Time: 9:33 pm
Current Song: None
Current Mood:
Auntie's gonna leave tomorrow!! T_T I'll miss him. I know that once he leaves, another chapter will end, and another will begin. It's not fair!! Humph. *crosses arms* Today's like his last day with us, and all he does is sleep. *sigh* We were going to take pictures of him. I think he's sleeping right now though.
Anyhow, I was almost late again for school. The key word is almost. Cause of my lateness I had to sit somewhere else. Actually right next to the teacher's desk. We also had DT today. Talked a lot. It gave my an idea, that on the new site, Moon and I are working on, we'll have a section there for questions/answers. Basically physiologists stuff.
We're also gonna make a clique dedicated to kawaii creatures, such as Tare Panda, Mashimaro, Hamtaro, Pikachu, etc. Pretty exciting. Much to do too. There's still the new layouts for the sites, and still have to put up SB's layout today. And I have to cancel internet today!
Hopefully I'll be able to get back my internet soon. The layout for LFE might have to wait a bit. Sorry Shadowcat!! Don't be mad at me!!!
Well, even if you are, you still have to remember my 10 chocolates, kay! ^__^
Well, I'm not gonna update here now. Maybe at SB soon. I'll post the link up as soon as I'm sure that it's all done and that. So bai bai for now!! Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 10:14 pm
Awww! He's soo kawaii!!!
Date: 1/19/03Time:
Current Mood: Happy
Current Song: None
We (my brothers, aunt and I) just changed diapers for Auntie. When we took off his dirty diaper and cleaned him, we let him walk around the bed a bit. He kept on laughing! ^__^ My aunt says he likes the warm breeze. The pamper was too tight, it caused a red line around him. And he made the bed dirty! *laughs* Sat around the bed, and the pillow, without his diaper. I'm glad I'm not sleeping in that room! :)
Oh! And just as I was tying the earlier paragraph, my brother gave me Auntie. I held him, while my brother ran up to him with wild arm motions. Auntie was trying to get away from my brother. Turned out that he liked being chased. So we kept on chasing him. I'm holding Auntie, while my brothers chased him. It was soo fun! ^__^
Also, he likes to catch balls! My brother threw him a ball, and he tried to catch it. That scene was soo cute. I'm really gonna miss him when he leaves on Tuesday. And when I see him again, he'll be like 1 and a half years old. *sigh*
GTG now. Bai bai!!!
Yuki Kamitoki smiled brightly @ 10:36 pm
Auntie is cute, but criey, -_-'
Date: 1/19/03Time: 9:20 pm
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: None
*sigh* I love Auntie, really, I do, but he cries too much. -_-' I slept with him today, at 6 am. Really, really tired. Woken up by my mom, so that she could do my aunt's hair. I never really knew how hard it is, or even know how to be up, yet sleep. Hafta be alert, in case he cries. So, I'm like sleeping a bit, and ears are alert, to any cries from him. If he does, I'll just give him, his pacifier, or slap him lightly. Why that works, I'm at a lost.
And then, when I was finally able to sleep, I woke up again. At 8. He was sitting up, I think. (How he did, I'd like to know) And he was staring at me. Stains of tears on his face. My heart lurched then, and I couldn't help but cuddle him up! ^__^ Sooo kawaii!!!
I took him around the rooms, and settled him later in my room. He was playing with my stuff animals. There was this particular one that could make sounds, when you squeeze it in the middle. I don't think he likes it much. He rather liked the Mashimaro pillow I had. Or maybe it's the tag on it. *sweatdrop* Anyhow, when my brothers and cousins (they slept over) woke up, they asked around for Auntie. Can't believe they didn't even think that it's in my room. So my younger brother went downstairs to my mom and aunt, and asked them where he was. My aunt's like, "What?! You lost my baby? How could you? You were sleeping with him!" It's pretty funny. I took Auntie out of my room, and my brother just showed up on the stairs.
Hehe. So, life went on. My brother and my cousin had an arguement today. My brother was swearing at my cousin. And he hit him cause of the swearing. What a rowdy bunch. They kept on yelling and all that. My aunt tried to solve the problem. She called my uncle and told him to pick up my cousin. He didn't want to go, nor did he want to compromise. When my uncle came, he brought chocolates. Big ones. Yummy. Err, anyway. At last, they both said their sorries, and ate their chocolates. It wasn't a happy ending though. No siree. He and his brother had to go with their father. (Mother's orders) And the older cousin kept on saying, "But I'm a good boy." *sigh* I feel bad for him.
I need to wash my hair. ... ^^'
Well, finished the SB layout. Actually finished it a long time ago. I need to make sure the sliced images are actually right and all that. Too lazy. I made some ID cards today. Two in all. They're pretty okay. Started on a LFE award. There's something wrong with the award on LFE. Need to fix it soon. DSs' layout is almost finished. Just need to code and slice. I got some inspiration for layouts. Just need to put them into action. Also, LFE's next layout won't be done by me. I'll put up the one I made like next month or something, for the next, next version.
There's more to tell, if I can actually remember them. *sweatdrop* Anyhow, bai bai.
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 9:35 pm
First day of school in 2003, and stuffs
Date: 1/6/03Time: 8:06 pm
Current Mood: Full and anxious
Current Song: Must be Mine
If you were here for the last entry, about the next day of the new year, you'll probably be curious as to why, nothing is filled in. And the answer to that, is that my computer hates me. Yep, it does, and probably will for a long time. Seeing, as I keep on overusing it. *sweatdrop*
Today's the first day of school in 2003, a bit anxious, I guess. Too careful though. Like yesterday, late at night. Ususually on regular days, I'll just.. sleep. *nods* And then leave everything for the next day. But I guess a new day in a new year, seemed just, different. I planned everything down to the last bone. Each minute already has a job to do. ... Well, maybe I'm exaggerating that abit. But it takes the basic stand.
Yet I couldn't sleep, even if I slept early. I guess that's a habit. So, I crept downstairs to watch TV. There's this interesting Chinese movie, that takes place where there's still kings in China. And it's kinda like, well focus on mysteries, laws, and all that. I'm probably making it sound not that good, probably even boring. But, ne c'est pas my fault. When needing to describe something, I can't find the right words for it. So I often make it sound like the opposite of what it really is.
Anyhow, we're working on a biography for LA. Pretty interesting, I guess. I'm doing R. R. Tolkien. He's a really weird, and strange person. I'm sure, I could actually go somewhere with him. Err.. does that make sense at all?
So, while we're at the library, I suddenly had those strange, but meaningful ideas that could actually work. I wanted to do a group blog! ^__^ Yep, and shadowcat, Moon, and Ashley-chan, will write in it, as well as me. Yep, and I'm doing the new layout! ^__^ Hehe, really, really happy.
I'm really proud of myself you know? And I suddenly found a passion for making graphics. Writing, I'll probably leave it at a side for a while. I can't seem to put my words down anyway. I'll probably take a long (long might mean about a year.. -_-') rest. Hopefully, than I'll be able to pick up a pencil, or start typing.
Oh! I'm not sure if I mentioned this before, but a new layout for LFE, and DS is going to be coming soon. And all by ME!! ^_^ Yep, I also have more ideas for cliques, and I'm hoping during my 1 week rest, I'll be able to work on them.
Before I forget, I decided to leave the internet for about 5 or 6 weeks. Each of course, will have at least a day where I'll return to it. This cruel punishment, *weeps* is because I'm late. Uh huh. Everytime I'm late I have to leave my poor darling internet for a week. I'm late for school for about 3 times already. And Choir for about 2 times. However for Choir, I have to leave my wonderful darling for 2 weeks. How unfair! Arrgh, why did I set myself to such horror? Why? Tell my why?!?!?!
Err, yeah. Well that's the manical (?? word ??) me talking. Anyway, see shadowcat's site. It's pretty good, and she might add more stuffies to it soon.
*slaps forehead* Shoot! I forgot to mention that Anthony's coming tomorrow! He's sooooo CUTE!!! Oh, you can just cuddle him up, and those eyes staring at you... *stars appears in eyes* I just love him!!! He was suppose to come on Monday though.. *frowns* But, doesn't matter cause he'll be here soon. I'll put up a pic of him, as soon as I get pics of him. He's just so kawaii! Tehe..
I need to go now. Chinese movie. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:35 pm
Tsk, tsk.. Really disappointed... On a lighter note, Happy New Years?!
Date: 1/1/03Time: 11:03 pm
Current Mood: *sigh* Bored..
Current Song: None
You know, out of the whole Gundam Wing websites in about three pages of google, there are barely any Duo pics? I am really disappointed at the webmasters/webmistresses of those sites. Sure, they say on the bio thing, that there are pics of Duo, but when you enter the site, there isn't any. And even if there were pics of him, those were just measly ones.. *sigh*
You notice what I notice, while browsing through the thousands of sites on GW? Lots of people support Hiiro and Duo together.. o_O I read a fic once about them. It's quite funny. Hiiro had to accept a mission where he had to go to an all girls school, for some reason I can't remember. It was hilarious! He had to wear a dress, and put make-up on.. *chuckles loudly* I wonder how he'll really look like dressed as a girl.. Hmm.. *ponders*
I don't see why people oppose of yaoi and yuri. There's nothing wrong about it. It's still a relationship. *shakes head* People really have close minds. I once watched this yaoi movie. I never really knew it was yaoi in the beginning, but it's really sad. There's this guy that likes another guy. However his father disapproves of their relationship. He really wants a grandchild you see, but deep inside, I'm sure that he actually came to accept it through time. Well, anyway, that guy has a brother. The brother has a girlfriend, but was spotted in a gay bar by his brother-in-law. It was later found out, that the brother was gay as well. He really hated himself, breaking his father's hope. He was the only son, that could actually have a child to continue their name, yet, he couldn't help himself, if he didn't actually like girls. His brother stood by him though, even though his parents didn't. Yet time, could sometime heal all wounds. His father accepted it, and everything was happy..
My summary's bad isn't it? I'm missing a lot of parts, but I have a bad memory, as many people say. *scowls at them* Well, anyhow, I might be thinking about writing a yaoi/yuri fic. Maybe this change of theme, will help me along the way. I find that writing is really hard for me. I can't seem to make new sentences.. But I do have lots of new ideas. I think I just need a change of scenery. Facing the same thing for a long time, can always bring the bad side out.
A new change of year, brings new things. It's time to start trying new things, and at a change of pace.. Which means, that I'm going to try and work on Once Upon A Time. I have a new layout almost ready, and I made it by myself!! ^__^ However, I'm not sure I want to start on that site. I'm thinking of starting on Given Candy, however I still don't have the things needed to start on that site. Besides, that pic, is really kawaii, but not a pic from Hamtaro.
So.. maybe I'm have that layout for Destiny's Comeback..? I'll think about that. Well, bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 11:28 pm
GUYS ARE IDIOTS!!!
Date: 12/31/02Time: 3:49 pm
Current Mood: Angry
Current Song: None
*stomps into the room* You know guys are really idiots? Well, if I don't know you then you aren't in my list of idiots, but still. They think they can just walk over us, because we're girls, and all that. Not caring about anything. And then after that, they just go back to that sweet, overused, stupid act of theirs. It really makes me sick. Arrgh!
*calms down, sighs* So, how's everybody's holidays? Mine is just downright boring.. And painful. It kills my neck, and back.. My body is aching too much lately. The back, neck, stomach, eye, head..
I got myself up, and going. Made some new pages, added a few stuff here and there. I'm soo tired.. Talked with shadowcat, and Moon today. Called Ashley-chan, but I got the answering machine.. O.O I wonder where she is..
I know I'm whining, but- I WANT TO GO TO TORONTO!!! Not fair.. *sigh* Life is like that. Hopefully, I'll be able to go then sometime at March Break. Or summer.. *gulps*
Well I found out what Ryu meant yesterday, when I was added Japanese words to the Japanese page in LFE. I wonder how he, and Nishi, and them are doing.. Life is really boring now, now that they aren't here to spice it up. *sigh* I wanted to visit them again, didn't go though.
Anyhow, I think I'm going to kill that guestbook at Signmyguestbook.com. It's really unreliable. Though a bit useful, but that's like 0.1 out of 100. Alxnet is a bit better, but you can't change the template exactly, or decide where the stuffs go.
Lately I've been getting e-mails from some unknown person, and this person called Rita Walia. They keep on sending me stuff about True love, and all that. It's really weird.
Anyway, I'm going to go now. Life is too boring.. I'll probably watch TV, or finish up LFE, or call Ashley-chan..
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 4:08 pm
Gonna kill someone soon!
Date: 12/29/02Time: 1:07 am
Current Mood: *grabs hair in frustration* Going to kill someone soon!
Current Song: None
I am seriously, really, going to kill someone soon, or electronic thingy soon. *glares at computer* This is like the third time I had to rewrite this entry and I am not pleased with it. Arrgh!
I just finished watching Gone With the Wind, and it's absolutely wonderful! ^______^ I just love it!!! *folds hands in a prayer-like position* It's really romantic, and painful.. *gets swept away by the movie* Uh, okay.. Well, you should see it sometime, I'm planning on seeing it again. My friend has a copy of it. But you know what the weird thing is? When we watched it at her house, I was all giddy for it, but then when it was actually on, it didn't seem that good.. I mean, it's good, but a bit on the boring side. I don't know why I suddenly feel the total opposite for it now. I want to get the book too! We did the book report on The Outsiders (really good book, read it sometime!), and it mentioned a bit about the book, Gone With The Wind. About dashing soldiers fighting for their family, and all that. *sigh* But the movie just ended then and there, without telling us more about if Scarlet and Red (? think that's how you spell it, weird name..) ever got back together.
I'm not going to write what I just wrote in here few minutes ago, cause that'll just waste time, and kill me. I might at a later time. I'll just show you the blinkies I made. Don't steal them!
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 1:12 am
Soo happy!!
Date: 12/27/02Time: 11:01 pm
Current Mood: Happy but Painful
Current Song: None
*squeals* I'm soo happy today!! I finally made a blinkie! Yep, and it's kawaii, well sort of. It would be better with a pixel next to it or something..
I went shopping today, with my mother and brother. My littlest brother didn't go. We bought lots of clothes today, and I almost finished my Christmas shopping. Still have a few, but it's less than five! We didn't buy too many food though.. We're going to eat steak tonight!! ^__^ Yummy... *rubs tummy* (hey, that rhymes!)
I watched Ice Age tonight. My brothers ordered it, without permission. *wags fingers at them* Naughty, naughty brothers..
Okay, I don't feel like myself again. Maybe, it's the neck? You know what's weird? Almost everything happens at the 27th. On October 27, about two or three sites were born. November 27, I can't exactly remember. But, today, OUAT is born. Weird, eh? It's a clique, that you'll find more about, soon enough.
Well, I'm not going to write/talk more. I feel tired...
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 11:10
Merry Belated Christmas!
Date: 12/26/02Time: 6:23 pm
Current Mood: Sick and green
Current Song: None
Well, Merry Belated Christmas. Ai, I had a Christmas disaster yesterday though. It wasn't fun. In the morning, and afternoon, my brothers went to my cousins house (I bet they had a wonderful time, humph!), and my mom went to work. Leaving only my dad, and I. But my dad was focus on working and only working. So, the house was pretty quiet. What a Christmas.. *sigh* So, I worked a bit on my sites, and watched a lot of TV, and slept. And when I woke up, I had a terrible headache. I thought that taking a bath, who stop the headache, but I felt like throwing up in the middle of it. But, fortunately, I didn't throw up, but it killed me.
When my mom came home, she immediately went to making dinner, leaving me alone, on the couch, with a terrible headache. *sobs* Ai, and my cousins came, and my aunts and uncles.. They are so loud! Humph, I wish I had an earplug or something. Well, I didn't eat dinner, only some soup (felt like throwing up..). That's not a good thing. I barely eat all my meals now. Especially breakfast. And I either sleep too much or sleep too little. One day, I'm going to regret that, not that I'm not regreting that now.
At least, I ate something in the end. I slept, and when I woke up, my headache was slowly disappearing. My dad said I got a headache because I sleep too much.. It's ironic, really.
I think I like last year's Christmas better..
Anyhow, I'll write more maybe later today, or tomorrow. I'm going down to watch show! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 6:38 pm
No more moods
Date: 12/22/02Time: 5:42 pm
Current Mood: Dead
Current Song: For Always (Duet)
If you're wondering why there isn't any any more of the mood thingies, it's because I killed them. Yep, they didn't work out as I though they would. Well, I finally got PSP! ^__^ I am such a happy person. Hehe, I tried making some blinkies, and layouts, but I got confused. -_-' Ne c'est pas my fault! I blame it on- on.. *looks around franctically* uh, my brothers? However I finally understood about the flood thingy. I mean, I was curious on how people were able to do those stuffies, but I understand.
I revamped the G-bookie, but the image won't work. *sigh* So, I'm trying to find what I did wrong, hopefully, I'll find the problem soon. And I added stuffies here, as you may notice.. or not. I'm thinking about making separate pages to put my entries by months. Good idea? But then, if I add anything to the right column, I'll have to go to all the pages and do that. Which, let me say, I'm not looking forward to doing. I'm having a headache already. Luckily, there's no school tomorrow.
I'm currently yelling at my brothers to stop the vacuming. Arrgh! I'm going downstairs for a sec..
Gone @ 5:54 PM : Came back @ 6:05 PM
Not to be mean, or anything, but sometimes my brothers are brats (lack of a better word). Well, anyway, I'm trying to find good songs so I can put some on my sites. Maybe LFE, or DS, depends. I'm going to go now, really tired and all that.
Fanfic to Read: Business Arrangement by DKnight02. It's a really good, and funny story.
Site to See: Passionate. It's a blog, but a really interesting one.
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 6:27 pm
Not fair!
Date: 12/21/02Time: 1:42 pm
Current Mood:
Current Song: None
Arrgh! It's so not fair! *mad face* I just visited some graphic sites today, and they're down. Out of 12 , five's down. Which is edging close to half of the graphics there were before. Not fair! Humph.
People are soo.. Well, anyway, I just had a test today, it was pretty easy. I don't have too much to tell today. Just going to go, and work more on fics.
Fanfic to Read: HIs Wife by Kawaii Chibi Megami. It's really interesting, but there's one a chapter to read.
Site to See: Jewel. A Bijou site. The layout is really appealing to the eye, it's soft and cuddly! ^_^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 1:50 pm
Testing
Date: 12/20/02Time: 10:18 pm
Current Mood:
Current Song: None
Testing, testing...
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 10:26 pm
HAPPY!!! ^__^
Date: 12/20/02Time: 6:13 pm
Current Mood: Happy, Joyful, Ecstatic, Delighted, Cheery, Jovial, Blissful...
Current Song: Pretty Boy
I feel so happy today! ^__^ Photoshop finally works for me, and I basically finished all my sites! Well, except for the ones under construction, but I think I'll be able to get it done sooner or later.
We had a talent assembly, pizza party, and dance today. The Talent Assembly was pretty much a success. Our friends, were really wonderful dancers. They got standing ovations! *huge smile* And it was pretty long, but enjoyable. The pizza wasn't that good though. *whispers* I think those pizzas are made of plastic or something! And, the dance, I didn't go. I stayed at the library with Shadowcat and Ashley-chan. I finally revealed the site address. Yep, and I got praises! ^__^ *ego swell* It's understandable that my ego would swell, I did finish about 4 sites in the span of about 3 months. Which, might I add, I'm proud of.
I also gave presents to the teachers. Our Science teacher is gonna have a baby! ^__^ I wonder if it'll be kawaii or not, not that babies won't be kawaii when they're born. Actually, they'll just be red and bloody, cause they were just born. *tries to imagine (turns green)*
Anyhow, I can finally take a breathe of fresh air, and update whenever I want to, or work whenever I want to. Now, that the sites are basically finished. I don't even want to think about the next layout. But I might work on another project that I marked down. Perhaps, I'll work on Destiny's Comeback, a crossover directory. A thought.
I'm going to end this happy entry now! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 6:49 pm
Back hurts >_<
Date: 12/13/02Time: 10:49 pm
Current Mood: Dead..
Current Song: Bounce With Me
My back hurts.. *whines* It hurts a lot!! Well today's Friday the thirteenth *said all spookily* Afraid? Aww, you guys are suppose to be scared! Humph!
Well, I completely finished BSR. Well, until I need to update it and all that. And I also fixed up some problems for LFE. You know, it seemed that all along, the stationaries didn't show, because I spelt it 'scr', instead of 'src'! I just found that out today, I can't believe that! Hmm, what else.. I also updated Ashley-chan's 'Legend of the Blue Eyes White Dragon'. It's really good, but it killed me! My neck hurts as well as my fingers for typing too many br.
I don't like today. *chuckles* I don't like any days, well except for Sunday. We had to present our dance again. *sigh* I don't like dancing, well I do. Or did. But I'm more use to the ones I did at my old school. I think it's folk dance or something. Really, really fun. Anyway, other than that, we had to do our Science presentation, and our drama act. I knew we were going to go first. Kinda like a gut feeling or something.
I think drama's okay, really! You get this feeling on stage, and it's, well... Yeah, but it's sometimes really embarrasing.
Dinner, bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 11:07 pm
Photoshop!!!
Date: 12/08/02Time: 7:54 pm
Current Mood: Happy but Angry *mean face*
Current Song: None
I got Photoshop!!!! Yay! Happy me, lucky me, HAPPY ME!!! ^_^' *scowls suddenly* But there's something wrong with the file transfer. *sobs* Not fair... *sobs louder* NOT FAIR!!! *cries*
Arrgh! I hate life! *said with hatred* Anyhow, though I'm really upset (it took weeks to get it!) life still goes on. Leaving me behind wanting to kill it's back as it walks away. *stakes a stake at the back of life* *looks around innocently and whistles*
Well, went to the library today to work on Science project. Somehow, for some reason I think we're gonna fail. *groans* Not a good thing indeed. We're also doing a puppet thingy. *sigh* The life of me.
Our French class is going to Pizza Hut of buffet, and our homeroom class is going to Chinese buffet for buffet. Cool, huh?! Hehe, well, I'm excited. I love eating. Found that all this year. Must be cause of lobster or something. Maybe lack of restaurants to go to? Back in my hometown, we would go to restaurants at least 5 times each month, maybe more. There would be even times when the whole family from my mother's side get together to eat together (rhymes ^^;;) Yeah, and that's a lot. My mother has like 8 or 9 brothers and sisters, same with my dad. My mother said that her mother loved children so they got lots. Luckily they had lots of money, to be able to feed and care for so many children.
I'm not so sure about my dad's parents. I've never really met them, mabye as a baby or something. I don't know, they passed away. But that family is equally as big as the other. Last year on New Years, my dad's side's whole family got together and celebrate. It was soo crowded, but fun. I got to see my favorite cousin, and her daughters. I also saw my nephew!! He's so cute! ^_^ And same with my nieces. So adorable! *huge smile* Not to mention the countdown, it was exciting. Too bad, we couldn't go there this year. Have to stay home. *pouts*
So, there's not going to be a party. I wanted to have it so badly, even though I know it's going to be hard to finish that project. Sometime last week, I think, I just... When I thought of it, there isn't this excited feeling surfing up. It's just.. not there. Maybe I've lost interest in it. You know, that's the problem with me. I want to finish something up, but can't. Whatever I started would just be thrown away to the corner of the room and left there until I can find courage or something to work on it. Just once, I want to be able to finish something, that could give me a complete satisfaction of it.
Anyway, I laughed soo hard at the library. Maybe very loud. I'm surprised the librarian didn't kick us out or something. I like this library better than the other one, that's a bit closer to my house. It's bigger, and when the library closes, and your father isn't here yet to pick you up, you could wait outside of it. (The library is inside a building) It's different from the other one.
I had an arguement with my mom on like Friday. I think she was really, really mad at me. She kinda ignored me.. But everything was about alright yesterday. We kinda laughed and all that. I don't want to be alone, you know. It's just.. so lonely.
I'm going to close this, talking to a friend on MSN.
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:51 pm
Sickly.. X_X
Date: 12/03/02Time: 8:04 pm
Current Mood: Tired and sick
Current Song: O Christmas Tree
I feel so sicky.. *yawns* and tired. Well, I didn't see the movie yesterday. Didn't exactly know where it was. Pretty sad, but I might see it again, with a friend/friends next week or something.
Anyhow, kind of a lot homework today.. I don't exactly feel like writing/talking. I'll just end this now. Bai bai..
Yuki Kamitoki slowly drifted away @ 8:14 pm
Scanner!! Wahoo!!
Date: 12/01/02Time: 3:27/5:42 pm
Current Mood: Elated!!!!
Current Song: Phantom of the Opera
I finally got a scanner!!! I'm soooo happy!!! I feel as if I'm on cloud nine. And two graphic programes came with it. Now I could make those kind of buttons, that the colors could change. So, so, happy.
Anyhow, I got my report card on Friday. It was pretty okay. I just did bad on the LA oral visual communication. But it doesn't really matter.
This just proves that Sundays are the best! I love Sundays. Well, I also got this program that teaches you 76 languages. I'm looking forward to using it sometime now. The only thing left is to get the PhotoShop, and for sure I'll be on cloud nine, if I'm not on it now.
I was also going to get the Final Fantasy DVD, but didn't. I hope I'll get it soon enough. Well, we're going to watch the Harry Potter movie tomorrow. Still don't have enough information about it yet. My brothers might go. Depending on if they did finish their homework yet.
Early in the morning today (12 to 2) I watched this movie called Needing You. Starring Andy Lau and Sammi Cheng. It's pretty interesting and funny. I wonder if those two are really a couple or were. Maybe good friends?
I'm trying to get my Christmas fic together. I got some of the basic outlines in it. I want to make this a Usagi/Squall fic. Getting crazed for those now. It's going to be an alternative reality. It'll take some elements from this show on 8:30. Hopefully, I'll get some inspiration and be able to get far on that fic. I really want to do a Christmas fic. And have it finished. *wonders if that'll come true*
I feel so unmotivated these days. In fics, and writing assignments. I want that fire back!! *sigh* Life is so unfair.
I'll stop my ranting now. Or I'm going to go depressed, and all that. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 5:59 pm
Another layout
Date: 11/28/02Time: 7:58 pm
Current Mood: Tired
Current Song: None
Yep, another layout. Not my fault! The last one, wouldn't let me write more in it *pouts*. Well, Version 2 came fast enough, not even one month had passed by yet, since FW was first opened.. Oh well.
Anyhow, I don't like Fridays much. But, there is Choir tomorrow. Ai, I don't feel like myself again. Wonder if it's the lack of sleep? *yawns*
Well, once again, ignore my sudden change of subjects..
I'm bored.. I don't like my Math teacher that much. They give us too much homework. You hear teachers say that if you work on homework for more than 2 hours, you could stop, and not do it. Since, doing homework for so long, can kill your brain.
I want a scanner.. I wanted it since forever. We were gonna get it on Monday, but for some insane reason, I wanted a printer/scanner/faxer/copier combined. So, I didn't get my scanner. Life is just so not fair.
I don't want to write anymore. I don't feel like it, anyway. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 8:17 pm
Bored..
Date: 11/26/02Time: 11:29 pm
Current Mood: Hungry *stomach growls*
Current Song: Shaolin Soccer
Bored. Is it just me, or is it that I almost always have that word in each entry I make? *shrugs* Oh well. Anyway, just had an arguement with my mom. Sometimes, I really hate life. It could just treat you so well, then throw you away without a second thought.
Well, I worked more on BSR. Added another section. And finished two pages in it. I'm almost done that website, just at the tip of my finger. I don't feel exactly like myself today, so ignore the sudden switch of subjects, and yeah.
My brother killed his foot on Sunday. Jumping around and all that. He didn't have to go to school for two days now. Lucky him. Not fair. Well, I went to see my grade 6 teacher. We decided we're going to see Harry Potter 2 on Dec. 2. Along, with the class from that year. Many have already seen the movie. Not fair. It seems like I'm the only one who hasn't. Humph.
We're going to get our report cards this Friday. Kinda excited about it, but then not really. I don't think I'm going to get a good mark in Art. For one, I can't draw, and don't draw. Oh! We're doing a stain glass. I chose to do a dolphin. It's so cute! But, I think I messed up when I drew it on the glass. I was going to draw Tare Panda. (it's sooo kawaii!!) But I didn't. I'll probably do it for the next art project or something.
We started a bit on the website for computer club. I chose to focus on LA(surprise, surprise!!), for the subject. I love writing and all that. It's fun, and you could express yourself.
On Christmas break, I might have a party. A grade 6 reunion/Christmas party/farewell party altogether. So I'm killing three birds in one stone! ^_^ But I haven't exactly ask my parents if we could have it at our house. I haven't found a right time yet. Besides, they're kinda mad at me. Anyway, I made a bet thingy with a friend today, that if I could have it at my house, she'll give me 6 chocolates!! *eyes go starry* I love chocolates!! Hehe.
My neck hurts..
I'm going to stop. My back and neck hurts. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 11:49 pm
Another layout
Date: 11/24/02Time: 2:37 pm
Current Mood: Happy!!
Current Song: None
Yes! Another layout for FW! I love Digi Charat! They're sooo cute!! Hehe, well, I decided to change the layout on my birthday. Yep, it's my birthday today. But I'm not so happy I guess. I don't know why, maybe I just don't like the age I'm turning to. Anyhow, I'm not going to write much in here, cause I need to fix some stuff in BSR. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki danced @ 3:03 pm
Ears hurt T_T
Date: 11/14/02Time: 10:34
Current Mood: Itchy and painful
Current Song: Girl in Your Dreams
My ears hurt!! They itch, not fair! Maybe it's the earrings *glares at them, er tries to at least* Maybe I'm allergic to them or something, but they're so kawaii! They're dolphins, aren't dolphins so adorable? They bring in the image of playfulness.
Soo, I'm bored. I'm always bored aren't I? I don't like today. I had a stomach ache, and worst, someone had to anger me. You know that stupid-guy-that-doesn't-sit-next-to-me-in-Science-but-is-still-a-bum? Yeah, that one, he had to push me when we were leaving the class, making my books drop on the ground. And he had the nerve to try and trip we, down the stairs as well. I really hate him, I never ever really hate anyone in my life before, but now I do. And it's that guy. He actually hit my toe with a wood, from DT! And I didn't even kill him when his back was turned away from me, I had the chance, but I didn't. I don't see any reason in that. If I have the perfect chance, I'll trip him or something, and it's a promise I plan to keep, unless something important comes up and all that.
I joined the Computer club yesterday. I want to learn more about HTML and web designing, which will be provided there. And I'll get a chance to learn more about PSP and the scanner. So when I do get it (which I hope so *nudge, nudge, hint, hint*) it'll be easier to use. We're working on a project involving education stuffies. We have to make a website focusing on one subject that could be assess world wide, and we get to earn the school from $300 to $10 000. It's pretty fun.
I'm ending this now. I need to finish up my essay. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 11:06 pm
BORED!!!
Date: 11/12/02Time: 6:12
Current Mood: Bored
Current Song: Fly Me to the Moon
Let me give you a word, if you ask me how I feel right now. If you aren't well tough luck. I'M BORED!!! So, that was two words, I don't care, you care? Arrgh, I feel so lazy.. Though I do feel lazy pretty much everyday, -_-'. Well, I had a good day. But you know what? Now that that stupid-guy-that-sits-next-to-me-in-Science is not next to me anymore there's another guy that's bothering me again! I should give him a name too, how about 'that-stupid-guy-that-sits-on-my-right-in-Science-is-a-bum'? Hmm, long, but pretty good. Why am I surrounded by people like that? Tch, I don't need an answer, I think I know why. Cause I did something back in my past life. That's probably the reason my life is so messed up.
Well, I went to a restaurant yesterday. Called Jade Land, it's pretty good. I finally got some lobster to eat, finally!! ^__^ Yep, and I also got to eat that sweet and sour chicken, mmm, I love it! I'm not that crazy for lobster anymore, maybe at least a little, but not that much. I'm more for the sweet and sour chicken. You gotta try it some time, you'll love it!!
Which brings me to French. We're opening a restaurant in French. Called Bittersweet Sunset. Lovely name isn't it? I kinda made it, with inspiration from my partners. That project cost me many hours of sleep, you know? It's pretty tiring, but I love to work on it. I don't know why though, I could probably think of many reasons why not but not why. There's just that special feeling. Well, there I got feeling mushy. Probably my life goal or something.
Anyhow, yesterday, my Science teacher was talking about diseases and the Black Death. The Black Death interests me somehow, not that so many people died was interesting, I dont' know what. I saw a show long time ago, having to do a bit on the Black Death. There's like these teenagers, who somehow could go back to the past at the time of the Black Death. And they were as some people there. They were trying to escape from the place where the Black Death thingy resided. I'm not sure if that's how it exactly went. Maybe I said it wrong. The most vivid scene I remember though, was of a girl and boy or girl girl (?) on the other side of a river/lake. While there's another guy on a boat trying to reach something... I don't know, my memory's kinda bad.
Well, when the Science teacher told us about it, she also said that it involved the Ring around the Rosie song. Quite frightening isn't it? That is involves an innocent child song. So, suddenly I thought a nightmare I had long time ago, before I moved. It was kinda like, well there wasn't any visual pictures or anything, it was just.. darkness. The room just suddenly got bigger, and it was like I wasn't really aware of what was going on, but then it seemed like I did. And there wasn't really any sound, just the silent tickings of seconds..
Eek, I don't know what I'm talking about. Enough of the dark thinking. That got me into thinking, that it would be a good idea for a fic. A girl will have memories of a past long time ago, taking time just before the Black Death. There she was engaged, and was going to get married, after her fiance came back from hunting or something. But then suddenly, the Black Death came, and killed many people. She was going to escaped, and she was close to until she was found out and was about to be taken back to wait for death. Her fiance received news of this and was going to save her. He thought up a plan and somehow foudn some way to give her the plan. She followed it, but someone found out. She quickly ran away, with many people trying to stop her. She was just about to escape, all that was left was the river. He was on the other side.
I'm going to talk about this later. Show coming up. BBL - 6:39 pm = 8:02 pm
Back. I'm bored. Well, I'm going to go off and find more sites to see, or work on LFE. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 8:09 pm
Neck hurts.. Kazaa.. Simple and Clean..
Date: 11/10/02Time: 9:23
Current Mood: Jumpy and Beaty --'
Current Song: Bounce With Me
The song is so jumpy!! But my neck hurts! Grr. I love Kazaa! It takes forever to download the songs though. Oh well, *shrugs* You know, there's many versions of the Simple and Clean song by Utada Hikaru. I mean, you know the new game out on PS2, the one called Dark Cloud or something? Whenever the commercial comes on, there'll be this song, that sounds a bit strange. Well I downloaded some of UK's songs today (Kingdom Heart, Simple and Clean) and they follow the same tunes pretty much, well at least the basic. Weird, eh?
I got to sleep late today. *happy smile* I love sleeping in, you get to relax and all that. My dad was on the computer early, early in the morning like 3 or something, but I though it was 4, cause my watch is like 1 hour later. I didn't change it, when there was the Daylight Savings Time. I don't know why, just didn't want to. I just remembered that I didn't close the computer down when I woke up, and then found out that my dad was on it. So I just thought 'Who cares'. Well, I did, but when you're sleepy, nothing is really there or matters for you. SO I slept on until 4 (i thought, it was acutally 3 -_-') and then I woke up again. Saw my dad at the computer went back to my cozy bed, was about to sleep, until I heard my mom come up the stairs. Then I thought that I should save the files that were finished being downloaded, before it was gone, and I had to download it again. So I did just that. Went back to sleep though after that and didn't really wake up for the hours later.
I'm not going to talk about what I ate for breakfast, since I did kinda promised not to say anything involving that topic, and I didn't really have much a breakfast.
I just started reading fanfics and such. Oh!! I read a really good fic today, actually make that fics. They were so good!! I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to write as good as them. *crosses arms* Not fair. One's called.. something. Oops! I guess I forgot the title.. ^^' But the sequel of it was Coming Home. The pre-sequel actually contain a really warm, sad letter. Telling about her sadness when her husband ignored her, and weren't happy with her. She thought that he didn't love her anymore, and that she failed her job as his wife. It's sooo sad! *grabs tissue, and sneezes into it* Arrgh! It makes me mad! Baka Trunks!! Anyhow, it was a great story.
The other good fics were by Angelight. I read It's Just Love!, and Picture This. Both are wonderful fics, and I'm still feeling fuzzy after reading it. It's so, so, magnificent! Read it sometime!
Anyhow, I'm going to end this. I wanna eat dinner now. See you sooner or later! Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ some time
ANGRY!!!
Date: 11/03/02Time: 1:04
Current Mood: Angry
Current Song: A song by Edison Chen
Arrgh! I'm angry! Really angry!!! *red, livid face* What I wrote here was deleted!!! Wahhh!!!!!!!!!! I hate life!!! Humph, *crosses arms* stupid bloggy, stupid geocities, stupid me!!! I wanna kill someone. *readers back away* Can I kill you? *hopeful look* Please! Please with a cherry on top and a chocolate on top of that, and lifesavers, and sprinklies, and- I'm hungry! Can I eat you, please, pweese?!!! *readers back away even more* Ya know what? I don't want to eat you! You guys must taste bad! *readers look happy but insulted*
Anyhow, I'll talk about life while I try to supress my hunger. I love Hamtaro, do you? Do you?! *readers nod quickly when seeing Yuki's angry face* Yay! I love Hamtaro, he's so cute and cuddly, and KAWAII!!! Hehe, I just took a ham ham test to see who I am. (Rhyming sentece, sugoi!) Guess who I got! Guess, I said GUESS!! Bijou? Nope, she's kawaii too, but it wasn't her. She was at the 5th place. Pashmina... hmm, you're really close! She was in 2nd place! Now, last guess! Snoozer, aw, he's a sleepy cutie! He's in 3rd I think. You had your three chances, now the ham ham I am, is *drum roll* HAMTARO!!! Yay, I got Hamtaro! *dances to the Hamtaro theme song*
I was going to post it up here, but I couldn't. Maybe later on, or something.
I'm going to go now, hungry, and my internet isn't working that well. So bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 1:56 pm
Have to go soon
Date: 11/02/02Time: 1:35
Current Mood: Anxious
Current Song: Some song from a site
Hey minna-chan!! ^_^ Well I'm not going to write/talk that much. I have to go in like 5, 10 minutes. Going to the library to work on a French project with friends. But the CCS Movie is going to be on when I'm not here! It's so not fair. Why can't I have channel 48 and 51 back, huh? Why can't I watch the CCS Movie, huh? Why can't I watch what I want, huh? And while I'm on what I can't have rampage, why can't I have a scanner, and a playstation, and Final Fantasy games, and a laptop, and a telephone line, and new cds, and new books, and a new library card cause I can't find mine, -_-'. I am such a wanty person. Well, I don't even need half of what I said, just the scanner, library card, new books, telephone line, new cds, playstation and Final Fantasy games... Okay, so maybe that's more than half. Ai, life is just so unfair!!
I don't like today's morning. I had to get up early to wash my hair, and somehow got a cold on the way. -_-' Don't even know how I got a cold, I used hot water, and the windows weren't open, neither was the air conditioner. BUt, arrgh! I hate colds. They kill your nose and make you all choke up inside, then they kill your throat, so talking is a bit hard, and my eyes! It felt like they were poison or something. Fortunately after I took a shower, I went to sleep since it was still early. When I woke up, I was better than before. Lucky me! ^^
You know what the weird thing is? Whenever I get a cold, I usually get hit by a ball before. Like one day, few weeks ago, I got hit by a basketball in the nose, T_T. And the next day I got a cold. Usually, it'll only be here to hang around for like one to one week. Then bye-bye cold! It flew out the window and into another person. Of course I feel pity for the person, okay, so maybe not, but there's still a little! You want me to be sad that I don't have a cold anymore?
Sure, I like missing school, but then the next day you'll have piles of homework waiting to be done. And you also get a really mean cold! And your body feels so numb, and after countless of tissues, your nose will hurt. And so on.
Anyway, I'm going to go now. I have to call my uncle to bring me to the library. See you soon! Bai bai! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 1:50 pm
Bah hallbug!
Date: 10/31/02Time: 8:20
Mood: Angry but Happy
Music: Big World
Ai, bah hallbug! Halloween isn't on my happy list anymore. Arrgh! I just hate today. First I had to look for some animal pics for Art, which I forgot to do the night before, so I had to do it in the morning. Then I got late cause of it, and was sent to the office. Where I had to wait like forever to see the teacher. Luckily it was my first time really late in the year, so I didn't have to do community service. Everything was going okay after that I suppose. Then at lunch, a certain friend just had to tell another certain friend to flick my hair. Okay, that was okay, flicking isn't that bad. BUt they had to pull my elastic off!!! When my hair's up in any way, I do not like it down or flicked in any way! Not that I liked it flicked when it's down anyway.
I'll be back later on, gotta go watch favorite show. BBL - 8:31 pm
Hey people! I'm back! Hehe, okay, I'm not that angry anymore. My cold is gone, but I think my Art mark is going down. T_T Not fair!
Anyhow, my cousins came today to give us Halloween treats, cause we weren't going to trick-or-treat. They left ten minutes after though. I got lots of gum!! I love gum, not that much than cookies though, but that's okay.
I just received an e-mail from Greeting Wishes from some guy named Tom. He said something about getting a grant for me. It was pretty weird. But I'm sure I'll forget all about it probably by tomorrow. But really, he sounds so strange. Kinda like he knows me or something. You know what? I think I'm going to delete it. Kay, it's deleted.
I'm going to cut this short. I want to work more on ADR. Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 9:42
Tuesdays are almost good days, but Sundays are best
Date: 10/29/02Time: 7:43
Mood: Weird... @_@
Music: I'm Alive
Tuesday, are almost good days. I mean, I get the house to myself, since my brothers are going swimming and all that. Mondays aren't always that good really. It's the begining of a new week. And Wednesdays are okay. Thursday are so-so, Fridays are wonderful, except that's the day before school on Saturday, and I hafta study for the test that always took place then. Not fair. So far, I like Sunday best. But they're the last day of the week.
Anyways, I'm really angry or was today. There's this guy that sits beside me at Science, and he annoys me so much that I want to strangle him. It's a good idea, either that, or trip him when he comes near. Hmm, maybe I should do that. Kay, so other than that stupid-guy-that-sits-next-to-me-in-Science, that day was pretty okay.
Well, I'll just end this entry. I want to work more on the layout for LFE first. Oh, and I'm going to add a 'Fanfic to Read' and a 'Site to See' for each entry. This entry will be:
Fanfic to Read: Burning Rose by SilverQuick. It's so funny! And it's wacky as well. You should read it, if you want something to make you laugh!
Site to See: Hmm, Day Dream Graphics for sure! Snow White is the creator of the site, and there's many layouts you could download there. ^_^
Bai bai!! ^__^
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ 9:39 pm
First layout for Dancing Stars!!
Date: 10/27/02Time: Uh, forgot
Mood: Happie!!!
Music: Some kind of lao song
I actually uploaded my first layout ever for Dancing Stars! I'm so happyyy!!! No, I'm not insane, if that's what you think, actually I'm not that far from it, but not close either. It's just I actually and finally worked on my site, and it's so hard to believe. Don't you think it's hard to believe? Okay... maybe you don't. Well, who cares?! All I'm glad is that I got back internet, I could finally write some fics, I could actually work on the site, and my grades are improving! Not that they were below the feet, just that I wasn't doing as well as I did before. But it's better now. Life is fair these days, but I'm sure that a while later it'll turn opposite and I'm left to hang onto the shreds of fairness. If I could that is.
*clap hands* I don't know why I always clap my hands now. Just really started to during the time we had the Music test. We had to clap our hands to the notes written on the board. It's kinda, but not that kinda fun. At least it gave us spare time to do other things.
Anyhoow... what was I going to say? *thoughtful look* Oh yeah! We had a dance on Friday. Whole afternoon, nothing to do. Really bored. I thought that dances were suppose to be cool or something, but the one at our school wasn't that cool. The music wasn't that good, it was too loud, that I was sure my ears would fall of, and ect. Ai, that kinda changed my view of dances for now, maybe it'll be different months later, I don't know.
So far today was okay, I suppose. I had cousins over, they were playing nintendo and all that. But lunch was delayed until like 3 or 4 o'clock. Cause my uncle's restaurant was too busy that he couldn't send lunch on time. Boy, was I hungry!! Of course I didn't jump onto the food like a wolf, wait, no, maybe a leopard?
I like wolves. They have different sides that usually people like us, cannot really understand. I find them the symbol of courage and bravery. The Sight is a really wonderful book about wolves in Pennslyvania, as well as Blood and Chocolate. Those two books are really good, you should read it.
Anyway, I'm just gonna wrap this up. I'm kinda tired. So bai bai!!
Yuki Kamitoki laughed @ some time (-_-')
Reflection..
Version: 6Series: N/A
Credit: Myako for tutorial on borders
Last Updated: 01/17/04
Version 2: Sin's Fate
Version 3: Childhood Bliss
Version 4: I'll Dance for You
Version 5: Hold Me Tight
About FW/Versions
Version 1: Consisted of a wallpaper of Ran/Aya, from Aya & Raiha-chan's Weiß Kreuz Page. It didn't last for a month, but I really thought that it was a good layout, even if there wasn't much work done on it.
October 27, 2002 to November 24, 2002
Version 1.5: A kawaii Digi Charat layout found somewhere. Yet again, the layout didn't really work for me. It didn't allow me to continue blogging, because the columns couldn't extend. It would either not show what I wrote, or show half of what I wrote one day, and the other half another day. *sigh* So, I had to look for another layout. One that would suit the blog and me perfectly or close to fine.
November 24, 2002 to November 28, 2002
Version 2: Sin's Fate, was found at Beautiful Pain, a fabulous graphic site. The layout reminded me, or rather the name reminded me of Shadowcat. The names are pretty similar and all that.
November 28, 2002 to February 28, 2003
Version 3: Childhood Bliss, a very pinkish layout whose picture came from an amazing site called Peeping Po. This is my first layout that I really made, and looks pretty good for FW. Hopefully, I'll be able to make more better ones soon.
February 28, 2003 to May 9, 2003
Version 4: I'll Dance for You, is inspired by Mikomi's layout, Surreal. I hafta say, the words idea was taken from her, and the layout idea, I guess. Sad. I have no creativity.. >_< But anyhow. I think I won't use pink for a layout for a long, long time. Considering the last version was pink as well. o_O
May 9, 2003 to August 20, 2003
Version 5: Hold Me Tight, shows of what new things I've learnt recently (adding shapes (if you look very close, you could see the faint outlines of hectagons and squares), using dodge and burn, erasing parts of the picture that I didn't need, etc.) I even figured out how to fix the font into the way I imagined it.
August 20, 2003 to January 17, 2004
Now, why I named this blog 'Fantasy Wishes', is still unknown to me. *sweatdrop* I'm not sure if the name flows together, but I like it. It was originally 'Fantasy's Wishes'. (That flows more easily..), but I changed it for some completely unknown reason, yet. Anyway, when I do know the answer, I'll be sure to write it down.
About this layout
Version 6: Reflection, is most definitely inspired by Myako and her style. The borders behind the pic, is from a tutorial of hers; looks pretty good and swirly doesn't it? @_@ Anyways.The layout's pretty simple, not much complicated techniques. The only thing I find kinda out of characters and stuffs, is that the pic doesn't have any exact softening border around it, so it looks a bit strange...
Yuki Kamitoki..
Vital Stats..Name: Yuki Kamitoki
Aliases/Nicknames: Yuki-chan, Erea, Jo-chan (-_-')
D.O.B: 11/24
Sign/Zodiac: Sagittarus/Snake
Ethnicity: Chinese
Likes: Animes/mangas/games, stuffed animals, chocolates, ice-cream, lobsters, babies, web-designing
Dislikes: Self-center people, racism/discrimination, being late/waiting for someone for a long time, getting a cold (grrr), bugs, pain
Personality: really hyper at times; feels childlish; need distance between self and people; unknowningly is mean; many idealistic dreams; strange; at rare times, thoughtful; forever forgetful; easily depress
Hobbies: Reading, writing, singing, swimming, making graphics, dancing, eating, listening to music, web-designing
Animes, Mangas, Games: Cardcaptor Sakura, Final Fantasy Tactics, Chobits, .hack//SIGN, Full Moon Wo Sagashite
Pairings:
Crossover - Usagi/Hiiro, Usagi/Mirai Trunks, Usagi/Ranma, Usagi/Tamahome, Usagi/Hotohori, Usagi/Nakago, Usagi/Aya, Usagi/Nagi, Usagi/Yuki, Usagi/Yue, Usagi/Touya, Usagi/Squall, Usagi/Cloud, Usagi/Allen, Usagi/Folkien, Usagi/Kenshin
Non-crossover - Sakura/Syaoran, Hitomi/Van, Tomoyo/Eriol, Chii/Hideki, Subaru/Tsukasa
Singers, Actors/Actresses: Jay Chou, Fly to the Sky, JTL, Shinhwa, BoA, Kim Jae Won, Kim Hyo-Jin, Kim Rae Won, Chae Jung Ahn, Kenix Kwok, Eason Chan, Baby Vox, S.H.E
Contact: Hotmail, Yahoo
MSN: Kirei Tenshi
Sites..
Bitter Sweet Reviews (WPR)Contemplative (MP3)
Dancing Stars (Collective)
Deep River (Fic Log)
Fantasy Wishes (Blog)
Love for Eternity (Crossover)
Secrets Behind (Group Blog)
Unable to Speak (Personal Writing)
Projects..
A Dream's Desire (Ran shrine)
Dangers of the Heart/Kirei Rakka (Graphics)
Destiny's Comeback (Crossover directory)
Dreams Come True (Fanfic + Fanart)
Fanfictions (Fanfictions)
Given Candy (Hamtaro shrine)
Currently..
Crave for: inspirationDesire for: ice-cream
Dream of: finishing all my fics
Eating: nothing
Enjoy to: read
Fond of: Anthony!!!
Have to: exercise (bleeeeeeh)
Hope for: happiness
Lack of: sleep
Like to: work on content for sites
Live for: dreams.. *sweatdrop*
Need to: finish Math review
Neglect to: write
Obsessed with: eating ^^;;;
Plan to: get mp3 site up
Supportive of: CCS
Tend to: forget to eat
Thinking of: how lazy i am
Want to: go study aboard
Wish for: puppies!! golden retrievers!
Mood:
Desktop:
December 2003 - ??
Random Playlist..
01. River - Gundam Seed02. A Better Day - JTL
03. Rock with You - BOA
04. Egotism - Shinhwa and Baby Vox
05. Shiawase no Hyougen ~Feat. Joanne - GABALL
06. Kame - Amano Tsukiko
07. Let Go Completely - Gigi Leung
08. Oh Neul Dda La - Lee Hyo Ri
09. The Rose - Kuraki Mai
10. Alchemy of Love - Megumi Hayashibara
11. Melodies of Life - Black Eyed Peas
12. Haru Uta ~Kururu~ - Kururu
13. Crazy 4 U - Koda Kumi
14. The Shooting Star - Cyber X feat.YURI
15. Eternal Snow - Full Moon wo Sagashite
16. Bitch - Aikawa Nanase
17. Serenade (Piano Version) - Fruits Basket
18. Sleepless Beauty - (K.ITO + D.K)
19. Heaven (acoustic acapella) - DJ Sammy
20. Heyo Captin Jack - Captain Jack
21. Honjitsu wa seiten nari - Do As Infinity
22. How Crazy are You - Meja
23. Evenstar (Featuring Isabel Bayrakdarian) - Howard Shore
24. Ningentte Sonna Mono Ne - Kokia
25. Reflection - Vanessa Mae
Calender..
03/22/04: Back to school04/28/04: Shadowcat's B-day
05/09/04: Moon's B-day
Things to do../Wish for...
- make layouts for DS, DR- work on content for sites
- make more avatars (at least 100 by April)
- work on ADD, SL, and any other one-shots<
- read more books
- delete and download more songs
- exercise more each day (bleeeh..)
- finish Unit 9 review for Math
- do better for last term
- Chobits manga 8
- .hack//SIGN DVDs other than Volume 1 + 2
- tapes - a dog or puppy
- domain
- CDs (Weiss Kreuz Dramatic Precious 1, Fanntasy, Shades of Purple, A Taste of Honey, Snow Wolf Lake, Break Through, etc.)
Glomps..
Ashley-chan [how's life down there? you better've missed us!!!]Moon [heh, you know Shadowcat's pretty much right in assuming that there could be something between you and Teddy (the other usual teddy, not the teddy Teddy). ^_~]
Shadowcat [uhm, no matter what, even if i think that there could be something between Moon and Teddy, i'll still be the supporting you and Teddy all the way!! ^^;;;]
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