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A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive, blonde female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mail box.
A blonde is driving down the road. She notices that she's low on gas so she stops at the gas station. While she's pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So, when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so she can attempt to open the door herself.
To: My Boss
I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest,
none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have
finished the conversion of all of the months on all the company calendars
for next year. The calendars have returned from the printer and are ready
to be distributed with the following new months:
Januark, Februark, Mak, Julk
I also changed all the days of each week to:
Sundak, Mondak, Tuesdak, Wednesdak, Thursdak, Fridak, and
Saturdak
We are now Y to K compliant.
How do you keep your blonde secretary occupied?
Why don't blondes like making Kool-Aid?
What do you call it when a blonde drives down the street with her head out the window?
Why can't blondes take coffee breaks?
Why can't blondes be pharmacists?
What's the definition of eternity?
What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the ocean?
What do you call a basement full of blondes?
What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
Why Do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." The other one said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued for a while and they were still arguing when the train hit them.
Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. They tried and tried to get the door open, but they couldn't. The girl with the coat hanger stopped for a moment to catch her breath, and her friend said anxiously, "Hurry up! It's starting to rain and the top is down!"
Heard about the blonde that got an AM radio?
What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
What did the blonde say when she saw the YMCA sign?
Why do blondes like lightning?
Why did the blonde climb the chain link fence?
How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday?
Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice?
Got any Blonde Jokes?
Back to Lysa's Place
She opened it then slammed it shut stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" To which she replied,"There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."
She goes outside and begins to jimmy the lock. Ten minutes later, the attendant goes outside to see how the blonde is faring.
The blonde is moving the hanger around and around, while another blonde inside of the car is saying, "A little more to the left... a little more to the right!!"
From: Blonde
Subject: Changing calendars from Y2K
Give her a bag of M-n-M's and tell her to alphabetize them.
Because they can't fit 8 cups of water into the little envelope.
Refueling
They're too hard to retrain
They can't get the bottle into the typewriter
Four blondes at a four-way stop.
An Air Pocket
A whine cellar
"Oh look! Donut seeds!"
This Goes in Front
It took her a month to realize she could play it at night.
They drowned in spring training.
"Look, they spelled MACYS wrong!"
They think someone is taking their picture.
To see what was on the other side.
Tell her a joke on Wednesday.
Because it said 'concentrate'.
Email me with them!
Jealousy - Gin Blossoms
