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"Be still, mah thumpin' tallywhacker!"

"Yeah I do, but it'll costya mate!"

Name : Helena di Boncoeur Age : 5 Most likely to say : "Ay would layke a bit orf rough...Bring me a mongrel immediately.  A big one.  Preferably with three legs...And a scabby face."

Details :

The haughty, knowing look tells you all you need to know about this sassy and self-assured lady, for lady she is, with Kennel Club references as long as your tail!  One of the few aristocrats with a self-professed love of whoring, this tyke certainly doesn't need the money (she has a split-level kennel and a string of 'best of breed' awards) - she whores because she LIKES it!  When the King Charles Spaniel saw this star at the Henley Regatta he couldn't help but sniff her arse there and then, despite the hordes of watching Pupparazzi.  This led to speculation that she might be the next Queen Bitch.  Who knows?  She's certainly the Queen of our pudendum, and also an Olympic standard rimmer.

Details : Carol was born into a large litter and is of Dutch descent, hence those big brown eyes.  A bright child, she eventually 'Went up' to Cambridge, earning a third class degree in Engineering ( the so-called 'boozer's degree').  Her love of Mathematics led to her becoming a presenter on 'Countdown,' the popular Channel 4 game show, which she still co-presents to this day, despite a burgeoning portfolio of television work.  Despite the high profile, she will still gladly raise her backside in the air and assume a frown of puzzled indifference, for money.

Name : Carol Vordermann Age : 41 Most likely to say : "Two from the top and one from the bottom?  Or shall I pull you off with my scabby mouth for a tenner?"

Please return me and my stonking horn to the main 'Whoredogs' page, please!