OH...MY...GOD. MTV is playing an OZZY VIDEO!?!? (for song "Gets Me Through").

Oops. According to the Internet this is old news (vid premiered Sept. 16).

Other old news: New System of a Down CD is pretty fucking good (fave songs: Shimmy, Deer Dance)

THAT ONE MONTH...

For The Record, here's an overview of the looooong month between entries 56 and 57:

I started drinking
FACTOID: I would not exist if it weren't for alcohol.

Butch, the co-worker/"friend" I went to Ozzfest with, talked me into getting drunk with him and a couple of his friends, Bradshaw (18 year old: MARRIED - to hot 19-yr-old - WITH KID) and Jeremy (17 year old paper-boy).

Of course I'd gotten drunk before, but only about a half dozen times. I'd very intentionally avoided alcohol for 2 reasons: I'd ALWAYS embarrassed myself (a lot) and (due to my father being a formerly-very-abusive alcoholic) I'd always seen alcohol as ugly and uncontrollable.

Anyway, I had a good time and, although I did some embarrassing things, I didn't suffer the post-"party" shame (and anxiety) I had before (BTW: the "good time, embarrassments without shame" thing can be applied to all drinking outings described in this entry).

Drank: One bottle Mad Dog 20/20 (grape) + 2 or 3 beers.

Embarrassing things: I talked sooooo much shit (I was always joking of course, example: BRADSHAW: "Hey Jay", ME: "What? You wanna box, motherfucker?"). This resulted in my being beaten by everyone in arm wrestling and Bradshaw punching me in the arm a number of times leaving a GIGANTIC bruise.

So I drink now. During Kat's last month here that's about all I did. The 2 other alcohol-related things worth mentioning:

1. The morning after a night of drinking, MY MOM SMELLED IT ON MY BREATH. I was extremely afraid that would happen, since I thought they would kick me out or worse. Turns out it wasn't a big deal (but if I get arrested or something she said not to bother calling them).

2. I went to small, unassuming party that turned out to be pretty fucking badass. Badass elements:

A. Street in front of house covered in broken beer-bottle glass (it was funny when cars drove by through the sea of glass...until a cop car drove through it).

B. Couch, sitting on curb across the street, was burned. Columbus Fire Department came and put out fire. While they did this Kat whistled and made semi-obscene comments along with another girl.

C. When all 15 or so people attending the 2 small, side-by-side parties walked across the street (to fight someone or something), 4 or 5 of them/us were arrested. Luckily, as soon as the cops walked up I handed Kat my beer (she's 21, I'm 20) so, despite being openly drunk, I didn't get carded (while everyone holding a container of alcohol did). So, still blatantly drunk and not-carded, I drunkenly asked some cops if you had to major in Criminology to be a cop. Of course you don't, and it turns out cops hate criminology majors.

More nonsense on The Lost Month to come! Including...
* Brief overview of my pseudo-relationship with Kat
* Bands that you should like because I do
* Short descriptions of people you'll never meet
...SO STAY TUNED!

Chris-I-was-supposed-to-visit-in-DC-but-didn't-and-never-let-him-know-I'd-cancelled-my-plans-to-do-so left me a voicemail recently. I'm happy about this...I didn't think he'd ever talk to me again.

* * *

The day after Kat moved I woke up and...kazaam...I wasn't sad anymore (which is good 'cause I was really fucking depressed about the whole thing). Of course, it was really nice to talk to her later on and stuff, and my life has been pretty empty ever since, but I feel okay now.

* * *

While I'm typing this I don't have access to the Internet. I'm pretty frustrated by this. When I found that I could not access the Internet I assumed it was AOL Time Warner's fault and that they would fix it. Five hours later I still couldn't connect so I called AOL Time Warner and sat on the phone for FORTY-FIVE FUCKING MINUTES before reaching a human-fucking-being. Anyway, turns out the problem's on my end and my parents pretty much knew all day and didn't do a fucking thing about it and then went to bed.

Kat moved to Florida today, but I'm still here.

I wish I were dead. I am dead. Kat was my life. We spent every non-working moment together. When I was with her I was where I wanted to be. I never looked forward to going home or thought of any place else.

When she had an apartment we'd spend 20 straight hours there just chillin'. I've spent the last month getting drunk with her every other night.

The pain is so goddamned inescapable. She said she'll call when she gets there. I'm really looking forward to hearing from her, despite the inevitable extra pain.

It really happened. She's gone. How could this have happened? I want Kat to come back and everything to go back to how it was. I really really want that.

If there is a God, he has no fucking mercy.

I CAN'T ESCAPE

The Long, Insane Story That Ends With Me Deciding To Stop Taking Nyquil
FYI: I still take Nyquil.

SEMI-NECESSARY BACKGROUND
I agreed to give my car-less co-worker (and quasi-friend) Butch and his 15-yr-old friend Jimmy (who Butch is trying to talk into dropping out of highschool) a ride to Ozzfest. I was to meet them at United Dairy Farmers at SIX O CLOCK IN THE MORNING on Friday.

Since my sleep-rotation was (FYI: still is) fucked up (i.e. i go to bed at 6am, wake up at 5pm), in order to meet them I had to stay up all of Wednesday night, go to bed Thursday afternoon/evening and wake up Friday morning. So...

THE STORY
I stayed up all of Wednesday night and went to bed at 1pm Thursday (shoulda stayed up a bit later, but I had been taking Nyquil all night and copped out) and woke up FIFTEEN MINUTES AFTER (6:15 am) I was supposed to meet them! Unfortunately, neither Butch nor Jimmy carry a pager or cell (and my cellphone said I had missed three calls), so I had to call UDF and ask if the cashiers saw anyone loitering outside, etc. Sadly, the motherfuckers at UDF didn't speak fucking English! (or at least they pretended not to). So, anxiety-stricken, I washed my hair, brushed my teeth, hopped in my car and got to UDF AN HOUR after I was supposed to meet them and (of course) THEY WEREN'T THERE!

I had no fucking idea what to do. There was no way to contact Butch and Jimmy. "Should I wait and, if so, how long? At what point should I go to Ozzfest? Had they hitched a ride with someone else? As soon as I get there, they're going to call me."

So I went across the street to get some smokes from Budget Smokes.

THE SHOCKING CONCLUSION
So while the guy at Budget Smokes was ringing me up I told him all about my problem, and asked him for advice.

Anyway, it turns out I had woken up at 6:15 PM Thursday and was so disoriented that it took me an HOUR to figure out that it wasn't Friday morning, and it was only when someone explicitly told me that I did.

I was supposed to visit my old highschool friend Chris in Washington DC last week ("supposed to" = I said I would) but couldn't 'cause I didn't have enough money and work got in the way and stuff. That sucks.

I did the greatest thing at work the other day, I've recorded it here in script format:


WHERE: Speedway (gas station)
WHO: Cashier 1 (JAY), Cashier 2 (BUTCH) and CUSTOMER
---
CUSTOMER, wearing work uniform, walks up to the counter

As JAY rings up CUSTOMER, he notices name of company CUSTOMER works for is funny.

JAY (yelling to BUTCH): Hey Butch, ask this guy where he works!

BUTCH (asking CUSTOMER): Where do you work?

CUSTOMER (mumbling): Cummins

JAY (to CUSTOMER): Say it clearer, I don't think he heard you.

CUSTOMER (louder): CUMMINS

JAY: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

The customer didn't like that very much, but that's okay 'cause I hate customers.

I was sitting outside having a cigarette just now (it's dark out), when after seeing what appeared to be a skunk scurry across a lighted spot in the lawn I got to play the Where-the-fuck-did-the-skunk-go game.

If I ever have a kid, I'm going to name it Frosty.

God, I'm so fucking psyched for Ozzfest today, baby. RRRAAAAAAA!!!!! It's gonna be so fucking awesome. I wasn't really excited about it 'til I saw Ozzy's picture in the paper and realized how fucking cool it is that I'm actually gonna see some Rock Superstars today. RRRAAAAAAAA!!!!!

I've taken my last dose of Nyquil for awhile and there's a really great story behind it. Coming soon to my always eventless journal!

FYI: Also, the paper had a pic of the minor I wanna make sweet love to: Kelly Osbourne.