I watched him out of the corner of my eye on the cab ride home. He stared out the window at the darkened city. He still held my hand and I gave it a gentle squeeze to get his attention. He turned his dark eyes toward me.
“I met Quin when I was nineteen. He swept me off my feet before I ever told him my name. We shared a sign language class at UCF. By our second date I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving him. He was magic and he made me believe in myself. He was like my star in the night. Like Riley was for you,” I added.
“What’s it like to sleep at night without the nightmares of losing him?” Alex asked softly.
“He died just before my twenty-first birthday. For nearly a year the nightmares haunted me. I never closed my eyes they were so horrible. It took time. It took a lot of time before I could sleep and not see his lifeless body. I finally got to a point where my sleep was filled with joyous memories and hopeful dreams. Quin was always going to love me like I was always going to love him. I would never see his smile again but I knew I was someone who would always make him smile,” I said, the corners of my own mouth lifting in a happy memory.
“She understood me like no one else ever has. She didn’t look at me as if trying to define me. She looked at me as if I needed no definition. She never expected, she just accepted. I’ve only known one other woman like that,” Alex confessed.
“Who?” I asked quietly.
“My mother.”
The cab stopped outside his house and we climbed out. It was almost three o’clock in the morning by then.
“Who do you want me to call first?” I asked as he unlocked the door.
“What do you mean?” he questioned, looking at me with troubled eyes.
“The guys. Who do you want me to call over first?”
“None of them, Greer. It’s three in the morning. They are at home asleep in their wives arms down the hall from their children. They don’t need to have you call and drag them from their homes for me,” Alex argued as we walked into his house.
“Maybe they don’t need to be drag from them, but they would willingly come to you if you needed them. Alex, you need them. They love you and they want to help. Now who first?” I demanded, putting my foot down on the subject.
“Howie. Call Howie first,” he answered quietly, sinking into his sofa.
Half an hour later I hung up the phone after talking to Nick. Thankfully his sister was in town and could stay with the kids while he came over.
I walked back into the living room where Alex sat curled on his sofa. His knees pulled to his chin I watched him staring off into the dark.
“Do not go gentle into that good night/Old age should burn and rave at the close of day,” I quoted.
“Rage, rage against the dying of the light,” he finished looking up at me.
“You know Dylan Thomas?” I asked, kneeling next to him.
“Shakespeare, Thomas, new and old. I live in books. They hold a world of dreams and answers. Things I could have never imagined without them,” he explained.
“Answers?” I questioned.
“A few,” he said, looking away.
“But not the ones you need to know, not the ones that would ease the pain,” I supplied.
“ I know you mean well, Greer, but nothing’s going to ease this. I love her too much,” he said, standing up.
“I’m not trying to get you to stop loving her. I’m trying to get you to move on with you’re life while you love her,” I screamed, standing up as well.
He looked at me, his eyes round with surprise.
“You don’t yell, Greer,” he said quietly.
“How do you know what I do, Alex? Since the first night you passed out in front of the Lonely Star it’s all been about you. You’re pain, your fear, your nightmares. And that’s fine, Alex. You need the attention and the support and the love that will get you past this, but don’t stand there and tell me what I do and don’t do when you have no idea who I am,” I yelled at him.
“I know you’re a waitress, I know you were in love, I know… I know… I know,” but he couldn’t finish, he couldn’t go on.
“You don’t know,” I corrected. “And I don’t need you to know. But you need me to know it hurts and you’re scared. And you need me to know you need someone to help you. That someone is me and the four men on their way over here.”
“How do you know what I need?” he asked.
“Because, Alex, you’re going to die if you don’t let go and I’m not going to let that happen,” I answered.
“Why do you care so much?”
“Because I can’t stand to see a soul so tortured, because I care about you, Alex,” I admitted.
Links to other sites on the Web
Chapter 12
Back to Fan Fiction Index
Get your own Free Home Page