"Welcome to mah final set a bitches...Better crack open the window though, these two are past the sell-bah date!  Hope you enjoyed mah laydeees.  If you wanna rent one, go to the credits page...I'll be hangin' there, 'cos ah've just had a call off that fat ol' bitch Kate, she wants to meet me there...Anyhoo, later chile, and good lovin' to y'all!"

"I'll have you, you bastard, you just wait..."

The final...

Name : Tarbuck Age : 8   Most likely to say: "Yer me bessy mate, you are, but ah'll kill yer, I will."

Details : Tarbuck grew up in a stable family, but left at an early age to pursue her dream.  She wanted to be a rescue dog in the Alps, but her application was refused by the selection panel, who felt that she "just wasn't St. Bernard enough."  Stealing a keg of brandy on the way out, Tarbuck discovered she had a serious fondness for booze and it soon took over her life.  She can now be seen on the street corner dressed in her jester outfit, eyes glazed and wondering where her next bottle of 'Thunderbird' is coming from.  Nothing is out of bounds for this lady and she is credited with inventing the 'anal roll.'

Name : Tanya Luckyhole Age : 11   Most likely to say : "I'll be your rabbit, if you'll catch and eat me..."

Details : The notorious porn-bitch (here pictured in a still from the bestselling video "Clownin' Around") was one of the top-selling performers in the dog on dog film genre, but when her looks faded she hit the streets and began to whore for Mister Lubberman.  She LOVES it!  Tanya can't resist the crinkle of money under her collar and the hot breath of a Greyhound on the back of her neck.  "Greyhounds do it for me," she admits, "It's the legs, and the cocks of course!" she laughs.

"In fact, I'd do any Greyhound for free - Oh, you'd better not put that or I'll never heal!" she grins.  Her party trick is to sit down, raise her rear legs and drag herself skidding across the carpet.  She calls it 'The Franz Klammer.'

"That's ya lot...back to 'Whoredogs' you go..."