A Day in the Life Of.. (Day 117) Austin - New York - Dallas
Chris was waiting backstage at the Letterman show, pacing nervously. She wasn't one for stage fright, but this was network television. That was a whole other world than MTV.
She also had just gotten final word from her attorneys, MTV would indeed be airing the story about the attempted rape on her next Monday night. Nick's attorney had tried to stop them, but since the focus on the segment was her, not Nick, he couldn't argue. All she could do was hold her head up high, and hope things worked out in the end.
Double checking her face in the mirror, she looked closely to see if the bruises were visible. Only if you put your nose right up against the mirror. Good.
"Chris, we're ready for you." The producer who had done Chris' pre-interview held the door open.
Chris followed the woman to the set.
"I'll let you know when," the producer whispered, listening intently to her headset. When the proper signal was given, she pushed Chris in the direction of the curtain. Chris had been shown earlier where she was to walk out.
Chris walked out onto the stage of the Ed Sullivan theater, surprised when she heard the familiar screams of Backstreet fans there. Grinning at the sound, she waved to the audience while walking over to David Letterman.
Dave kissed Chris' cheek and led her to her chair, "your seat."
Chris settled in with a smile, looking out at the audience.
"Chris." Dave sat back in his chair, and looked at her. "Let's talk about this reality based television craze. You're doing what, now?"
"Well," Chris smiled pretty for the cameras, "I am the Executive Producer of a show called A Day in the Life: Behind the Scenes of the Rock Stars. We show you what really happens to a band off stage, the good and the bad. No scripts, no actors, a real band, and real people."
"The Backstreet Boys." Dave winced when the audience screamed.
"The Backstreet Boys." Chris confirmed.
"So you follow the guys around everywhere with the cameras?"
"Everywhere." She nodded.
"Is anywhere off-limits?"
"We won't go into the bathrooms and film there. But other than that, yup, we film absolutely everything."
Dave winked, "have you caught anyone doing the nasty yet?"
Chris grinned. "That has been known to happen."
"Speaking of doing the nasty," Dave paused, took a sip of water. "Tell me about you and Nick."
Chris stammered, "pardon?" How on earth was she going to answer that question on national television when she didn't even know the answer herself?
"You and Nick, the blond one." Dave laughed. "What's up with you two?"
"Nick's a really good friend."
"That's all?" He asked, tone clearly implying she was lying.
"That's all. I've been going through a hard time lately, and Nicky's been wonderful, he's always been there. He's a great guy."
"Sure." Dave grinned. "Now I understand you have a special announcement to make?"
Chris nodded. MTV had decided to put together a special contest for their viewers, to take advantage of Chris being on Letterman. "I do. Now, as all you viewers out there know, I'm spending nine months on tour with the Backstreet Boys. While we can't exactly offer all of you that, we are going to take two of you on tour with us for a couple days."
"How cool!" Dave said in his best fake announcer voice, "How do we enter?"
"Here's where it gets fun." Chris smiled into the camera. "Fans are always telling the guys how much they've been inspired by them to write, to sing, to dance. We want to see your BSB-inspired work. The best 2 pieces of art we receive win, and we will get your art looked at by a professional in the appropriate field."
"Holy moly! That's amazing!" Dave was still doing the voice. "Any restrictions?"
"Open to all above the age of 13, details will be available on the MTV.com website after tonight's episode of A Day in the Life Of...." Chris finished.
Dave thanked her for being a wonderful guest, kissed her cheek again, and she was off.
************************************
A Day in the Life Of.. Day 119 Dallas
"Chris!" Howie ran over to give her a hug as she stepped into the arena. "You were fantastic last night!"
"You looked so hot on TV." AJ spun her around. "And you don't wince when I touch you anymore!"
"I'm as good as new." She smiled. Maybe on the outside, at least. "And ready to get back on that stage."
"Good, I missed my dance partner." Nick came up behind her, slipping his arm around her waist. "You were great last night."
"Thanks." Chris was watching Kevin walk in. She hadn't had the nightmare in 2 nights now, so maybe all was cured. He was starting to look like Kevin again, not like that horrible man.
"Ready, boys and girls?" Fatima clapped her hands, the bracelets on her arms clanking together.
Climbing onto the stage, Chris got into position for the song, Nick's hand tight on her hip. They spun through the routine, until...
As per choreography, Kevin raised his arm above his head as if to hit Chris. Chris screamed in a gut reaction and cowered below him, falling to the floor, "no, don't."
"Oh god," Nick ran over to hug Chris, glaring at Kevin. "What the fuck did you say to her?"
"Nothing." Kevin stared at Chris, shock all over his face.
Chris pushed Nick away, "I'm fine." She stood up and wiped her eyes. "I don't know what that was."
Fatima wasn't about to buy it. "Chris, can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Sure?"
Fatima steered the younger woman through the hallway until they were in a private room. "Chris, sweetie, you're clearly not over what happened. I can rework the choreography so you're comfortable, but it would be easier if I knew what was going on. Why don't you tell me the whole story?"
And she did.
************************************************************
A Day in the Life Of... (Day 120) Dallas
"Chris, you in here?" Julia called, pushing open the door to the bathroom.
"One sec," Chris was fixing her makeup. She'd found that if she kept going to the bathroom every hour or so, she could keep her makeup heavy enough to cover up the bruises that were still left on her face. "Can't show the fans a black and blue eye, can I."
Julia sat down on the edge of the sink, staring at her fingernails. "I was wondering, um..."
"What Jules?" Chris' faith in Julia had been deeply shaken when she saw her with Kevin, but the two were still friends, and Chris could always tell something was wrong.
"Monday's episode is rough cut." Julia's voice was somber. "Do you want to see?"
Chris shook her head, staring at herself in the mirror. "No."
"I'm so sorry Chris, they're making me do this you know," Julia stammered.
"I know." Chris replied. Every single one of the Backstreet Boys had gone to MTV protesting the episode being cut, yet they were airing it anyway. MTV claimed that it was a "deep, emotionally disturbing story of a couple's strength." Chris half hoped the public would be outraged MTV aired the episode as well, but knew deep down that was a self-destructive wish. She could only pray that her team did a decent job with the show, and watch it alone Monday night when it aired. Then next Friday she'd be in the Caribbean, and all would be right with the world. Or so she hoped.
********************************************************
A Day in the Life Of.. Day 121 New Orleans
"Frack!" Brian had found a basketball court, and was dragging his friend out to play. "Come on, play with me." He pouted like a little kid until Nick consented.
They walked to the court, Nick complaining about the weather, making small talk. Once they'd passed the ball around a little, Brian was ready to get to the real reason he'd hunted down the court.
"How's Chris?"
"She's ok, I guess." He stopped dribbling and held the ball still. "She's not the same as before, Frick."
"Something terrible happened to her, Nick, it's going to take her some time to get over it."
Nick nodded and dribbled the ball a few times. "The sparkle's gone."
"The what?"
"Her eyes...they used to have this sparkle to them." He said wistfully. "It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. The sparkle's gone."
"It'll come back, Nick."
"How do I make it come back?" The younger man looked to the elder, his eyes pleading with him for help.
"Just be there for her. That's all you can do."
Nick gave up playing basketball and sat down on the side of the court. "She won't talk to me about it."
"She will eventually, Nick," Brian sat down next to him. "One of these days, she's going to need to open up. All you can do is make sure you're there when she needs you."
Nick bit his lip. "I want to do something now though."
"You can't, Nick. Let her heal on her own time."
"I want to make the pain go away. It drives me crazy, hearing her scream in her sleep, being unable to help." Nick turned to face Brian, tears in his eyes. "I want to protect her."
Brian recognized the look in Nick's eyes, and his heart went out to him. "I know, I know."
"What kind of person could do something like that to her...monster..." Nick muttered.
Brian hugged his friend. "She's going to be ok, Nick, just be there for her."
"The episode airs Monday night," he said softly. He could still vividly remember every detail of that night, from the panic he felt when he first felt when he first Chris, all battered and beaten, right up until the relief he felt when the doctor told him she would be ok. He had never felt that kind of fear for another person before, the desperate need to make sure she would be safe. The night had left him emotionally stunned, and he wasn't looking forward to seeing it all over again.
"I can't believe they're going through with it," Brian frowned. His attorneys had gotten involved as well, to no avail. "Has Chris seen it yet?"
"She refuses to watch it or talk about it." Nick shook his head. "I asked her if she'd watch it with me when it aired, she said no. I keep feeling like she's protecting me from something, but I don't know what, and it's driving me crazy. Here I am, dying to protect her, and she's trying to shelter me. I'm not a little kid!" he whined.
"She cares about you, Nick, it may scare her to tell you something like that. Whatever happened to her was brutal, you saw the results. Talking about that has to be hard. Give her time. She'll tell you soon enough."
"I want her back the way she was."
"Soon Nick, soon."
***********************************************
Chris had been attending the Meet & Greets for the last couple of days, ever since her appearance on Letterman, her following had increased dramatically. She stood at the front of the room, greeting the fans and their parents, as they shuffled down the line.
A girl grabbed her hand and shook it violently, gushing, "It is soooo cool to meet you. You met my friend Marisa in New York, you gave her a backstage pass? Everyone says you're so cool to the fans, you totally rock."
Chris regained her hand and smiled, "Thank you so much. I remember your friend, she recognized Nick."
"Yeah! Oh my god, she's going to be so excited you remembered her!!" The girl hugged Chris, and moved on down the line.
"You're so cool to the fans," Brian whispered in her ear. "You rock."
Chris laughed and elbowed Brian. "B-rok, can it."
That night on stage Chris fell during the routine. She still wasn't sure exactly what happened, just one minute she was spinning, the next she was on the floor. Nick ran over to where she was, on his knees in an instant, while the rest of the guys stood around, stunned.
"I'm fine," Chris brushed off Nick and stood back up, continuing the dance.
"You sure?" He mouthed, nervous.
She nodded, finished the routine, and went back to the hotel. Probably just the stress of the last couple of weeks catching up with her. She still wasn't sleeping very well, and the 'tight leather pants' she wore for the routine weren't so tight anymore, but at least she could sort of handle being alone in the hotel room at night. She didn't tremble quite as much as she used to, at least. She saw her face flash on CNN and turned up the volume on the TV. Not such a rare occurrence anymore, she was actually getting used to the sight. She listened to the reporter:
"An MTV Spokesman revealed tonight that an upcoming episode of 'A Day in the Life Of...,' the cable station's groundbreaking reality based series about the Backstreet Boys, will focus on the Executive Producer of the show, and the attempted rape that occurred on New Years Eve. 27 year old Christen Johnson was assaulted in Washington, DC, on her way home from a New Years Eve party she had attended with the pop group."
Mike Riley's image filled the screen, standing at a press conference, "Monday night's episode is a touching look at two friends, and how they deal with the greatest of tragedies," a picture of Chris and Nick was shown, split screen, "Attempted rape is something that happens far too often. We have watched Chris and Nick start as strangers when the show began, and become the best of friends. This episode is an example of how friends can pull themselves through anything. We can only hope that girls watching who are in a similar situation, will get some comfort from Nick, as did Chris. Far too many girls are ashamed to report rape, and attempted rape is even less reported. Chris herself did not go to the police to report the incident."
Chris felt sick. How dare they use her and Nick like this. "We only hope that girls watching will get some comfort??" Revolting.
She shut off the TV, turned off the light, and sat back in bed, ready for another long night of staring at the ceiling.
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A Day in the Life Of.. (Day 123) Charlotte
Chris sat alone in her hotel room. She was prepared to watch the episode. She had a full bottle of gin next to the bed, along with a bottle of tonic water, and was nicely snuggled into bed in her PJ's and Mickey's. With a final sigh, she turned on the TV, and settled in to watch.
As the opener to her show ran, she wondered if Nick was watching the episode as well. He had been going out to dinner with the guys, she'd begged out for obvious reasons. The screen filled with her image earlier on New Years. Him and Chris leaving for the party, hanging out there. They looked so happy...her eyes filled with tears as she remembered that it had been their first date.
The show continued on to Chris' appearance at Nick's room later that night, the strangled sobs coming from the television shocking her. She watched Nick hold her, and was struck by the fear in his eyes as he called Brian, the tenderness as he carried her out of the room.
She had to admit, the episode was very well put together. It managed to show what had happen to Chris, and how sweet Nick had been, without showing too much of the ugliness that had gone on that night.
A faint knock at the door called her attention. Chris got up and opened it to find Nick on the other side. She wiped off the last of her tears and let him in, turning off the TV on her way to the door. On the show she'd just arrived at the hospital, and she really didn't think she needed to see the doctor examine her.
"Are you ok?" he said softly, taking her into his arms and hugging her tight.
Chris nodded. "Yeah," and she was. Surprisingly alright, actually. She felt better than she'd felt in a long time. "I think seeing that helped me somehow, to move past it."
"It was a horrible thing to happen to you, Chris, but it wasn't your fault."
She curled up into his arms. "Yeah, I know."
"Friday we'll be in the Caribbean." Nick said softly.
"I can't wait," she said sleepily, her eyes already starting to close in the warmth of his embrace.
"If you close your eyes and pretend, you'll be there now," he whispered.
"I want real, Nick."
"It'll be real soon enough," he assured her.
"Good night Nicky."
"Sweet dreams, Chrissy."
Chris fell asleep quickly, breathing deeply. Nick smoothed her hair over her head, watching her sleep.
"This is real, Chrissy," he murmured, kissing her lips softly. "This is real."
***********************************
"KEVIN, NO!" Chris screamed, and bolted upright in bed. She looked around with a start, and realized she'd been dreaming.
"Chris?" Nick sat up next to her. "You had a nightmare."
Chris buried her head in her hands, tears in her eyes. It had been the Kevin dream again, where the guy turns into him.
"Come back," Nick pulled her back down on the bed, holding her tight. "Tell me about the nightmare."
"No, Nicky, I can't," she resisted.
"Why did you scream Kevin's name?" he asked softly, afraid of the answer.
Chris' heart stopped. "What?"
"You screamed 'Kevin, no.'" Nick ran his hand through her hair, and looked deep into her eyes.
His eyes cut to her soul, she couldn't lie to him. "Please don't make me tell you, Nick," she begged.
"You need to tell me, Chris, you've got to get this off your chest." He insisted. "Please let me in."
"Nicky, please..."
"Chrissy, at this point, anything I make up is going to be worse than what actually happened, so PLEASE tell me," the anguish filling his voice.
"Nick, Kevin didn't try to rape me," Chris reassured him.
"That's something," he said wryly. "What did Kevin do, though?"
There's something about a conversation in the early morning hours that makes all logical constraint go out the window. Chris told Nick everything, about Kevin, about AJ, about what the man had done to her. When she got to the man spitting on her, she broke down again, sobbing in his arms while he soothed her, telling her everything was going to be ok. By the time the story was over, the sun was coming up, and both were exhausted.
Chris looked at Nick, feeling terribly guilty for the pain in his eyes. "Nick?"
"It's just a lot to absorb," What AJ had done, he could handle. But Kevin had cheated on his wife, and that was unacceptable in his eyes. He'd respected Kevin, expected better. "I'm blond, give me time."
A half-smile crept across Chris' face, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," Nick said angrily. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anybody is responsible for this, it's Kevin."
"You can't blame him for what happened to me, Nick."
"If you hadn't seen him, you wouldn't have left, it's that simple."
"Kevin's like a brother to you. He did a very bad thing, but he did it to Kristen, she's the one who needs to get angry at him."
"She needs to know."
"No, Nick." Chris said sternly. "Kevin will fuck up soon enough, let him get caught that way."
"I thought they were in love," Nick muttered.
"They may be. Just a different kind of love."
"Not any kind I want."
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