Summary: Love strikes when least expected
Feedback: Well, how else will I know what you think?
Disclaimer: The one's that are mine are MINE and the one's that aren't ... well I'm using them anyway.
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Have you ever been given something, something you'd always wanted, but when you received it, you just held it in your hands not really knowing what to do next? Have you ever just sat there and contemplated if this feeling rushing through you, this sense of wonder, of intrigue and of nervous apprehension, is actually better than the knowing that will happen once your present is opened? Well that's how I was feeling.
I could hardly believe we'd actually made it to the point of being on a date together. Well, I'm not sure he was even considering it to be one. I'd made such a point of stressing it was just two people having dinner at the time the arrangement was made it would be next to impossible for him to believe I'm thinking of this as a date, but I am. No matter by what pretence I'd enticed him here, in my mind this would always be our first date. I'd waited so long for this, waited ha! That is putting it a little too mildly. Pathetically pined more like. As I looked across at him I had the sudden fear, what if the pining would be better than the knowing? Then I looked into his eyes and knew unwrapping this wondrous package would be a delight.
It all started almost a year ago. I was picking my son up from an after school play date, don't tell him I called it that he's horrified at such a babyish term, "I don't 'play' mother! I'm 12!" Whenever he says things like that I smile that all knowing mother smile and make no comment about the items, of the toy variety, bulging out of his backpack. After all, it's only the young who feel they're too old to play. Anyway that's completely off topic. What is important to know is, I'd stressed I'd be picking him up at seven, and he'd better be ready and waiting or his life wouldn't be worth living.
I turned into the unfamiliar street and was scanning the numbers looking for the right house, when I spotted them sitting on a stoop. My son, his friend and a man I assumed had to be his friend's father, all staring intently at something in the man's hands. To this day I have no idea what it was he was holding, as my eyes were focused elsewhere. The man had looked up as I pulled to a stop, and well can I just say, YUMMY!! I'd always had a weakness for a man in glasses, he had such cute little wire frames on, and well the rest of the package certainly did the expression beefcake justice. There was a body I could happily get lost while exploring.
Of course to my misfortune my son had decided that day would be the first time ever he did as I asked him to. Yup he was up and into the car, wondering why I hadn't driven off, before I'd had time to wipe the drool off my chin. Why, why, why did he have to be ready when I arrived? Why didn't he make me have to go to the door, wait for twenty minutes (or years) while he finished whatever pointless thing he was doing? Why on earth did he decide to listen to his mother today of all days? Kids! They really do have no consideration sometimes.
I gave a little halfhearted wave to the man of my dreams as I drove off. I watched through the rear view mirror, a rear view that would be feeding some very frenzied dreams of mine for many months. I knew I had it bad when I thought 'my God nobody has ever climbed steps as sexily as that before!' I wanted to slam on the brakes and run towards him shrieking "Climb me! Climb me!" However I still had an ounce of restraint and so merely put my foot down and careened away from there before I lost the will to behave.
As I drove home I tried not to show any animosity towards my son, I love the little scoundrel, I really do! So I didn't make him scrub the bathroom clean with a toothbrush when we got home, even though I was sorely tempted to. His saving grace was the fact, by the time I parked the car, I'd had time to consider he'd probably saved me from having to watch that gorgeous specimen of manhood be fawned all over by a wife so perfect she'd make me look like ... well me.
I think Billy sensed something in my mood though because he made himself scarce before I'd even shut the front door. I don't remember baring my teeth and growling at him in the car, but then I don't remember much of anything other than the delightful way the cloth pulled taut over his ass as his leg raised to reach the higher step, those shoulders that went on for miles and the back just crying out for the scrape of my fingernails. Needless to say I was a little distracted that night. I barely even noticed the sweet taste of our meal until my son asked if I could put sugar on his vegetables more often.
By the next morning I'd somewhat come to my senses. I'd woken early with one thought running through my mind, why wasn't I pumping my son for information? So when he stumbled out for breakfast I immediately asked "So did you like Kendal's father?"
"Who?" he asked and I resisted the urge to wring his scrawny little neck.
"Kendal's father ... that was who was on the steps with you yesterday, wasn't it?"
"Oh yeah him ... he's ok I guess" he said and took his cereal in with him to watch Saturday morning cartoons.
His neck was saved by the phone ringing. Somewhere, as we speak, there is probably a long distance telephone operator still curled in a fetal position in fear. I was a little on edge and he shouldn't have called me before I'd had caffeine. That and I should have known better than to expect my son to help procure me a love life. Don't look at me like that, the reason the kid was clueless why I would ask such a question was, I don't date. His father and I tried to make a go of our marriage, but when we gave in to the inevitable, my life became about looking after my son. I don't know why this man was different but for the first time in seven years I felt maybe it was time I did something for me.
Unfortunately I'd been out of the game for so long I didn't know how one went about approaching someone. I wasn't even sure when push came to shove I'd have the nerve to approach him. The best pick up line doesn't guarantee the courage to use it but I didn't even have a line. All I knew was I needed a better opening then 'Hi, I saw you on the stoop and decided you'd be mine or I'd die trying.' Maybe it's just me but something about that comes off a little desperate don't you think? Well luckily or unluckily, it's a tough debate sometimes, a fair amount of time passed before I saw him again.
I'd had time to calm down, time to think reasonably and responsibly like the adult I'm struggling every day to be. I wasn't the nervous wreck who would probably pee her pants if she bumped into him in the street anymore. Nope the synapses he'd fried last time were working again. I was cool, calm, collected and most importantly, in control. I led Billy into the auditorium with the intention of sitting through and thoroughly enjoying the junior high concert. So what if there would be very little talent on display, what parent doesn't relish the chance to see their child perform? I knew none would be as good as mine but that wouldn't stop me sitting appreciatively through their acts too.
My son has the voice of an angel, except when he's moaning about how unfair life is, why can't he have a play station, John's mom lets him stay up however late he wants, and so on and so on and so on. I knew I'd gone to the other side the first time I answered him with 'when I was a child ...' and found myself exaggerating the poverty of our existence in a manner that would have had my grandfather proud. Anyway I've strayed again haven't I? Ok what I was meaning to say is, as I led Billy into the auditorium, who did I bump into but Kendal and his ... sob sob ... parents?
Billy and Kendal immediately ran off together, no thought to offering introductions to their respective parents. I probably should have just wandered off by myself, I mean it isn't that I didn't know anyone, I could see Julie waving like a maniac from the other side of the hall, but my feet wouldn't move. My hands had other ideas though, they couldn't be so close to perfection and not reach out and touch it. Oh don't worry I was well aware of the fact I was in a public situation and just held out my hand and introduced myself. He took it, and in a voice surprisingly gentle and melodic for such an impressive man, introduced himself as Eugene Young. He then broke my heart and introduced the woman as blah blah blah someone or other Young. I really wasn't paying attention at that stage. Although I did notice neither were wearing wedding rings and was hoping she might be a sister. Yes I was ignoring the fact I'd heard Kendal call her mom. He was excited, kids get confused, I could dream couldn't I?
We stood waiting together but with nothing to say. The only thing I could think to say, was to ask Eugene if he brought his glasses. Somehow I felt that would be considered a strange comment to make, so I kept quiet. Standing this close to him only intrigued me more. He had that feature that always attracted me to a man. Eyes that couldn't hide an inner sadness. My mother always said my sister was attracted to wild guys because in truth she wanted to tame them, while I brought home the broken ones with the hope of healing them. I don't think Eugene was broken, but he was definitely missing something. Oh yeah, ok I'll freely admit, I was so hoping that something would turn out to be me.
How could I not want to be the soother of his ills? Here was a man who could only be considered the embodiment of my fantasy man. Besides the superficial attraction of his looks, he also had a body to die for, looks, soul deep eyes, looks, was a devoted father, had good looks and well he was gorgeous. You could see the bond between he and Kendal and any man who would make the effort to come to one of these things was raised a notch in my estimation. Just looking at him I knew he was dedicated, methodical and proud. He wasn't dressed flashily, no GQ model attire for him, but he carried himself with an air I found incredibly arousing. He knew who he was and didn't need symbols of success to demonstrate that to others. God he was sexy ... and good looking. Anyway I'm getting a little distracted again so let me just say I wanted to fill the gaps in his life because I was sure as hell positive he could fill mine.
Luckily, before my distraction became too painfully obvious, it was announced the concert was ready to start. I somewhat reluctantly made my way over to Julie before she became really dotty and did something drastic to get my attention. Besides I needed her, she was my ally in these dreaded situations, the only one who could make the next two hours bearable, when she sets off on one of her rambling rose impersonations it's amazing how fast time can pass. Oh hang on I said I'd enjoy the concert earlier didn't I? I was trying to be kind, or to put it more bluntly, I lied. We sat at the back and Julie chatted away to me impervious to my distraction. For once I wasn't hanging on every word she said, in fact, although her mouth never stopped I heard nothing. I nodded and grunted as if listening to her and she seemed happy with that. Perhaps she assumed I was captivated by the entertainment, but what had my full interest, was the body sitting five rows in front of me.
I was pleased to note that Eugene barely spoke to his companion. There was a tension in their postures that suggested to me all wasn't smooth in their world. They held themselves so tightly as if afraid of crossing the other's boundaries. I wasn't proud of myself for being pleased about this, but then I've never claimed to be a saint. Finally the concert ended, I commiserated once more with Julie about her tearaway daughter Lisa then rose and made my way outside. I somehow managed to find myself standing near Eugene again. Purely for convenience sake. I knew Billy and Kendal would be together, so surely it's easier if their parents are too, right? Well the good thing is Eugene bought the excuse, or at least he didn't feel the need to question my motives. Maybe he appreciated having me as a buffer because I sensed he was happy to have me there. Not that we were a chatty bunch; I think in ten minutes a total of five words were exchanged between us. Thankfully the kids came and rescued the situation with their animation.
Too soon for my liking Kendal's mother said something about it being time to go. He turned to his father, gave him a hug as he said goodbye, then walked with his mother to their car. I looked at my son and he mouthed 'divorced' in explanation. I didn't whoop with delight or dance for joy, I was too busy holding myself back from ... well attaching myself to Eugene, like a leech with no intention of ever letting go.
Eugene said goodbye, it was nice meeting you and something complimentary about Billy's performance. I'm not sure what exactly as I was too fascinated with the motion of his mouth, and the thoughts it was inspiring, to listen to his words. I really didn't register much at all or respond with more than a non committal grunt until he turned to walk away. I noticed he'd begun to walk in the opposite direction of the cars and called out to offer a lift. He stopped walking, turned and thanked me, but assured me it wasn't necessary he was happy to walk.
While this wasn't the opportunity of a lifetime it was a pretty impressive one and I wasn't going to let it go. I stepped forward grabbed his arm and refused to take no for an answer. I told him not to talk such nonsense, his house is on my way home and it looks like it could rain any minute. My ever tactful son laughed saying "Mom it hasn't rained in forever there's no way it's going to tonight." I gave him my 'just you wait until we get home young man' stare which stopped him laughing quick smart. Turning back to Eugene I said "I insist!"
I'm not sure whether he was taking pity on me, or my look terrified him too but Eugene decided to accept my offer. To prove that the world sometimes conspires against you, the drive was totally uneventful. Not another car got in the way, no traffic lights turned red, we were there in front of his house before I'd had a chance to get used to the fact he was even in my car. We sat in silence for a moment. There was so much I wanted to say but I was hardly going to say it with my son squirming in the back seat wondering why his mother's turned insane. Eugene was there beside me, a chance I may never have again and there wasn't a thing I could do about it.
I was staring at Eugene with an expression probably suggesting I was on the verge of talking because he hesitated about getting out of the car. Of course what I was on the verge of saying was ... well not fit for some ears, namely those in the back seat huffing about adults who take too long getting out of cars. Thankfully he was doing it silently, but I know my boy and I could feel it. Maybe Eugene could too or he just tired of waiting for me to say something, because he offered his thanks for the lift, said goodnight and left. I wonder if he thought it was odd that hours went by before my car moved from outside his apartment. Well not really hours just enough time for my heart to stop pumping so hard that my vision was blurred. A sure cure for that is always "Moooooooooooooom get a move on will ya!"
Works like a charm.
On the drive home I started wondering why Eugene had waited so long to get out of the car. Did he want me to say something? Was he hoping for more time too? Was I the most insane delusion hopeful idiot on the face of the planet? Would I ever get to know what his skin felt like under my fingers? Was my son looking at me weirdly because I just moaned? I couldn't help feeling that there was something there. I knew I wanted to see it, I couldn't remember wanting anything more but I firmly believed it wasn't just my wishes shining through. Even so I made a decision; if it was going to happen, it would happen and I was going to stop making myself crazy over him. I'm an adult, supposedly, and a mother! From that moment on I planned to start acting like one.
Well for me fulfilling my motherly duties meant attending every possible school activity my son undertook, purely to show my support, there was no ulterior motive at all! Sure, had Eugene happened to be there too it would have been a pleasant coincidence. Just two parents watching, hopefully together, on the sidelines. Have you ever noticed teens and their parents have vastly different views? After a month of attending every soccer practice and volunteering all my spare time to PTA activities, Billy actually got down on his knees and begged me to stop. He said it was freaky that every time he turned around at school his mother was there.
I had to wonder if what he was trying to tell me was I was cramping his style? Paybacks a bitch, I momentarily thought, still bemoaning my lost opportunity with Eugene. I quickly relented and we made a compromise; if I stopped embarrassing him he'd let me come and watch on game days. I then went to my room wondering when we'd reversed roles and he began setting rules in our house. Of course I did know when it had happened, it was that fateful day when half my brain went on strike and refused to do anything but play scenes from Eugene's and my secret home videos 24/7.
I sat there that day and realised what a farce I'd made out of my life. I was going to make it up to Billy if it was the last thing I did. The next weekend I offered to take him and Kendal where ever they wanted to go. I wasn't even hoping it was Eugene's weekend with Kendal and he might want to join us. Ok I was hoping that but still it was a good offer anyway. Unfortunately all my hopes were dashed when Billy replied he wasn't friends with Kendal anymore. I think the noise of my jaw and heart hitting the floor was loud enough to wake the dead.
Billy looked at me in confusion and I came so close to screaming at him that he WILL spend all his free time with Kendal and what's more he WILL enjoy it! Instead I muttered something about that being a shame, as in a shame you've just broken your mother's already broken heart. No more insider information. Not that he'd ever provided me with any. To add insult to injury I had to fulfil my offer and subsequently spent the weekend in the company of his new best friend. Can I just say I've never met a more annoying toad of a little weasel before? Oh and the father was even worse! Let's just say it was obvious where the son's weaselness, weasality, weaseldom, whatever was inherited from.
My disappointment over the end of Billy and Kendal's friendship only made me realize how silly I'd become. I mean I'd never even really spoken to Eugene. What did I know about him except I wholeheartedly approved of the way he looked and according to my son he was ok for an old guy? I had myself convinced I was pining away for a guy who had to be taken. I mean if even the weasel guy was married, how could I expect someone with Eugene's qualities to be free? Some woman, who probably has no idea how lucky she is, was probably curled up in his arms right now.
Sanity slowly began creeping back in and I got on with my life. I'm not saying many days went by when Eugene didn't somehow enter my thoughts but I didn't encourage those thoughts to appear or linger. My son must have started to believe I was no longer suffering from demonic possession or multiple personality disorder, because he stopped giving me the 'are you safe to come near' look every time he entered a room. I can honestly say I was even happy. I'd moved on. I'd remembered I had friends, family, a career of sorts and I didn't need more. I knew I could live happily with what I had, but not if I continued in that delusion. Of course once I'd made the decision to forget him I had to go and run into Eugene again didn't I?
It was totally innocent. I was walking down the street, he was walking down the street and our paths met. He smiled and stopped so I smiled and stopped. We exchanged boring mundane pleasantries as you do with someone you don't really know. I mean for God's sake I think we even discussed the weather! He said goodbye and was about to walk away when I blurted out an invitation for him to have dinner with me tonight. Then my nerves took over and I started rambling about how my son was away at camp and I had a million things to do for the day and would be too tired to cook, so a meal at a restaurant would be a great relief and that company always makes it so much more enjoyable. I initially saw rejection flash over his face but as I launched into my spiel it yielded to compassion and he, somewhat reluctantly, said yes.
Having heard the word yes said more adorably than I'd ever heard it said before, I set a time and place, then ran before Eugene could possibly change his mind. Not that I expected him to, oh I wasn't thinking he couldn't resist my charms, no I knew he said yes out of pity, but pity or not he'd agreed, and hopefully I'd make a better impression on the actual date then I had during the asking.
Yes it was a date even if only in my mind. I could tell you what I did for the rest of today but it was a blur. I know I bought a new outfit so when/if he complimented me I could blush and say "oh this old thing?" I came close to getting my hair done but then remembered that whole 'I have a hell of a day and need cheering up' rubbish I'd spun him, and thought coming in freshly coifed would let him know I'd lied. I know I made an appearance at work but feel I may be lucky to still have a job tomorrow as I have no recollection of being productive while there, unless you call daydreaming productive. I don't think I've ever accidentally hung up on so many clients in my whole career as I did this afternoon.
I was so eager for the date that I was ready an hour early. I had to literally sit on my hands to stop myself grabbing my keys and leaving the house already. I was determined to appear normal, I was not going to sit in the restaurant jumping up and down in excitement for an hour. No I had it all planned. I was going to arrive 5 minutes late hoping that would give the impression I wasn't overexcited about it. Well the conspiracy continued because somehow I ended up being ten minutes early. I cringed as I parked the car. I even considered waiting in the car for fifteen minutes, but the premonition of me seeing him walk down the street, and in a total klutz moment, pressing my whole body against the car horn, had me jumping out of the car.
I walked casually up to the restaurant until, two feet from the door I saw him arriving in the opposite direction. He gave me the most gorgeous smile and I knew it was going to be fine. Eugene may have accepted out of pity but he didn't appear reluctant to be here. He looked amazing. When I'd bumped into him earlier he was a little rumpled. Tie uneven, top button undone looking hurried and harried. But not now. I couldn't help feeling a twinge of excitement that he had tidied himself up a bit to have dinner with me. It's more than just a straightened tie and buttons done up, not that I wouldn't have minded no tie and buttons undone, in fact I think I really would have liked that, I've just got to know if the skin on his chest is as smooth as the skin on his head. I stopped myself just before I launched into giggles at the idea his head even looks shinier tonight. That was the moment I realized I'd lost what little grasp I had on sanity. I suddenly became aware that he was talking to me as I ruminated on what was under that shirt and the preening habits of bald men. I gave a nervous laugh and apologized for my distraction, hoping against hope he had no idea where my thoughts had wandered off to. We exchanged small talk as we waited for our table.
I don't know what it was about him as we stood there but I couldn't get it out of my head that he now had a datish appearance about him. I couldn't be sure but I suspected he'd even changed ties. The one I've been remembering him in all afternoon was far greener than this one. The one he was wearing now was more sea green. It suited him. Although I think he'd look great in any colour, hmm maybe not baby blue.
Thankfully we were led to our table before I had a chance to blurt out a request to be allowed to wallow in his wardrobe. The very thought of being surrounded by his clothing. Of lying amidst shirts, suits, sweaters and T's that smelled of him, while running my hands along soft as silk ties of every shade, verifying which most highlighted his eyes, had me on the brink of a somewhat embarrassing moan.
My mind was decidedly one tracked. Having him this close, this receptive, was just filling my mind with the feverish thoughts that have resided there ever since I first saw him. I'd been fighting a losing battle to repress them for so long, I was afraid they would all come tumbling out. Knowing my propensity to ramble when I'm nervous, my unfortunate habit of saying whatever is most likely to embarrass the hell out of me, I decided to immediately direct the conversation towards him.
"So Eugene, what do you do for a living?" I asked thinking that question was harmless enough. He flinched, it was barely noticeable but I was paying careful attention. I mean I was paying enough attention to have monitored the motion of his nose hair, if I was so inclined, which by the way I'm not. Let's just say although he tried not to show it I saw his shutters go up.
I suddenly became nervous, the memory of one of the mothers from the school warning me about letting Kendal hang around with my son flashed through my mind. I'd walked away from her at the time, never having allowed her opinion to sway me before. She always had been a pretentious snob, more interested in her appearance and the materialistic trimmings she felt demonstrated success, then the things I found important in life. I wondered now if I'd walked away from her warning too soon. There was something Eugene was reluctant to tell me and I'll admit I let my imagination run a little wild.
Could those soulful eyes actually belong to an ice cold hitman, a mob boss, or was he worried earlier because his latest drug shipment went astray. I looked at him and couldn't reconcile any of those options with the man in front of me, so of course I quickly came up with more, I'm nothing if not resourceful. I'd conjured up so many horrendous scenarios in my head that when he stated "I'm a lawyer" the relief those words brought overrode my good sense, I laughed and mumbled "Insert own lawyer joke here." He tensed up immediately and I could see the walls around him rising to unscalable heights before my eyes.
Remember that nervous rambling thing I mentioned? Well it reared its ugly little head.
"I'm sorry" I quickly said before launching into the longest most embarrassing apology in history. "It's just I come from a family of lawyers, so I've heard every lawyer joke there is. You could say I'm the black sheep in the family because I'm the only one who didn't go into law. I think it's the way they punish me for it by bombarding me with lawyer jokes. I spend every family function cowering from lawyers. Not that I don't approve of the profession, I do honestly! It just wasn't for me, too much work and well, I had my sights set on being an actress. Can you imagine the look on my fathers face when I told him I'd be studying acting in college and not law? I don't think he ever accepted it was a real course."
Eugene was looking at me with surprised eyes now, but I was on a roll, and nothing was going to stop me from blurting out my whole sorry life story.
"I suppose falling in love with my first leading man didn't help my fathers opinion of my career choice much, or running off and getting married at eighteen during spring break. I'd always been impetuous and ... well it just felt like the right thing to do at the time. Of course then I ended up leaving before I completed my third year because by then we had Billy. When it was just the two of us we could stretch the budget to its limits, but now with the responsibility of a baby too, I wanted to be earning money. He needed to be provided for and two practically non existent student incomes wasn't going to do it. So I did a six week secretarial course and I even almost took a job in the family firm, but ... well I'm stubborn. I didn't want to always be answering to my siblings demands. I was the youngest so I'd grown up with my brothers always telling me what to do and I certainly didn't want to make a career out of that. Plus I wanted to prove I could look after myself. I didn't want anyone saying I made it because I was given handouts and I have made it. I don't care what anyone says. I've done well for myself."
Eugene nodded as if afraid of the determination in my eyes. I know I become hostile sometimes with people giving me the poor you routine when they realise I'm a single mom. I'm proud of what I've made of my life and well, I get defensive with people only seeing my glass half full.
It suddenly hit me that I had no idea what I've just told Eugene. He probably knows everything about me now, including my favorite color and the position of my birth mark. I swallowed the golf ball that had risen in my throat and tried to smoothly cover up my gaff by pretending none of what I just said happened.
"So what type of law do you practice?" I asked casually as I eyed my empty wine glass and wondered how many I'd need to forget this night ever happened.
Eugene looked a little like a deer caught in headlights when he said "I'm a defense attorney."
I don't know what's wrong with me but put me in a tense situation and I'll do the thing most likely to make me cringe in mortification. So of course in reaction to Eugene's hesitant comment I unconsciously reached out, placing my hand on his I gave it a squeeze as I said wistfully "Ah one of the good guys."
His eyes dropped to my hand then raised and looked at me in surprise. I wanted to crawl under the table and hide, but figured an explanation may be more beneficial if I ever wanted to see Eugene again. Call me a sucker for punishment but I didn't want to give up on us yet. I was grateful I'd had the foresight not to wear red because I'd be looking like one big fat blubbering tomato by now.
I could feel my cheeks blazing as I launched into ramble mode again. "I'm sorry! My grandfather was a defense attorney, his sons didn't follow in his footsteps, my father is a solicitor while my uncle worked his way up in the public prosecutions department until he was appointed to the bench, while my oldest brothers are in corporate law. Whenever my grandfather would visit he'd ask my youngest brother what he wanted to be, and when he'd say a defense attorney he'd reach out and grasp his hand saying 'ah one of the good guys.' He was so pleased to have someone in the family doing something he was so proud of. Of course then he'd come to me and I'd say an actress and he'd pat me on the head and say you'll grow out of it." I paused to catch my breath then mumbled "It's always bugged me a bit that he was right."
Eugene chuckled and I realised I'd done it again. Shaking my head, with a laugh I swore to him that for the rest of the night I wouldn't say another word.
"Not even to order?" he teased picking up his menu.
"Ok I'll speak again to order" I said picking up mine as well "But not another word after that."
We ordered our meals and despite my earlier proclamation I did continue to speak. Humiliation apparently serves well as an ice breaker and I found myself now surprisingly relaxed with Eugene. It isn't like I have any secrets left for him to find. We talked about a lot of things over dinner and I even let him get a word in every now and then. The greatest surprise though came from realizing he was so much better than the man I'd conjured in my mind. He was intelligent, kind, incredibly funny, warm and oh so loveable.
I'd never felt so comfortable with someone so soon. Unfortunately time refused to stand still and we had to accept the night was over. As he helped me on with my coat, his fingers slid so softly over my skin I was surprised at the ferocity of the warmth and sensation that washed over me. I started chanting in my head to stop myself doing a Meg Ryan in the restaurant.
"I'd like to do that again" I heard him hesitantly say.
"Me too" I replied then realized he probably meant dinner. Well I do want that too, almost as much as I want to feel his touch again.
As we walked to the door, his hand rested on my back, gently guiding me, branding me with his mark for all time.
"Maybe we can do something with the boys together one weekend?" he said.
Like migrate to a deserted island? Was my first thought then I decided to scratch that as the boys would make that unbearable and I refuse to live anywhere without my son. Then I thought of another flaw in his plan "I don't think they're friends anymore" I informed him.
Eugene looked confused to hear this. A slightly different reaction from my outright devastation at the same news but then again he can afford to be more relaxed as we've agreed to meet again. "You sure?" he asks.
"Um fairly" I replied "but honestly it has been a while since Billy told me so, so who knows now?"
"Well Kendal asked if Billy could come over again next weekend."
"Really?" I couldn't help smiling, this is good news! "I guess they are friends again then."
"Yeah probably were just fighting over some girl" he said and I felt my face go white. Eugene became concerned and rubbed my arm "You ok?"
"Yeah it's just the thought of Billy dating, I can't even manage my own dates, how am I supposed to advise him?"
"I think you do ok" Eugene said softly and I looked deep into his eyes.
"Really?" I asked before all breath left my body.
"Really" he replied his face drawing ever nearer to mine.
I blurted out inanely "So this was a date?"
"Yeah it was a date" he said before his lips pressed against mine in a whisper soft, heart melting kiss.
It will probably surprise you to know, that I didn't grab him and thrust my body against his, crying out to him to make a woman out of me. Instead I delighted in the sweetness of a tentative all too brief kiss, smiled up at him and said yes I was free on Saturday night and would love to have dinner with him. I allowed him to walk me to my car, accepted another super soft caress from his lips then climbed into my car and drove home.
I arrived home crying because I was so happy. I felt like all the craziness I'd been going through finally had a point. I hadn't been insane, I'd just recognized what was right for me the moment I saw it. Love at first sight was not something I'd ever believed in. Well maybe it was too early to talk of love but I knew I'd just found a great friend. I found a part of me I hadn't known was missing. I was complete. The only thing I could have wished for was my son to be home so I could cover him in smother love. Although I'd have to put up with him complaining if I did, but right now, I'm so full of joy even his complaints would be music to my ears.
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You can read the sequel here Dreaming aloud
