“Sweet dreams, Red,” I said, signing the words as I tucked Kane into bed that night. Sitting on the edge of the bed on one side, Alex sat on the other watching us.
“Thank you, Greer,” the little boy whispered, his voice so different than what I heard on a daily basis.
“For what, Kane?” I asked, smoothing his hair back.
“For being my friend,” he said, turning sleepy eyes toward Alex. “Thanks, Alex.”
“For what, kiddo?” Alex asked, holding the boy’s hand.
“For coming and for being my new friend.” And with those softly spoken words Kane drifted off into a world of beautiful dreams.
Quietly, Alex and I made our way out of the room. I bid Sydney a quick good-bye as we slipped out of the school.
Outside on the street, Alex took my hand and hailed a cab.
“Alex, we don’t need this. I live right around the corner,” I argued, shaking my head.
“I need to go somewhere and the walk is too far. Please, Greer,” he begged and I saw the anguish once again in his brown eyes.
I could always see his heart in his eyes. Eyes that he tended to hide behind hats and sunglasses. Did he hide them because he knew I could see or did he hide from the world? Did he simply hide to hide? I wondered so many things, things I would never learn in a lifetime if I couldn’t get him to open up to me more. He still held himself so closed sometimes.
As we climbed into the cab he held my hand tightly and it scared me.
“Alex, are you all right?” I asked quietly.
“I don’t know. I just don’t know anymore, Greer. One minute I think my life with be filled with this emptiness, the pain forever. The next I think maybe, just maybe I’ll be okay again. Then suddenly the pain takes over again and I feel like I’m drowning in it,” he answered. He looked at me suddenly with questioning eyes. “Why did you take me there? Why did you let me meet Kane?”
“He’s had a life filled with silence. He hears with the motion of hands, the vibrations of sound. He’ll never hear someone laugh, the sound of his mother’s voice, a song, a cry, a story, or a movie. He’ll never hear the things we take for granted so much. He knows he never will, yet he’s found this ability, this light in his own darkness that lets him life in a way most people never understand or dream of. He’s never heard a single sound, Alex, but his life is filled with so much beautiful music, so many wonderful sounds that he hears his way. You’ve loved a woman and lost her. I wanted you to see that your life will always be filled with her. You just have to learn to hear her your way,” I said, squeezing his hand gently.
He turned away from me and stared at the window as we rode through the blackened city. I could feel the emotions swirling through him, his struggle, his questions, his fight to find his life again, to remember her love.
I turned to look out the window and try to place where we were and where we were going. One turn led to another and before long I had figured out just where we were pulling up finally.
Alex opened his door and gently pulled me out. Holding tightly to my hand as if afraid I would disappear or that he would, we made our way through the darkened cemetery.
I know walking through a cemetery at night sounds terrifying and freaky to most people but I found a sense of peace in walking through it will Alex. It wasn’t a place filled with terror of the undead reaching out and grabbing you. It was a place of peace, of resting so the soul could go on. It didn’t scare me. Made me sad sometimes, but never scared me.
We stopped in front of small stone and Alex pulled me with him as he knelt in the grass.
“Her name was Riley Elizabeth O’Brien when we met her, when Nick met her. He and I were having lunch the day they met. She was playing in the fountain at the hotel next door. He saw her and went to chase her out before she got arrested. He caught her just as she slipped on the edge. If I had gone out first maybe she would have fallen into my arms, fallen in love with me,” Alex said, his free hand tracing the name on the gravestone.
I peered at the words engraved in the moonlight as I knelt beside my brokenhearted friend.
So now I come to you
With open arms
Nothing to hide
Believe what I say
So here I am
With open arms
Hoping you’ll see
What your love means to me
Open arms
“I know those words. That’s that song from Journey, isn’t it?” I asked quietly.
“Yeah, it was their song. It defined them. He knew from the beginning. We all did. She never hid her illness, never denied she was dying. She always said she wasn’t dying. She was just going to die sooner than she had originally planned. She lived till the very end and she loved so much. Through it all I wondered why she didn’t love me like she loved Nick. Why did I love her so much when she was so in love with my best friend?” he asked.
I wondered if he was speaking to a higher power or me or was he simply asking Riley for the answer his heart craved.
“I held her one night when Nick let her down. They were fighting over having a baby, the baby she wanted so much. I wanted more than anything to give her that baby, to promise her no matter what she would have a child before her time ended. I held her that night and I promised her no matter what I would always be there, I would always love her. He kept hurting her and yet she kept loving him. Why? Why did she always go back to him when I was the one who could have given her the world?” he begged and I heard the tears in his voice. I looked up at him and saw them streaming down his face as he released his pain and anger finally.
“Why, starlight? Why did you always go back to him when I was the one who always held your hand, who always stood by you?” he cried, laying down on the grass next to Riley’s grave.
I leaned over him and ran my hand through his hair as he cried. It was time.
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