(To the tune of Humpty Dumpty)

Martha Stewart
Made a white cake
Martha Stewart
She is a flake
All the craftsmakers and all the craftsmen
Couldn't tell Martha she looked like a hen

Adam Sandler
Makes fun of kids
Adam Sandler
Has flipped his lid
All the comedians at all of their shows
Couldn't bring themselves to tell him he blows

William Clinton
Has an odd face
William Clinton
What a disgrace
All the elephants and all the donkeys
Couldn't tell him that he smells so raunchy

Michael Jackson
Is a white man
Michael Jackson
Won't ever be tan
All of his friends and all of the Jackson's
Couldn't tell him he looked like a skeleton

Clinton Eastwood
Looks like my ass
Clinton Eastwood
Is oh so crass
All of the cowboys and all the cowgirls
Didn't know if they'd rather praise him or hurl

Santa Clause Man
Is really fat
Santa Clause Man
Doesn't know it
All of the good girls and all the good boys
Don't want him ever to bring them their toys

Elvis Presley
Died from drugs
Elvis Presley
Wasn't a thug
All the teenyboppers and all the gay men
Wanted to get in the sack with him

Your mommy dear
Is oh so dumb
Your mommy dear
Looks like my bum
All of your friends and all of your teachers
Wish they could take a stick and beat her