I decided to create this web site in about 1999. I wrote most of the material in 1998 and I began creating the graphics and outline in 2000 but then put it off due to work and other procrastinations.

My desire to educate people on the issue of how to prepare for marriage starts a year earlier, in 1998, when a friend saw how lonely I was in the pursuit of a mate and gave me a book to read. She noticed how I had arrived at some of the same conclusions as the author and would be interested in it. The book was titled I Kissed Dating Goodbye by Joshua Harris. Though I do not entirely agree with some of the tenets proposed by Harris, reading his book would begin for me an intense period of study and gathering information about how and how not to prepare for marriage.

During that period, I read over a dozen books on the subject, attended classes and watched videotapes on marriage preparation, and looked at divorce and health statistics to help solidify my views. I also noticed that very few books were written for males or even from the male perspective. I began to think back to my high school days and remember how so many of my classmates were "dating". I started seeing people acting in exactly the ways advised against by those very authors I was reading. I felt like grabbing some of these people and shaking them, telling them they were doing it all wrong and that if they continued along that path, they'd likely be unhappily married or worse, divorced. Either way, someone was going to get hurt. And I didn't want that to happen.

A lot of people took resentment at this however. You don't need to be a professional counselor to have heard this line: "But you don't understand mom. We love each other." How many times have you heard or even said that one? Or this one, from a sobbing young daughter, "I don't understand. I thought he loved me."

We no doubt have a friend or have ourselves been hurt in a romantic relationship. Following the guidelines here won't make you invulnerable, since all relationships involve becoming vulnerable, but you will be much better prepared.